Be a.s.sured, however, we offer up constant prayers for you, and if ever the day come that brings you liberty, it will be celebrated by all our family, like one of the happiest festivals."
The first-mentioned of these ladies had a remarkably sweet and soothing voice, united to an eloquence rarely to be heard from the lips of woman. I listened to her religious exhortations with a feeling of filial grat.i.tude, and they sunk deep into my heart.
Though her observations were not new to me, they were always applicable, and most valuable to me, as will appear from what follows:
"Misfortune cannot degrade a man, unless he be intrinsically mean; it rather elevates him."--"If we could penetrate the judgments of G.o.d, we should find that frequently the objects most to be pitied were the conquerors, not the conquered; the joyous rather than the sorrowful; the wealthy rather than those who are despoiled of all."- -"The particular kindness shown by the Saviour of mankind to the unfortunate is a striking fact."--"That man ought to feel honoured in bearing the cross, when he considers that it was borne up the mount of our redemption by the Divinity himself in human form."
Such were among the excellent sentiments she inculcated; but it was my lot, as usual, to lose these delightful friends when I had become most attached to them. They removed from the castle, and the sweet children no longer made their appearance upon the terrace. I felt this double deprivation more than I can express.
CHAPTER LXVII.
The inconvenience I experienced from the chain upon my legs, which prevented me from sleeping, destroyed my health. Schiller wished me to pet.i.tion, declaring that it was the duty of the physician to order it to be taken off. For some time I refused to listen to him, I then yielded, and informed the doctor that, in order to obtain a little sleep, I should be thankful to have the chain removed, if only for a few days. He answered that my fever was not yet so bad as to require it; and that it was necessary I should become accustomed to the chain. I felt indignant at this reply, and more so at myself for having asked the favour. "See what I have got by following your advice," said I to Schiller; and I said it in a very sharp tone, not a little offensive to the old man.
"You are vexed," he exclaimed, "because you met with a denial; and I am as much so with your arrogance! Could I help it?" He then began a long sermon. "The proud value themselves mightily in never exposing themselves to a refusal, in never accepting an offer, in being ashamed at a thousand little matters. Alle eselen, a.s.ses as they all are. Vain grandeur, want of true dignity, which consists in being ashamed only of bad actions!" He went off, and made the door ring with a tremendous noise.
I was dismayed; yet his rough sincerity scarcely displeased me. Had he not spoken the truth? to how many weaknesses had I not given the name of dignity! the result of nothing but pride.
At the dinner hour Schiller left my fare to the convict Kunda, who brought me some water, while Schiller stood outside. I called him.
"I have no time," he replied, very drily.
I rose, and going to him, said, "If you wish my dinner to agree with me, pray don"t look so horribly sour; it is worse than vinegar."
"And how ought I to look?" he asked, rather more appeased.
"Cheerful, and like a friend," was my reply.
"Let us be merry, then! Viva l"allegria!" cried the old man. "And if it will make your dinner agree with you, I will dance you a hornpipe into the bargain." And, a.s.suming a broad grin, he set to work with his long, lean, spindle shanks, which he worked about like two huge stilts, till I thought I should have died with laughing. I laughed and almost cried at the same time.
CHAPTER LXVIII.
One evening Count Oroboni and I were standing at our windows complaining of the low diet to which we were subjected. Animated by the subject, we talked a little too loud, and the sentinels began to upbraid us. The superintendent, indeed, called in a loud voice to Schiller, as he happened to be pa.s.sing, inquiring in a threatening voice why he did not keep a better watch, and teach us to be silent?
Schiller came in a great rage to complain of me, and ordered me never more to think of speaking from the window. He wished me to promise that I would not.
"No!" replied I; "I shall do no such thing."
"Oh, der Teufel; der Teufel!" {26} exclaimed the old man; "do you say that to me? Have I not had a horrible strapping on your account?"
"I am sorry, dear Schiller, if you have suffered on my account. But I cannot promise what I do not mean to perform."
"And why not perform it?"
"Because I cannot; because this continual solitude is such a torment to me. No! I will speak as long as I have breath, and invite my neighbour to talk to me. If he refuse I will talk to my window- bars, I will talk to the hills before me, I will talk to the birds as they fly about. I will talk!"
"Der Teufel! you will! You had better promise!"
"No, no, no! never!" I exclaimed.
He threw down his huge bunch of keys, and ran about, crying, "Der Teufel! der Teufel!" Then, all at once, he threw his long bony arms about my neck: "By -, and you shall talk! Am I to cease to be a man because of this vile mob of keys? You are a gentleman, and I like your spirit! I know you will not promise. I would do the same in your place."
I picked up his keys and presented them to him. "These keys," said I, "are not so bad after all; they cannot turn an honest soldier, like you, into a villainous sgherro."
"Why, if I thought they could, I would hand them back to my superiors, and say, "If you will give me no bread but the wages of a hangman, I will go and beg alms from door to door.""
He took out his handkerchief, dried his eyes, and then, raising them, seemed to pray inwardly for some time. I, too, offered up my secret prayers for this good old man. He saw it, and took my hand with a look of grateful respect.
Upon leaving me he said, in a low voice, "When you speak with Count Oroboni, speak as I do now. You will do me a double kindness: I shall hear no more cruel threats of my lord superintendent, and by not allowing any remarks of yours to be repeated in his ear, you will avoid giving fresh irritation to ONE who knows how to punish."
I a.s.sured him that not a word should come from either of our lips which could possibly give cause of offence. In fact, we required no further instructions to be cautious. Two prisoners desirous of communication are skilful enough to invent a language of their own, without the least danger of its being interpreted by any listener.
CHAPTER LXIX.
I had just been taking my morning"s walk; it was the 7th of August.
Oroboni"s dungeon door was standing open; Schiller was in it, and he was not sensible of my approach. My guards pressed forward in order to close my friend"s door, but I was too quick for them; I darted into the room, and the next moment found myself in the arms of Count Oroboni.
Schiller was in dismay, and cried out "Der Teufel! der Teufel!" most vigorously, at the same time raising his finger in a threatening att.i.tude. It was in vain, for his eyes filled with tears, and he cried out, sobbing, "Oh, my G.o.d! take pity on these poor young men and me; on all the unhappy like them, my G.o.d, who knows what it is to be so very unhappy upon earth!" The guards, also, both wept; the sentinel on duty in the gallery ran to the spot, and even he caught the infection.
"Silvio! Silvio!" exclaimed the Count, "this is the most delightful day of my life!" I know not how I answered him; I was nearly distracted with joy and affection.
When Schiller at length beseeched us to separate, and it was necessary we should obey, Oroboni burst into a flood of tears. "Are we never to see each other again upon earth?" he exclaimed, in a wild, prophetic tone.
Alas! I never saw him more! A very few months after this parting, his dungeon was empty, and Oroboni lay at rest in the cemetery, on which I looked out from my window!
From the moment we had met, it seemed as if the tie which bound us were drawn closer round our hearts; and we were become still more necessary to each other.
He was a fine young man, with a n.o.ble countenance, but pale, and in poor health. Still, his eyes retained all their l.u.s.tre. My affection for him was increased by a knowledge of his extreme weakness and sufferings. He felt for me in the same manner; we saw by how frail a tenure hung the lives of both, and that one must speedily be the survivor.
In a few days he became worse; I could only grieve and pray for him.
After several feverish attacks, he recovered a little, and was even enabled to resume our conversations. What ineffable pleasure I experienced on hearing once more the sound of his voice! "You seem glad," he said, "but do not deceive yourself; it is but for a short time. Have the courage to prepare for my departure, and your virtuous resolution will inspire me also with courage!"
At this period the walls of our prison were about to be whitewashed, and meantime we were to take up our abode in the caverns below.
Unfortunately they placed us in dungeons apart from each other. But Schiller told me that the Count was well; though I had my doubts, and dreaded lest his health should receive a last blow from the effects of his subterranean abode. If I had only had the good fortune, thought I, to be near my friend Maroncelli; I could distinguish his voice, however, as he sung. We spoke to each other, spite of the shouts and conversation of the guards. At the same period, the head physician of Brunn paid us a visit. He was sent in consequence of the report made by the superintendent in regard to the extreme ill health of the prisoners from the scanty allowance of food. A s...o...b..tic epidemic was already fast emptying the dungeons.
Not aware of the cause of his visit, I imagined that he came to see Oroboni, and my anxiety was inexpressible; I was bowed down with sorrow, and I too wished to die. The thought of suicide again tormented me. I struggled, indeed; but I felt like the weary traveller, who though compelled to press forward, feels an almost irresistible desire to throw himself upon the ground and rest.
I had been just informed that in one of those subterranean dens an aged Bohemian gentleman had recently destroyed himself by beating his head against the walls. I wish I had not heard it; for I could not, do what I would, banish the temptation to imitate him. It was a sort of delirium, and would most probably have ended in suicide, had not a violent gush of blood from my chest, which made me think that death was close at hand, relieved me. I was thankful to G.o.d that it should happen in this manner, and spare me an act of desperation, which my reason so strongly condemned. But Providence ordered it otherwise; I found myself considerably better after the discharge of blood from my lungs. Meantime, I was removed to the prison above, and the additional light, with the vicinity of my friend Oroboni, reconciled me to life.
CHAPTER LXX.