(Kakashi POV)*sigh*
"…"
*siiiigh*
…From the day I found that angel-faced girl in the forest outside Konoha, I realized something.
She"s no angel.
Yes, that"s right. Luna Uzumaki is the reason for all my sighing lately. She"s… scary…
She"s a complete lunatic! And I think she knows it, too!
My life is h.e.l.l… *sob sob sob*
Don"t get me wrong! She brought Obito back to me, so I"m grateful to an extent.
…BUT SHE"LL PROBABLY END UP KILLING ME BEFORE I GET THE CHANCE TO REPAY HER TERRIFYING KINDNESS!!!
"…"
*sigh*
(End of Kakashi POV)
*Meanwhile, back at the battlecave…*
"Seems like everything is on track…" I mumbled.
Old man Madara and Naruto-kun were busy training… somehow I"m worried about them.
…Actually, aren"t they gonna end up killing each other…?
"DING! My queen, Sa.s.snugget is ready to be upgraded."
Oh? "Well it"s about time~"
"DING! …yes, my queen. That is correct. It"s time. Please prepare for the upgrade."
Tch. No fun~
"Fine, fine… I"m almost done. Gimme another 10 seconds or so~"
"DING! Affirmative. Beginning countdown. Ten, nine, eight, seve— "
"YYYYOSH! It"s finally finished!!!"
"DING! …how rude."
Naruto came bounding over excitedly with a shriveled zombie trudging after him.
"Huh, looks like Naruto"s victory. Sorry bout that old man Madara~~"
The zombie cringed. "Don"t apologize to me like that… you"re scaring me…"
Hehe~ of course. I"m just scary like that~~
"So how did he manage to damage you to this extent?"
Madara fell over. "Damage… how insulting…"
"Lemme tell you, your highness… the scariest thing about this Uzumaki brat is not the Nine-Tailed Fox inside him, nor his chakra…"
Madara"s tired eyes drooped in dread.
How entertaining… hehe~
I interrupted the pitifully drained Madara.
"Lemme guess~ you fell victim to a weaponized version of his all-powerful "Talk-no-jutsu"… hehe, isn"t that right~~?"
*SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*
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…wow. That sigh… isn"t he more exhausted than I thought?
Naruto grinned cheekily. "Madarjiichan is just so fun to talk to! Hehe," then he caught sight of my masterpiece. "Ne, ne! Yui-neechan! Is this the "hemerrhoids" you were talking about last time???"
…F*ck, this brat… sorry, Madara. I underestimated your resilience…
"NO!" *thudd*
Naruto rubbed the steaming lump on his head. "Yui-neechaaan~ why did you hit meeee?!" He whined.
"Serves you right~ What f*cking hemorrhoids, it"s "ANDROID"! OO~ TAY~~?? Android!!!"
Naruto grumbled, "How was I s"pposed ta remember such a big word?"
…no, the bigger word here is the one you used first…
I shook my head and sighed.
Ahh, little Naruto-kun. Now I finally understand the definition of "knuckle-head"~
Besides, his head"s where my knuckle wants to be~~
"DING! …seven, six, five, fou—"
"DAMMIT, I get it already! Here, my masterpiece is finished. Begin the d*mn upgrade arready!"
"DING! Upgrade commencing."
*sigh* Finally. Some peace and quiet.
"DING! 1%... 2%... 2.5%..."
"…"
"*ssnugget… shut up…"
"DING! … how mean…"
Serves you right.
Hm? Ohhh~?? This should be interesting~~
"Naruto-kun, come here," I said.
"Huh? Sup, Yui-neechan? Uh… wait-! What"re you—?!"
"Shut up for a minute! We got company~"
I squinted over at where we left Madara. I set up a special kind of barrier in the corner of the battlecave just now. As for the reason?
Hehe~ Aloe Vera has been lured into the deadly jaws of Venus Flytrap~~
…
*sigh* "Dunces. It means Zetsu"s coming."
Suddenly, a shadowy plant-like figure phased out through the ground in front of Madara.
"Madarsama, I have some new intel that you might want to hear about."
"Hm… so Zetsu thinks he"s still fooling Madara. Good."
Suddenly, my unchained brain went back to when ol" caterpillar-hair told me about the sc.r.a.pped canon. He started telling me about this "Shiro Otsutsuki" dude, but before he could finish why it was relevant to me, he started shouting at the air and the last thing he said was m.u.f.fled. He never did tell me what that was all about…
"…Hehehe~ I think it"s about time to pry it outta him~~"
"What intel?"
Oh, the conversation is progressing~!
"There was a sudden collapse of Danzo Shimura"s ROOT in Konohagakure. The guy got a sudden intel report, then seemingly went nuts, then died overnight. Of course, there was no way it could"ve been Sarutobi. He was a bit… *ahem* "tied up" at the time. After that, all the ROOT members dispersed. They seem to have given up on ROOT completely."
"Hmm, seems like the plan is progressing quite smoothly, then~"
"…Anything else?"
"…No."
"Fine. Dismissed."
After Zetsu left, Madara glanced around.
"It was you, wasn"t it?"
I walked out of the barrier with Naruto-kun in tow.
"Hehe~ you"re sharp, my young apprentice. Yes, that was my doing."
*sigh* "Thought so."
I nodded. Yep yep~ he"s not worth teaching if he can"t even figure out this much. I"m so proud~~
"Then~? When are you going to tell me the rest of the story about this "Shiro" guy?"
Madara froze up tensely. Oh how fun~
*sigh* "Look, your highness, please spare me! I really can"t say anymore about that! If you want to know, you"ll have to ask Emperor Shiro directly. There"s really nothing else I can do!!!"
"Well, I WAS gonna force it out of you using any means necessary…" I began maliciously.
Madara shivered and almost kneeled for mercy.
"Forget it. I won"t torture you~"
He relaxed.
…Tch.
"…It"ll be more fun to target the big boss behind-the-scenes rather than force the truth out of you, anyway."
I could imagine many many MANY ways to torture the "big boss" in question. All of which would be very entertaining…
But Madara is really no fun~ if I tortured him for an answer, I could only think of one fun way to do it, and that was by utilizing Naruto-kyun~~
Anyway, if I waited and targeted Shiro himself, the pros outweighed the cons by a longshot. Kukukukukuku~ *dark cackling in progress*
Madara: *shiver shiver*
Kyuubi: *shiver shiver*
Shiro: *shiver shiver*
Naruto: *picks nose cluelessly*
"…...."