*FIVE HOURS LATER~*(Madara POV)
"..... Oh Kami... she"s insane...."
(Naruto POV)
"... what is she talking about...???"
(Kurama POV)
"Ugghhh mAkE iT ssSTOP....."
Xin Yue: "... and that"s why it"s known as "The Big Apple". "
I looked over at the uncultured b.u.ms shifting around on their aching a.r.s.es and smirked vengefully.
I paused and inhaled.
"FURTHERMORE..."
*TWO MORE HOURS LATER~*
(Madara POV)
"...I"m wakin up~ to ash and dust~~ I wipe my a*s and I slap my n*ts~ ugggghhh my head hurts..."
(Naruto POV)
"...zzz....zzzz...zzzzzz"
(Kurama POV)
*whimper whimper* "Ahh... the clouds are so blue today... why do thumbs exist?...what is the purpose of fingernails..."
Xin Yue: "... and that"s why ma.s.s-produced plastic is mess-inducing plastic. In other words, Naruto is in danger, and Madara is not an enemy. Understand?"
(Xin Yue POV)
I smirked. Eight hours of verbal torture should be plenty enough for them to learn their lesson.
As soon as I mentioned the main topic, Naruto woke up with the pop of a snot bubble and Madara stopped banging his head against the ground.
"Ehh, Yui-neesan... how am I in danger? I"m really strong! Dattebayo!"
"Hmph. When was I ever the enemy?"
"...Naruto, in all seriousness, you aren"t strong enough yet. Madara... long story short, in my world, you were the antagonist. You actually were one of the BOSS enemies."
They both frowned discontentedly.
I sighed, "Look, I know I"m usually prancing around acting like a lunatic. But right now, I"m serious. I may be OP AF, but I ain"t gonna be the one fighting off "Lil Miss Princess Kaguya" while all my friends are dying. Canon may be sc.r.a.pped, but that doesn"t mean that this world is a game. Got it?"
Naruto crossed his arms and squinted. "Hmmm I don"t really get it, but it sounds pretty serious. What are we gonna do, nee-san?"
Whoa. Naruto"s actually starting to sound reasonable. ...I did not see that coming.
I glanced over at Madara and raised an eyebrow inquisitively.
"...what? Surely you don"t want ME to make a plan?"
"No, snideb.a.l.l.s. I"m just staring at the huge caterpillar on your head."
Madara froze and went pale.
"..."
"Oi, really? You, Madara Uchiha, have an insect phobia? With THAT hairstyle?" I cackled.
*glare*
Ah, he finally got it. Well, it"s not like he can deny it. His hairstyle really does look like a giant fluffy caterpillar.
"Back to the subject, what we"re gonna do is very simple. Come over here and sit; I"ll tell you guys the plan."
_____________________
*Meanwhile, at Konohagakure...*
"Thank you for your purchase! Please visit again!"
Kakashi walked out of a shop gloomily with some high-quality chakra metal.
"D*mn, that was expensive. Just these few chunks of chakra metal cleaned out half of my life savings... Luna better have a good reason for making me buy this."
He sighed weakly. Kakashi knew he couldn"t win against his adopted little sister. Not only in strength, but also in mind. Sure enough, lunatics were on a whole other level.
Obito has changed into less conspicuous clothing and was currently walking with Kakashi back to the Hatake household. He still wore a mask, obviously. Just not such an ominous-looking one.
He sympathized with Kakashi. "Oh, poor Kakashi. Her highness really is a terrifying person." *sigh*
After Xin Yue dragged a terrified and foamy-mouthed Obito back to Konoha on Onyx"s back and reunited the two old friends, it"s like everything that happened after his disappearance was just a bad dream. They went back to being best friends so easily; it"s like they were never enemies in the first place.
"Now for the hard part..."
Obito and Kakashi exchanged glances and sighed.
"Maybe we should just tell the Hokage what"s really going on... there"s no way we"ll be able to get his chakra otherwise."
Kakashi shook his head. "No, not yet. The less people that know, the better. Luna would also think so... probably. We"ll have to make a plan to try to get Hokage-sama"s chakra without raising suspicion."
Obito blinked. "... How about a "friendly spar"?"
The duo stopped to exchange glances. Two mischievous grins "didn"t" appear on the duo"s faces.
After all, both of them were wearing masks~~
__________________________
*Back at the battlecave...*
"... any questions about the plan?"
Naruto raised his hand, "Yeah! Uhhh... what"s a "andu-roidu"?"
I gave the knucklehead blondie a menacing grin. "Are you SURE you want to know???"
Naruto shivered. "N-no, no. I"m good..."
"Hehe. Well then, time for phase 2 of my new 18-phase... uhh that sounds familiar somehow. Forget it, time to go back to Konoha~"
Naruto jumped up and shouted, "YEAH! Finally! First thing imma do when I get back is go straight to Ichiraku!!!"
I smirked. "Oh? Are you now?"
Before the orange brat could retort, I was already gone.
Back at Konoha...
"You"re too many centuries too young to argue with me Naruto-kyun~~ Sorry but YOU"LL be staying in old caterpillar Madara"s battlecave for now. Take that time to learn some jutsu or something."
Suddenly, I cringed. "Ugh. Just don"t become his sidekick or anything. I don"t wanna have to start calling you "Orange Robin" or some cringy c.r.a.p like that..."
"Besides, wrong story."
Suddenly, I heard a scream coming from the direction of the Hokage"s office.
"Hmmm... sounds like nii-chan succeeded. And very musically at that. Nice~~"
A shadowy gust of wind and a silvery blur zoomed past me quickly. The next gust of wind wasn"t far behind...
"Oops~ time to go!"
I kamui-ed directly into Kakashi"s house and waited FIVE WHOLE MINUTES before the wind-twins finally burst through the front door.
"D*mn. We are so dead..."
"Don"t worry, Kakashi! We made it didn"t we? At most we WERE so dead... 30 seconds ago!"
I grinned evilly. "Hehe~ that"s not true, Obito-kun. There"s still time... unless you two hurry up and explain yerselves."
Ah, good. They shivered. That means they get it. *nod nod* I have raised them well~~
"So, speak. Why were you dead 30 seconds ago?"
"..."
"We got the chakra metal... and Hokage-sama"s chakra....."
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I nodded. "Good. Then?"
"...We couldn"t resist. Please don"t kill us. We"re sorry."
I raised an eyebrow. "Ooooh~ this sounds juicy. Ne, nii~san..."
I squinted at the wind twins as they shivered from a sudden temperature drop.
"...what exactly~ couldn"t you "resist"~~?"