"If it ever "gets a hold" on me it will because I deliberately wish it to," she said haughtily. "If Langdon Masters--has gone as far as you say, I don"t believe it is through any inherited weakness. He has done it deliberately."
"I grant that. And I"m sorry if I offended you--"
"I am only grateful to you. I feel better now and can think a little.
Something must be done. Surely he can be saved."
"I doubt it. When a man starts scientifically drinking himself to death nothing can be done when there is nothing better to offer him. May I be frank?"
"I have been frank enough!"
"Masters told me nothing of course, but I heard all the talk. Old Travers let out his part of it in his cups, and news travels from the Clubs like water out of a sieve. We don"t publish that sort of muck, but there were innuendoes in that blackguard sheet, _The Boom_. They stopped suddenly and I fancy the editor had a taste of the horsewhip.
It wouldn"t be the first time.... When Masters sent for me and told me he was leaving San Francisco for good and all, he looked like a man who had been through Dore"s h.e.l.l--was there still, for that matter. Of course I knew what had happened; if I hadn"t I"d have known it the next day when I saw the doctor. He looked bad enough, but nothing to Masters. He had less reason! Of course Masters threw his career to the winds to save your good name. n.o.blesse oblige. Too bad he wasn"t more of a villain and less of a great gentleman. It, might have been better all round. This town certainly needs him."
"If he were not a great gentleman nothing would have happened in the first place," she said with cool pride. "But I asked you if there were no way to save him."
"I can think of only two ways. If your husband would write and ask him to return to San Francisco--"
"He"d never do that."
"Then you might--you might--" He was fair and blushed easily. Being secretly a sentimental youth he was shy of any of the verbal expressions of sentiment; but he swallowed and continued heroically.
"You--you--I think you love him. I can see you are not heartless, that you are terribly cut up. If you love him enough you might save him. A man like Masters can quit cold no matter how far he has gone if the inducement is great enough. If you went to New York--"
He paused and glanced at her apprehensively, but although she had gasped she only shook her head sadly.
"I"ll never break my husband"s heart and the vows I made at the altar, no matter what happens."
"Oh, you good women! I believe you are at the root of more disaster than all the strumpets put together!"
"It may be. I remember he once said something of the sort. But he loved me for what I am and I cannot change myself."
"You could get a divorce."
"I have no ground. And I would not if I had. He knows that."
"No wonder he is without hope! But I don"t pretend to understand women.
You"ll leave him in the gutter then?"
"Don"t!--Don"t--"
"Well, if he isn"t there literally he soon will be. I"ve seen men of your set in the gutter here when they"d only been on a spree for a week. Take Alexander Groome and Jack Belmont, for instance. And after the gutter it is sometimes the calaboose."
"You are cruel, and perhaps I deserve it. But if you will give me his address I will write to him."
"I wouldn"t. He might be too drunk to read your letter, and lose it. Or he might tear it up in a fury. I don"t fancy even drink could make Langdon Masters maudlin, and the sight of your handwriting would be more likely to make him empty the bottle with a curse than to awaken tender sentiment. Anyhow, it would be a risk. Some blackguard might get hold of it."
"Very well, I"ll not write. Will you tell the man to drive to the Occidental Hotel?"
He gave the order and when he drew in his head she laid her hand on his and said in her sweet voice and with her soft eyes raised to his (he no longer wondered that Masters had lost his head over her), "I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown me and the care you took of me in that restaurant. What you have told me has destroyed the little peace of mind I had left, but at least I"m no longer in the dark. I will confess that I went to that restaurant in the hope of seeing you and learning something about Masters. Nor do I mind that I have revealed myself to you without shame. I have had no confidant throughout all this terrible time and it has been a relief. I suppose it is always easier to be frank with a stranger than with even the best of friends."
"Thanks. But I"d like you to know that I am your friend. I"d do anything I could for you--for Masters" sake as well as your own. It"s an awful mess. Perhaps you"ll think of some solution."
"I"ve thought of one as far as I am concerned. I shall drink myself to death."
"What?" He was sitting sideways, embracing his knees, and he just managed to save himself from toppling over. "Have you gone clean out of your head?"
"Oh, no. Not yet, But I shall do as I said. If I cannot follow him I can follow his example. Why should he go to the dogs and I go through life with the respect and approval of the world? He is far greater than I--and better. I can at least share his disgrace, and I shall also forget--and, it may be, delude myself that I am with him at times."
"My G.o.d! The logic of women! How happy do you think _that_ will make your husband? Good old sport, the doctor--and as for religion--and vows!"
"One can stand so much and no more. I have reached the breaking point here in this carriage. It is that or suicide, and that would bring open disgrace on my husband. The other would only be suspected. And I"ll not last long."
The hack stopped in front of the hotel. She gave him her hand after he had escorted her to the door. "Thank you once more. And I"d be grateful if you would come and tell me if you have any further news of him--no matter what. Will you?"
"Yes," he said. "But I feel like going off and getting drunk, myself. I wish I hadn"t told you a thing."
"It wouldn"t have made much difference. If you know it others must, and I"d have heard it sooner or later. I hope you"ll call in any case."
He promised; but the next time he saw her it was not in a drawing-room.
XXIX
Madeleine had reached the calmness of despair once more, and this time without a glimmer of hope. Life had showered its gifts sardonically upon her before breaking her in her youth, and there was still a resource in its budget that it had no power to withhold. She was a firm believer in the dogmas of the Church and knew that she would be punished hereafter. Well, so would he. It might be they would be permitted to endure their punishment together. And meanwhile, there was oblivion, delusions possibly, and then death.
It was summer and there were no engagements to break. The doctor was caught in the whirlwind of another small-pox epidemic and lived in rooms he reserved for the purpose. He did not insist upon her departure from town as he knew her to be immune, and he thought it best she should remain where she could pursue her regimen uninterrupted; and tax her strength as little as possible. If he did not dismiss her from his mind at least he had not a misgiving. She had never disobeyed him, she appeared to have forgotten Masters at last, she took her tonics automatically, and there were good plays in town. In a few months she would be restored to health and himself.
He returned to the hotel at the end of six weeks. It was the dinner hour but his wife was not at the piano. He tapped on the door that led from the parlor to her bedroom, and although there was no response he turned the k.n.o.b and entered.
Madeleine was lying on the bed, asleep apparently.
He went forward anxiously; he had never known her to sleep at this hour before. He touched her lightly on the shoulder, but she did not awaken.
Then he bent over her, and drew back with a frown. But although horrified he was far from suspecting the whole truth. He had been compelled to break more than one patient of too ardent a fidelity to his prescriptions.
He forced an emetic down her throat, but it had no effect. Then he picked her up and carried her into the bath room and held her head under the shower. The blood flowed down from her congested brain. She struggled out of his arms and looked at him with dull angry eyes.
"What do you mean?" she demanded. "How dared you do such a thing to me?"
"You had taken too much, my dear," he said kindly. "Or else it affects you more than it did--possibly because you no longer need it. I shall taper you off by degrees, and then I think we can do without it."
"Without it? I couldn"t live without it. I need more--and more--" She looked about wildly.
"Oh, that is all right. They always think so at first. In six months you will have forgotten it. Remember, I am a doctor--and a good one, if I say so myself."
She dropped her eyes. "Very well," she said humbly. "Of course you know best."
"Now, put on dry clothes and let us have dinner. It seems a year since I dined with you."