My Sister The Villainess

**********

"CATCH THAT RAT b.a.s.t.a.r.d RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!!"

Okay, see, that was rude. And also not something one wanted to hear when you were carrying two girls over your shoulder like they were sacks of potatoes.

Especially not when one of them was a Princess. And when you were in the middle of kidn-er, liberating her from an abusive household.

"f.u.c.k you," I grumbled. "This Daddy"s parents were married when I was born."

"I don"t think he heard you. Maybe we should stop and explain it to him in more detail? Yes? Please?" The Prince asked.

"Shut up and keep running." I kicked his rear, urging him forward.

"...Yessir." He sniffled. Poor boy. I"m sorry, I didn"t mean to snap at you. But we gotta go, understand? So shut up and run!

"SOMEONE HEL--!"

"No talking!" I promptly smacked the rump of this ungrateful daughter of mine when she tried to call out. It was awkwardly done since I had Dolly in the other arm but it got the job done so it"s fine. "Just be quiet and let me help you!"

Stockholm syndrome is a scary thing, isn"t it? She even wanted to stay with her abusers! Such a tragic scene, it brought tears to the eyes.

"I don"t want your--Ack!" She hissed in pain, probably having bit her own tongue.

"See, that"s what happens to little girls who don"t listen to their Papa!"

"You, are not my Papa." She said more slowly, insisting upon each word.

"Ku." I grunted. " Such painful words exist? Papa is so sad you can even say something like that. I love you, you know? Why are you so mean to Papa? Is this what they call the rebellious phase?"

They grow up so fast! Papa is really very sad, you hear me?!

"But don"t worry. Even if you don"t want my help, your Papa here will give it freely!" I ignored the heartache and sustained myself purely on my love for my child.

"You"re not my Papa!" She repeated. "I have a father already!"

I paid her no mind. "In this day and age, a child can have two fathers!"

"Since when?!" She asked sourly. "Oh nevermind, just let me down already!" She started to beat on my back with two tiny little hands. It felt quite pleasant, actually.

"Day, I"m not feeling so good." Dolly spoke up at last. She was obediently laying face-down over my shoulder.

"Um, okay. Let"s rest for a bit."

Just then. "THERE THEY ARE! I SEE THEM!" Some young a.s.shole in a suit barred our way.

I shoved two fingers in his eyes. "You didn"t see anything!" And knocked him out.

"Oh, G.o.ds." The Prince exclaimed. "You"ve blinded Kenny!"

Kenny?

"Well, s.h.i.t, with a name like that he"s lucky he ain"t dead. And he"s even wearing a red vest. Does he WANT to be seen as expendable?"

"Darn." I heard Charlotte say. "He had the best eyesight amongst the Palace"s novice bowmen." It"s probably a bit worse after that, I"d reckon. I used my left hand, after all. "His father is even the Royal Bowmaster! He was such a strong candidate for being my first disciple. How is the name of Master Charlotte supposed spread if she doesn"t have a suitable disciple to gain her honor and fame? What is she to do now?"

"Stop talking in the third person, for starters." But it was cute. And y"all know this Papa loves cute stuff. "Now. Where the heck are we?"

I put the girls down gently. I cut a glance towards the Prince, who was now breathing as hard as Charlotte was a while ago.

"Let"s see." The two Royals looked around. "Hm..."

"I don"t recognize the area..."

"I think this is close to father"s study?"

"I"ve never been."

"Neither have I, but I followed him once and he definitely came this way. He vanished into one of the rooms and I lost him." Charlotte admitted, a little sheepishly.

"Do you think..."

And I lost interest.

I yawned and turned my gaze away, choosing instead to listen for anyone else nearby. The whole place was in an uproar since my little stunt and everyone was searching both high and low.

I was just about to pick the two girls up again to make my grand escape when I heard Charlotte yell out, "NOW!"

And she rushed me.

The Prince stayed put.

It wouldn"t have mattered if he went or not though. I easily dodged all of the Princess" swipes.

Then it just took a simple restraining technique to keep her down.

"Alex, you traitor!" She struggled, her voice full of bitterness.

"..."

She had no idea the kid was one of my loyal fans and would never raise an arm against me.

I didn"t blame her for the attempted a.s.sault. I only blamed the environment she grew up in for making her so wild as to turn against her own Papa.

I hugged her and patted her head soothingly. "It"s okay, Papa understands. There, there, calm down now." And sung her the song of my people. "Never gonna give you up..."

The girl was in tears. "To be treated as a child....such humiliation...."

"....Well, this is fine." The Prince laughed, though it sounded a bit hollow.

"Day, I"m tired." Dolly swayed drowsily.

Oh c.r.a.p. That"s right, this one always puts her to sleep.

"Dolly, no. It"s not nappy time right now! Stay awake, okay?" I felt like my speech was gradually turning more and more childish as time went on. Or rather it sounded like I was using child-speak more often.

"M"kay." She stifled a yawn and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Hey...." Charlotte, having finally escaped my grasp, spoke up. "I"ve been wondering for a while now, but what the heck is she wearing?"

"Oh?" I raised a brow. "Why, you like it? It"s cute, right? You want one too?"

To explain, Dolly wasn"t wearing actual "clothes" right now, per se. In fact, she was really wearing a onesie I"d made her.

It was very soft, with a hood that had fluffy bunny ears attached to it. The pure-white cloth matched perfectly with Dolly"s golden locks. Matched with her sleepy expression, the innocence and holy cuteness she exuded was almost too much to bear.

She was a shorty too, so she looked a bit younger than she actually was. Made you wanna lift her up and give her a big squeeze.

"What? No. Of course not." She turned away. "But if there"s one with a dragon design..."

"What"s that?" I pretended to not hear.

"Huh? I didn"t say anything." She waved a hand. " But Alex would probably like it. You should get him one." A nod. " Preferably a dragon-styled one. Blue."

I couldn"t help pinching her cheeks. "Anything for Papa"s little angel~"

"I"ll bite you to death, understand?"

"Simply adorable." I tsked.

She sighed. "Look, I know I"m cute." She said, so casually arrogant. "But please control yourself. No matter what, I"m a Princess. I ask that you keep my position in mind and not be so forward with your skinship in the future."

"Do other Princesses threaten to bite people to death?" Alex muttered. "She wasn"t like this before, was she?"

"Quiet, traitor." Charlotte glared. She stopped. "Wait, you might have a point there..."

They both looked at me.

"What?"

"...Frightening." They whispered to each other. "Truly fitting of a former Demon King."

"His dark aura that is capable of corrupting even the purest of souls...it"s so subtle. I almost fell victim without even noticing." Charlotte gulped.

"It"s horrifying beyond measure." Alex agreed. "We must watch ourselves in the future."

Charlotte"s eyes grew sharper.

" A Demon King is rarer than a dragon, right...?"

Oi. Don"t you point those predatory eyes at your own Papa!

She shook her head, obviously having thought about something just then. "No. It"s too soon. I must grow stronger. A mere bow cannot fell a monster such as this. Patience, patience..."

Did she seriously think I couldn"t hear? Wait, she"s just thinking aloud again, isn"t she?! Even so...yes, even so...!

"I don"t want a daughter like you anymore!"

The words had cut deep. They were like frozen blades to the gut. My poor little heart couldn"t take it. The scars would last for eternity.

Even though I loved her so much, she wants to make a trophy out of her own flesh and blood!

Well fine! I don"t need such a cold, uncaring daughter anyway! This Daddy...won"t shed a single tear! Not...one...

"Hm? Day? Are you alright?" Dolly! My angel! At least you"d never abandon me! Probably.

"I"m fine." I nodded calmly.

"..." I saw her looking past me for a brief second. "Well, okay." She smiled.

My skin tingled.

Honestly, what a s.h.i.tty castle. Drafts everywhere up in this place, so cold!

(It was summer. )

"I hope you won"t continue trying to spirit us away, then?"

I snorted. "Of course. I, this big bro, won"t chase after a person who doesn"t care about me! If you want to cast your Papa aside and stay here then go ahead!"

"...It"s going to be tricky getting outta here." I thought to myself.

My kidnapping of the Prince and Princess was short-lived. But that was known only to the four of us present. Everyone else? Yeah. They still wanted a piece of this action.

Not good, my friends. Not good at all.

I clapped Alex"s shoulder. "Say, bro..."

"Please be gentle." He flinched.

The f.u.c.k?

"No, I--"

"Then, at least the face! At the very least, leave the face!"

"Oh you can just go suck turtle eggs."

This quivering mess wouldn"t help anyone. Actually, if the guards saw how miserable he looked they"d think I"d done something unforgivable to the kid.

Combining the words he"d said a moment ago, and how he was acting now, I gotta be honest: I was starting to think he wasn"t a fan after all.

But none of this mattered. Let"s not worry about escaping just yet.

"Okay Dolly, let"s explore."

"What? Where"re you going now?" Charlotte asked cautiously.

"When I started running I intended to take something outta this d.a.m.n Palace, and by golly that"s exactly what I"m gonna do. So, which way to the treasury?"

""...""

"Nevermind, we"ll find it ourselves." I suddenly raised my voice." Dolly! Atten-hut!"

It was like a flip was switched.

The little girl shed off her sleepiness in an instant and all but teleported to my side.

Her mouth formed a "^" and her eyes went dead serious.

"Aye, sir! Private Dahlia D. Claybrook, reporting for duty!" She saluted.

"Mission: Find the most valuable object in the Palace! You have twenty minutes. Alright, go!"

"HOO-AH!" She shouted.

And then ran off, a streak of white-gold lightning.

***

15 minutes later.

A well-lit room.

Prince: "Father?"

King: "Son?"

Me: "Milf?"

Queen: "Yes?"

Then, starry-eyed.

King: "...DAMIEN-SENSEI?!"