Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru

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"It"s definitely not green."

8:02 A.M.; At the departure of the special express train "Wing Number" this happened to be the first line that was said by Hime.

"No, Hime. Just because the car is referred to as green, it doesn"t have to actually be green[1]."

"Is it wrong? Then, what is it?"

"Uh..."

Strange, now that I thought about it, I didn"t know either.

"You don"t know? Then, as a punishment, can you hold me?"

"No, I don"t understand your logic."

"How about a green hold?"

"I don"t understand the green on that."

Ah— This was so relaxing, these interactions with Hime that didn"t make much sense.

Behind me Masuzu gave a loud "cough" and cleared her throat.

"Please don"t stand in the entrance. You"re blocking the pa.s.sengers behind us."

"Oh, sorry."

I poked at Hime"s back to urge her forward, and then followed behind her. Our seats were in the innermost compartment of the carriage number eight.

"The inside of the green car is really empty, perhaps this car was reserved for us?"

"There are still a lot of people lined up on the platform—"

Said Masuzu, Fuyuumi and Chiwa who looked back outside the car.

Even though this was my first time taking a green car, I never expected it to be this empty.

I really had to thank Saeko-san later. She said, "everything will be a company expenditure", so she handled the booking of our five tickets.

And because she had a shift today, she arranged to meet us on the spot tomorrow by noon.

The train was expected to arrive at Funase station at 9:05 A.M., and for a party of four women and one man, there were still a few minutes before departure.

So—

Our seats were in the last row, A to E. Counting in order from the window, there were three seats, A, B, and C. Across that were two seats, D and E. All the other rows were two-seaters, and only the last row was designed for groups of five members.

As expected of Saeko-san, she had considered our number while booking tickets.

"—So, who will be sitting next to Ei-kun?"

Chiwa fired the first shot and thus opened the game to fight over the seats.

"Why don"t we just sit according to what"s printed on the ticket?"

Incidentally, I got the ticket for seat D, and the person sitting next to me who had the ticket for seat E was Masuzu.

"But wouldn"t it be boring that way?"

When Chiwa made that remark, Fuyuumi and Hime unanimously agreed, "Yeah—". What"s with these girls? They are in total synchro.

Masuzu tilted her head with an "Eh?".

"I so happen to be his girlfriend. Isn"t it obvious that we"ll take human relationships into account when a.s.signing the seats?"

"There"s no such thing. My house is next door to his, so I"m equally qualified."

"In my past life, we were also neighbors, so I"m also eligible."

Well, there"s nothing to say about Chiwa, but this is the first time I hear this setting from Hime. This is definitely something she just made up!

"I sat next to him in Star Cla.s.s in kindergarten, so I"m also qualified."

Fuyuumi casually added. Was what she said true? I honestly couldn"t remember anything about it.

"Hey, forget whether it"s a matter of where you live, or past lives, or Star Cla.s.s, I don"t think this has anything to do with train seats."

The three of them turned a deaf ear to my complaints, and all of them placed their glares on Masuzu.

Amazingly, this situation seemed to be Masuzu VS. the rest of the world. Why was it like that? If they wanted to fight over the seats, shouldn"t it be a battle royale?

Because I couldn"t just let them stand there, I took all the tickets, shuffled them, and had the four of them draw the tickets like cards.

In order from the A seat, Fuyuumi, Hime, Chiwa —

"In the end,I am Girlfriend is justicejustice."

Masuzu drew the E seat next to mine, and she held the ticket with an air of victory and pride. In contrast, the other three had a displeased look on their faces.

Things that are meant to be, seemed to just turn out the same.

If we take our objective of demonstrating the "boyfriend and girlfriend relationship" into account, Masuzu sitting next to me was a great result.

I communicated to Masuzu after we sat down with a few glances.

——Do you understand? Eita.

——Leave it to me, I"ll make these lovestruck people feel inferior.

With maximum power output, I put on a shining smile.

"Hey, honey. Let me help you to get your luggage up on the rack—"

"Thank you very much♪ You"re always so sweet to me."

"This is the least I can do for you—"

Even though it felt a little bit like a forced dialogue in a script, I had to dance to the tunes of being her boyfriend.

"Eita-kun, after we arrive, want to go for a walk on the beach?"

"Sure— And then let"s watch the sunset together afterwards— That"s just like something lovers would do—"

"Fufufu, that"s a given, right? After all, we are a lovers."

"Yeah, that"s right— Hahahaha—"

As if it wanted to overlap with the laughter, the bell tone of the train sounded.

The car swayed slightly and began to travel forward.

At this moment—

"Kya— I-It"s shaking—♪"

Across the aisle, Chiwa slid into my knees like a landslide as if her body was wildly thrown.

"Sorry! Ei-kun, I was thrown a little out of balance!"

"O-Oh, are you okay?"

I helped the "hehehe" laughing Chiwa back to her seat.

Did, at any point, the car shake so dramatically that it would cause people to fall from their seats?

I revived the mood that was going on and turned back to Masuzu.

"If not that, then we could go to the beach and look for sh.e.l.ls. That"s also very romantic. If you happen to find a pink sh.e.l.l, then I"ll have a little present for you—"

"Kya— the earth is shaking~"

This time it was Hime.

Hime swayed back and forth like a willow tree and snuggled against me, hugging my neck.

Why did she change seats with Chiwa?

"What"s wrong, Hime? Did something happen?"

"Mother EarthGaia was wounded by the Evil Dragon ClanWyvern"s attack, so why don"t you hold me?"

I refuse!

"That being said, the car isn"t actually shaking much. Aren"t we traveling quite smoothly?"

"I disagree. The Evil Dragon ClanWyvern"s Darkness Green TechniqueTestament is crushing the earth"s vibrations. My sensors have detected this."

"Aaah— Enough, I get it!"

I tore the hugging Hime off of me and returned her to her seat like Chiwa earlier.

Masuzu could not help but frown.

"Just what kind of ruckus have they been making for a while?"

"I want to know that too!"

At this point, I sensed "something" moving.

I immediately turned around, and was surprised to find Fuyuumi had already shifted to where Hime was sitting earlier. Even though she was casually looking away, her body was slightly leaning towards my side.

"Hey, why did you change your seat?"

"Because Hime-chan said she wanted to check the view from the window."

Even though she replied like this, she didn"t look me in the eyes.

"I see…"

I can see it, the plan of these girls.

I originally thought Fuyuumi"s and Chiwa"s relationships were incompatible as fire and water, but actually they had reached a consensus thanks to the point of being "anti-Masuzu"… They even got Hime caught up in it.

So, last night when she was on the phone with Chiwa, it turned out they were actually planning a detailed how to "split" battle plan.

How could I have antic.i.p.ated an event like this?!

"[...]"

"[...]"

Gloomy silence muddled between us.

I stared intently at the side of Fuyuumi"s face and continued to use my eyes in order to pin down this girl"s "shaking".

"…Kya—"

"Nothing. Is. Shaking."

"Kya—"

"I"m telling you that NOTHING. IS. SHAKING. HN—!"

Please lend me strength, Yamamoto-kun! HNNN—!

"It"s definitely not "not shaking"! It"s really shaking a lot!"

Fuyuumi pointed to her two companions.

Chiwa and Hime cried, "iiiiiiit"s shakiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!", as they shook at high frequency in their own seats… It was more accurate to call it trembling. What was this? Did they activate their vibration mode?

At this moment, the train actually shook a little.

Because I was staring at Fuyuumi, she used all her strength to prevent herself from falling over, but it turned out Masuzu next to me took the opportunity to lean against my shoulder.

"Are you okay, Masuzu?"

"I"m fine, it"s all thanks to Eita-kun stopping me with an embrace."

Masuzu"s sweet smile was three times cuter than usual.

On the other hand, the vibration mode trio started fighting amongst themselves almost immediately.

"Hey, Ai! What are you staring at? That was obviously a good chance!"

"Master, I was wrong about you. You should have struck more deeply."

"I-It can"t be helped! It was too sudden! And I was opposed to this plan from the very start!"

"Eh— How can you say that?!"

It looked like the alliance between my childhood friend, ex-girlfriend, and fiancée was actually quite fragile.

♦

After all the commotion calmed down, it finally felt like we could hold a normal conversation.

Chiwa and the others had apparently given up on "internal infighting". Hime played on her handheld device, Chiwa was eating mouthfuls of snacks, and Fuyuumi was reading. Each of them were doing their favorite thing.

Even though I was deliberately acting intimate with Masuzu— After ten minutes, it seemed like we didn"t have anything to talk about.

In fact, we rarely had common topics.

The only interest we share in common was "JoJo"s Bizarre Adventures". But even if we talked about JoJo, we couldn"t act as if we were madly in love. Masuzu was overzealous about it, it"s enough for her to see road roller[2] and get emotionally excited about it, or she"ll do deep a.n.a.lysis on how the most powerful stand in Part IV was actually HARVEST[3], and stuff like that. No matter how you looked at it, it wasn"t dialogue befitting a loving couple.

"By the way…"

Maybe because she sensed that I felt disturbed from having nothing to talk about, Masuzu took the initiative instead.

"Recently, I saw "Magure Punishment Extreme". "

"Eeh, for real?!"

This really made me happy! She even said she was "not interested" and "didn"t care" before.

"Even though I didn"t really watch it on TV, but since it"s the TV drama that Eita likes, I thought I"d take a look at it."

"Are you really interested in knowing my preferences? I"m really fortunate to be your boyfriend!"

Perhaps aware that we were talking very animatedly, Chiwa and the rest looked at us with wet eyes. Awesome, it"s going pretty well, so lets keep up with this!

"But, if you start from the middle, won"t the plot be difficult to understand?"

"Yeah, so I went to the rental store to get it. However, since the television version was all taken out, I rented the film version instead.

"...Hu-oh~"

I smiled wryly. Instead of seeing nothing, she ended up seeing that—

"What? What do you mean by "Hu-oh~"?"

"Well, when we"re talking about the film version..."

Okay.

To the heart of this, "Maguke" beginner, Masuzu, I, the pro. boyfriend, will carefully explain everything!

"I think whenever a TV series is adapted into a film, there are always some subtle differences. But in the case of Maguke, it"s really bad. It"s not only subtle, it"s extremely bad. The strong points of the TV drama were completely sacrificed. First of all, the scripting was a mistake, because it failed to describe real people. "Maguke"s" theme is " why would a person commit a crime", but the motive of the criminal in the movie is only that he "wanted money"! Thus, he attacked banks one after another. You get a lot more actions scenes, right? It might have looked really good on the big screens in a cinema, but were Maguke fans really hoping for this? It should be that he wanted money, rather it should have been why he wanted the money, right? For example, in order to pay for the surgery costs of his sick mother, or because loan sharks abducted his girlfriend, or maybe because in order to keep a company afloat, they used counterfeit checks in order to prevent their employees and family members from living on the streets, you get the idea. If you don"t show these motives, what are they doing?! I thought they were describe these things things in the conclusion, so I had the patience to watch the entire thing, but who expected that the criminal would be hit and fall into the sea! And then it ended! I couldn"t keep watching! I really couldn"t bear it. The other bad thing about the film version is the boss, since he was a hot guy wearing gla.s.ses and came from the hall. Yeah, why did they have to deviate from the TV version here? They said it was due to the schedule being inconvenient for the actor, but you can"t just change them— A local police force and a calm trained elite, these core values opposing each other are the charm of "Maguke". They simply didn"t understand. And another point, even though this is a small matter, but the actor who sang the opening theme was actually Johnny"s actor. What"s with that? What were they doing? Well, I know that the movie has to attract viewers, I understand that, but "Maguke" isn"t the kind of drama that"s targeted at female high school students. So in order to attract that customer base, they would let Johnny sing, I understand that too. But even if I get it... Aargh, I can"t stand it! "Maguke"s" theme should be something deep and richly sung by some uncle voice! No, even if you remove the vocals itself, it doesn"t matter if it were just an instrumental. With "Maguke" being this kind of shadowy narrative story, there"s no reason to use some kind of frilly song. Giggling and dancing while singing, "I want to hold your eyes", ~~stupid, right? If it was for the purpose of doing business at the cost of undermining the fans of "Maguke", we"d really get angry. And if we actually got angry, the feeling will be like, h.e.l.lo there—? Ahh, no matter how I say it, I"d be like a crazy Afghani (laughs). I"m absolutely not like that, I just want to be an ordinary fan, that"s all… (wry smile). Whatever, I might as well just support this film a little, as a fan of the series. This film does have things worth seeing. The film was made after the first season ended, but it included actors that later appeared in the second and third season. Did you notice? Did you? Well, you did see it for the first time, so it might have been hard to notice, so you can just leave it to experts like me to explain. First, the actress for the bank attendant whom the gun was pointed at during the robbery. She ended up appearing as the criminal during the second seasons" three words. She"s the only actress who has played both, a victim and a criminal, in the same series! That"s a small piece of trivia (laughs). There"s also the background music when the main character loses the hostage. It"s really good, right? It"s really captivating. The song eventually became the theme song of the second season of "Maguke"! It"s a really good piece of music, both deep and vigorous. That song actually appeared for the first time in the film, and this is often an exam question (laughs). There"s also—"

"Errr? Masuzu?"

When I realized it, I finally noticed Masuzu was actually staring out the window with a blank stare.

She was reading this:

"Tanaka construction company, Hanamaru"s meat, Minato timber plant—"

"Hey...?"

"#132 county road, winner"s turn, lunch for ¥590, earn back what"s been paid too much for, Kutsurogi"s inn GRAND OPENING."

I finally noticed.

"Y-You"ve been reading the signs that we pa.s.s?"

Was… Was my topic really that boring?

"M-Masuzu-san? Were you really not interested in what I was just talking about?"

"We also buy broken bikes, GOGO"S root mound shop, HEAVEN ELEVEN, language hall bookstore."

"Sorry! I accidentally got carried away! I apologize. Please forgive me!"

I bowed my head, but Masuzu only continued to read signs.

"Irrelevant knowledge food (Ltd), DANNY"S irrelevant knowledge shop, irrelevant knowledge the workers—"

"N-No! My knowledge is not irrelevant!"

Pretending to read signs to make fun of her boyfriend, this was really advanced for a poisonous tongue!

"Swiss Bank Tax Branch irrelevant, irrelevant sushi, irrelevant clinic, irrelevant sea ——————the sea."

"Huh?"

"The sea, it"s here."

I quickly lifted my head and found that the view Masuzu was gazing upon was—

"Ooooooh, it"s here! It"s the sea—————!"

I couldn"t help but cheer.

The bright blue sky, the sunlight that was being reflected and thus shined off the waves, and the beach blooming with all sorts of colorful umbrellas. This scene unfolded behind the window before us.

"Wow, awesome—! So beautiful—!"

"Fufun, it doesn"t look bad at all."

Chiwa and Fuyuumi leaned over, expressing excitement as they surveyed the sea.

But since Hime was asleep holding her handheld game—

"Hey, Hime, get up! It"s the sea!"

I shook her shoulders, and Hime opened her eyes with a pop.

"Sea? Where?"

"Not on the window on that side, on this side, this side."

I changed seats with Hime, and she immediately stared out the window, her body stiff.

Her widened eyes seemed to dazzle and shine.

"How is it, your first time seeing the sea?"

Hime didn"t take her gaze off the window, but with a voice loud and clear, she said:

"I want to compress it with ZIP!"