"Why"s that? From what you"ve told me there is a logical reasoning behind your fear and that there is a chance that something else could happen.""I just keep thinking about when I tried to leave him on the bridge. Jian just looked so hurt, like I"ve never seen before. It hurts more the longer it goes on. I wish I could see him just one more time. Just to see him and know that he"s doing well."
"Then why don"t you?"
"Because I turned my back on him. I told him to go and to marry another woman. To go lead a good life with someone else. Thinking about him getting with another woman kills me. I feel so torn, I told him to do that but if he actually did it would kill me.
"Every day feels like it kills me a little more anyways. Like I"m being hollowed out slowly the longer I"m away from Jian."
"Then don"t let him find another woman and just go to him."
"Excuse me? But what about his father, what about Ju-Long?"
"What about him? If you"re going through a living death already every day, then what is holding you back, what are you afraid of? Aren"t you more afraid of having to live every day for the rest of your life like this?
"Or how about this. Do you really want to see him marry another, and have children with them too? Do you really want to go on the rest of your life not knowing if you two really had a chance, and that you may have blown it?"
"... " Picturing the thought Chang"s eyes went open wide in horror and she could not answer.
"Maybe like Jian told you, you should have a little more faith in him. Take the leap of faith. Worry about his father when you get to that.
"Because if you really want him girl, then you should go after him. He want after you three times, it"s your turn now. You should be more proactive in this since things have come to where they are."
"But what about the hurtful things I did?"
"I don"t know what you need to say for everything, but maybe start with apologizing. And tell him you love him because you obviously do. But you should tell him that to his face."
"You"re right, I do love him
I know I"m right, so get off your a.s.s girl, leave America, and go get your man!"
"Thank you Justin."
"Any time! You"d better get off your b.u.t.t though and quit wasting time."
"I will... I"m still a little scared though."
"That"s because you haven"t faced what is to come, the unknown of the darkness is always scarier. Just be brave and know that there"s people who have you back."
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Hearing Justin take a long drag off his cigarette, Chang sighed and shook her head.
"Hey Justin, you should probably quit smoking, my own advice as a friend to you. I would like to be friends with you for a long time but that won"t be possible if you die of lung or throat cancer early. You"re my best friend Justin, I don"t want to see that happen to you."
Shocked Justin inhaled his cigarette before coughing it out violently into his open palm. Sputtering he ma.s.saged his raw throat wondering wryly how she heard as he thought he had been stealthy.
"How did she know dam ears of a fox!"
"Hehe try not to choke now!" Hearing him sputter Chang giggled, imagining the scene she heard.
"I wont, you go get your man now, tell me all about it later, and invite me to your wedding, "kay! Love ya, talk to you later!" After speaking Justin quickly hung up on her.
Sitting on the edge of the bed Chang threw her phone beside her before flopping back.
"I should ready myself first..
"Then I guess I"m coming for you this time Jian.."