He knew? He knew about it. How come he said nothing before? Why, why did he remain with her despite knowing? Why did he put up with so much of her selfishness? No, why is she so surprised? Ever since they got engaged, Allen has sacrificed so much for her. She"s the selfish one, not him."Leaving Lyn in your hands, I"ve always been uneasy, and even now, I still am. She broke down crying because she couldn"t do anything to help you. In the first place for Lyn it has always been about you, so you don"t have to worry about anything happen. Cure your addiction first before you properly confess to her," Allen stood up and slipped on his coat on and turned to her, "Take care."
With those words said Allen left, Kazuya"s hands slip away from her waist, and he headed right to the bathroom. Realizing what he was about to do, she immediately hugged him from the back. "Lyn. Lock yourself in the room at the back and don"t come out. You can rest a.s.sured since even I can"t break through seal."
"No!" If she left him alone now, what would happen to him?
"I"m going crazy; I"ll really do something to you."
"No. I can"t leave you. If that will ease your loneliness, you can do whatever you want to me. I can"t leave you alone when you"re in so much pain." Her sentence fell short when he pushed her on the couch, his body hovering over her.
"Lyn. Stop me. Stop me now. I could kill somebody. ."
Lyn shook her head as she wrapped her arms around him, "You can do what you want. Please don"t continue hurting yourself. If my presence can ease your pain, then you go ahead."
…
"Kazuya?" she murmurs, through the darkness of the room. Lyn didn"t hear an automatic response, and panicked. "He didn"t leave did he?" She hears storing, and the lights flickered on. Lyn looked over, Kazuya was still beside her. He wore a complicated look on his race.
"Sorry. Sorry. I shouldn"t have done that. Lyn, I"m really sorry."
Lyn shook her head, "You don"t have to make that face. I"m alright. It"s really okay, as long as you"re better now."
Kazuya s.h.i.+fted their position, so they were both sitting down as he buried his head in her chest, she fingers his maroon locks. "Good boy. I should have given you that medicine earlier. However, seeing you in pain, I couldn"t help but break down. It"s laughable, isn"t it?"
It"s laughable, back then and even now. All she can ever do is cause the people she cares about pain. Someone like her does not deserve love. That is something she has always known.
"Yeah, it is. But in the first place, human beings are selfish creatures. That"s why, even though this may look selfish in the eyes of others. It"s fine for us to remain this way."
Lyn leaned into his hold, and Kazuya paused, "Is it okay?"
"Yes, I love you, and I trust you." Because she did, didn"t she? Despite all the pain she felt whenever things went wrong between them.
..
Lyn quickly got dressed and found Kazuya by the balcony a cup in his hands. Lyn stares the drink up and down before nodding as she took a seat opposite him. Recalling the events that happened earlier though, she feels the tears spilling from her eyes again.
"Kazuya, what should I do to find happiness like normal people?"
"Don"t ask me such a difficult question I"m not the soothing type after all. Ask your brother, instead." Lyn looked at him in complete disbelief, "He would answer you like this; you should spare a thought for the other person"s happiness."
It"s scary how spot on that impersonation is.
"But Lyn, you don"t have to worry about this. Happiness is something that"s supposed to come naturally. I can"t say for sure when it will come. However, it will happen."
Lyn looked over at him, "I"m happy when we are together."
"I know," Kazuya nodded. "I"m really sorry. I didn"t want you to see me like this. But my feet naturally dragged me to where you were."
That sounds so stupid.
Lyn hears a faint knock on the door and froze. Ah, this…
"Lyn?"
She quickly got up, "Wait. I"ll come back." Lyn made her way across the room hurriedly and exited the place. No sooner had she gone though, she was pulled into a familiar pair of arms. Lyn immediately knew who it was without looking.
"Rhys, sorry," Lyn apologized. "But Kazuya got hurt, so I have to…"
"Yeah, I know. I just came by to give you some medicine for the idiot. Stay with him for a bit."
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Rhys smiled, "Just take care of yourself, Lyn. You"re also not in a good condition," he gently caressed her hair. "I"ll drop by tomorrow too, so make sure Kazuya is ready."
"Okay," she didn"t know what else to say. Rhys was holding her like she was so precious. It really pained her. "This situation isn"t good for either of them," Lyn thought. She has to settle everything quickly.
"Rhys?"
"A few more minutes," Rhys mumbled.
Lyn stood still, "Say, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"I started dating Kazuya out of impulse and desire. Although there may have been feelings there, I was still grieving about what happened back then. Even when I found out that person was alive, I didn"t leave him and stayed with Kazuya. I didn"t stay because of feelings of love either; it"s because I knew that person would soon be gone that the ending of that fight would be ending everything with my own hands. Kazuya and I have been dating for so long now. But the feelings of love didn"t start until much later. I want to treasure him; however, it"s suffocating to be with him because I knew that Kazuya will always have somebody more important. Even though I was the one who said I was okay with their relations.h.i.+p. For a weak person like myself, I can"t deal with it anymore. A painful sort of love, I don"t want it anymore."
She is so very tired already of all of this.
"I see. If you break up with him, would you return to me?"
"Isn"t this where you"d supposed to stop me?"
"I would. But it"s beneficial for me if you two break up. I have plenty of money saved up already. So think about it, will you?" Rhys caressed her hair, "I"ll make sure you don"t suffer Lyn, so think about my offer."
"You"re all so stupid."
"Yeah," Rhys laughed. "But, I think I"m getting it from Kazuya. Lyn, take care of yourself. You"re still so frail," Rhys looked very reluctant to leave her. He bent down and gently kissed her forehead. "I"ll get going, don"t want Kazuya to suspect anything. Take these meds and hide it for now. Don"t give it to him until he"s fallen asleep."
"Rhys, um wait...I.."
Rhys lightly patted her hair, "Don"t worry about it. I"ll monopolize you when all of this is over, yeah? Think about how you"ll make it up to me."