Chapter 1 - An Unfortunate TeenagerI couldn’t believe this gale would blow beside the cliff.
And then I fell, just that.
“Hey, wait! I couldn’t just die in this kind of place!”
I was just in the first year of high school. I had only lived for sixteen years…
To be blown down the cliff for joining the school’s marathon activity—how dismal…
The sounds of cla.s.smates calling for me sounded like a recorder being played slowly.
Rats, my past events were being played like flashbacks.
I almost died from food poison when I was three.
I almost flew back to heaven for catching a bad flu when I was four.
When I was five, the bus I was on when hiking was. .h.i.t by rocks, and I almost had to sell peanuts as a spirit when the rocks. .h.i.t right above me.
Etc…
My life was as bad as possible.
Though sorrowful, it was the indisputable truth.
I, Daisuke Takebayashi, was quite an unlucky person.
So happenings like being blown down the cliff during a up-hill marathon was quite normal to me.
The only difference this time was that I saw flashbacks.
The memories of near-death experiences came back to me, followed by familiar faces.
My parents.
Silent and hard-to-understand Koaki.
And also my childhood friend Majiyoka.
Majiyoka is the girl of Urushibara family living opposite my family. We always played with each other when we were small.
We met almost every day before we went to kindergarten and into primary school.
We were legitimate childhood friends.
She wouldn"t mind my unluckiness and was always willing to play with me.
And for this reason she always suffered the result of my misfortunes. There was once when we got out to buy food when hungry stray cats surrounded us. I came out to protect her, so I was the only one hurt.
“Daisuke is so unlucky. Let me give you a pat in the head, so you will be less unlucky. Here.”
Right, I remembered it: she patted my head after the cats bit me.
I was just primary two then, but still very embarra.s.sed.
Perhaps there are ones who are jealous of those having childhood friends.
People who think having childhood friends a good thing are normally regarded as riajuus.
I don’t deny this.
After all, there are diverse opinions in the world.
But there is no good in my misfortune.
Majiyoka moved out when we were in primary three, for her parents had to work in France. So she had to live at her relative’s house somewhere else in j.a.pan.
I think no one will call me a riajuu by knowing this.
As such, I hadn’t seen her for seven whole years.
The most we did in this time was sending messages…but that’s it.
All our messages were text. She had never sent a single message to me. Pure text became a mutual consensus between us. And even if I wanted to see what she looked like now, I wouldn’t feel right to ask her to send a photo to me.
But a week ago, I received the following message.
Daisuke, do you want to have a reunion this Sat.u.r.day? I have something important to tell you.
This was the heading of the message, along with the time and place of our meeting.
The place is the central zone between my house and hers.
The transportation fee is a bit expensive for a high school student, but it isn’t a distance that cannot be bridged.
To tell the truth, I was quite touched.
A reunion after seven years. Unknowing each others faces for such a long time. Even childhood friends would get jittery.
Of course, I don’t harbour any intimiate love for her, but a reunion after seven years for childhood friends was enough to make me expectant.
Just by looking the message, there wasn’t any change in her. Still, I was still full of expectation.
Even if she had fed me inedible food…I’m still full of expectation.
But why I falling off a cliff…
Yeah, why am I such an unlucky person…
There was no chance for me to meet her that luckily.
Even if I lived to the day to meet her, things like mistaking the station or breaking my phone would happen to lose contact. This was my fate.
My flashbacks ended.
The ground was right in front of me.
The ground seemed to be hard rock. Dollars for donuts I would die flat right here.
Sorry, Majiyoka, I couldn’t meet you…
My body crashed to the ground, but I felt no pain.
Could it be that I lived through it like a miracle?
No, that was probably because I was dead that I felt no pain.
At this moment, my body felt airy.
Was this my soul? Probably.
Now I was examining my dead self from above.
The feeling was more like swimming than flying in the air. I couldn’t move easily.
After some time of flying, I could see someone with a skull mask coming from afar.
“Recycle, return to nothing.”
That person seemed to be singing a weird song…
Oh rats! I would be dead meat if I taken and recycled! I couldn’t imagine what would happen!
But I didn’t reckon I could escape from that person. I tried to move around in the air, but there was no hope doing it fast. While I was still struggling, the mask guy was already closing in on me.
“Recycle. Recycle. Recycle the collected soul.”
The mask guy was approaching me gradually.
Hey, G.o.d, isn’t this a bit too much?
I agree with my bad luck, but if I’m still so unlucky after my death, that’s too cruel!
Oh, at least me take a look at Majiyoka.
In the next second, my body was pulled and sucked by a strong force.
How should I put it? It felt like pieces of paper being vacuumed. Thanks to this, I could get way from death. How lucky!
No, the force pulling me could be someone even more sinister.
This was what I could surmise basing on my lifelong experience.
My consciousness stopped here.
“Yay! It succeeded!”
These words pulled me back to reality.
Taking a glance around, I found myself lying on a bed. Is this a hospital’s ward?
While I was still lingering around in the air, my soul seemed to have entered my body. I could feel the touch of the bed’s sheets. Was I saved?
But this was too weird to be true. First, the wall was black. Normally, for a hospital, it should be black.
There were also strange masks and spells hanging on the wall. There were also strips of cloths like traffic signs.
This was written on the cloth.
“Dark Magic that Saves Lives”
Dark magic doesn’t look like it can save people no matter how you think of it…
Looking it closer, there were similar strips of clothes.
“Dark Magic that Shine the World”
“Dark Magic Filled with Love and Courage”
“Dark Magic that Restores the Spirit”
What was this? Could this Dark Magic be something different from the Dark Magic I knew of?
Oh, right, wasn’t there a girl’s voice just now?
“Weird. Where is this place?”
I slowly crawled up from the bed.
The young girl in front of me met eyes with me.
No, please let me correct it. There should be the word beautiful in front of her. She was a beautiful young girl.
She had glowing eyes like gems.
She had unbelievably pet.i.te lips.
Cheeks with a bit of red on them.
Hair as glamorous as silk.
If the word beautiful could only be used to describe this young girl, perhaps no one would disagree. I didn’t know whether I should use adorable or pretty to describe her. Anyway, she was this sort of beautiful.
But there were other reasons why this young girl would stand out.
She was wearing a pitch black cape and a pitch black sharp hat, the costume for Halloween.
The most unbelievable thing was that I seem to know this young girl.
Could it be, could it be…
“Daisuke, you’re awake at last.”
Oh, a girl who would directly call my name. There was none other than her.
To be so tensed up by talking with this young girl…could she really be…
“Are you Majiyoka?”
“Yeah! I wanted to meet you for a long time, Daisuke!”
Majiyoka Urushibara was standing right in front of me. I didn’t know why she had to wear a black cape and a sharp hat. But she was Majiyoka all right.
“It’s such a touching reunion! Oh, please don’t get off the bed now. You need some rest.”
Wait, this reunion was too sudden, that and the beauty she had become, I couldn’t know what to say now.
Why did she grow so perfectly…life was just too unfair.
Calm down a bit. She was Majiyaka anyway and not some idol or model, just my normal childhood friend, though with a weird costume.
Anyway, let us talk about some easy-going topics like her costume.
“You wear like a witch today.”
“Wuagh, you’re so sharp. That’s right, our family, Urushibara, belong to the witch family. It was my bad for not telling you for so long.”
Majiyaka lowered her head in apology.
Even her hat fell down.
“Wahhh! My hat! The hat is the second life of a witch!”
Hoho, Majiyaka of course had this stupid and cute personality.
No, it isn’t the time for memories.
“You say you’re a witch?”
I thought I heard Majiyoka told a theatrical truth calmly.
“Yeah, I’m a witch who uses black magic.”
She nodded.
And her hat fell once again.
“Wahhh! This hat falls too easily!”
Yeah, having no ability to learn—she was the real Majiyoka.”
But whether she was a witch remains a mystery to me.
Also, what dark and magic and stuff was nothing I could comprehend.
“There are still witches in this day and age?”
“There are quite some actually. There is just no anyone who would admit they are to everyone. So it’s hard to tell.”
“Witches…are there any difference between witches and normal people? Do witches have to pa.s.s any exams or take any credits?”
“That’s just a name. But the main difference between a normal person and a witch is the ability of using magic. There are some men able to use magic, but most are women. Oh, please don’t flip over the sheets. Moving around might make trouble.”
“Only primary school kids play with magic girl pretending games.”
“No! I’m really a witch!”
I stole a glance at her body shape.
Yeah, as I expected. She hadn’t any growth.
Especially her breast.
“Um, if you really are Majiyoka, probably you’d feel comfortable with such games…”
“Hold on a minute! Are you thinking of anything rude? Tell me, Daisuke!”
“Rest a.s.sured, Majiyoka. Beauty isn’t taken by the size of the breast. I mean, this magic girl cosplay really fits you.”
“You really are thinking of rude stuff! I’m a real witch! I’m a witch from the Pitch Black Urushibara that holds a long history!”
“What a boring name…”
Of course, there were many things strange if you were to think her as a normal person.
For starters, why would I be here after falling off a cliff?
I would be sent to the hospital first, right? Although this looked something like a ward, obviously it wasn’t. It would be too creepy if it were.
There seemed to be a precisely made machinery behind her. Normal wards wouldn’t have this stuff. Besides, this room was at least four times as big as a normal ward.
“Is this your book room? O your secret base? No, it feels more like a lab.”
“Yes, I do a lot of research here. To become an excellent, divine witch, I work hard every day here, you know.”
“Didn’t you say pitch black? Why are you know changing it to ‘divine’?”
“I’ll explain this to you slowly later. Please don’t get all worked up. First things first, you should now rest on the bed like a good boy.”
Please don’t tell me to rest in bed every time I found your fault.
“I feel a lot better than what I imagined. Look, I can stand up already now.”
To accentuate my recovered status, I crawled down the bed and stood up.
Although Majiyoka told me to first take a rest, it was fine for a little activity.
Besides, lying on this bed felt a bit breezy. I couldn’t calm down.
“Ah…Daisuke…”
Majiyoka’s face became very embarra.s.sed.
“El-Elephant…”
“Elephant? Do you mean those in zoos?”
“Not as big as those elephants…”
My instincts told me it wasn’t anything good. I looked at my body.
I was naked.
Naked, as good as the word itself implied.
“Wahhh! I have no clothes on actually! Sorry!”
The reunion after seven years shouldn’t look like this! I didn’t wish for a reunion that badly!
“Sorry! I’ll cover it now immediately!”
I quickly s.n.a.t.c.hed the sheets on the bed, but it was unexpectedly heavier and I couldn’t do it quite well.
“Please don’t take my sharp hat for that!”
With puppy eyes, Majiyoka hold her top hat tightly with both of her hands.
“Who would use that for this! Only the worst pervert would do that!”
“Wahh, it’s shaking, like a flying elephant.”
“Majiyoka, please turn your head around and have some self-consciousness! You’ve looked for long enough!”
“I’ve touched it already while making it. But it’s scary to see it shake!”
Make?
Hearing her words, I found my body weird.
Should I say my body size felt out of place? I remember my body was skinnier.
While I was trying to hide back into the blankets…
The mirror beside me reflected my body.
This was normal since it would be shocking if someone else’s body were reflected.
But the body reflected was really someone else’s, no matter how I try to move around for a better angle.
Strictly speaking, I could tell the man in the mirror was more handsome than I. h.e.l.l, it wasn’t the time for calm observation!
“Wh-Who is this! Am I not Daisuke Takebayashi? How did this happen? I remember very clearly I’m Daisuke Takebayashi. What on earth happened?”
“I’m going to explain to you now! Please calm down. I’m going to bring you an underwear to cover that elephant!”
“Stop saying elephant! Just…please bring me some underwear.”
After three minutes…
“There’s only female underwear in the house.”
The underwear she brought was a lined one.
Taking it by its appearance, it should be better described as ‘panties’.
Or so called the lined panties.
“I’m sorry. Even if this wasn’t my body, I couldn’t take this humility. I’m really sorry, can you buy some underwear for me in a convenience store? I can’t go out like this.”
After fifteen minutes…
“I’m back!”
At last, boxer shorts I had wished for.
“I have never thanked underwear so much in my life.”
“But it feels quite perverted to wear underwear…”
“Majiyuka, you’re quite right. But please don’t get into that anymore. It’s time we talked about the real deal.”
I must first ask her about witches and the origin of this body.
Besides, I hadn’t fully understood why I came here.
“Let me brew some tea first, then.”
Majiyuka left the room again.
Was it quite all right for her to be so carefree in this out of the blue situation?
—
Bringing the tea with her, she started.
“First, what we call witches are people who can use magic.”
She took a whiteboard to aid her explanation.
For this room was much like a research lab, there were these kinds of things around.
But all of this came to me so sudden I couldn’t comprehend immediately.
Also, I was now wearing a robe apart from the underwear, so my level of being like a pervert lowered significantly.
Wearing a robe in front of my childhood friend was quite strange actually, but compared to the fact that my childhood friend being a witch, it was trivial. So please don’t pay any heed to it.
“What is magic force? Is it something like gravity or weight?”
Honestly, I don’t regard magic as something existent in the fields of science.
But this room smells more of a science research lab, touched up by tones of a mad scientist.
“Simply speaking, it’s the force borrowed from another world.”
The credibility of her speech was incredibly low, but the mere fact of me in another person’s body was incredible enough to keep my mouth shut.
“Daisuke, you should have heard of stuff like superpower or miracles. There are often things occurring in our world that are impossible to be explained by science.”
“Personally, I don’t find any of this convincing, but I can’t argue when I’m in this body…”
The body I was now using wasn’t Daisuke Takebayashi’s. So no one would believe in me if I said this wasn’t a miracle.
“These things could be done by the force borrowed from another world. This is what we call the magic force. They make things that couldn’t be explained in this world happen.”
“I’m starting to get you now.”
“And there are specialists who research in these unexplainable forces. Some believe they are investigating the force of G.o.d. Some want stronger power. Among them, my ancestors were the ones who believe in the strong relationships between the souls and the unbelievable powers.”
I had never of a saying with such low credibility. But I couldn’t rebuke about the soul thing.
After all, I really did float around in the air after falling off the cliff.
“On a side note, the skills of transferring souls to other bodies had become very advanced to this moment. Some who specialise in soul research in our family excel in these techniques. Thanks to these techniques, I can recycle your soul through air.”
“So this body is a vessel for souls?”
“Right. While we’re doing an experiment on testing Franky, we found our soul and immediately operated on it.”
“Franky? Do you mean this body? Oh, something like Frankenstein, I guess.”
Looking at it from some point of view, I was quite lucky.
No wait. How was falling off a cliff while hiking anything lucky?
“Your body was made based on previous researches. Oh right, the making of the elephant was embarra.s.sing…”
Majiyuka covered her mouth, her face red.
“You don’t have to say it out flat! Please forget that word!”
“We have a longstanding saying in our family. That is ‘those who belittle elephants will suffer from elephants one day’.”
“What a bad saying. So there were elephants in j.a.pan before? Okay, I’ll admit I know nothing of the ages when mammoths or palaeoloxodons roamed.”
“According to the history our family pa.s.sed down, our family secretly moved to j.a.pan from Europe when witches were hunted down radically.”
“That’s why your parents would go to France.”
“Yeah. At the moment, I am undergoing training as a warrior in j.a.pan. This place is like a Bodhimanda. Okay, I’ve gone too far. Let’s get back to our topic.”
Cough. Cough.
Majiyuka faked a cough.
Her movements looked so coa.r.s.e, like a child pretending to be an adult.
“People around the world investigate different kinds of unbelievable powers. But later we know that these powers are actually the same ones. So we name them in unison the magic power, and define all those having this power witches.”
“So magic girls, mikos, and druids can be all said as witches.”
“Right. Although there are different ways of how each one of them look at it, the things we research are similar, so are our techniques. The things we know about souls are similar too, and most researches discovered the flowing characteristic in souls.”
“Of course, there are few to none tribes would deny the presence of souls.”
“ Rebirth is one of these concepts. Once a living thing dies, its soul will run to another world, and come back to this world in another living being. The memories of its past self will all vanish. Souls are the fuel for producing life.”
“Is the other world you speak of the netherworld?”
“Yes. To produce other lives, the souls would run through a line of processes before going back to this world. Because of increasing population recently, more and more souls are specialised for humans. Also, even though the memories of the past self are wiped away, there are times when mistakes occur and some people would remember them.”
“It sounds like newspaper being recycled as toilet paper.”
“That’s right. This concept is similar to recycling.”
So that was why the grim reaper guy would sing something like a recycling son.
Rebirth was really like recycling.
“But doesn’t this mean my self would completely vanish after I die?”
If I were to become a cow after death, the cat wouldn’t remember it had been Daisuke Takebayashi. So it was basically the complete disappearance of Daisuke Takebayashi (the self).
“Of course. This is why many who couldn’t accept this fate continue doing research. Immortality is one of these issues. One way is to transfer the soul to another body while the soul is still conscious—this is what I did.”
Majiyuka crossed her arms around her chest, showing a face of success.
What a child.
But this was some pretty awesome technique.
“You’ll be brought to the netherworld if we were a few minutes late.”
“Sure is. There was someone like a grim reaper approaching me happily at that time…”
It was bullet miss. Should I call it lucky to be alive? No, I did die once. It is difficult to define the living and the dead.
This also explained why I would appear differently here.
Still, there were things I had not yet made clear.
“Majiyuka, you’re a witch, right?”
“Yeah. I am.”
“What magic did you use to catch my soul?”
Only now had I noticed that I didn’t know the most crucial point in the magic. I had never seen Majiyuka use supernatural powers.
Perhaps it was my curiosity. I was quite intrigued by all this magic stuff.
“Oh? I can’t use that for show. It exhausts me very much for that.”
Majiyuka rejected by waving her hand.
So pulling souls sound quite difficult.
“If we don’t have enough preparation, it’s extremely difficult to pull souls. The successful times in a hundred times are at most three times.”
“The successful rate is too low to be true! I lived because of that three times!”
Why was I lucky in this heck of a thing? Was I a natural born unlucky guy, or did I had a body that would easily stumble across rare stuff?
“If done by the superb skills of my ancestors, the success rate is seventy percent, mind you.”
“So it was just your bad skills after all!”
Her bad skills almost killed me.
“Oh right, I have a very important thing to ask you,” I asked, looking at her eyes.
The stuff we mentioned bothered no bit even if I knew nothing of it.
But there was a thing I had to know no matter what.
“I think you can guess what I want to ask…”
“Yes, I know what you are worried.”
She nodded lightly.
“But rest a.s.sured! I have been practicing for a long time! The amount of eggsh.e.l.l pieces in a omelet rice has been lowered to fifth of its total amount!”
“To shorten it from the third of it to the fifth of it is a great improvement, but there’s still a lot!”
Since primary school, cooking had always been her interest.
But her cooking skills were close to zero. Negative might even be a good description.
It was h.e.l.l break loose back then. The eggsh.e.l.ls perforated my mouth, blood filling inside. And thanks to those eggsh.e.l.ls, her cooking was ample with calcium. But what I needed was iron.
“Besides, I can now tell salt apart from sugar! Am I worthy of praise?”
“Who would praise you?! I think you should be humiliated by your own sense for not even being able to tell them apart in primary school!”
“So let’s leave dinner up to me! I will do my best to provide food that won’t kill!”
“Food that won’t kill? Your aim is too low! Besides, this isn’t what I was going to ask!”
“Morning tomorrow will be bread, cheese, and frog-like food.”
“I’m not asking you about tomorrow’s breakfast either. And did you say frogs?!”
“I didn’t say frogs. I said something like it.”
“This doesn’t make it sound any better at all!”
Who would eat something that not even the one responsible know what it is?
“Because…you ate the omelet rice I had thrown a frog into before…”
“My…you added such ingredients in an omelet rice.”
I even knew of this supposedly unknown past.
During primary one, she told me she would make some food, so I went to her house and ate something like an omelet rice but with an entirely different taste.
So there were ingredients added that should never be.
“Okay, there’s something more important than ingredients that I want to ask…”
“Yes, what is it?”
“Can I return to my original body?”
Of course, I was not the real Daisuke Takebayashi now.
And I knew this would sound like something only a chuunibyou would say, but what I was saying was the reality, not a metaphor.
The body I was in now was only an artificial Franky.
Perhaps Majiyoka was a girl that she made this body quite pretty. But in the end, this wasn’t my body.
Besides, my family would be shocked to see me in this body.
Even if I wanted to persuade them by DNA recognition, the results would only prove otherwise.
Also, whether this body had any blood or genetic information was beyond my apprehension.
“Okay! No problem! Your soul is fine. We only have to have your body.”
She nodded forcefully.
Her hat fell down again.
“Wahhh! A witch’s hat is more important than her life!”
“If it’s that important, then why don’t you be more careful?”
If it would fall down here and there, why don’t she just tie it around her chin?
“Once the cardial system in a human stops, isn’t he a goner if he isn’t resuscitated?
“This problem can be solved through our family’s dark magic,” she said, at ease.
Simply hearing this, I thought she was more of a doctor than a witch.
After all, there were weird machinery and a bed around.
The most important thing was that I had never seen her use magic.
“But hadn’t it been already several hours after my fall? If we don’t act quick, wouldn"t the police pick up my body?”
Most likely, my cla.s.smates also saw the place of my fall.
“There’s an old ancestor who went to pick up your body. My ancestors are professional ones that will be quicker than the police. If everything goes well, you can return to your own body as quickly as today.”
“That is enough to stop me worrying. I have been thinking of how to tell this to my family.”
I was unlucky, but at least I grew up in a warm family.
My little sister Koaki, though spoke little to me, had a good relationship with me.
I wouldn’t want to let my family worry.
a.s.suring them peace with this body would only execute an occult phenomenon, so I had better be more patient.
“So before returning to your body, you can take a good rest here.”
“I understand. Right, there is something I remembered.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“Didn’t you say in your message you had something important to tell me? What is it actually?”
We planned to meet originally tomorrow, but ended up today because of this accident.
What did she plan to say, I wonder?
“Ah…”
She held the edges of her hat tightly with both of her hands.
As if covering her whole head with it.
“That’s for explaining to you I’m a witch. Now that’s done, it’s not important any longer!”
Right. There was nothing more important than this.
“There seems to be no problem up to now with using this body. Can I take a look at the other rooms?”
“Sure. It would be quite troubling if there’s anything wrong with the body. For safety reasons, let me tour you around.”
There was not anything weird with walking, so I guessed it was all right.
I opened the door of the lab.
And I quickly saw a female sleeping in the corridor.
She was a gold-haired girl sleeping on the floor, exposing her belly, quite a bad posture. Wait, the question is why she would be sleeping here.
“Fuah…”
The female spoke in her dream, and even stretched her hand to scratch her belly.
Oh, guh. The area of her exposure increased!
“Don’t do this! Old ancestor!”
Majiyoka shook the female’s body, but she had no trace of waking up.
“Isn’t she a bit too young for an old ancestor?”
She looked around twenty at most.
“This isn’t her original body. She is now using an artificial body.”
“An immortal self, uh? Didn’t you say your house’s old ancestor went out to find my body?”
Although this was my personal request, it would be quite troubling if the one supposed to save me was now soundly sleeping in the corridor.
Everything ends if the police takes the corpse away.
“Ahah, that’s my grand-grand-grand-grand-grandmother. This is my grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grandmother. The two of them are different.”
“I’m puzzled by how many generations your old ancestors have. Anyway, so the one rescuing me is another person, isn’t it?
“Yes. Sleeping over there is my grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grandmother. “
At the end of the corridor, there was another female lying on the floor, looking almost exactly like the one in front of me.
“Research takes up a lot of time. This is why it is common to use other bodies to continue investigating.”
“This is at least one thing I understand now. Your family is such a wonder.”
“By the way, there are seven old ancestors in this family. One of them went to recycle your body.”
After that, I saw a sleeping old ancestor in the kitchen and one sleeping while being hung from the ceiling.
Looking at their sleeping faces, I became to get worried for the one who went to pick up my body.
Strolling around the corridor, I thought I smelled a special odor like incense sticks.
Thin, white smoke also floated around the air.
“Hey, what is this smoke and smell?”
“They come from the chapel. Do you want to take a look?”
Looking at her calm face, I should expect the house didn’t catch fire.
“The chapel? Do your family believe in Christian? Witches sound more like those who don’t believe in it.”
“That benevolent, marvelous G.o.d fits the image of Dark Magic quite well.”
What she said intrigued me, so I went into the smoke puffing room for a look.
On the altar was some lizard-like statue composed of countless tentacles. I believe that most likely wasn’t a lizard but something scarier.
Tools with unknown purposes were placed around, along with disgusting masks.
Adding to that, there were nine tablets being placed upright, carved with words I didn’t understand.
The lizard-like statue even made shrieks of “Scram, scram…”
I quickly left the room.
“So I know that isn’t Christian or Buddhist.”
“If you say so, that’s a bit strange after all.”
“Is that statue a statue of a G.o.d? What religion is this?”
“Except for the time of sacrifice, we cannot mention the G.o.d’s name. I’ll tell you in the next lunar eclipse.”
“Okay, I think I’m better off not knowing.”
“It’s a G.o.d to maintain peace.”
“Bulls.h.i.t! That’s a much more dangerous G.o.d!”
Like a G.o.d who would maintain peace would be made by a crawling body composed of tentacles.
“Meh, that’s a G.o.d who maintains the rules of the stars and natural phenomena.”
“That’s way beyond just peace.”
“Oh, it’s time for sacri—I mean presents.”
“You did say sacrifice.”
“You’ve heard it wrong. That’s a G.o.d of love and peace. It won’t be harmful if you don’t bear any enmity.”
“What’s that subtle condition you placed at the end?!”
“Hold on a minute, let me get the presents.”
Majiyoka dashed out of the corridor.
I hope the sacrifice wouldn’t be something like a small lamb.
A minute later, she came back holding a bag of sashimi.
“This is fine for the present. Please bless me today too, G.o.d. Please let neighbours who raise cats to increase and those who raise dogs to decrease.”
Majiyoka lowered her head twice, clapped twice, and then lowered her head once again.
“Is it fine for you to use this way of worshipping the shrine? And why did you make the last part of your wish that specific?”
I remember that the only thing she was afraid of since she was small was dogs.
Continuing along the corridor, we came to a place with doors on either side.
“Come to think of it, your house is quite large.”
There were at least seven old ancestors kicking around, and the number of rooms was surprisingly a lot. The decorations in each room were exquisite, giving the aura of n.o.ble houses.
“Our family, the Urushibara, is quite a famous witch family. According to the myths, an old ancestor was called as a divine witch for governing souls. Thing happened later, and our family was referred to as ‘The Pitch Black Urushibara’.”
“What history you have there. Right, what rooms do you call these? Are they the old ancestor’s personal rooms?”
Each of these rooms had a door sign.
Curious, I looked at these signs.
‘Dangerous! You will die if you open it!’
‘This must be sealed for at least five years’
‘The dates allowed to open 3/3, 5/5, 7/7, 9/9’
‘Don’t open this door no matter what, or else…’
“Aren’t there just too many rooms not allowed to be opened?!”
This house was dangerous.
“Sorry, there are many dangerous rooms, but living normally is quite safe.”
“It would be a headache if even living normally would be dangerous!”
“Oh, Daisuke, you can’t step on that!”
She quickly waved her hands, her nerves severely racked up.
“Hey, what did you say I cannot step on? What is here?”
I moved back from where I was going to step on, noticing a magic circle drawn on the corridor floor.
“If you step on that, it’ll revive! Really revive!”
“What will revive? Please explain yourself!”
“It’s the ‘Reckless Monster Sunk in the Deep Ocean’!”
“I don’t give a heck to what that means, but it’s something of universal-scale danger, isn’t it? You shouldn’t draw a magic circle for such a dangerous thing in the corridor, then.”
In this house, even walking down the corridor demanded extra attention.
And such, Majiyoka toured me around the rooms. And my body gradually experienced a biological trait.
To make it short, I wanted to go to the washroom.
I couldn’t believe I would want to go to the washroom. I hadn’t drunk any water after using this body.
“Um, where’s the washroom?”
“Walk along that corridor and then turn right to the end. The washroom’s there.”
“For safety precautions, let me first ask: is it okay to open the washroom’s door?”
“The washroom has been cleaned nicely. It wouldn’t smell.”
“Then it’s fine then. Off I go.”
The toilet was the typical western-style toilet you would find anywhere.
Phrasing what she had said, I had an elephant made very delicately, so the process was extremely smooth. I am not trying to joke around by this. This was very important to me.
But it just felt weird to use someone else’s body for this.
After I was done, I wiped my hand clean to return to Majiyoka.
Hmmm?
Hey?
Why couldn’t I move my body?
I wanted to zip my pants, but my body paid no heed to my conscious.
That is to say, I now had my pants off—of course, there was still a distance before being fully naked.
Could it be that my soul could not adapt this body?
But I didn’t have the feeling of floating in the air now.
At this moment, my brain played a weird message.
‘An important application is being installed now. Please wait a moment.’
“What is this message?”
‘Installing applications will use some time. Please enjoy the scenery before you while waiting.’
“There’s only a toilet in front of me! Who would want to enjoy that!”
“What happened to you?” Majiyoka came in after several minutes.
“Hey, why did weird messages play in my brain?”
“Oh, that’s the automatic updates. They run themselves thirty minutes after the soul enters the body.”
“It used up more time than I imagined.”
“This system is borrowed from my old ancestors.”
“Your old ancestors are quite the funny type.”
Chilly wind blew from the window. My lower body was quite cold.
“Hey, can you help me out here?”
“Are-Aren’t you in the toilet? An elephant in a compact s.p.a.ce…I don’t think I’ll want to head inside.”
“That’s right. My apologies. Forget it then.”
A message played again in my mind.
‘To prevent you from being too bored, we’ll now play the ten best songs of this week.’
“Ah, cool. I can now kill some time.”
‘The tenth place: the Lullaby Elephant’
“Who will hear your s.h.i.tty song! The tenth place it surely goes!”
Those messages were too evil!
In the end, I had to stand, my a.s.s exposed, for a total of thirty minutes, so dirty I’d rather die. Wait, I did die once, didn’t I?”
“Sorry, I’ll improve its faults of not being able to move suddenly.”
Majiyoka lowered her head in apology once I stepped out of the washroom.
The sharp hat on her head almost fell again. She quickly stretched her hand to stable it.
“Majiyoka, are you called a stupid and cute person at school?”
“Hey, how did you know, Daisuke?”
“Ask your hat.”
Of course I was joking, but Majiyoka got serious.
“Hey, am I really a stupid and cute person?”
Majiyoka took off her hat and asked it.
“Hey, how can a hat possibly answer you?!”
“Stupid and cute, stupid and cute.”
Gosh, the hat really answered.
“So I really am a stupid and cute person. How depressing.”
“It doesn’t matter if you are one anymore! What’s inside that hat you have!”
“My familiar. Want to have a look?”
She pointed inside the hat.
“I’m a familiar. I’m a familiar.”
Voice with no articulation came from the hat again. Hey, there is certainly something inside.
“No, I think I’ll pa.s.s. Some things are not meant to be seen.”
Leaving the toilet, I went off to the living room.
I planned originally to spend time leisurely with Majiyoka in the living room, but we couldn’t make a sound conversation.
“It’s really been a long time since we’ve last met.”
“Yeah, and hearing suddenly that I’m a witch, you was really shocked, wasn’t you?”
“Of course.”
It is embarra.s.sing to say, but I was still quite nervous now.
I was busy joking about the house, I averted my attention, but now looking, I found the bodily change in Majiyoka very great.
Seven years are a great deal of time, but I could have never expected that she would have become so beautiful.
I felt I had been talking with a beautiful girl on our first meeting.
“Af-After you’ve moved here, you’d at least have a boyfriend, right?”
Perhaps we were childhood friends, I could worry for her like her parents.
“Boyfriend? h.e.l.l no. If I had one, my ident.i.ty as a witch would easily get known.”
“Oh, you’re right.”
This research could not be easily seen. If I hadn’t been in another person’s body, I guess I wouldn’t be so convinced at the beginning.
“I have been confessed, but because of my ident.i.ty as a witch I’ve rejected them.”
“I, I see.”
That’s great, great…
Hey, why am I heaving a sigh?
What had I been thinking? She was my childhood friend who saved me.
d.a.m.n, I still couldn’t revert to the same old att.i.tude ago. Was this the gap built after seven years?
I wouldn’t get embarra.s.sed seven years ago and would even join hands with her.
Now I wouldn’t do that even if you point a gun at me.
“Okay, it’s time to prepare dinner!”
Majiyoka walked to the kitchen, which was connected to the living room. It took only a few steps for her to get there, so talking with her at this distance was fine.
Majiyoka wore a normal white ap.r.o.n, instead of a black one which I had expected.
With that white ap.r.o.n on, she looked a bit like a maid.
“Majiyoka, you really like cooking.”
I had tried quite some of her food when I was small.
“Cooking is very similar to witch experimenting. One ingredient encompa.s.ses endless possibilities!”
Oh, those multi-dimensional food…
But speaking of which, she could now tell salt apart from sugar. She should have improved a lot…I guessed.
“Do you want to eat j.a.panese-style food or Black-style food?”
“j.a.panese-style for all sake.”
“j.a.panese-style then. I’ve got some pretty nice ingredients today. They are all jumping and as lively as ones that can attack me.”
“Attack?”
I thought I heard some strange word. Did she mean living crabs?
“Do you need a hand?”
“No thanks. You’re my guest today. I’ll make some good food for you. Woah, the ingredients are running away and trying to get back to its planet.”
“Hey, what planet?! You should say it"s the sea!”
“It’s even trying to attack with its tentacles! Come on. Try to continue your futile resistance. Let me cut you with this kitchen knife!”
“Please let me give you a hand! At least let me have a look at what you are going to cook!”
“That isn’t any strange food. It’s just octopus-like food.”
“What do you mean by ‘like’?!”
“Fuu, the chopping block almost melted.”
“That isn’t an octopus at all! Octopuses don’t melt down chopping blocks!”
“Don’t worry. It’s washed with alkaline water; the poison will go away.”
“Poison! Did you say poison?!”
Oh, it was this kind of feeling.
Our usual chat we had ages ago.
Even after seven years, her personality hadn’t changed.
“Hey, why are you smirking, Daisuke?”
“Nah, it’s just a bit touching.”
“Okay, so you’re so looking forward to this octopus-like food. I’ll work hard!”
“Not any bit. You got it all wrong!”
“My old ancestor once told me this thing is much tastier than octopuses.”
“Please don’t make such comparisons. Normal octopuses are very good.”
“Or should I do a takoyaki? It’s a tough one.”
“Please make a takoyaki! You can still change your decision now!”
Anxiety is anxiety all right. She managed to complete making the food.
Rice, pickled vegetables, bean curd miso soup, and stewed octopus-like food.
The octopus’s legs look oddly like a squid’s, and there are feathers on it. What on earth was this?
“Thanks to the sun, G.o.ds, angels, and demons for giving us food. Here I go!”
She clasped her hands and said, full of spirit. Although I reckon it needless to thank the demons, witches seem to think otherwise.
“Oh, Daisuke, they are my old ancestors.”
Out of nowhere, there were six almost identical females gathered beside the dining table.
Those who had been sleeping seemed to have woken up.
How dazzling it was to see gold hair all over the table.
Their appearance looked like a mix between the Urushibara ancestors and j.a.panese.
They looked pretty and all, but with six people together it was anything but crowded.
Besides, this wasn’t the total number of old ancestors. One of them went to the mountains to pick up my body.
“Is he the childhood friend of Majiyoka?” “How are you?” “Hey, how do you think of Majiyoka?” “Long sleep pains the head…” “Can I drink wine?” “Octopus-like food is delicious.”
The six of them spoke at the same time, so I couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Probably it would be nice to have a chat with them since they were now the same as Majiyoka’s guardians when her parents were overseas.
“What interests do each of you old ancestors have?”
“Chess.” “Croquet.” “Tai Chi.” “Collecting stamps.” “National Health Exercise.” “Poems.”
“Are you all old people? No, wait, they really are, according to their ages. But it’s still hard to believe when you look at their faces.”
And they had different personalities.
“What kind of sushis do each of you enjoy?”
“Tuna.” “Salmon.” “Mackerel.” “Sp.a.w.n.” “Sea Urchin.” “Pudding.”
“Looks like we’ve got a child here.”
Of course, there may be pudding in a conveyor-belt sushi shop, but that’s not really a sushi.
“What is the thing you most want to do now?”
“ “ “ “ “ “Sleep!” “ “ “ “
“Don’t get so unified only in these times!”
These people are sure old farts.
And they seem even more evil because of their young appearances.
“Old ancestor, calm down. Have some TV.”
“I want to watch cartoon.” “Period drama.” “National Broadcast.” “Baseball compet.i.tion.” “The news.” “Let me watch soap opera.”
The six of them started to argue over the right to watch the channel of their favour. Majiyoka and I stayed at a side eating dinner.
“Oh, this octopus-like food is unexpectedly delicious, though I don’t have any idea of what it is.”
“It’s great you like it. It’s hard to catch it. The old ancestors had to call for it using the ‘Abyss Circle’.”
“Hey, you said something that would ruin my appet.i.te.”
Okay, fine, I admit this was pretty great.
“If you receive its mental electric signals, you would suffer from serious headaches and nightmares. It’s fortunate that we had killed it before it launched its evil fangs.”
“Why do I have a creeping fear that I’m ruining some existence that humans should never encroach? It’s really fine, right?”
I used the best knowledge I could come remember to guess of a G.o.d that looked similar.
Deeper thoughts would only scare me. So I gradually gave up and put my attention on eating.
I sipped some of the miso soup.
“Sugar was really added to the bean curd miso soup. Too sweet.”
“Oh, I remember I had a one of a third chance of success.”
“This is not a problem of chance anymore, hey.”
“I even prepared an authentic Hatcho miso, but I messed up and threw in sugar.”
“Let me do the checking job next time first. How come you can mess them up?”
There certainly was something wrong with her tastes. No, probably there was something else wrong too.
“But today’s quite peaceful,” she said, smiling as if sighing.
“Daisuke, you’re luck is pretty bad. I thought more terrible things would happen.”
“Right. To meet falling rocks on a bus. To meet sharks while playing beside the river. There have been a lot of unlucky things happened to me. Those sharks I saw that time scared the h.e.l.l out of me.”
“Yeah. When both of our families went to the small islands for travel, we even came across pirates. How fortunate it was that you weren’t taken away. We also came across thieves on the mountains while picnicking. You were the only one taken away that time.”
“Hey, why does my tears come out when you bring those things out again…”
Compared to the dismal past, today was quite a peaceful day. Great.
“Right, is my body found out yet?”
“The old ancestor just contacted me that she had confirmed the spot you had fallen to and was taking you back.”
“Thanks. I thought she was sleeping.”
“She just woke up.”
“She really was sleeping!”
“So it will take some more time. Do you want to take a bath first?”
“Um, that…”
It was a bit embarra.s.sing to take a bath in the house full with females.
“Oh, you don’t have to pay much mind to it. This is good for me too, as I can check the water-proof capability of this body since I had little to none experience of transferring souls. But when I put it like this, probably you’ll be quite unhappy that I’m treating you like an experiment.”
“Okay, then I feel even better for taking a bath. Thanks.”
“Yeah, even the old ancestors only use their own souls for their experiments. This is the first time moving someone else’s souls. At first, I had no idea I would use Franky’s body, the body I usually use for practicing.”
When you take another view of this situation, exchanging bodies count as defying G.o.d. So this could only be done with special care.
So Majiyoka let me use the bathroom first.
Their family’s bathroom was as large as I expected.
Five people could easily fit in, and there were three shower heads. It should be designed for several persons to take baths together. After all, merely counting the old ancestors there were already seven people.
Although I had no idea of how their family earned their money, their riches were beyond doubt.
It felt a bit weird to wash this body belonging to someone else, but this was also why I had to keep it clean.
This was the att.i.tude of ending something you started.
Having washed the body, I slowly lifted my leg into the tub. This big tub that allowed one to stretch their limbs to their heart’s content was fantastic. If I were to win the lottery, the first thing I would do would be to build a big tub.
So I bathed for nearly fifteen minutes.
Afraid that I might faint for bathing too long, I stood up from the tub.
“So this body is good in waterproof too, eh?”
When I was trying to leave the bathroom, my body became static.
d.a.m.n…not in this place…
Another message played in my brain.
‘As the waterproof time limit have pa.s.sed, the body will be temporarily shut down. Sorry.’
Even if you use such a cute tone…
‘But you didn’t ask Majiyoka of the waterproof duration, so you have to bear part of the responsibility.’
Y-Yeah, you might be right…
‘As we have to turn on the safe mode this time, the voice box function will also be temporarily shut down. Before the repair technician come, please enjoy the scenery before you.’
What? There’s only a door in front of me! Why do I have to enjoy the scenery every time something happens!
‘If you got tired of the scenery, then please think what you would do if you won one hundred million dollars in a lottery.’
Why will you want to know?! Majiyoka, please don’t add these useless functions in this thing!
‘The function now performing is developed by her grand-grand-grand-grand-grandmother.’
Oh, I get it.
‘To prevent you from boredom, let me talk about some shocking, l.u.s.ty experience of mine.’
Please don’t!
‘Then please wait. Bye.’
What should I do?
What could I do…
Without anyone to take care of this, there was nothing I could do. With this naked body, d.a.m.ned I would be when being rescued.
Worst thing is—a poor victim was coming in.
“Hey, Daisuke, are you still bathing? Daisuke!”
Not seeing me for a long time, Majiyoka thought I had finished and had come before the washroom.
“Daisuke! Daisuke who hates parsleys and eggsh.e.l.ls! You aren’t inside, are you?! Okay, it seems no one’s inside the bathroom.”
Eggsh.e.l.ls aren’t a kind of food; please don’t add them in! And not being able to speak is not my fault but this body’s!
Majiyoka opened the door of the bathroom.
“Let me take a good bath…Wahhh.”
She was stunned. How do I put it? Fortunate it was that she still had a towel. My eyes didn’t move, so I didn’t look at her important parts.
“Fl-Flasher! My childhood friend is a flasher! Elephant Army! Hannibal Conquering Rome!”
Please don’t make a metaphor that would abase Carthaginian’s General!
“Eh, did it pa.s.s the limit of its waterproof function? That’s why you can’t even speak a word.”
As you would expect.
“Sorry, I thought you had developed some kind of fetishes after going to high school.”
How many misunderstandings do my childhood friend have for me?
“Hold on a minute!”
Majiyoka went out to wrap herself with a bathing towel and came back swiftly.
The strange thing was that she was still wearing her sharp hat. Does the repair work require her hat?
“The repair work is sort. We can do it here. Let me first restore you voice.”
She then flicked my throat with her finger.
It was more like a child’s play than anything magical.
“Ouch! Why did you flick my throat!”
“Look. It’s fine now.”
Woah, I can speak again now!
“What? That’s it? What kind of body is this?”
“There’s a switch on the throat. So a flick will do. Just wait a bit longer, I’ll regain your freedom. There are a few mistakes here and there because this is the first time I have transferred souls.”
Majiyoka used the same way to flick other body parts and squeeze some others. It looked like playing with my body, but I could tell from her look that she was serious.
“Um, water will come out now.”
But I become really sorry. She helped me so seriously, yet this situation was too embarra.s.sing for me to do anything.
With only one bath towel on her, she squirmed around me.
There were several times where she almost exposed her important parts.
Of course closing the eyes would help, but I couldn’t because of the body’s condition.
“I’m sorry to have you to repair it. Can you not move around with only a bath towel on you?”
“Eh…”
Majiyoka was stunned again.
Okay, this time she should understand what I meant. We were childhood friends, to say the least.
“C-Could it be…”
Yeah, that. So put on your clothes and come back.
“Do you want me to take off the towel and become naked to repair you? You super pervert! You perverted Seii General!”
Her face was completely red and about to cry. Hey, is it my fault?
“You’re getting it wrong! That’s not what I mean!”
“Do you want me to repair you with just one hat on? That’s worse than requesting me to be fully naked! You indecent king of l.u.s.t! Daisuke, you’re better off being sent to the tentacle h.e.l.l of octopus-like animals!”
“Wait, please don’t get all mad! You’re the one who wants to wear the hat! I have no such fetish! Believe me!”
I spent a total of five minutes, convincing and lying, to persuade her that I had no malicious intention. I acquired several names, including lascivious king, perverted Daimo G.o.d, Virgin Hill of l.u.s.t. In return, I threw them all back at her after the misunderstanding was solved. I call it even.
So was I lucky or unlucky?
—
“Isn’t it about time?”
I complained, looking at the clock on the wall.
It was ten in the night. The message of finding my body should return.
We were waiting in the lab for any news.
“The phone call didn’t come…”
“Those old ancestors have large guts that can sleep wherever they want in five minutes. Please don’t worry.”
“This isn’t any a.s.suring fact. Forget it. I’ll trust you.”
Eyeing the old black telephone, I expect the news to come soon.
“Speaking of which, why do you family have to use such an old telephone?”
“Don’t you think black telephones look cool? And that black style is great.”
“Here’s a question for you: which Kamen Rider do you like?
“Black Kamen Rider RX.”
So the colour she likes the most is black.
Now that I think about it, she really enjoyed cuttlefish noodles in the past too.
It was now five minutes past ten.
Ring, ring, ring.
“The phone!”
Majiyoka immediately picked up the phone.
I placed my face close to the hearing end to hear what they were saying. This mattered my life, after all.
“Ah, Majiyoka. It’s me. There was no signal in the mountain just then. I can only phone you after I got down.”
“Okay, old ancestor. Have you got the body?”
“I-I…failed…”
Hey, was there something in my ear? I seemed to hear something bad.
“His body was s.n.a.t.c.hed by someone else.”
s.n.a.t.c.hed!
“She seemed to be waiting for me to take his body. When I found his body, she gave me a disdainful smile and said she would never hand the body over to me. With that said, she disappeared with his body. She must be some evil witch…that’s all I know for now. Bye.”
When the conversation ended, I fell to the floor on the spot.
“What? My body was s.n.a.t.c.hed? I’m just a commonplace high school student? What use is there?”
Misfortune came to me again…
My life was always like this. Every time hope shows its face, it smacks me in the face and betrays me.
I couldn’t think straight now.
Only a deep sense of loss conquered my body.
Losing my body would mean there wouldn’t be the person Daisuke Takebayashi any longer in this world.
The report just then meant the death trial for Daisuke Takebayashi had initiated.
“Yeah, how wo