Remember that those who are thoroughly in love will respect the honor and virtue of each other. The purity of woman is doubly attractive, and sensuality in her becomes doubly offensive and repellent. It is contrary to the laws of nature for a man to love a harlot.
13. A SEDUCER.--The punishment of the seducer is best given by O. S.
Fowler, in his "Creative Science." The sin and punishment rest on all you who call out only to blight a trusting, innocent, loving virgin"s affections, and then discard her. You deserve to be horsewhipped by her father, cowhided by her brothers, branded villain by her mother, cursed by herself, and sent to the whipping-post and dungeon. {169}
14. CAUTION.--A young lady should never encourage the attentions of a young man, who shows no interest in his sisters. If a young man is indifferent to his sisters he will become indifferent to his wife as soon as the honey moon is over. There are few if any exceptions to this rule. The brother who will not be kind and loving in his mother"s home will make a very poor husband.
15. THE OLD RULE: "Never marry a man that does not make his mother a Christmas present every Christmas," is a good one. The young lady makes no mistake in uniting her destinies with the man that loves his mother and respects his sisters and brothers.
{170}
SAFE HINTS.
[Ill.u.s.tration: A CHINESE BRIDE AND GROOM.]
1. Marry in your own position in life. If there is any difference in social position, it is better that the husband should be the superior. A woman does not like to look down upon her husband, and to be obliged to do so is a poor guarantee for their happiness.
2. It is best to marry persons of your own faith and religious convictions, unless one is willing to adopt those of the other. Difference of faith is apt to divide families, and to produce great trouble in after life. A pious woman should beware of marrying an irreligious man. {171}
3. Don"t be afraid of marrying a poor man or woman. Good health, cheerful disposition, stout hearts and industrious hands will bring happiness and comfort.
4. Bright red hair should marry jet black, and jet black auburn or bright red, etc. And the more red-faced and bearded or impulsive a man, the more dark, calm, cool and quiet should his wife be; and vice versa. The florid should not marry the florid, but those who are dark, in proportion as they themselves are light.
5. Red-whiskered men should marry brunettes, but no blondes; the color of the whiskers being more determinate of the temperament than that of the hair.
6. The color of the eyes is still more important. Gray eyes must marry some other color, almost any other except gray; and so of blue, dark, hazel, etc.
7. Those very fleshy should not marry those equally so, but those too spare and slim; and this is doubly true of females. A spare man is much better adapted to a fleshy woman than a round-favored man. Two who are short, thick-set and stocky, should not unite in marriage, but should choose those differently const.i.tuted; but on no account one of their own make. And, in general, those predisposed to corpulence are therefore less inclined to marriage.
8. Those with little hair or beard should marry those whose hair is naturally abundant; still those who once had plenty, but who have lost it, may marry those who are either bald or have but little; for in this, as in all other cases, all depends on what one is by nature, little on present states.
9. Those whose motive-temperament decidedly predominates, who are bony, only moderately fleshy, quite prominent-featured, Roman-nosed and muscular, should not marry those similarly formed.
10. Small, nervous men must not marry little, nervous or sanguine women, lest both they and their children have quite too much of the hot-headed and impulsive, and die suddenly.
[Ill.u.s.tration: Light, Life, Health and Beauty.]
11. Two very beautiful persons rarely do or should marry; nor two extra homely. The fact is a little singular that very handsome women, who of course can have their pick, rarely marry good-looking men, but generally give preference to those who are homely; because that {173} exquisiteness in which beauty originates naturally blends with that power which accompanies huge noses and disproportionate features.
12. Rapid movers, speakers, laughers, etc., should marry those who are calm and deliberate, and impulsives those who are stoical; while those who are medium may marry those who are either or neither, as they prefer.
13. Noses indicate characters by indicating the organisms and temperaments.
Accordingly, those noses especially marked either way should marry those having opposite nasal characteristics. Roman noses are adapted to those which turn up, and pug noses to those turning down; while straight noses may marry either.
14. Men who love to command must be especially careful not to marry imperious, women"s-rights woman; while those who willingly "obey order;"
need just such. Some men require a wife who shall take their part; yet all who do not need strong-willed women, should be careful how they marry them.
15. A sensible woman should not marry an obstinate but injudicious, unintelligent man; because she cannot long endure to see and help him blindly follow his poor, but spurn her good, plans.
16. The reserved or secretive should marry the frank. A cunning man cannot endure the least artifice in a wife. Those who are non-committal must marry those who are demonstrative; else, however much they may love, neither will feel sure as to the other"s affections, and each will distrust the other, while their children will be deceitful.
17. A timid woman should never marry a hesitating man, lest, like frightened children, each keep perpetually re-alarming the other by imaginary fears.
18. An industrious, thrifty, hard-working man should marry a woman tolerably saving and industrious. As the "almighty dollar" is now the great motor-wheel of humanity, and that to which most husbands devote their entire lives, to delve alone is uphill work.
[Ill.u.s.tration]
{174}
Marriage Securities.
[Ill.u.s.tration: WE MUST PART.]
1. SEEK EACH OTHER"S HAPPINESS.--A selfish marriage that seeks only its own happiness defeats itself. Happiness is a fire that will not burn long on one stick. {175}
2. DO NOT MARRY SUDDENLY.--It can always be done till it is done, if it is a proper thing to do.
3. MARRY IN YOUR OWN GRADE IN SOCIETY.--It is painful to be always apologizing for any one. It is more painful to be apologized for.
4. DO NOT MARRY DOWNWARD.--It is hard enough to advance in the quality of life without being loaded with clay heavier than your own. It will be sufficiently difficult to keep your children up to your best level without having to correct a bias in their blood.
5. DO NOT SELL YOURSELF.--It matters not whether the price be money or position.
6. DO NOT THROW YOURSELF AWAY.--You will not receive too much, even if you are paid full price.
7. SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PARENTS.--Your parents are your best friends.
They will make more sacrifice for you than any other mortals. They are elevated above selfishness concerning you. If they differ from you concerning your choice, it is because they must.
8. DO NOT MARRY TO PLEASE ANY THIRD PARTY.--You must do the living and enduring.
9. DO NOT MARRY TO SPITE ANYBODY.--It would add wretchedness to folly.
10. DO NOT MARRY BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE MAY SEEK THE SAME HAND.--One glove may not fit all hands equally well.
11. DO NOT MARRY TO GET RID OF ANYBODY.--The coward who shot himself to escape from being drafted was insane.
12. DO NOT MARRY MERELY FOR THE IMPULSE OF LOVE.--Love is a principle as well as an emotion. So far as it is a sentiment it is a blind guide. It does not wait to test the presence of exalted character in its object before breaking out into a flame. Shavings make a hot fire, but hard coal is better for the Winter.
13. DO NOT MARRY WITHOUT LOVE.--A body without a soul soon becomes offensive.
14. TEST CAREFULLY THE EFFECT OF PROTRACTED a.s.sOCIATION.--If familiarity breeds contempt before marriage it will afterward.
15. TEST CAREFULLY THE EFFECT OF PROTRACTED SEPARATION.--True love will defy both time and s.p.a.ce.
16. CONSIDER CAREFULLY the right of your children under the laws of heredity. It is doubtful whether you have a right to increase the number of invalids and cripples.
17. DO NOT MARRY SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE PROMISED TO DO SO.--If a seam opens between you now it will widen into {176} a gulf. It is less offensive to retract a mistaken promise than to perjure your soul before the altar.