For as long as I can remember, the doctor said that my parents sent me to a psychiatry and behavioral medicine unit. And that was the start of my memory, when I met my a.s.signed doctor, as well as my beloved teacher."Child, you must listen and remember this well. The society we live in is a jungle in its own; it"s survival for the fittest. In order to live in this environment, you must rely on your own and make use of the other people around you. For you to do that, you must strengthen your social relationship..."
"How?"
"Silly child. Of course, I will teach you the art of 『Smile』 and the power of 『Emotions』..."
He paused and patted my head:"『Smile』 is the basic conversation between humans, and the first step in building a relationship. Apparently, there are two types of 『Smile』 that exist in this world. The people who managed to achieve euphoria are the ones that wears genuine smile. Whereas the wearer of the fake smile are those people who hide underneath millions of tears.
『Emotions』 are the second phase in strengthening social relationship.
『Emotions』 can affect those people around and it is the vital understanding between humans. Anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise are the common types of emotions that humans have. If a person appears to lack these emotions, that person will be silently banished by the society. On the other hand if a person often shows these emotions, that person will be approved by the society. "
I look at him and tilted my head:"Why?"
"You see, humans likes to see other"s reactions. If they failed to see their reactions, they will slowly abandon you because they have no idea what"s deep within you. Humans are really shallow creatures, they always fear the unknown.
On the other hand, if you always react of what they did, you will be accepted because they can understand and be relatable to you. However, your case is rare..."
"Rare? "
"Yes child. When your brother was beaten in front of you, you didn"t even grieve nor flinch, all you did was to watch. When a puppy died in front you, you didn"t even express a compa.s.sion and sadness, you just look at it and left. Even your face shows no expressions at all!"
"But I really feel nothing while watching them...."
"I know. When your parents sent you here, that was the first sign of being abandoned and I can"t let my disciple to be banished by the society. Luckily, you have a higher intellectual quotient than most people..."
The doctor elucidated how could I use my intelligence in patching the emotional quotient that I lack. He laid several situations and how should I react to them. For example, when a person is crying I should pity them, when a person is happy, I should celebrate with them.
He taught me how to utilized anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise. I can"t say that I don"t understand them, so I just nodded and tried to follow his teaching.
"As for the smile hmmm..."
The doctor ma.s.saged his chin and stared at me:"Child, try to smile."
Smile? Oh, it"s just lifting one"s lips right?
I smiled in front of him however he just sigh:"Your smile looks horrible and heartless. Smile at me then try to imagine that I"m a warm breathing structure of a body."
I did what he said. I smiled at him and imagined that he"s one of those bodies lying in the laboratory.
The doctor smiled at me and took out a piece of a mirror where my smiling face was reflected. "Child, this is a smile."
I traced my face and ask:"Is this the genuine smile?"
"No, in your case this is an 『Artificial smile』 and what I taught you earlier is 『Synthetic emotions』. Child, this is our last lesson. You must remember all of my teachings."
"Doctor, I---"
"Child, let"s go to your room. Tomorrow we will exercise what you learn today. "
"Yes..."
Doctor escorted me and injected me my daily "nutrients."
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"Doctor, why do I always feel strange everytime I take the nutrients?"
The Doctor patted me in the head and said, "Child, this is a gift for you. This will boost your emotions..."
I didn"t quite catch his last sentence but heard some words such as: successful, experiment, specimen and superhuman.
That night was the first time that I slept in a deep slumber without any dreams. I was very ignorant back then, because I believed in a liar"s promise...
"Sir! We"ve found the child!"
I opened my eyes and feel my body as light as a feather, a man was carrying me towards another man.
"Give me the child. Findings?"
"The doctor has fled. He left his traces clean, leaving the child and numerous corpses in the laboratory."
"Send the corpses to the forensic department."
"Affirmative."
When the other person left, I look at the man holding me and ask:"Where"s my doctor?"
The man tightens his embrace and said:"That psychopath is no doctor. Tell me honestly, what did the motherf-- person do to you?"
I want to answer him, however nothing comes to my mind. I was confined in the place called interrogation room. They asked me several questions about my teacher, but I stayed mute, not that I want to stay silent but my mind was blank.
I don"t know what happened next, but my eyes became black and I fainted. The next time I opened my eyes, a woman was embracing me while crying.
"My child, my dear daughter... sniff... how dare that demon kidnapped you... sniff..."
"Who..?"
The woman shouted some name and a man appeared in front of us disheveled. He said that he"s my father and the woman holding me is my mother.
"My...parents?"
They replied to me with a tight embrace. They told me that I was kidnapped by a runaway. The escaped prisoner was also a mad scientist that escape in a mental asylum and a.s.sumed an ident.i.ty of a doctor. He abducted several people and after that kill them, experiment on them and develop kinds of drugs. His methods were inhuman and ruthless. So, they raised a save and rescue operation, to save me from the hands of that demon.
I listened to what they said. It"s true that doctor injected me an unknown liquid many times, however my doctor wasn"t what they described him to be. So that person they were calling a "demon" it can"t possibly be my doctor. They were probably mistaking him for someone.
It just can"t be him.
For the first time in my life, I felt that power of emotions. Maybe, its because of that unknown liquid or because of the last lesson, but it doesn"t matter.
Ironically, I feel anger and disgust but why am I smiling? Truly...fascinating.