He pulled my left hand up and raised his own at the same time. Both wrists had matching black and white watches. Every tick of the second hand further damaged my self esteem.
To be truthful, what I most wanted was to be with him. But the law and morality did not allow me to say this sentence
This was only Yu Yan"s right
" Stay with me", he hugged me again and kissed me. " Don"t think about other people as long as you are happy."
His att.i.tude and tone were like the men who consoled their mistresses in a TV drama
What I hated even more was that he actually put his hand to my chest and started teasing the sensitive area.
I curled up at the end of the bed. He wrapped his arms around me. The tip of his nose slowly rubbed my ear.
"Girl, I miss you too…let"s stop torturing each other from now on."
In front of my eyes, I could see my clothes scattered on the floor.
I knew that if I compromised my values the first time, there would be a second time, a third time…till this became a habit. I would forget my dignity and my morals.
Each of the women in such relationships were initially strong, but later they gave in to the strong desires in their hearts.
I would give in as well… soon.
As my defences started collapsing, I remembered a scene at the hospital.
Yu Ying sat on a chair, smoothening her skirt. Ye Zhengchen lay on the bed and looked at her silently. I held the warm flask in my hand…
…… ……
I felt the blood rush to my head. I pushed him away and rushed to the kitchen. I grabbed the knife I usually used to cut vegetables. " Go! If you dont leave, I will kill you!"
He looked at the knife in my hand.
" You cant even hold the knife properly. Can you kill me?"
" Don"t push me!"
" I don"t believe that you will kill me."
He approached me slowly and I shrank back a step. He smiled, " You can"t bear to kill me."
I looked at him and grabbed the handle with both hands.
He pressed forward harder and harder, staring at me , relying on my love to leave him unharmed.
My knife shrank back further and further, till I turned the blade around to point it at myself.
" If you don"t leave.."
When he saw that the tip of my knife was only a centimetre away from my neck, his expression changed.
" Stop it."
" I…"
I blinked. In that moment of inattention, he grabbed my wrists. He moved very fast.
" I know that you hate me because I pushed you into this dilemma". He wrapped his hands around mine and pointed the blade towards his chest.
"Stab me if it will make you feel better."
I thought he would tell me not to think of him anymore…
He forced my hand forward and stabbed his chest. I could feel the tip of the knife meeting some resistance, then sinking into softness as he applied more force..
The world stopped. Blood dripped on to the table.
" No!"
I used all of my strength to pull back my hand. The knife fell on the floor. Blood dripped on to the floor..
Panicked, I ran to get the medicine box. I pulled out the gauze but I had forgotten the first aid methods I had learnt. I just stupidly held the gauze in front of his chest.
I could feel his heartbeat with my palm. A sharp pain spread from the palm of my hand to my whole body. It would have been better if the knife had stabbed me.
" Do you still hate me ?" he asked.
I cried and shook my head. "You know I can"t bear to see you hurt.."
" Give me another chance. Wait for me for three years…"
The blood soaked through the gauze, a fiery bright red colour. Where did all this blood come from ?
…… ……
The next day, I tried my best to get up, bathe and clean up. I was planning to go to school when I got an unexpected call from Zhong Tian.
I remember, when I first came to j.a.pan, Zhong Tian would often call me or leave me messages online.
Since I told him that I had a boyfriend, he had stopped contacting me.
I didnt know why he called suddenly. I hesitated and picked up the phone.
" Hi!" I didnt know what to say.
" Xiao Bing", his voice was very solemn." Are you busy?"
"I have been a bit busy the last few days."
" Can you take some time off to come home?"
This request was a bit odd. If it had been anyone else, I wouldn"t have worried. But Zhong Tian was a very cautious person and if he made such requests, there must be a valid reason behind it.
"What happened?" I asked quickly.
" Uncle Bo , he just got out of a surgery.."
I could feel all my blood freeze as I dropped on the bed. Whenever I had called home the last few times, my parents had been taciturn. They had simply asked me how I was and then hung up the phone.
I felt that it was probably because they were in a bad mood and hadn"t put too much importance to it.
"What happened to him?", I asked.
He was silent for a moment. " You come back and we can talk"
If it was an ordinary disease, my parents would not have hid it from me and Zhong Tian would not ask me to come back.
" Is there any danger to his life?" I continued to chant in my mind: No, no certainly not.
"The operation was very successful. The doctor said… for now, he is safe."
The phrase "for now" was very scary. " I"ll get my tickets now."
Immediately, I hung up the phone and checked for tickets on my phone. My hands were already shaking and everything in front of me was blurry.
The earliest plane I could find was scheduled to leave tomorrow morning at 10 am
I stayed up all night and packed my bags, carrying all my important things with me.
As I pa.s.sed Ye Zhengchen"s door, I remembered that I still owed him an answer. Slowly, I put down the suitcase and pressed the doorbell.
The door opened. Yu Yin, in a red nightgown, stood in the doorway.
Her clothes were red, even brighter than Ye Zhengchen"s blood.
" Do you need something?" she asked me with a faint smile. It was almost four o clock in the morning , teh sky was still dark and the morning was foggy.
Even the trees were embarra.s.sed into silence while the lake was paralyzed.
I took the first bus to the international airport.
I didn"t want to come back to this apartment, this city or even this country ever again…
When I picked up my boarding pa.s.s, the man at the counter reminded me, "You have not finished the re-entry procedures. After you leave, you will have to apply for a visa gaian."
" I understand. It does not matter."
…… ……
There were still two hours to kill before I could board the plane.I sat on a chair and called Lingling, Qin Xue , Feng Ge and Li Kai about my return to China
The last call I had planned was to Ye Zhengchen.
When the phone rang, I regretted my decision to call him and decided to hang up. But the call was connected almost immediately.
" Girl?" It was quiet on the other side, and his voice was almost a whisper.
I took a deep breath and said, " Look after Yu Yin. Whether you love her or not, you should discharge your responsibilities towards her."
"……" “…”
" Sayonara…I"m going". I said sayonara in j.a.panese
This word means goodbye in j.a.panese. The j.a.panese say this in only one case, when two people would never see each other again.
Without waiting for his answer, I hung up.
Before I disconnected the call, I heard him say, " Wait for me…"
Ofcourse I would not wait for him.
When the boarding time came, I walked to the gate. The staff was checking my paasport when he came..
At first when I saw him , I thought it was my illusion. Many times during the night, I had dreamt of him, trying to remember what he looked like.
But he squeezed through the crowd wearing a white shirt. There wasa stain of blood on his chest. He shouted my name and I knew this wasn"t my imagination.
" Bo Bing, Bo Bing…" This was the first time I had heard him shout my name. My name in his lips felt odd and cold.
I took the pa.s.sport the staff handed back to me and walked t o the boarding gate.
He tried to chase after me but was stopped at the gate.
"Bo Bing!" he shouted again , ignoring the looks that other people were giving him.
"Please wait. I have something to say to you. It"s important, really important!"
I moved forward, struggling with my carry-on. Suddenly, it seemed as heavy as a rock.
" Girl, I love you!"
I was rooted to the floor, my eyes full of tears.
" Just give me three minutes. I will tell you the truth… three minutes. It will only take three minutes."
This was his last request. But I did not give him that time.
In a voice that only I could hear , I said, " Brother, I am leaving. Believe me, none of us will hurt anymore after this"
Later on, I would sometimes think, if I had given him that three minutes, what would he have told me?
Would he have told me the truth, or another lie?
Miumiu : And we are done with the past. Phew !Now we move back to the present. On the personal front, I am celebrating because my horrible boss has quit.
I love reading your comments so please do leave me your comments, Are you liking the novel> Do you think YZ desreves BB after all that he has done? What do you think YZ’s secret was?