I wake up the next morning and decide I want to check out the so called cultivation tower. There"s always some cultivation tower or room or some kind of array that draws in the profound energy. Then you have the good rooms being used by the top cla.s.s people and the poor people get stuck with the outhouse next door to cultivate in. At the tops there is always some self ent.i.tled p.r.i.c.k who spends hours acting cool and jerking off to some ancient manual he found in some magical cave, that tells him if he cultivates it he will become a bit more than s.h.i.t in the real world but a complete G.o.d in some small unknown towns.
I mean really who has enough time to actually build up a place they are going to die in and just leave behind things. I"m sure there"s maybe like 1 or 2 who do that but in stories there"s always 1 around every corner and there isn"t anything really ever good in them.
Oh I found the tomb of an ancient cultivating G.o.d what"s inside you ask? Some basic currency and old moldy pills to boost my cultivation by two levels or so.
The manuals? Why yes I got one that was not fully complete it must be what he cultivated! I"ll start practicing it later today I mean it"s not like it"s hard to change from one technique to another and I"m a genius I can surely figure out how to finish this manual.
G.o.dly items? Yes I got an empty spatial ring with a mysterious stone inside it that spews bulls.h.i.t in my ear about being a spiritual item. I also got a broken sword that was being used as a doorstop everyone missed it must be a legendary item!
10 outta 10 times that f.u.c.king idiot is using an actual doorstop as a weapon and he just completely ruined his cultivation or poisoned himself taking random a.s.s pills he found laying around.
sure enough as soon as I get to cultivation tower I"m surrounded by some guys with punchable looking faces. "Who do you think you are to be shone around the school by the princess? I"m the number 1 student of this academy and I"m telling you to stay away from her as she"s mine!"
"Are you bullying me?" I ask with a frightened look.
"So what if I am? I"m number 1 on the rankings what can a weakling like you who got in with a recommendation do? You think the school elders will even listen to you if you say anything over me "insert villain name"?!?!"
"I see, I will gladly comply with all your requests. will you also like my cultivation resources too?" I ask holding out some s.h.i.tty pills I got earlier.
"Of course and since your being so obedient I"ll offer you my protection!" he says walking over with his buddies to take my stuff.
Instantly I grab him by the face and plant him in the f.u.c.king ground followed by all his friends. I"m gunna grow me a f.u.c.king dumba.s.s orchard today boys! more of them just keep coming out of the tower at the sounds of battle. I"ve got auto loot on and my squirtle watering canteen out. soon elders come out too and try to defend their prized pupils. What"s a good orchard without some old trees in it boys?!? "Do you know who I...." *Waboom* ancient dumba.s.s tree planted.
"You"ll regret this I"m the head of the punish...." *Fwwooosh* Authority tree planted to keep the peace!
Finally the princess and the chief of the school come out.
"What"s going on here?!" she asks looking at the dangling legs of my newly planted forest.
"I"m being bullied and I can"t handle pressure it makes me want to tend my garden. I"ve planted a thriving dumba.s.s orchard. In a few years I"ll have a full grown dumba.s.s forest. I love planting things." I hand her a canteen and proceed to water my new crops. She just looks at the palace chief and shrugs helping me water.
Bullies are bad okay? If you let bullying happen just because someone is a prized student and you don"t want to lose them that just makes you more of a c.u.n.t. Just smack some f.u.c.king common sense into them.
"When my father hears about this!" one shouts from a hole.
"Malfoy?!?" I apparently didn"t plant it deep enough I step on his crotch and push him farther in the ground.
I look over at the palace chief. "You guys really should have some type of basic manners and common sense cla.s.ses. I mean if I get in with a recommendation that either means I know important people or I"m exceptionally strong. why would any dumba.s.s go out of his way to make problems? either you offend someone powerful or you offend someone politically powerful." I just shake my head and spread some nice dung based fertilizer from the gate on my new friends.
I made sure there were enough cracks to breath out of.
"if any of you so much as move from this spot I"ll break all your limbs and let you learn the life of a true earthworm which involves making use of this nice fertilizer as your next meal. I want you to sit there and think about this one simple thing. Why you decided to be a c.u.n.t. I mean that"s pretty easy to avoid, just don"t be a c.u.n.t."
I head up the tower being watched by some others who were clapping. the tower uses the basic array to absorb energy and the higher up you get the better the energy you recieve. dunno why they didn"t just make more arrays. I feel if I put some of these in the realm my other body would most likely explode from over saturation.