My Sister The Villainess

It wasn"t a warning, but a premonition, a premonition of change.

To explain, the entire Palace was in an uproar ever since the two children came back. Why, you might ask? Well...

How do you explain to the King that his daughter, after a single visit to the house of her future brother and sister-in-law, had been insisting on attending morning practice with the Royal Guards?!

Every day, for a month straight, the little girl had been running with them in formation. At one point, she even tried running with them while they grouped up in a line and carried logs on their shoulders to increase their arm strength.

She was too short, though. So when they picked up the log, she was dangling in the air with her little feet swaying in the wind. She forced them to keep jogging despite her clinging for dear life!

At the end she collapsed face-first on a pile of dirt and sent the knights into a worried frenzy!

The young Ladies she usually hung out with looked at her as if she"d grown another head, completely baffled.

All this began the very day she returned, when she surprised everyone by showing up at the training yard, behind the castle, and trying--but failing--to pull back the drawstring of a bow.

Everyone had only one thought: That Damien brat must"ve done something unspeakable to her!

"What vile mystics did that devil cast upon our Princess?!" The Ladies and Lords present at court collectively shuddered, watching their Princess drag a sandbag twice her size down the track.

Famous doctors were invited.

"She"s fine though?"

They lost all credibility.

Mages came from all four corners of the kingdom.

"She"s fine though?"

They were thrown out.

This went on for another two weeks and many professionals got beaten up by the residents of the Castle for their inability to explain just what was going on. Or more like, no one liked their answers.

This kept happening until one day an old hermit from the mountains came down, entirely of his own free will. Not at all captured in the dead of night and threatened at knifepoint.

"She fine th--?" He stopped abruptly. Cleared his throat. "Yup. Cursed. Definitely. The spirits never lie." And lied his a.s.s off.

"I knew it!" Everyone shouted furiously, promptly putting away their blades.

The hermit ignored the condemning looks of his little spirit friends.

After getting the full story from the others, finding out the playboy rumours about that brat, Damien, and hearing how the Princess suddenly changed after meeting him the...yeah, the old hermit had theories of his own.

"The kid probably said he likes strong women?" He wondered.

"Master Hermit, please, tell us how to reverse this despicable curse!" They begged.

The hermit coughed. "...."

He held his hand out suggestively.

"..."

The shameless old swindl--ahem.

The wise middle-aged hermit came into possession of many treasures that day, bled from the hands of elderly n.o.blemen with soft hearts for the little girl they thought of as a granddaughter.

"You"re gonna have to bring him in." He said. Who? The boy, obviously.

"And beat him up?" One portly n.o.ble asked. His moustache acted like a second smile.

"Within an inch of his life." The hermit nodded sagely, thinking that if the Princess was too busy taking care of the kid she"d be far less concerned with whatever muscle training. And he"s the one who disturbed his time spying on pretty young housewives using astral proj--ahem.

He"s the one who caused the disturbance of the hermit"s beauty sleep. Yeah.

Why shouldn"t he take a little punishment for his sins?

As soon as he said the words....

The maids, the butlers, the n.o.blemen. Everyone cheered!

Everyone except the older knights present, who suddenly developed headaches. Meanwhile their new recruits, young and arrogant geniuses of their generation, still fresh out of the Academy that"d always lavished them with praise to no end, had no idea.

Their mentors did, but not they.

....Which kid was it who even Sir Kane, that legendary former First Sword of the Martial Empire, called a freak among freaks?

***

"Day, it"s your turn." Dolly reminded.

"Ah, right, sorry. Shota to A3." I said, not even paying attention.

"Roll the dice."

"I know." I gently knocked her on the head. Hmph, who was it who came up with the game in the first place?

"One 5 and a 4. Score over 8. I can Age up. I choose Shota. Piece changed to Bishounen. "

I idly replaced the piece with another.

"Draw your card."

"Hmm...Lets get a Characteristic card...Oh, nice! Characteristic: Older brother. Special ability, draw one Status card. Status changed to Harem Protagonist."

Pretty good. It"s one of the strongest pieces now. Almost nothing can beat it. With Older brother and Harem Protagonist together it was able to resist Seduction no matter how high the opposing piece"s value.

Meanwhile Older brother meant it tamed nearly any pieces younger than it.

The match is mine.

"My turn. " She rolled. "Two 1s." Really bad. Either she had to discard one piece or Age Down a piece.

Sadly she"ll have to sacrifice some power to keep the same number of pieces on the board.

"I choose Milf. Piece changed to Busty Nee-san. Draw card. Status changed to Yandere Nee-san. Using her special skill, I roll again." Dolly grew excited."Age down." Her voice quivered.

Resignation?

"I choose Yandere Nee-san. Piece changed to Loli."

One of the weakest starter pieces. Shame.

"Hidden special effect, aging down from Yandere Nee-san changes Status of Loli to Yandere Loli. Hidden special effect, the presence of Older Brother on the field changes Yandere Loli to Yandere Imouto."

Say what now?

"Yandere Imouto to A3."

Did anyone else just feel a chill?

"You lost, Day!"

It was pretty cold all of a sudden, wasn"t it?

Also, I was floored

What a s.h.i.tty game!

Just as I was going to flip the table, a messanger arrived.

Ten minutes later.

...Invitation to the Palace, huh? Sounds fun.

Dolly was leaning over my shoulder.

"Wanna come?" I asked her. "That fiance of yours is gonna be there."

This was the perfect chance for Dolly to earn some brownie points with the Prince!

But that sister of mine didn"t seem to care at all.

"My friend? Alex is?" She questioned. I nodded.

"Yup."

"Alright. I guess."

"Great. I"ll let father and mother know."

By which I meant I"ll be leaving a note.

***

Some hours later, on the road to the Capital City.

Bandits: "Get out here, demon sp.a.w.n! We"ve come to f.u.c.k up your day!"

Me: "...You want a.n.a.l ****? Cuz that"s how you get a.n.a.l ****."

Another hour later.

More bandits: "So you got past them, but now you"ve gotta deal with us!"

Me: "Your a.s.s is gra.s.s, noobs."

On the bridge leading to the Capital City.

Beefy boi ruffians: "Nice carriage, kid. It"s ours now."

Me: *Throwing a pile of gold on the floor* "Someone knock these fatties off the bridge."

In the city.

A group of young knights: "So you made it this far. We underestimated you. But your reign of terror ends here, devil."

Me: "I should"ve shot you lot into the wall instead of your mothers" legs."

***

Me, several b.i.t.c.h-slaps later.

"Faster, knave." I kicked. "Hiyah!"

"Bas..tard..." A choked sob. "Just kill us already!"

"Demon! You have no soul!"

"The G.o.ds will punish you for this!"

"Can I at least have my pants back?"

I glowered at the complaining knights. Currently they were stripped down to their undies and wearing red faces as the surrounding people stopped and pointed, whispering amongst themselves.

The image of several brawny young men being treated like horses by a shota and a loli would mark this day as one to remember. And be an eternal stain on their careers.

"Shut up and move your legs!" I barked harshly. I turned to Dolly. "Remember, this is all for the sake of their training. You mustn"t go easy on them."

"Don"t worry, Day. I know." She smiled. "Alright. Lets go, maggots." She used a whip and spurred the men onwards.

I may have told her that these men were doing intense endurance training and asked us to a.s.sist them.

As for the maggot thing, it was her verbal tic acting up again. d.a.m.n Vee.

"Don"t worry, maggots. We"ll train you up good!" Dolly pat one of the knight"s shoulders enthusiastically. "Day, can we get a few sandbags? I think I"m too light, I can"t help them at all like this!"

What a little genius! Truly my own flesh and blood.

I, of course, obliged.

Ignoring their pitiful cries, each man got two sandbags tied to their waist.

"There, there, maggots. You can do it. Only a few more miles. I believe in you!" Dolly encouraged.

I was feeling very happy all of a sudden.

***

The doors to the Palace burst open.

"FLYING FALCON KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!!!!"

My happy mood ended as soon as more young knights showed up at the gates leading to the Palace Grounds.

After many smacks across the b.u.t.tcheeks in front of their fellow men, I finally understood.

This wasn"t a invite to chill at the Palace, this was a devious trap!

And after hearing how the men who planned it all were waiting for the knights to bring me in all hog-tied, I decided I needed a little venting.

So as soon as the old fogeys came into view, their faces twisted in malicious intent, chuckling madly to themselves, I launched my favorite attack.

And BAM!

A fat old n.o.bleman was knocked the f.u.c.k out.

"Alright kiddies, your G.o.d has just arrived and he"s fresh outta mercy!"

One of the guys shouted. "Little brat, this isn"t your playground! You"re far from your father"s protection so don"t think you can come here and act so arro--!"

"BEGONE, THOT!" I hurled a stinky shoe at his mouth, knocking him back.

Seriously, f.u.c.k this guy.

"I"m the King"s big bro! I can do as I d.a.m.n well please!" Oh. Sorry. Future King"s Big Bro, I should"ve said. But whatever. "Wanna set ME up, do you? d.a.m.n b.a.s.t.a.r.ds. You gon" learn today."

....And as soon as I said that, a swarm of guards surrounded me.

Luckily, I"d left Dolly outside.

I didn"t want her to see what I was gonna do.

"Guards! Arrest this intruder right now!"

"Intruder? What bulls.h.i.t! You"re the ones who invited me!"

"Prove it!" They yelled back.

"You also sent people to attack me!"

"Prove it!"

"Complete and utter bullies!" I trembled with rage. Then I paused, feeling a mysterious pressure all of a sudden.

I spotted a half dozen older-looking knights off to the corner chewing on chicken legs.

They gave off a really bad vibe. Like, strong. Really strong. Honestly I didn"t know if I could take "em. In comparison these younger folk were basically dogs with their b.a.l.l.s chopped off.

But they were just standing there. Why?

"Oi."

"Yeah?" One of them asked.

"...You"re not gonna fight?"

"Eh." He shrugged. "Nah. We"re good."

No f.u.c.ks were given.

"Seriously?"

"Hey man, we"re just here to watch the show."

And they did.

They even saved me a leg.

***

A half hour later all the guards had their pants down, the n.o.blemen were stripped bare, and everyone was covered in mayo.

In my hands I held a rather persuasive drawing that I"d kindly asked them to sign before beating them up.

"I won"t get in trouble for this, right?" I asked after the fact, as if I really cared.

"Nah, you"re good. These old fogeys set this up themselves and the young"uns signed themselves on unasked. Actually, they"re all still in training. Even those guards are just fresh recruits in disguise. No way these guys will report any of this, you know?"

"That"s good." I yawned.

"I"m sure," One of the knights began with a chuckle. "That they"ll be more humble in the future."

"Obnoxious p.i.s.sants. Getting beat up by a 14 year old kid is bound to drop them down a peg or two."

"It"ll be a lot easier to keep them in line too. All we"d gotta do is remind them of that picture and they"ll beg for harder work. I wonder if I should ask those old misers for a raise as well?"

It wasn"t really a great feat, though, beating them up.

They were pretty good for commoners but n.o.ble children had better upbringing and that meant better foundations. Some had training in magic while others, like me, specialized in combat and had been trained by experts since young.

They may have been "geniuses" but they weren"t as strong as a few n.o.ble kids I knew.

In this world it seemed there was a large gap between the abilities of n.o.bles and commoners.

I mean it was a game world so that was sorta a given. Of course the n.o.bles would have better specs. Half the capture targets were top-tier swordsmen or mages, after all, and obviously the intended audience liked the idea of having a strong, rich dude fawn over them.

The other half were commoners that were exceptional too. Either really good-looking or really wealthy. The others? Yeah, normal as f.u.c.k. Weak too.

It really was a harsh bias. The devs had to have been an all-woman team. If you weren"t pretty or rich you were just another mob with trashy stats.

"What"s my age gotta do with it, huh? You wanna throw down too old man?"

"Grow some hair on your chest before you start talkin" s.h.i.t to me, brat. I"ll destroy you."

"Bet." I said.

"Day." Dolly called out from behind a closed door. "Let"s go. I"m bored."

"Saved by the loli. Alright. Whatever. Hey, you guys know where the Prince is?"

"Oh, he"ll be at the back with the Princess. She"s been there training, all day every day, ever since she came back from your place. Don"t know what"s gotten into her. But it breaks the heart seeing her like this." One of them sighed.

Training? That"s all? You"re talking like she"s being bullied or something. Calm down dude.

But at that time I still had no idea just how weak the Princess truly was.

***

"Lottie."

"I"m...Okay...."

"But..."

"Don"t mind me....keep....going..." She huffed.

"No, but you"ll die, you know?"

"Dragon Slayer Charlotte...isn"t daunted....by something....of only.... this level." Each word was a bitter struggle, it seemed. "...This is nothing..."

"But--"

"Just keep counting!" She finally snapped.

The Prince"s face went blank. "Fine then!" He folded his arms angrily. "I won"t care anymore!"

I watched on as the little girl strained hard to push herself up. Her arms quivered. Her face dripped with sweat, pale and red at the same time. She looked on the verge of death.

But the fires of determination still burned hot in her eyes! She refused to give up! Her soul wouldn"t accept defeat!

Nice going, kid. I respect you more now.

I watched quietly for a few more moments, admiring her sheer force of will.

"Okay!" Her body hit the floor, completing that one final push. Her great, heaving breaths were surprisingly loud. "How many was that?"

"Three."

Just how out of shape are you?!

Gimme back my appreciation!

"Great!" But the girl in question was excited. "That"s one and a half more than I was able to do a week ago!"

It took you a week to get it up by one and a half?! How long had you been stuck at one?!

"Alright, let"s get the weights now. I think I can do ten."

Well. Ten pounds aren"t too bad for her age...I guess....

Dolly could do thirty though...

" I know what you"re thinking. Keep watchin"." Sir Jerome said, one of the earlier knights who led me here as an escort.

And then I saw it.

"One...two...three...four...."

IT WAS A f.u.c.kING ONE POUND WEIGHT!

And the Prince had to spot her!

"Five....Alright I"m done."

What? Already? Didn"t you say you were gonna do ten?

"I can already feel newfound strength coursing throw my veins. The pleasant burn of a good workout... Hm. Truly a natural high. Time for some milk." Someone brought her a gla.s.s. She sipped it elegantly. " Ugh, I wish I could put honey in it. But no, I have to resist." I saw her clench her fist. "Cheer up, me. Remember why you"re doing this. Your body is a temple. You have to keep it healthy! No honey! None! Raw milk is best! Yeah...that"s right...." Was it just me or did I hear a sob just then?

And what the h.e.l.l is "raw milk"? Why"re you saying it like it"s so important you drink it plain? Would it make any difference? I don"t know if it works for anything or not, but don"t people drink raw eggs instead when they wanna get fit?

What"s with this weak, pansy a.s.s non-honeyed-milk bulls.h.i.t you"re spouting?

Actually though that does sound pretty good, honey in milk. I should try it.

The two ingredients made me think about rice pudding all of a sudden.

"Day."

"I know, Dolly."

"She"s...."

"Don"t say it."

"...A brisk wind could kill her..."

It was such a sad truth.

Okay, alright, it was an exaggeration. But still, the girl"s muscles really were like meat jelly.

"She used to be a pretty sickly child." Jerome commented.

He was an aging knight with a salt-and-pepper beard cut close to the jaw.

"Is that why...?"

"Yeah."

I frowned.

"How bad?"

He glanced at Dolly. "...Well, a brisk wind could"ve killed her."

"Seriously?"

"The tiniest of colds left her bed-ridden for weeks. Even a stuffy nose was deadly. She could suffocate on that alone."

Jesus Christ.

"She"s better now though, right?"

"She is." He said tentatively. "But as you can see, she"s not exactly a picture of health."

"That she isn"t." I agreed.

Aaaand now I felt sorry for the girl. It only lasted a minute.

I realized that a large part of this, at least now, was just her own status as a Princess. She"d probably been coddled way too much and her already weak body would"ve gotten even weaker because she"d never had to do any strenuous activities herself.

"Say, what"s her diet like?"

"She"s partial to cakes."

"And?"

"She likes to eat soup."

"...That"s it?"

"Basically, yeah."

"That"s really it, nothing else?"

"No."

"What else then?"

"Ah, no. I meant no, as in yes. "

"Huh?"

"I mean that"s it?" He was getting annoyed now.

That aside, I nearly kicked the man right in the shins. "Mein Gott!" I was so angry I switched languages. "You can"t let a kid just eat cakes and soups! Son of a b.i.t.c.h, no wonder she"s weak, she"s malnourished as f.u.c.k! She needs some f.u.c.king MEAT, you a.s.sholes!"

"But she doesn"t like meat." He said it so matter-of-factly that I almost pa.s.sed out with rage.

"WHO f.u.c.kING CARES?!?! THAT"S NOT THE G.o.dd.a.m.n POINT! WHO"RE THE ADULTS HERE, HUH?!" I screamed, thoroughly p.i.s.sed off.

This was basically child abuse! Neglect! This kid was being spoiled to the point she was literally rotting from the inside out!

"Listen here, a.s.shat, little girls need their nutrients! Proteins! Vitamins! Minerals! How the fudge do you expect a child to grow big and strong when their bodies aren"t getting the d.a.m.n things it needs to build itself up?!" I roared. " What "pleasant burn"? That"s her body eating what muscles she already has just to sustain itself! Why"re you letting her workout? Do you WANT to kill her?!"

"But--"

"Shuddap!"

I smacked the back of his fool head.

I was already gone by the time he registered what I"d done.

"Oi, girl!"

Charlotte turned a stunned gaze my way. "Damien? What"re you doing h--?"

"Nevermind that!" I cut her off. " Let"s go! This pigsty is no place for a child. From now on I"m adopting you as my daughter. Now come along. Foster Father here will bring you home and cook you a nice dinner. After that, I"ll read you a story and put you to bed."

"...Say what now?"