"There, there," he said, in the kindest manner of which he was capable, "what are you going to do now? You can"t be going out again in this state and in this weather, can you?"
"Yes, I am," Ernest answered feebly. "I"m going to walk home at once to Holloway."
"To Holloway!" the sub-editor said in a tone of comparative horror. "Oh! no, I can"t allow that. Wait here an hour or two till the workmen"s trains begin running. Or, stay; Lancaster left his brougham here for me to-night, as I have to be off early to-morrow on business; I"ll send you home in that, and let Hawkins get me a cab from the mews by order."
Ernest made no resistance; and so the sub-editor sent him home at once in Lancaster"s brougham.
When he got home in the early grey of morning, he found Edie still sitting up for him in her chair, and wondering what could be detaining him so long at the newspaper office. He threw himself wildly at her feet, and, in such broken sentences as he was able to command, he told her all the pitiful story. Edie soothed him and kissed him as he went along, but never said a word for good or evil till he had finished.
"It was a terrible temptation, darling," she said softly: "a terrible temptation, indeed, and I don"t wonder you gave way to it; but we mustn"t touch the three guineas. As you say rightly, it"s blood-money."
Ernest drew the cheque slowly from his pocket, and held it hesitatingly a moment in his hand. Edie looked at him curiously.
"What are you going to do with it, darling?" she asked in a low voice, as he gazed vacantly at the last dying embers in the little smouldering fireplace.
"Nothing, Edie dearest," Ernest answered huskily, folding it up and putting it away in the drawer by the window. They neither of them dared to look the other in the face, but they had not the heart to burn it boldly. It was blood-money, to be sure; but three guineas are really so very useful!
Four days later, little Dot was taken with a sudden illness. Ernest and Edie sat watching by her little cradle throughout the night, and saw with heavy hearts that she was rapidly growing feebler. Poor wee soul, they had nothing to keep her for: it would be better, perhaps, if she were gone; and yet, the human heart cannot be stifled by such calm deliverances of practical reason; it WILL let its hot emotions overcome the cold calculations of better and worse supplied it by the unbia.s.sed intellect.
All night long they sat there tearfully, fearing she would not live till morning; and in the early dawn they sent round hastily for a neighbouring doctor. They had no money to pay him with, to be sure; but that didn"t much matter; they could leave it over for the present, and perhaps some day before long Ernest might write another social, and earn an honest three guineas. Anyhow, it was a question of life and death, and they could not help sending for the doctor, whatever difficulty they might afterwards find in paying him.
The doctor came, and looked with the usual professional seriousness at the baby patient. Did they feed her entirely on London milk? he asked doubtfully. Yes, entirely. Ah! then that was the sole root of the entire mischief. She was very dangerously ill, no doubt, and he didn"t know whether he could pull her through anyhow; but if anything would do it, it was a change to goat"s milk. There was a man who sold goat"s milk round the corner. He would show Ernest where to find him.
Ernest looked doubtfully at Edie, and Edie looked back again at Ernest. One thought rose at once in both their minds. They had no money to pay for it with, except--except that dreadful cheque.
For four days it had lain, burning a hole in Ernest"s heart from its drawer by the window, and he had not dared to change it. Now he rose without saying a word, and opened the drawer in a solemn, hesitating fashion. He looked once more at Edie inquiringly; Edie nodded a faint approval. Ernest, pale as death, put on his hat, and went out totteringly with the doctor. He stopped on the way to change the cheque at the baker"s where they usually dealt, and then went on to the goat"s milk shop. How that sovereign he flung upon the counter seemed to ring the knell of his seif-respect! The man who changed it noticed the strangeness of Ernest"s look, and knew at once he had not come by the money honestly. He rang it twice to make sure it was good, and then gave the change to Ernest. But Dot, at least, was saved; that was a great thing. The milk arrived duly every morning for some weeks, and, after a severe struggle, Dot grew gradually better. While the danger lasted, neither of them dared think much of the cheque; but when Dot had got quite well again, Ernest was conscious of a certain unwonted awkwardness of manner in talking to Edie. He knew perfectly well what it meant; they were both accomplices in crime together.
When Ernest wrote his "social" after Max Schurz"s affair, he felt he had already touched the lowest depths of degradation. He knew now that he had touched a still lower one. Oh! horrible abyss of self-abas.e.m.e.nt!--he had taken the blood-money. And yet, it was to save Dot"s life! Herbert was right, after all: quite right. Yes, yes, all hope was gone: the environment had finally triumphed.
In the awful self-reproach of that deadly remorse for the acceptance of the blood-money, Ernest Le Breton felt at last in his heart that surely the bitterness of death was past. It would be better for them all to die together than to live on through such a life of shame and misery. Ah, Peter, Peter, you are not the only one that has denied his Lord and Master!
And yet, Ernest Le Breton had only written part of a newspaper leader about a small revolt of the Bodahls. And he suffered more agony for it than many a sensitive man, even, has suffered for the commission of some obvious crime.
"I say, Berkeley," Lancaster droned out in the lobby of their club one afternoon shortly afterwards, "what on earth am I ever to do about that socialistic friend of yours, Le Breton? I can"t ever give him any political work again, you know. Just fancy! first, you remember, I set him upon the Schurz imprisonment business, and he nearly went mad then because I didn"t back up Schurz for wanting to murder the Emperor of Russia. After that, just now the other day, I tried him on the Bodahl business, and hang me if he didn"t have qualms of conscience about it afterwards, and trudge back through all the snow that awful Tuesday, to see if he couldn"t induce Wilks to stop the press, and let him cut it all out at the last moment!
He"s as mad as a March hare, you know, and if it weren"t that I"m really sorry for him I wouldn"t go on taking socials from him any longer. But I will; I"ll give him work as long as he"ll do it for me on any terms; though, of course, it"s obviously impossible under the circ.u.mstances to let him have another go at politics, isn"t it?"
"You"re really awfully kind, Lancaster," Berkeley answered warmly.
"No other fellow would do as much for Le Breton as you do. I admit he"s absolutely impracticable, but I would give more than I can tell you if only I thought he could be made to pull through somehow."
"Impracticable!" the editor said shortly, "I believe you, indeed.
Why, do you remember that ridiculous Schurz business? Well, I sent Le Breton a cheque for eight guineas for that lot, and can you credit it, it"s remained uncashed from that day to this. I really think he must have destroyed it."
"No doubt," Arthur answered, with a smile. "And the Bodahls? What about them?"
"Oh! he kept that cheque for a few days uncashed--though I"m sure he wanted money at the time; but in the end, I"m happy to say, he cashed it."
Arthur"s countenance fell ominously.
"He did!" he said gloomily. "He cashed it! That"s bad news indeed, then. I must go and see them to-morrow morning early. I"m afraid they must be at the last pitch of poverty before they"d consent to do that. And yet, Solomon says, men do not despise a thief if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry. And Le Breton, after all, has a wife and child to think of."
Lancaster stared at him blankly, and turned aside to glance at the telegrams, saying to himself meanwhile, that all these young fellows of the new school alike were really quite too incomprehensible for a sensible, practical man like himself to deal with comfortably.
CHAPTER x.x.xI.
DE PROFUNDIS.
After all Ernest didn"t get many more socials to write for the "Morning Intelligence," as it happened; for the war that came on shortly after crowded such trifles as socials fairly out of all the papers, and he had harder work than ever to pick up a precarious living somehow by the most casual possible contributions. Of course he tried many other channels; but he had few introductions, and then his views were really so absurdly ultra that no reasonable editor could ever be expected to put up with them. He got tired at last of seeing his well-meant papers return to him, morning after morning, with the unvarying legend, "Declined with thanks;" and he might have gone to the wall utterly but for the kindly interest which Arthur Berkeley still took in his and Edie"s future. On the very day after his conversation with Lancaster at the club Arthur dropped round casually at Holloway, and brought with him a proposal which he said had just been made him by a colonial newsagent. It was a transparent little ruse enough; but Ernest and Edie were not learned in the ways of the world and did not suspect it so readily as older and wiser heads might probably have done. Would Ernest supply a fortnightly letter, to go by the Australian mail, to the Paramatta "Chronicle and News," containing London political and social gossip of a commonplace kind--just the petty chit-chat he could pick up easily out of "Truth" and the "World"--for the small sum of thirty shillings a letter?
Yes, Ernest thought he could manage that.
Very well, then. The letter must be sent on alternate Wednesdays to the colonial newsagent"s address, and it would be duly forwarded by mail to the office of the Paramatta "Chronicle." A little suspicious, that item, Berkeley thought, but Ernest swallowed it like a child and made no comment. It must be addressed to "Paramatta, care of Lane & Co.," and the payments would be made fortnightly through the same agency. Arthur watched his friend"s face narrowly at this point again; but Ernest in his simple-minded, unsuspecting way, never noticed the obvious meaning of this little deception.
He thanked Arthur over and over again for his kindness, but he never guessed how far it extended. The letters kept him employed for two days a week, or thereabouts, and though they never got to Paramatta, nor any farther than Arthur Berkeley"s own study in the little house he had taken for himself at Chelsea, they were regularly paid for through the colonial newsagents, by means of a cheque which really owed its ultimate origin to Arthur Berkeley himself. Fifteen shillings a week is not a large fortune, certainly; but still it is considerably better than nothing, when you come to try both methods of living by practical experience.
Even so, however, Ernest and Edie had a hard struggle, with their habits of life and Ernest"s delicate health, to make both ends meet upon that modest income. They found the necessity for recourse to the imaginary p.a.w.nbroker growing upon them with alarming rapidity; and though the few small articles that they sent out for that purpose never really went beyond kind Mrs. Halliss"s kitchen dresser, yet so far as Ernest and Edie were concerned, the effect was much the same as if they had been really pledged to the licensed broker.
The good woman hid them away carefully in the back drawers of the dresser, sending up as much money for the poor little trinkets as she thought it at all credible that any man in his senses could possibly advance--if she had given altogether too much, she thought it probable that even the unsuspicious Le Bretons would detect the kindly deception--at the time remarking to John that "if ever them pore dear young creechurs was able to redeem "em again, why, well an" good; an" if not, why, they could just find some excuse to give "em back to the dear lady after pore Mr. Le Breting was dead an" gone, as he must be, no doubt, afore many months was over."
What wretched stuff that is that some narrow-minded cynics love to talk, after their cheap moralising fashion, about the coldness and cruelty of the world! The world is not cold and cruel; it is br.i.m.m.i.n.g over everywhere with kindliness and warmth of heart; and you have only got to put yourself into the proper circ.u.mstances in order to call forth at once on every hand, and in all cla.s.ses, its tenderest and truest sympathies. None but selfish, unsympathetic people themselves ever find it otherwise in the day of trouble. It is not the world that is cold and heartless--it is not the individual members of the world that are cruel and unkind--it is the relentless march of circ.u.mstances--the faulty organisation which none of us can control, and for which none of us is personally responsible, that grinds us to powder under its Juggernaut wheels. Private kindliness is for ever trying, feebly and unsuccessfully, but with its best efforts, to undo the evil that general mismanagement is for ever perpetrating in its fateful course.
One day, a few weeks later, Arthur Berkeley called in again, and on the stairs he met a child playing--a neighbour"s child whom good Mrs. Halliss allowed to come in and amuse herself while the mother went out charing. The girl had a bright gold object in her hand; and Arthur, wondering how she came by it, took it from her and looked at it curiously. He recognised it in a moment for what it was--a gold bracelet, a well remembered gold bracelet--the very one that he himself had given as a wedding present to poor Edie.
He turned it over and looked closely at the inside: cut into the soft gold he saw the one word "Frustra," that he himself had carved into it with his penknife the night before the memorable wedding.
"Where did you get this?" he asked the child.
"Mrs. "Alliss give it me," the little one answered, beginning to cry.
Arthur ran lightly down the steps again, and knocked at the door of Mrs. Halliss"s kitchen, with the tell-tale bracelet in his hand.
Mrs. Halliss opened the dcor to him respectfully, and after a faint attempt at innocent prevarication, felt bound to let out all the pitiful little secret without further preamble. So Arthur, good, kind-hearted, delicate-souled Arthur, took his seat sadly upon one of the hard wooden kitchen chairs, and waited patiently while Mrs.
Halliss and honest John, in their roundabout inarticulate fashion, slowly unfolded the story how them two pore young creechurs upstairs had been druv that low through want of funs that Mrs. Le Breting, G.o.d bless "er "eart, "ad "ad to p.a.w.n her poor little bits of jewelry and such like: and how they "adn"t "ad the face to go an"
p.a.w.n it for her, and so "ad locked it up in their drawers, and waited hopefully for better times. Arthur listened to all this with an aching heart, and went home alone to ponder on the best way of still further a.s.sisting them.
The only thing that occurred to him was a plan for giving Edie, too, a little relief, in the way of what she might suppose to be money-getting occupation. She used to paint a little in water-colours, he remembered, in the old days; so he put an advertis.e.m.e.nt in a morning paper, which he got Mrs. Halliss to show Edie, asking for drawings of orchids, the flowers to be supplied and accurately copied by an amateur at a reasonable price. Edie fell into the harmless friendly trap readily enough, and was duly supplied with orchids by a florist in Regent Street, who professed to receive his instructions from the advertiser. The pictures were all produced in due time, and were sent to a fixed address, where a gentleman in a hansom used to call for them at regular intervals. Arthur Berkeley kept those poor little water-colours long afterwards locked up in a certain drawer all by themselves: they were sacred mementoes to him of that old hopeless love for the little Miss b.u.t.terfly of his Oxford days.
With the very first three guineas that Edie earned, carefully saved and h.o.a.rded out of her payments for the water-colours, she insisted in the pride of her heart that Ernest should go and visit a great London consulting physician. Sir Antony Wraxall was the best specialist in town on the subject of consumption, she had heard, and she was quite sure so clever a man must do Ernest a great deal of good, if he didn"t even permanently cure him.
"It"s no use, Edie darling," Ernest said to her imploringly. "You"ll only be wasting your hard-earned money. What I want is not advice or medicine; I want what no doctor on earth can possibly give me--relief from this terrible crushing responsibility."
But Edie would bear no refusal. It was HER money, she said, the first she had ever earned in her whole life, and she should certainly do as she herself liked with it. Sir Antony Wraxall, she was quite confident, would soon be able to make him better.
So Ernest, overborne by her intreaties, yielded at last, and made an appointment with Sir Antony Wraxall. He took his quarter-hour in due form, and told the great physician all his symptoms as though he believed in the foolish farce. Sir Antony held his head solemnly on one side, weighed him with puritanical scrupulosity to a quarter of an ounce on his delicate balance, listened attentively at the chest with his silver-mounted stethoscope, and perpended the net result of his investigation with professional gravity; then he gave Edie his full advice and opinion to the maximum extent of five minutes.
"Your husband"s case is not a hopeful one, Mrs. Le Breton," he said solemnly, "but still, a great deal may be done for him." Edie"s face brightened visibly. "With care, his life may be prolonged for many years,--I may even say, indeed, quite indefinitely." Edie smiled with joy and grat.i.tude. "But you must strictly observe my rules and directions--the same that I"ve just given in a similar case to the Crown Prince of Servia who was here before you. In the first place, your husband must give up work altogether. He must be content to live perfectly and absolutely idle. Then, secondly, he must live quite away from England. I should recommend the Engadine in summer, and Algeria or the Nile trip every winter; but, if that"s beyond your means--and I understand from Mr. Le Breton that you"re in somewhat straitened circ.u.mstances--I don"t object to Catania, or Malaga, or even Mentone and the Riviera. You can rent furnished villas for very little on the Riviera. But he must in no case come farther north, even in summer, than the Lake of Geneva. That, I a.s.sure you, is quite indispensable, if he wishes to live another twelvemonth. Take him south at once, in a coupe-lit of course, and break the journey once or twice at Lyons and Ma.r.s.eilles. Next, as to diet, he must live generously--very generously. Don"t let him drink claret; claret"s poor sour stuff; a pint of good champagne daily, or a good, full-bodied, genial vintage Burgundy would be far better and more digestible for him. Oysters, game, sweetbreads, red mullet, any little delicacy of that sort as much as possible.
Don"t let him walk; let him have carriage exercise daily; you can hire carriages for a mere trifle monthly at Cannes and Mentone.
Above all things, give him perfect freedom from anxiety. Allow him to concentrate his whole attention on the act of getting well, and you"ll find he"ll improve astonishingly in no time. But if you keep him here in England and feed him badly and neglect my directions, I can"t answer for his getting through another winter....Don"t disturb yourself, I beg of you; don"t, pray, give way to tears; there is really no occasion for it, my dear madam, no occasion for it at all, if you"ll only do as I tell you....Quite right, thank you. Good morning.--Next case, McFarlane.--Good morning. Good morning."
So that was the end of weeping little Edie"s poor hardly-spared three guineas.
The very next day Arthur Berkeley happened to mount the stairs quietly, at an earlier hour than usual, and knocked at the door of Ernest"s lodging. There was no answer, so he turned the handle, and entered by himself. The remains of breakfast lay upon the table. Arthur did not want to spy, but he couldn"t help remarking that these remains were extremely meagre and scanty. Half a loaf of bread stood upon a solitary plate in the centre; a teapot and two cups occupied one side; and--that was all. In spite of himself, he couldn"t restrain his curiosity, and he looked more closely at the knives and plates. Not a mark of anything but crumbs upon them, not even b.u.t.ter! He looked into the cups. Nothing but milkless tea at the bottom! Yes, the truth was only too evident; they had had no meat for breakfast, no b.u.t.ter, no milk, no sugar; it was quite clear that the meal had consisted entirely of dry bread with plain tea--call it hot water--and that for a dying man and a delicate over-worked lady! Arthur looked at that pitiable breakfast-table with a twinge of remorse, and the tears rose sharply and involuntarily into his eyes. He had not done enough for them, then; he had not done enough for them.