Katy felt her legs buckle as a shot of sheer joy surged through her entire body. She stumbled but Ben grasped her arms firmly allowing her to steady herself.
"Hey, you alright?" he asked, looking worried again whilst he gently stroked her hair.
"I"m more than alright," she said, beaming up at him. Ben wanted to be a dad. He wanted to be a dad to her child. He wanted a future with her and the baby. She wasn"t alone on the edge of the dance floor. She was right in the middle clinging to Ben. She realised her entire world had just changed because for the first time in a very long time she wanted to stop being a "me" and start being an "us". An "us" with Ben and the baby. She gulped for air as her tears changed into laughter, both their shoulders heaving up and down in unison as they continued to slow dance.
They clung to each other for the rest of the dance, not speaking, Ben rhythmically rubbing her back and rocking her gently.
"There is one thing though," he said, pulling away as the song drew to a close. Katy felt her heart drop like a stone. "After tonight do we ever have to see Matthew and Alison again? It"s not the ex-boyfriend thing, although imagining you with such a stiff does nothing for your street-cred Katy. It"s just that they are so horribly perfect that they make me feel like daddy dunce. And I want to be a good dad, I really do. Because every kid deserves a good dad don"t they. But you will have to let me do it my way," he said earnestly.
Ben"s way would be a great way, Katy thought, impulsively reaching up to stroke his cheek. "Let"s just forget all about them," she said. "After tonight we can pretend they never existed. Agreed?"
"Agreed," he replied, looking relieved.
"Can I ask you something now?" Katy said, feeling suddenly shy.
"Anything my love, apart from dancing to George Michael that is," said Ben.
*Will you stroke my belly?" she asked.
This time a tear did escape from his left eye.
"That would make me the proudest man alive," he said as he gently nudged up her top and rested his hand on her warm belly. They shared a long lingering kiss until Katy felt a tap on her shoulder.
"So sorry to disturb this tender moment but I am desperate," said Daniel, looking nervously around him. "Old biddies keep coming up and asking me to dance. You have to rescue me."
"Why don"t you dance with Katy while I go for a slash," said Ben before kissing Katy on the forehead and disappearing off to the gents, waving cheerily as he went.
"So what"s with love"s young dream then?" asked Daniel, observing the very smiley Katy.
"Oh Daniel, it"s all going to be alright. We made up and he says he"s excited about being a dad," Katy beamed. "And this has to be the absolutely last time I ever have to see Matthew so I think I have weathered the storm and calmer waters are approaching. I can finally get on with the rest of my life."
"Really, so all those emotions and feelings are where they should be hey?" asked Daniel.
"Exactly."
"And you got the answer to the really truly difficult question?
"What question?" she asked.
"Christ Katy, you never listen to a word I say do you? Do-I-really-love-him?" Daniel spelled out. "Remember? That question."
"Well yeah, I guess I must do."
"Have you told him? Has he told you?"
"Well no, but we are really not that kind of couple," said Katy with a shrug. "It"s fine honestly Daniel, we are back on track. We are going to be absolutely fine."
"OK, OK, if you say so. Just be happy, OK? Promise me?" asked Daniel.
"I promise," rea.s.sured Katy.
"And another thing. You make sure you tell that Matthew never to rear his ugly head again."
"Sure, sure. Now can we please sit down, my feet are killing me."
"Good idea. I need a decent drink," said Daniel, taking her hand and leading her off the dance floor.
By the time Ben had come back from the toilets Daniel had miraculously produced a very expensive bottle of vodka he"d sneaked in knowing that the bar was probably going to be a strictly cash and carry affair.
"I"ll have a bit of that," said Ben. "That lager is doing no good to my insides."
"Be my guest," said Daniel, feeling generous given that Ben had obviously made Katy so happy.
"Watch out, stand by your beds," muttered Ben as Matthew and Alison came to sit with them having been to inspect the buffet and decided to abstain. Katy couldn"t help but notice the displeasure spread over Matthew"s face as he observed Ben nuzzling contentedly into Katy"s shoulder whilst he rotated his hand over and over her b.u.mp under her shirt, occasionally revealing a peek at her naked pregnant belly.
The look didn"t go unnoticed either by Daniel who shoved the vodka bottle at Matthew and told him to take a swig in an effort to distract him.
Matthew looked at Alison, who immediately placed her hand firmly on his arm.
"Don"t mind if I do," Matthew said shaking off her hand before taking the bottle from Daniel and jamming it firmly in his mouth, downing several gulps.
"Matthew," exclaimed Alison. "You don"t know where it"s been."
Matthew took another very large swig whilst holding eye contact with Alison.
"Matthew, stop. It"s not funny," she protested.
"It"s just vodka," said Matthew.
"But what happens if the babies come tonight and you are blind drunk?"
Matthew gave a big sigh and stared at the bottle in his hands. "Just one more," he muttered, this time not looking at Alison and taking an extra long slug.
"Right that"s it. We"re going," said Alison. "Don"t move. You just sit there. I"ll go and say goodbye to Charlene and Luke and thank Charlene"s parents. I want you to be capable of getting into the car by the time I"m back. Excuse me everyone. And don"t let him have any more of that vodka."
As soon as her back was turned, Matthew took another slug of vodka before handing the bottle back to Daniel.
"I owe you a drink," he said but made no move to go to the bar preferring to stare after Alison.
"Tell you what, I"ll get a round in," said Ben. "Won"t be a tick."
Daniel looked at Katy and coughed, nodding vigorously towards Matthew.
"Yes and I need some air," Daniel said. "I"ll be outside."
Katy and Matthew sat in silence until Matthew reached forward and grabbed the vodka and took yet another swig.
"What"s with you?" asked Katy.
"Nothing."
"Come on, you"ve hardly had a civil word for anyone and what"s with the vodka?"
"It"s all just too weird for me Katy," he said looking far into the distance. "Just too weird."
"What"s weird?"
"This is. Don"t you think it"s weird that this is the last time we will ever see each other?"
"Guess so but it"s not exactly been a barrel of laughs has it?"
"No but, it"s been good you know," he said, turning to face her. "Apart from making me sing stupid songs. We were good once weren"t we? Really good. And I screwed it up." He paused. "Ever wonder what might have been? You know, if I hadn"t been such a d.i.c.k."
"No, never," Katy lied.
"I do."
"Don"t."
"I can"t help it," said Matthew, letting his head sink into his hands. Katy wasn"t sure what to say. She hadn"t expected this.
Suddenly Matthew"s head shot up and he looked at Katy.
"Let me see you and the baby. Just once, I promise. I think I need to see you both. So I can get closure or something. Say a proper goodbye and then draw the line. Then I"ll be able to move on. I think that will make me feel better."
Katy stared back at him completely dumbstruck.
"Make you feel better?" she said finally through gritted teeth. "That sums it up doesn"t it? You just don"t get it do you?" She was shouting right in his ear now to make sure he could hear her. "Listen carefully. This is not about you. This is about the baby and me and Ben and us somehow making this work. And it is about your wife and your two kids on their way any day. You have to do what"s right for other people now Matthew, not what might make you feel better."
"But I can"t help the fact that I care about you and what happens to the baby," he said, rocking himself backwards and forwards.
Katy closed her eyes and tried to slow down her rapid breathing.
"The time to care was right about when you were s.h.a.gging the Virgin Mary, not now. You missed it Matthew. Well and truly missed it."
Matthew looked utterly defeated for a moment and then his face hardened.
"I was stupid and I"m sorry, but you slept with me and I didn"t see you worrying about Ben. Now you"re planning the rest of your life with him despite the fact he"s an idiot."
"Leave it Matthew. It"s nothing to do with you and you have absolutely no right to say that."
"But he could be bringing up my child."
"Stop. That"s enough. How dare you talk like this now. We dealt with this weeks ago remember? Ben will be the father of this child, end of story. Now just leave it alone."
Matthew stared at her briefly before saying, "Fine, if that is the way you want it. Just don"t come running to me when he walks out on you because he can"t take the responsibility." He got up and walked unsteadily in the direction of the gents.
What a t.w.a.t, she thought. How dare he ask to see the baby and how dare he say Ben was going to let her down. Deep down, however, she knew Matthew might be right. Despite Ben"s sudden upturn in att.i.tude, come crunch time, he might not be able to take the pressure. She looked around for him, frantically needing some immediate rea.s.surance. He was talking to some of Luke"s friends by the bar. She breathed heavily, trying not to cry, and made her way over. Just as she got within a few yards of him she felt the tears spring up like a sprinkler on a late-night timer. She tried sniffing vigorously but there was nothing she could do, they were off and running. Ben looked horrified at the blubbering mess advancing towards him. He muttered some words to the three boys talking to him, who took one look at Katy and backed away in terrified awe.
"What is it?" What"s happened?" asked Ben putting his arm around her.
Katy breathed in hard again, trying desperately to regain some control.
"Katy my love, was it the trifle?" asked Ben. "Did Charlene"s mum make you eat it? I know it tastes like rat poison but I really don"t think anyone who names her children after Neighbours characters would deliberately try to harm you. Although I did hear she wants to kill off all the guests so they won"t have to return the presents come divorce time."
Katy couldn"t help but smile, then slowly but surely her shoulders began to shake with laughter as she buried her head in a tissue. She dried her eyes and gave a big sigh. G.o.d it was good to have Ben back on form.
"So what did the t.o.s.s.e.r say this time? I saw you talking to him," said Ben turning serious. "He wasn"t giving you grief about telling me about you and him was he? Because if he was, I"ll have to have a word with him. It"s his lie not yours. It wasn"t your idea not to tell her."
"No Ben, it wasn"t that. He was just a bit worried you know that, well you had taken it badly and were taking it out on me. That"s all, nothing really."
"You what? He thinks I"m giving you a hard time over his stupid b.l.o.o.d.y secrets. Christ he"s got a nerve. Who the h.e.l.l does he think he is, playing all these games?"
"It"s not a game honestly Ben, just a stupid lie that got out of hand that"s all."
"A stupid lie that was ridiculous in the first place. What kind of crazy relationship do they have that Matthew is scared s.h.i.tless of confessing previous girlfriends?" said Ben, getting worked up.
"Ben, please just forget about it, it"s really not worth it."
"Back in a minute," he mumbled and walked off.
Katy was about to reach for her tissues again when she noticed where he was going. Within moments the gents door shrieked then slammed with an ominous bang.
Matthew was standing unsteadily at the urinal, with his back to the room when Ben walked in. It was empty other than whatever inhabitants were encouraged by decades of grime and stale p.i.s.s. There were two cubicles to the right but only one had a door and a bare bulb flickered distractedly in the middle of the room making everything look like a scene from a B-movie.
There were three urinals and Matthew had taken the one to the far right allowing any newcomer to leave the one in the middle free in accordance with male toilet etiquette. Ben could sense that Matthew was therefore somewhat surprised when someone brushed up right next to him.
"So Katy tells me you"re worried that I"m giving her a hard time because it somehow slipped both your minds that you used to go out together. That is despite the fact you"ve had a reminder tattooed to your shoulders for the last G.o.d knows how many years."
The shock of the intrusion caused Matthew to halt mid-flow. He looked up at Ben and puffed his chest out.
"No, Ben. I was just checking she was alright. She needs looking after. She is about to have a baby."
"Don"t you think I know that? I"m doing it. I"m doing it and then you come along and upset everything," said Ben.
"Doing what?" Matthew let out a small laugh. "What are you doing exactly Ben? Because to be honest I don"t see you doing that much." Matthew called a halt to his interrupted stream and tucked himself away before turning to face Ben head on.
"All you ever did was a.r.s.e around at the cla.s.ses. You"re out all the time with your mates and you still think it"s a good idea to go to a stag-do when the baby is due. Honestly Ben, I don"t think you"re up to it. You need to grow up or leave Katy to it. No father is better than a father who doesn"t give a s.h.i.t and Katy deserves better than that."
The door burst open and Scott came hurtling in.
"Mister, mister," he said breathlessly to Ben. "Your girlfriend is outside and she says I"ve got to get you out right now and she"ll buy me a half of shandy if I don"t tell me mum." Scott grabbed Ben"s hand and started pulling for all he was worth.
Ben"s stony gaze did not move from Matthew"s face.
"If you get out now I"ll buy you a pint," said Ben.
"What of shandy, or do you mean a real pint."