Maryl took a deep breath and forced herself to meet Olivia"s eyes. "Yes."
Olivia c.o.c.ked her head and thought for a moment. "I suppose I"m prejudiced in Robin"s favor so a testimonial from me is just wasted breath."
"No," Maryl objected quickly. "Please. Say whatever you want."
"She"s a good woman," Olivia said firmly. "I"m proud of her. She"s generous and reliable and honest. She does like to play pranks and tease, but she"s never mean-spirited about it. She did punch a boy in the face once..."
"She told me about that."
"I"m inclined to think he had it coming, but it affected her very badly. Her father and I were about ready to put her in therapy, but she eventually worked it out and I"m not aware that she has ever hit anyone again."
"I don"t think she would ever hit me," Maryl admitted.
"Did she tell you about Tammy?"
"Yes."
Olivia sighed and looked off into the distance. "That about broke my heart to see her suffer so. She tried so hard to make things right. I gave up on Tammy months before Robin did, but they had been together for so long and Robin wanted to believe that it was just one of those times that all marriages go through and if she worked at it, it would pa.s.s and everything would be okay. I think she stopped loving her long before it ended, but she felt it was important to give it an honest effort considering all the time they had been together. I hated what it did to her spirit, but I respected her more as a woman-not my little girl-for trying."
"What happened?" Maryl asked. "Why did Tammy change?"
"We don"t know. Robin swore to me that she hadn"t cheated on her or hit her and I believe her. I wondered if Tammy had a medical condition for while, but she still appears healthy. Maybe if Tammy had ever accused her of anything we would have a place to start, but...nothing."
Maryl pushed her tray aside and leaned on her elbows. Olivia"s openness inspired her to talk. "I do love her, you know. Almost from the first minute. On the camping trip I could surrender to it because I had the safety net of knowing that it would be over before she could come to her senses. But now that she"s here...? I still can"t believe that she changed her life based on a four day fantasy."
"Was it a fantasy?"
"Yes. And now she wants to make it a reality and it"s so incredibly tempting, but..." Maryl briefly covered her mouth to hold back a sob. "She changed me somehow. I"ve thrown myself with reckless abandon into one disastrous relationship after another all my life. I want to throw myself at Robin, too, but it"s different this time. I"m different. I believe that she"s the one I"ve been looking for, but I"m not sure if I can trust my feelings. They"ve led me astray before and I"m not sure I"ll recover if I"m wrong this time. I need to hold back until I"m sure because it feels like if I"m wrong this time, something irreplaceable will be broken. Maybe it is something about me that makes my lovers so hateful. I don"t know, but if it is, I need to give Robin time to change her mind before I can commit myself to her."
Olivia reached across the table and took her hand. "I can"t make any promises about the future, dear, but I find it hard to believe that you are anything but a joy to be with. I can guarantee that if it doesn"t work between the two of you it will only end after every option has been exhausted. Robin commits her heart completely and unless you tell her you don"t love her-and it"s really true-she"ll wait for you for the rest of your life."
Maryl desperately wanted to believe her. "I didn"t want her to leave her family, you know."
Olivia laughed. "Don"t be silly. She hasn"t left us. In fact, Julian was quite taken with this little town of yours and is thinking about expanding his contracting business to this area. I find it quite charming myself. In a few years, who knows?"
Maryl used her napkin to wipe her eyes. "I"m sorry. I seem to be crying all the time lately."
Olivia patted her arm. "You go right ahead, dear. Crying is the best medicine for what ails you."
"I can"t believe how cool you are about Robin being a lesbian."
"Oh, I admit, I was terribly disappointed at first, but I didn"t love her any less and I finally realized that I was mostly disappointed because I had been looking forward to her being a mother. I so wanted to hold her babies in my arms." Olivia grinned. "As your future mother-in-law, I"m ent.i.tled to ask: have you ever thought about having children?"
This struck Maryl as supremely funny and she laughed helplessly.
"I only ask," Olivia continued gracefully, "because Robin is absolutely terrified of being pregnant. She was in the delivery room to take pictures for Julian"s first child and I think it traumatized her. I believe she would love to be a mother, but it won"t happen unless her wife wants to make the baby."
"I used to think about it all the time," Maryl admitted reluctantly, "but I gave up on it. I haven"t thought about it for a long time."
Olivia"s eyes gleamed dangerously. "Well, before you dismiss it entirely, let me tell you a secret." She leaned close and spoke softly. "Robin obviously can"t make you pregnant, but Bruce is willing."
Maryl was stunned. "Bruce wants to make me pregnant?"
"Not you specifically, dear. Bruce has told me any number of times since he was a young man that if Robin ever found a woman that wanted children with her, he would offer to be the donor. Since Robin can"t produce sperm, Bruce feels that as her twin, his would be the closest she could come to producing a child of her own. I know it"s terribly inappropriate for me to begin nagging you about grandchildren when you haven"t yet accepted the idea that you"re going to marry my daughter, but I may not be allowed to talk to you again for some time and I just can"t give up on seeing her become a mother. I know it"s selfish of me, but she"d be so good at it and you...I have a feeling about you, Maryl. I think you would be a wonderful mother to my grandchildren and I can"t wait to have you as a daughter-in-law."
Maryl covered her mouth and stared.
"See, now I"ve frightened you. Robin is going to skin me alive."
"No...I"m okay." Maryl took a drink of her soda. "I just never expected to have a conversation anything like this. I never even considered the idea of having a mother-in law. It seems so strange. Aren"t we supposed to hate each other?"
Olivia grimaced. "I could try, if it"s important to you, but I"d rather not."
Maryl smiled at her. "I don"t know what to say about giving you grandchildren."
"It"s not about giving me what I want," Olivia said seriously. "Just put the information in the back of your mind and let it simmer. If things work out as I hope and you two decide that you want to have a family, the information will be there. In the meantime, you should eat. You"ve got to keep your strength up."
Maryl was propped up in bed with Robin"s orchid sitting against her knees. The flower was beautiful, but so blatantly suggestive that it took her breath away. It was late, but she called anyway.
"h.e.l.lo?"
"It"s beautiful, Robin."
"I was going to send you pansies, but I saw it and I thought of you. I hope I didn"t cross the line."
"Pansies would have been nice," Maryl said softly, "but this..."
"Are you looking at it right now?"
"Mm hmm."
"What are you wearing?"
Maryl laughed and snuggled down a bit in her bed. "An old T-shirt and underwear."
"Ooh, sounds s.e.xy."
Maryl laughed again. "What are you wearing?"
"Nothing."
"No, really."
"Really. I sleep nude."
Maryl closed her eyes and remembered.
"I"m sorry about my mom today," Robin said into the silence. "I asked her not to..."
"I"m glad she did," Maryl admitted. "Don"t be too hard on her on my account. I like your mom."
"She didn"t scare you then? She was worried that she scared you."
"I was scared before."
"And now?"
"Maybe not as much." Maryl couldn"t get the image of Robin naked out of her head. "If you"re nude..."
"Yes?"
Maryl blushed. "Sorry. I don"t want to be a tease."
"I wish you would." Robin sounded sincere.
"Can you see your b.r.e.a.s.t.s?"
"Yes."
Maryl covered her eyes in embarra.s.sment. "Are your nipples hiding?"
"Hmm. The left one is a little perky, but the right one is sound asleep. Should I wake it up?"
"No. I just wanted to get your image right."
"What about yours?"
Maryl pulled up the neck of her T-shirt and looked. "Still awake, but not paying any attention."
"I miss them," Robin said quietly.
"I miss yours, too." There didn"t seem to be much to say after that and Maryl let silence fill the void.
"I"m going to sign up for that pottery cla.s.s on Monday," Robin said. "Are you interested in joining me? No strings attached."
"I don"t know. I"m not very gifted in the artistic realm."
"That"s the beauty of pottery. A bowl is a bowl and a cup is a cup. If it holds water when you"re done, you"ve done it correctly."
"I"ll think about it and let you know before Monday morning." The silence returned and Maryl sighed. "You"re being awfully patient with me. Don"t you ever want to...?" She couldn"t finish.
Robin"s voice was husky. "Rip your clothes off and fall on you with my mouth and hands until you"ll agree to anything if I"ll only let you come?"
A relentless wave of pleasure coursed through Maryl"s body. "Something like that, yes."
"Constantly. But it"s your heart I"m waiting for. It can"t be taken-only given, and I"m willing to wait as long as it takes."
"Am I hurting you-making you wait like this?"
Robin laughed. "Your kisses make it all okay. I"m fine."
Maryl relaxed.
"Um..." Robin said with hesitation. "You"re not going to hang up now, are you?"
"I don"t have to, no. Why?"
"It"s just that my right nipple woke up and you could talk to it if you want to."
Maryl grinned and held back a laugh. "I"m not very good at talking dirty."
"You don"t have to be. In fact, I won"t even listen." There was a brief pause and then Robin"s voice was far away. "Go ahead, Maryl."
Embarra.s.sed at herself, Maryl made kissing sounds into the phone until she heard Robin screech.
"Mom! What are you doing in here?"
Maryl held her breath so she could hear better.
"What am I doing?" Robin"s mom sounded surprised. "What are you doing?"
"Maryl"s talking to my... Why am I explaining this to you?"
Fighting not to laugh out loud, Maryl concentrated.
"Oh," Olivia said with understanding. "It"s phone s.e.x, right?"
"Mom! You"re totally out of control!" Robin didn"t sound angry so much as embarra.s.sed and it only made Maryl"s hysteria more intense.
"I thought you were having a nightmare. I can"t believe you talk to your old mother this way." Olivia"s distant voice held a dramatic quiver. "And after all I"ve done for you."
"Cripes, Mom. Go to bed."
"Tell Maryl I said h.e.l.lo."
Robin"s voice was suddenly clear and aggravated. "Mom says h.e.l.lo."
Maryl finally lost control and laughed harder than she had laughed in years.
"She"s laughing, Mom. Are you happy now?"
"Goodnight, dear." Olivia sounded extremely pleased with herself.
It was all Maryl could do to keep the phone to her ear.
"It"s not funny, Maryl."
"Yes, it is!"