_Dismounted Huntsman_ (_to his mount_). "Whoa, you old brute! To think I went and spared yer from the biler only last week! You hungrateful old "idebound "umbug!"]
"INTS ON "UNTING, BY "ARRY
[Ill.u.s.tration: (1) ON CLOTHES.--"Why not employ local talent? Saves half the money, and no one can tell the difference."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: (2) If the thong of your whip gets under your horse"s tail, just try to pull it out!]
[Ill.u.s.tration: (3) Don"t buy a horse because he is described as being "Well known with the ---- Hounds." It might be true.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: (4) If at a meet your horse should get a bit out of hand, just run him up against some one.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: (5) If opening a gate for the huntsman, don"t fall into the middle of the pack!]
[Ill.u.s.tration: (6) Sit well back at your fences!]
[Ill.u.s.tration: (7) Look before you leap.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: (8) If you lose your horse, just tell the huntsman to catch it for you.]
EXCUSABLE
_M.F.H._ (_justly irate, having himself come carefully round edge of seed-field_). "Blank it all, Rogerson, what"s the good o" me trying to keep the field off seeds, and a fellow like you coming slap across "em?"
_Hard-Riding Farmer._ "It"s all right. They"re my own! Ar"ve just come ower my neighbour"s wheat, and ar couldn"t for vary sham(e) miss my own seeads!"
ANXIOUS TO SELL
_Dealer_ (_to Hunting Man, whose mount has NOT answered expectations_).
"How much do you want for that nag o" yours, sir?"
_Hunting Man._ "Well, I"ll take a hundred guineas."
_Dealer._ "Make it _shillings_."
_H. M._ (_delighted_). "He"s yours!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: NOT A LADIES" DAY
_Miss Scramble._ "Now, Charles, give me one more long hair-pin, and I shall do."]
CASUAL
_Owner of let-out hunters_ (_to customer just returned from day"s sport_).
"Are you aware, sir, that ain"t my "orse?"
_Sportsman._ "Not yours! Then, by Jove, I _did_ collar the wrong gee during that scrimmage at the brook!"
AT OUR OPENING MEET
_Stranger from over the water._ "I guess you"ve a mighty smart bunch of dogs there, m"lord!"
_n.o.ble but crusty M.F.H._ "Then you guess wrong, sir. _This is a pack of hounds!_"
MUST BE HUNGRY
"Wish you"d feed your horse before he comes out."
"Eh--why--hang it!--what do you mean?"
"He"s always trying to eat my boots. He evidently thinks there"s some chance of getting at a little corn!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: THE RETORT COURTEOUS
(_A Reminiscence of the past Harrier Season_)
_Major Topknot, M.H._ (_to butcher"s boy_). "Hi! Hulloah! Have you seen my hare?"
_Butcher"s Boy._ "Ga-a-rn! "Ave you seen my whiskers?"]
DISINTERESTED KINDNESS
_Sportsman_ (_just come to grief, to Kindhearted Stranger who has captured horse_). "I say, I"m awfully obliged to you! I can get on all right, so please don"t wait!"
_Kindhearted Stranger._ "Oh, I"d rather, thanks! I want you to flatten the next fence for me!"
ENCOURAGING
_Nervous Man_ (_who hires his hunters_). "Know anything about this mare?
Ringbone tells me she"s as clever as a man!"