Dont forget to catch up on Chapter 34 in the last post. A lot of you will hate Ye Zengchen in this chapter. What can I say except that I too hated hm here when I read this for te first time. He tried to do the right and fair thing, but here he just gives in to his emotions..
Ch 35 - No more kindness
Ye Zhengchen squat down in front of me . Gently, he caressed my head with his palm . His touch was neither heavy nor light.
" What else can I do for you?" There was a slight tremble in his voice.
I bit my lip and shook my head, He had already done enough for me.
He hadn"t looked for me, he hadn"t entangled with me in the name of love and he hadn"t asked for my forgiveness
He didn"t bother me anymore. In fact, he was trying his best to let me forget him as soon as I could. Wasn"t this what I wanted?
But I still hoped… hoped that he would hold me again.
I still hoped that he would hug me in the simplest and the most sincere way.
Like he used to do a long, long time ago…
I looked up at him. I didnt know if something in my face gave away my inner thoughts, but with a low sigh, he extended his arms and slowly held my shoulders.
After a moment of hesitation, I moved into his warm hug…
All my psychological defences had collapsed in the alcoholic haze I was in. A flood of conflicting emotions engulfed me..
I hugged his waist, greedily seeking the touch and feel of his body. My brain could no longer suppress the desires of my heart.
"Brother", I breathed as my hot tears slid down his neck, " I really miss you !"
Suddenly, he raised my face. Then he kissed me,. His lips ravaged mine, his tongue pressed forcefully into my mouth
Taken aback, I was in no position to stop the a.s.sault if his tongue as he plunged into my mouth, over and over again…
It was as if all our emotions that had been suppressed for so long had erupted on to the surface.
" No..", I tried to refuse, I tried to move my mouth away
But the hands that I had extended to push him away ended up touching his heart and curling against it.
This made him more unscrupulous. His eyes flashed with a burning desire as his lips continued to plunder my mouth and his hands reached towards the neckline of my shirt.
His hands ripped the neckline, exposing my bare skin to his fingers…
His lips moved downwards, and he bit and sucked my neck, leaving marks all over my neck.
I was shocked momentarily but soon regained my senses.
"No!" I finally reacted and tried to move away from him. " Don"t do this. Yu Yin is just next door, your wife.."
He paused. I took the opportunity t o break free from his gasp and stood up. In the next second, he caught my legs, ripping off my skirt and stockings.
"Ye Zhengchen!" My clothes were now hanging from my body,exposing my body to his gaze. Unable to stop the exploration of his hands, I trembled. " Do you even know what you are doing?"
Unswervingly, he answered, "No I don"t!"
"You…!."
Even with his lawfully wedded wife next door, he actually dragged me to the bedroom and wrestled me to the ground..
This was the Ye Zhengchen I was familiar with.
He was a beast at heart, strong in body, his eyes were full of fire … His whole body exuded an arrogance and overbearing att.i.tude…
He pressed me under his body. The ground was very hard and my back hurt. I clenched my lips, swallowing my desire to scream out as I kept my gaze fixed on the wall behind him
I tasted blood
This was the last time I would have any soft feelings for him. From now onwards, I would hate him forever. This hatred would be embedded in my bones till I died.
…… …
He took me to bed, having fun as he forcefully subdued my struggling body, taking pleasure in my helplessness.
Half an hour later, my body was covered with green and purple bruises. Not an inch of my body had escaped my brutal caresses.
With the last of my efforts to escape his grip exhausted, I lay quietly on the bed.
He laughed and slowly poked my face. " Done?"
I stared at him fiercely in answer.
" Ye Zhengchen, don"t make me hate you!"
" I have done this a lot of times already. It doesn"t matter if I do it one more time!" Not only did he refuse to let me go, he even took off his own clothes.
Unable to resist, I watched as he undressed, I watched as he held my knees and I watched as he pushed my legs apart.
I clenched my lips. " When I have the means, I will kill you"
He ignored me and pressed his body on mine. I felt a strong force grip my waist.
Then there was a sudden fiery, raw feeling as he entered my body.
I didn"t cry out aloud as I felt him move deep within me.
I couldn"t tell if what I was feeling was pain or happiness. He kissed me frantically, our tongues entangled as he pushed deeper and deeper into my body
If someone ever asked me about the most memorable thing I had ever experienced, I would say that it was the feeling of being forced to make love by a person you loved.
My heart was filled with hatred, but my body felt hot and weak as I dizzyingly immersed myself in all the sensations I was experiencing.
I felt like all my internal organs were being torn to pieces and each piece was melting in the cauldron of fire…
I couldn"t help but surrender finally, feeling the oncoming climax. Irrationally, I had a strong urge to hug him fiercely and cry, begging him to stop…
But he didnt stop and sent me flying to the top.
At that moment, I realised that no matter how many times I resented him and felt pain, my love for him would never change.
There were some men, who, if you fell in love with once, you would never love another person..
I trembled as the climax hit me. He continued kissing me , warming up even the coldest corners of my heart
I hugged him fiercely and haltingly asked, " That day, why didn"t you lie to me? Since you deceived me from the beginning, why not lie till the end…"
I didn"t hate the man because he had deceived me, I hated him because he didn"t continue lying till the end.
" You could have lied to me that this marriage was just a sham.. just to help get her a visa.."
Although this was a ridiculous excuse, I would believe him
I would rather be an ignorant idiot than a smart person who found the truth too painful to continue living.
He stopped caressing me. His hands held me closely to his body. There was no gap between our bodies.
" Don"t ask me why. Just trust me. Stay with me. Three years later, I wil do whatever you say..give you whatever you want."
I looked at the wall and wondered if Yu Yin heard him say this.
I laughed at myself.
Ye Zhengchen saw the mocking smile on my face and got angry. " You never believed me, never trusted me…everything was false…"
I was confused.
What was true, what was a lie?
Was he deceiving me, or was I deceiving him?
I could not tell
All I really knew is that we loved each other , but that love was very painful..
And there was a woman next door who would be more hurt than either of us.
Despair and hatred coalesced in my heart as we made love countless times.
Love and hate intertwined as pain and bliss mixed with each other.
When he was about to come, he pushed deeper into my body.
" No , this isn"t a safe period..", I tried to push him back..
He grabbed my hands and pressed them on the bed. " Then, give me a baby.."
" Are you crazy! Go out!!!"
Completely ignoring my pleas, he climaxed in my body.
" If you are pregnant with our child, you will be linked to me for the rest of this life!" He didnt even look a bit embarra.s.sed when he said this.
" You.. you…" There weren"t any words that could express my deep hatred. What kind of man was this! Not content with making me his mistress, he even wanted to have an illegitimate child with me!
" Get out of here!"
I was afraid that if he stayed for a second longer, I would be driven crazy and murder him.
He sat up, but he had no intention of leaving me.
" Girl, what do I have to do for you to forgive me ? I will do whatever you ask."
" Don"t ever appear in front of my eyes. Can you do that?"
" If that makes you happy, I can do that." He asked me , " But are you really happy? Do you really want me to leave?"
" Yes!"