"Fine. Next time she can catch you. She"s going to tell everyone about this. I"ll never be able to go home again."
"Oh, G.o.d!" Maryl gasped. "I think I gave myself a headache."
"Serves you right."
"Oh," she finally said. "I needed that. I may never talk dirty again, but I sure needed a good laugh."
"If you don"t mind telling me, what did you two talk about today?"
"What a good person you are and that she hopes I"ll marry you." She kept the baby information to herself for now. "I love your mom. She"s great."
"She is pretty great," Robin admitted. "I just wish she didn"t get such a kick out of embarra.s.sing me."
"You love it and you know it."
""Don"t tell her, okay?"
"I won"t." The line was silent for a long moment and Maryl would have been perfectly happy to just listen to her breathing.
"Can I ask you something?" Robin said tentatively.
"Sure."
"What"s your last name?"
Maryl could have sworn she had told her, but she couldn"t remember when. "My last name is Jeffries."
"Well, then. Good night, Maryl Jeffries."
"Good night, Robin Griffith."
By holding her breath, Maryl managed to contain her enthusiasm until the balloon was several hundred feet in the air. There was little or no wind in the brisk morning sky and they floated lazily above the take-off field. The pilot"s helpers on the ground were getting smaller by the moment as they finished picking up gear and prepared to follow them wherever the wind took them. The sun was just beginning to peek over the distant hills and the sky was a brilliant pink. The gondola shifted slightly as they moved about, but it reminded Maryl more of a raft than anything else.
Taken in by the glorious vista spread out before her, Maryl leaned over the side of the gondola and spread her arms out to embrace the vivid December sunrise. "This is magnificent!" She shouted. She could hear the support staff below laughing at her outburst, but somehow she knew they understood.
She was glad she had taken Shine"s advice. It really was cold. It helped to have Robin at her back. Hugging the arm Robin had wrapped around her middle, she pressed back into her. "Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?"
Robin"s reply was soft and low in her ear. "I"ve seen you."
"You"re so sweet." Maryl studied the landscape carefully, anxious to commit it all to memory. She had no way of knowing if she would ever do this again, so it was important to soak it all in. The sun suddenly crested the horizon and sent rays of pure brilliance her way. She looked down to shield her eyes and spotted Robin"s hand on the gondola"s edge. Maryl reached out and covered it with her own.
She was startled to find the hand rigid and it brought the fact that Robin"s entire body was unnaturally stiff to the forefront of her awareness. She had been marginally aware that Robin was nervous prior to take-off, but Maryl had been totally self-absorbed in her own excitement. It had been easy to dismiss the signs because Robin always seemed so strong and confident. It was hard to believe that anything could frighten her, but now that Maryl was thinking about it, it seemed so obvious. She groaned inwardly at her insensitivity.
Turning to slip an arm around Robin"s waist, Maryl saw the tightly closed eyes only briefly before Robin buried her face in Maryl"s shoulder. "Oh no. Why didn"t you tell me you were afraid of heights? What were you thinking? You didn"t have to come."
"I"m okay," Robin whispered raggedly. "I can handle it. How high are we?"
"Not very," Maryl lied.
The pilot spoke up for the first time since lift off. "Everything okay?"
Maryl shook her head. "Take us down, please."
"No!" Robin said urgently. "I"m okay. I don"t feel sick and it can"t get any worse than this. Just keep going."
Maryl wrapped her arms around Robin"s shoulders. "I don"t mind if we land. I saw the sunrise and it was beautiful. I don"t want you to be miserable a moment longer than necessary."
"I can do it," Robin insisted. "Isn"t there supposed to be champagne?"
"Maybe she should sit down," the pilot suggested. "That seems to help some people."
Robin seemed to collapse at the suggestion and wrapped her arms tightly around Maryl"s legs. "I can do it," she repeated. "Please, don"t land on my account."
Maryl"s indecision was made more difficult by the look of amused nonchalance of the pilot. A gust of wind ruffled her hair and she realized they were finally moving away from the take-off zone. The pilot used the burners to lift them higher in the layer of moving air. Dropping her hand to Robin"s hair, she looked down as Robin lifted her eyes.
"Please, Maryl. This really is better." Robin"s grip seemed to relax a bit. "I sure wouldn"t mind something to drink, but I"m okay."
The pilot crouched down and dug into a wicker basket at his feet. "I"ve got just the thing." He pulled out a small silver flask and held it out to Robin. "Brandy. Good stuff, too. Not swill."
Robin reached for it gratefully. "Thanks, but who"s flying this thing?"
"G.o.d," he grinned. "Relax. I promise not to crash today."
Robin twisted the lid from the flask. "Do I have your word on that?"
"My life." He patted Robin"s knee, then squeezed Maryl"s arm and turned his back as he rested his hand on the burner.
Maryl cupped her hand around the side of Robin"s face as she drank deeply of the brandy. She could see the lines of tension around the dim brown eyes and her skin was pale. She couldn"t imagine the courage it had taken to climb aboard, not to mention her determination to see it through.
Except for the occasional roar of the burners, it was totally quiet. They weren"t going anywhere fast so she crouched next to Robin. "Why did you agree to come with me?" she asked quietly. "All you had to do was tell me. I would never have asked you to do this if I"d known how hard it would be for you."
Robin drank from the flask before answering. "I had to come."
"Why?"
"How could I ask any less of myself than I ask of you?"
Maryl didn"t understand. "What are you talking about?"
"You"re only asking me to accompany you for 50 minutes. I"m asking for 50 years."
"The two aren"t comparable, Robin."
"I know." Robin reached out and put a cold hand to Maryl"s cheek. "It"s much scarier to risk your heart than your life."
Maryl gaped as Robin"s logic sorted itself out in her head. That Robin felt her own current terror was less than Maryl"s seemed absurd, but she seemed to genuinely believe it. Maryl stood up and swept her gaze over the landscape.
This doesn"t scare me at all. I can"t even guess how far off the ground I am, but it doesn"t matter. I feel completely safe and secure. But Robin is paralyzed by it and it seems that she"s trying to tell me that she sees our relationship in the same terms. When she looks at a future with me, she feels like I do when I look at all this beauty around me. And when it comes to our future, I"m the one cowering on the floor. Is that possible? Is that really how she sees me? Is my heart really paralyzed by irrational fear? Does she look at me and wish there were just one thing she could say that would make me feel safe?
Knowing she would have to take some time to think about it, Maryl made a decision. She reached out to touch the pilot"s arm and silently indicated that he should take them down. He nodded his a.s.sent. Maryl had already seen the best part of the experience. The rest was unnecessary. What mattered now was alleviating Robin"s distress.
Twenty minutes later, she was sitting next to Robin in the gra.s.s, watching the balloon rise into the morning sky.
"We didn"t have to land."
"Yes, we did."
"I know you were excited about this flight, Maryl. I"m sorry you felt like you had to cut it short."
"I"m not. I got what I wanted out of it."
The roar of the balloon"s burner seemed to accentuate the stillness of the dawn. Maryl tipped her head back and took a deep breath, feeling the crisp air deep inside her lungs.
"Are you upset with me?"
She turned to look at Robin"s worried face. "I"m really not. I got to go up in a hot air balloon and see the sunrise. It"s not how long I got to ride in the balloon that"s important to me."
"You"re sure?"
"Positive."
"You seem...pensive."
Maryl took one of Robin"s hands in her own, content just to be touching her. "Maybe I am, just a little. I"m letting things percolate for the moment, but I"m not upset or disappointed. I promise."
"Okay."
The ground crew for the balloon had everything packed up now and Maryl waved to them as they headed out in pursuit. Soon, there were no sounds at all but nature waking up and two women breathing. Maryl let the serenity of it seep into her soul and closed her eyes.
In the last weeks, Maryl had seen Robin every day. Sometimes it was only for a short time, but they made up for it by talking on the phone for hours every night before bed. Just for the fun of spending time with the older woman, Maryl had joined her in the Monday night pottery cla.s.s and they were having a blast. In a surprising turn of events, Maryl turned out to be the one with a knack for feeling what the clay could become. Robin did all right, of course, but Maryl"s pottery had what seemed to be a touch of art. She was thinking about taking more advanced cla.s.ses as they became available.
It was becoming harder and harder for Maryl to imagine not having Robin in her life. Still, they had not made love since the camping trip. That was not to say that they didn"t torment each other relentlessly with pa.s.sionate kisses and fiery touches. But, it was the talking that drew them closest. It had never been like this for Maryl with any other woman she had known.
Maryl had been very upset when she learned that Robin had moved to Edgewater to pursue her, but everything that had happened since then had seemed so inevitable. Just like when they met at the park and Maryl had almost immediately taken Robin"s hand. She had been fighting against a relationship with her mind, but she was beginning to see that her heart had known all along.
Just to see what it was like, Maryl tentatively opened her heart, her mind and her soul to a lifetime commitment with the woman at her feet. Something inside her mind shifted with an almost audible chime and for one agonizingly pure moment, her being expanded to include the universe. Her heart skipped a beat and then everything settled into a new configuration. Maryl took a deep breath and realized that she could feel Robin within herself. Somehow her heart now included Robin: not in addition to what was already there, but as an indistinguishable part of herself. The future spread out before her and every dream she"d ever entertained became possible.
Robin was The One. There was no longer any doubt. None of the other women she had ever thought she loved had ever felt this way. None of them had touched her so deeply or shared so fully. None had ever made the sacrifices Robin had or shown the patience Robin gave her routinely. Somehow, she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Robin was the one woman in all the world that she could love and trust until the end of time.
Why it had been so difficult to arrive at this moment was a mystery to her. Now that she had opened herself to a future with Robin it seemed ridiculous that she had not done it immediately. There were so many things to talk about, so many choices to be examined. One issue, however, she knew needed to be settled at once.
"I want the left side of the bed," she said clearly, her eyes on the horizon. She felt Robin turn towards her in confusion and waited for her response.
"The left side?" Robin"s voice was uncertain, but dripping with hope.
To avoid any misunderstandings later, Maryl explained. "If you stand at the foot of the bed and face the head, I want the left side."
"But, I always sleep on the left."
"Not anymore," she said firmly. She smiled as Robin hugged her hard enough to leave bruises.
"Okay," Robin conceded with tears in her voice. "But the left side is responsible for the phone and the alarm clock."
"Deal."
"And Rupert can"t sleep with us."
Maryl neglected to mention that Rupert never slept on the bed when there were two people in it. "Will you explain that to him?"
"Yes."
Maryl"s eyes filled with tears and she let them fall unchecked. "I"m going to hold you to fifty years, you know."
"It won"t always be good, Maryl."
She looked into Robin"s tear streaked face. "It"ll be worth it." Robin pulled her closer and their lips met in a promise.
"Marry me," Robin whispered into her mouth.
Tears spilled out of Maryl"s eyes. They blurred her vision, but she was no longer looking with her eyes. She was seeing through her heart.
FORTY-TWO WEEKS LATER.
ROBIN AWOKE, FEELING rested and eager to start the day. Putting her arms above her head, she stretched to get all the kinks out. Her feet could feel pressure on the blankets and she opened her eyes expecting to see Rupert beside her on the bed. It was Maryl. She was sitting cross-legged in her birthday suit, staring. Robin smiled uncertainly. "Good morning."
"You"re still here."
Robin glanced around the room for a clue, but none were obvious. "Shouldn"t I be?"
"I don"t know. Are you happy?"
Robin began to understand. She let a genuine, languid smile bloom on her face before answering. "I did not know that it was possible to be as happy as I am. I"m not leaving, baby. Not ever."
Maryl"s smile came with tears and she crawled over to lay on Robin, small hands framing the angular face. "You"re still here," she repeated in wonder.
Robin ran her hands down the length of smooth back above her and rested them on Maryl"s a.s.s. "I love you desperately. You"ll need a court order to get rid of me."
After a long, slow, loving kiss, Maryl folded her arms across Robin"s chest and put her chin on them. "Since you"re going to stay, there"s a couple of things I want to run by you."
Robin ran her fingers through the long blond hair and shifted her head so she could look into blue eyes. "I"m ready. Let"s hear it."
"First, I want to spend all day in bed with you to celebrate my longest relationship ever."
Robin pretended to think it over. "I suppose I could live with that."
Maryl grinned. "Good answer."
"Next?"