Sometimes, she decided, two words had more impact than an entire speech. "Songan and I have known each other for years," she said unnecessarily. "I understand him as well as any human can."
"Yeah, maybe. Look, those shifters never lose all the elk in them. He"s a male in his prime. Instinct drives a lot of what he does."
"I"ve noticed that."
71.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," she said. Better to be honest.
"That"s your business, but no matter how devoted to you you might think he is, he and his kind don"t value life in the same way you and I do. They"re wired different."
"What are you saying?"
"Just that I don"t see him risking his life for yours if it comes to that." Now it was her turn to wait a beat before responding. "You think that"s a possibility?" Gannon sighed. "Rane, there"s something you need to know. h.e.l.l, maybe you already do. Did your mom talk to you about what she"d been up to near the end?"
A too-familiar stab of grief had her slumping into the nearest chair. Was she going to spend the rest of her life regretting putting her mother on the back burner while she did everything possible to put her isolated and limiting Forestville upbringing behind her? "Such as?" she asked.
"Are you alone?"
"Songan"s here."
"Hmm. Rane, your mother and I suspected illegal activity was going on in the woods. She was trying to convince her superior to a.s.sign someone to work with her so the bulk of the investigation didn"t fall on her shoulders, but you know how it is with a federal agency. Everything moves slow, and there are other priorities."
"Wait. I don"t-what investigation?"
"You don"t know? I"m sorry. Maybe she didn"t want you worrying." Teeth clenched, she said, "It"s too late for worry. Gannon, please."
"This isn"t for the public to know, but I feel safe telling you. I"m sure you"ve come across the same thing in your work."
Chilled, she waited Gannon out.
"It started this spring. A couple of hikers following the Chinook River came across a bear carca.s.s with bullet holes in it."
"Spring. It wasn"t hunting season then."
"No, it wasn"t. I"m not sure who the hikers called initially, but things were routed to your mom, who immediately went out. Only one organ had been taken. The rest of the bear was left to rot."
"The gall bladder, right?"
"Then your mom told-"
"We"ve talked about this insanity, of course." No matter how much evidence there was to the contrary, some people, traditional Chinese in particular, believed bear gall bladders were effective in treating heart disease, diabetes, liver disease, even obesity. A single gall could net a bear poacher several thousand dollars.
72.
"Only one bear has been wasted?" she asked.
"No, unfortunately. Four other carca.s.ses have shown up since then, and who knows how many others might be out there."
An image of an enraged Ber standing over a slaughtered bear momentarily came between her and the ability to speak. "Are you saying Mom was working on this alone?"
"Essentially yes, unfortunately. Several environmental groups were up in arms, and at least two politicians are trying to get funds earmarked to bring Forest Service investigators to the area. Your mother and I had reservations about how effective that would be. Having some strangers show up around here would tip our hands and maybe drive the poachers elsewhere." I wish she"d told me. "What happens now?" she made herself ask. "With Mom dead, is whoever"s responsible free to..."
"You don"t want to talk about this. I understand." Even with the distance between them, she heard Gannon"s compa.s.sion. "The Service hasn"t yet chosen someone to replace your mother. Once that person has been selected, I intend to meet with the new guy and press to make apprehending the poachers a priority."
"They"re more than that." Her throat burned, forcing her to swallow repeatedly. "The b.a.s.t.a.r.ds murdered my mother."
"We don"t know for sure. It could be-"
"What does your gut reaction say?"
"You don"t dance around, do you?"
"Jacki was my mother." I owe her this.
"Yes, she was. Rane, my gut says that when or if we determine who"s selling black market bear galls, we"ll know who to look at for her killing."
Thinking Gannon couldn"t have anything more to say, she looked at but didn"t really see her mother"s living room. Songan had come inside and was watching her with his wary animal eyes. If only life was simple and ruled by s.e.x.
"Rane," Gannon said, "your mom and I were pretty convinced the poacher is a local. Someone we maybe see every day, a neighbor even."
Suddenly numb, she shivered. "Because of how many area bears have been taken?"
"Exactly." Gannon sighed. "The poacher-I"m thinking it"s one person, because there"s less chance of loose lips talking-knows these mountains as well as the bears themselves."
"A neighbor," Rane repeated. "A so-called friend."
"Maybe someone your mother"s known for years."
"She arrested several locals for illegal hunting. Andy, Aaron and Albert Jones blamed her for their convictions."
73.
"Now there"s siblings without a spare brain cell for the bunch. They"ve caused me trouble for years." She struggled to think of something to say. Given Songan"s keen hearing, she had no doubt he"d heard the deputy"s side of the conversation. Compa.s.sion and concern weren"t Songan"s strong suits, and yet she took comfort from his unwavering gaze.
"Gannon, I was in the Sawmill the other night. I talked to their cousins Clifford and Chip. I"m not- not pointing fingers at them in particular, just thinking they"re probably barely holding it together financially."
"You"re asking me if they"re on my suspect list, aren"t you. I haven"t eliminated them, but they aren"t as high as the A brothers."
"Why"s that?"
"Clifford and Chip"s logging operation won one of the few harvesting contracts to come around in recent years. They"re busy and making money for a change."
"I went to school with Andy and Aaron. Albert"s younger. Like you said, they aren"t the sharpest knives in the drawer. What are they up to these days?"
"Don"t go there, Rane. You aren"t a detective."
"What are they up to?"
"Not working for Chip and Clifford and that"s caused some tension in the bunch. From what I hear, the A brothers figure their cousins should have put them on the payroll because they"re blood."
"I"m trying to remember whether I"ve seen them since I got back."
"No, you don"t. I"ve already told you more than I wish I had. Let it go. Let me do my job." She said something about him already saying that. He asked whether she"d changed her mind about going to Wolverine. Telling him no, she hung up.
74.
Chapter Eleven.
"Let Gannon and the rest of the sheriff"s department do their job," Songan said. Pushing away from the wall he"d been leaning against, he started toward her. "You can"t bring her back." But maybe her spirit will find me once I"m where she died. "I know." Songan stood leaning down a little as if trying to blanket her body with his. Every night since she"d met Ber, his spirit or something had laid claim to her mind and body in what was unlike any dream she"d ever had. Now Songan was here, and even with her thoughts on the conversation with the deputy, she gave silent thanks to Songan"s strength.
She suspected she"d need it to get through the next few days.
"I"m glad I"m here," Songan said as he brushed her cheek. "You shouldn"t be alone." She leaned into his touch. "It"s a natural state for you. What makes you think it"s different for me?"
"Instinct."
Placing his hand under her chin, he guided her face upward and lightly covered her mouth with his.
Warmth stole through her as she returned his kiss. Unexpected dizziness prompted her to wrap her arms around his waist. Anch.o.r.ed, she parted her lips.
At his core, Songan was a good man. Single-minded when it came to s.e.x and sometimes rough-not that she minded. Their limited time together had revolved around satisfying their physical needs, but even when his powerful grip left her bruised, she never doubted his heart.
"I want this," she muttered. "G.o.d, how I want."
His hand slid over her neck, over her collarbone, reached her breast. He started to rub it through the layers of clothing, then stopped. Pulling back a little, he stared down at her. "Do you?" Warned by his tone, she struggled to meet his somber gaze. "What are you talking about?"
"You tell me."
What was that she"d just thought of Songan, that he could be rough? What did she expect of someone who could never take survival for granted? Perhaps that"s why he believed in seizing every moment.
Today, dreading what she might find at Wolverine, she longed to live in the present. Songan"s erection had bloomed the instant they touched. He could, they could- "How"s this for your answer?" Sliding her hand between their bodies, she rubbed her knuckles against the familiar and always exciting bulge. "h.e.l.l yes, I want." I need.
To her surprise, Songan didn"t respond as she believed he would. Instead of increasing his hold on her breast, he gently but firmly pushed her away from him.
"Songan?"
"Daylight isn"t going to last. We need to get up there."
Five minutes later, Songan and she had packed and placed everything they"d need on the front porch.
Like ninety-nine percent of the people who lived in the Chinook Mountains, Songan knew how to handle a weapon. So did she. Fortunately the Forest Service-built cabin at Wolverine meant they wouldn"t need to carry a tent. Still shaken by what had happened between them, she patted her pocket to rea.s.sure herself that, yes, her cell phone was there. She reached for the handle. Songan stopped her.
"I can"t do it."
"Can"t do what?" She felt sick. "Have you changed your mind about-"
"Not that. d.a.m.n it, Rane, who"d you have s.e.x with?"
She stared at what she could see of her wrist under the man"s fingers. "What?" His grip tightened. "Don"t do that. I hate being lied to."
"All I did was ask a question." From the beginning, Songan"s skin touching hers had turned her on.
Something as simple as his elbow brushing her had her wanting to see him naked. After what had happened between them a few minutes ago, having him hold her in place with his legs, both barriers and potential stripped her mind and filled her body with heat.
"There are certain scents a shower can"t get rid of. Arousal. Who turned you on?"
"No one. I"ve been having dreams. Explicit ones." Didn"t I? "I can"t help how my body responds.
And even if a man spent the night, you don"t own me."
But he wanted to. The harsh intensity in his eyes left her with no doubt of that. Dream-Ber had acted the same way.
"I don"t want to get into this," she told Songan with the need for something she refused to name arcing through her. "There"s only one thing I"m interested in right now. If you can"t handle that, I"ll go alone."
"No, you won"t."