「CHAPTER 4」
“Ugh...I"m dizzy.......” Yos.h.i.+no groaned in his bed with a high fever. After he sent
the ma.n.u.script for printing, the combination of his fatigued body and overworked brain
had knocked him out. Even in this situation he somehow managed to send the
ma.n.u.script, so of course he wanted to be praised for being a pro, but to be called that
would be a joke. In reality, he was in a situation where he had to apologize to various
people. Ever since he debuted, this was the worst situation he ever had at work.
“Haa—h…”
Because Hatori had done such a thing to him, he could not even think about the
ma.n.u.script; however no matter how unpleasant things were, work was work. As a pro, he
thought having private matters interfere with work was absolutely the worst, even if it
bothered him.
But, dream and reality don"t mix together so easily......
Even though he realized this, he was not doing anything about it and could not
even think of what to do about it. He ought to be trying to not think of it, but
nevertheless, the only thoughts that crossed his mind were about Hatori. This was the first
time such a thing happened to him.
Since he was thinking about so many things all at the same time, he realized he
might be confused, so he tried to stop thinking, but even if he thought as much as he
could, Yos.h.i.+no did not understand what Hatori was thinking.
I mean, no matter how much I think about it, I don"t understand.
Finally, he decided to leave his worrying for later, and switched his thoughts in
order to force himself to concentrate on the ma.n.u.script. As usual he sent the ma.n.u.script
at the last moment, but if he was to avoid getting his ma.n.u.script dropped from the
magazine, Yos.h.i.+no had to do his best. He thought it would not be strange to call the fact
that he was able to catch-up a miracle. Of course he finished without getting dropped —
thanks to all of his a.s.sistants who worked hard for him and thanks to Hatori who ran
around to all sorts of places as he negotiated the deadline for him. But during the time he
was finis.h.i.+ng up the ma.n.u.script, he talked of nothing but work with Hatori, and when
they met, they also did not make eye contact with each other.
......It"s much easier like that for me, but...
With this and that, Yos.h.i.+no was somehow able to finish the ma.n.u.script, however
as soon as he was done, the tension left him and he caught a fever and fell apart.
“I have to apologize to everyone later...”
He caused all sorts of trouble to so many people and it seemed like up till now
this never happened before. It was unbelievable as to how much he really was indebted to
his admired a.s.sistants. For now, Yos.h.i.+no thought he probably should eat something after
he feels better and announces himself active again.
He can come later......
He avoided Hatori all through the time he was finis.h.i.+ng up the ma.n.u.script, but
continuing to run away any more would be impossible. If Hatori was an ordinary friend
and such a thing happened, he could just ignore him without contacting him ever again
after it had happened. But Hatori was his childhood friend and his work partner, a work
partner who could not stop being the editor in charge of him. This was the obvious
reality, but this situation of not being able to even run away was horrible for Yos.h.i.+no.
“Why did this happen......?” He tossed around in his bed while muttering to
himself again. No matter how many times he thought about it, he could not come up with
an answer. However, even if he knew there was no answer, he could not help thinking
about it, nevertheless.
Maybe it didn"t go well between Tori and Yuu?
No matter how he tried to look at it, it looked as if the two were fighting before
they kissed on that rainy day. So that meant Hatori gave up on Yanase? Then Yos.h.i.+no
misunderstood what he had heard from Yanase. He could not hold back his irritation, as
he thought Hatori must have taken out his desire on him as he happened to be close by.
Then, I"m Yuu"s replacement...?
That pa.s.sion, those arms roughly holding him, and the pa.s.sionate kissing, all of
that was taken out on him because he was Yuu"s replacement?
I mean, a replacement!! That"s all I was to Tori!?
Thinking that made him a little sick, and he felt like crying from the mortification
and miserableness. Obviously he was angry at being attacked. If another guy did such a
thing to him, he would definitely have gone to the police. However, his partner was Tori,
so Yos.h.i.+no wanted to know the reason directly from him, as to why he did such a thing.
Besides, even though Yos.h.i.+no thought first getting to understand Hatori was the best, he
was angry with himself that he did not understand what Hatori was thinking before.
Why didn"t he talk it over with me? Before doing that... Or, is he not even able to
see me as someone he can seek advise from?
He felt a pain in his chest. Yos.h.i.+no felt like his own existence did not matter, and
it crushed him. Moreover...
“What does Yuu not like about Tori?
He thought Hatori was a really great guy. He did not understand what part of
Hatori did not meet Yuu"s expectations, but he was sure if they dated they could
definitely be happy. Although it was a relations.h.i.+p between men, Yos.h.i.+no thought
rejecting a man like Hatori was a waste. If Yanase was hesitating, as long as he consulted
with Yos.h.i.+no, Yos.h.i.+no would encourage him, but......
Even though Yos.h.i.+no believed that from the bottom of his heart, pent up feelings
somehow remained in his heart.
“s.h.i.+t...!”
This was probably due to the feelings of being embraced that still remained in his
body.
I didn"t know he had such a side to him...
It was the first time Yos.h.i.+no had seen Hatori show so much emotion. Surely,
Hatori"s feelings for Yanase were just as strong as the power of his embracing arms. But
Yos.h.i.+no did not know Hatori even had such pa.s.sion in him.
“If I was the guy Tori liked, I wouldn"t mind......”
As Yos.h.i.+no was immersed in such deep emotions, he became fl.u.s.tered by his
own remark.
“Huh!? What am I saying!?”
No, no. That only happens in shoujo manga. I don"t have any interest in that!
When he desperately was making an excuse for himself, he felt his fever rising
again.
“......If only all of this was a dream......”
Everything up till now was a bad dream. When he wakes up, he will be in front of
Hatori in the usual cafe and still worrying over the storyboard. He had enough of such
painful hectic times before the deadline, but even they were much better than having this
awkward relations.h.i.+p with Hatori. As Yos.h.i.+no rolled around in his bed from these
thoughts, he heard an incoming e-mail on his cellphone that was lying on the nightstand.
“An email? Is it Yuu?”
When Yos.h.i.+no collapsed from the illness, Yanase had stayed beside him and was
also the one to call the ambulance. Yos.h.i.+no returned home, insisting he did not need to be
hospitalized, but Yanase was worried about him and often sent him e-mails.
“Ah......”
However, it was from Hatori with the subject of the e-mail:
“Thanks for your hard work.”
“How are you feeling? If you"re in too much pain, I will call a doctor
I know and ask for him to come by your home. You seriously worked hard
and saved us this time. And the fireworks display I said I wanted to
use the material from on our next project is this weekend, so if you
become well by then do you want to go? If you can go, I also want to
talk properly about the event that happened a few days ago.
- Hatori”
When Yos.h.i.+no finished reading, he smiled bitterly at the sincerity of the email
that seemed just like Hatori.
“......That"s just like him......”
Yos.h.i.+no was no match against it, and was once again struck with admiration.
Hatori had the option to pretend like nothing happened between them that time, but it
seemed like Hatori did not intend to run away from it. Yos.h.i.+no had to think how he could
run away, but the only thing he thought about was how much he wished it was all a
dream.
“He really likes Yuu......”
Of course the serious Hatori definitely liked Yanase a lot, and he must have done
such a thing to Yos.h.i.+no because he was too emotional from being rejected. As time
pa.s.sed, Yos.h.i.+no collected his thoughts and was able to think now that he was slightly
calmer.
I"m angry, but I can"t hate him......
While feeling a strange sadness, Yos.h.i.+no decided to go to the scheduled fireworks
display.
“I don"t want to stay apart from him...”
Because of that, Yos.h.i.+no wanted to have a proper talk with Hatori and hear out
his reasons. Yos.h.i.+no wanted, from the bottom of his heart, for this to be settled.