"And how--what--what do you think?"
"I think that it would be lovely, only, of course, I don"t quite know it all, for I shall never have anything like it."
Madeleine started. "Oh, Jane, don"t say that."
"But it"s so, dear."
"Oh, _no_."
"No, dear,--I can guess and sympathize. But I shall never have any such happiness. It"s--it"s quite settled."
Madeleine left her seat, went round by the side of the other girl, flung herself down on the floor, and looked as if she were about to cry. "Oh, Jane, you mustn"t feel so. Why shouldn"t you marry?"
"I can"t, dear; I"ve debts of my father"s to pay, and I"m pledged to my Order."
"But they"ll get paid after a while."
"It will take all my youth."
"But a way can be found?"
"No way can ever be. There is no one in the wide world to help me. I"m quite alone."
"Why, Jane," said Madeleine, always kneeling and always looking up, "I know some one who can manage everything, and you do, too."
Jane stared a little. "My aunt, do you mean?"
"No,--G.o.d."
Jane smiled suddenly. "Thank you, dear. I hadn"t forgotten, but I just didn"t think. Still, I think G.o.d means me to be brave about my burdens.
I don"t think that He sees them as things from which to be relieved."
Madeleine was still looking up. "But the channel doesn"t think; the channel just conveys what pours along it," she whispered.
Just at this second the scene altered.
"Oh, there"s my aunt!" Jane exclaimed. Susan pa.s.sed the window, and the next minute she came in the door. "I"ve had the most bee--youtiful afternoon," she announced radiantly. "I did Jane lots of credit, for I never said a word about anybody, but oh, how splendid it was to just be good and silent, and hear all the others talk. They talked about everybody, and a good many were of my own opinion, so I had considerable satisfaction without doing a thing wrong."
Jane couldn"t help laughing or Madeleine, either. "Was young Mrs. Croft there?"
"No, and most everybody says that she"ll go off to-morrow and never come back, and we"ll have old Mrs. Croft till she dies. They looked at me pretty hard, but I stuck to my soul and never said a word."
"It was n.o.ble in you, Auntie," Jane said warmly.
"Yes, it was," a.s.sented Susan. Then she turned to Madeleine, who had returned to her chair. "Jane"s religion"s pretty hard on me, but I like its results, and I can do anything I set out to do, and I don"t mean to not get a future if I can help it. You see, my sister Matilda is a very peculiar person. You must know that by this time?"
"I have heard a good deal about her," Madeleine admitted.
"Well, I hope it isn"t unkind in me to say that I know more than anybody else can possibly imagine."
"But she"s coming back all right," Jane interrupted firmly; "we mustn"t forget that."
"No," said Susan, with a quick gasp in her breath; "no, I"m not forgetting a thing. I"m only talking a little. And oh, how Mrs. Cowmull did talk about you, Madeleine. She says Mr. Rath can"t put his nose out of the door alone."
"That"s dreadful," said Madeleine, trying not to color, "especially as we always come straight here."
"Well, I tell you it"s pretty hard work being good," said Susan, with a cheerful sigh; "it"s a relief to get home and take off one"s bonnet."
"And don"t you want some tea, Auntie? It"s all hot under the cozy."
"Yes, I will, you Sunshine Jane, you. I"ll never cease to be grateful for good tea again as long as I live. I"ve had five years of the other kind to help me remember."
Later, when Madeleine was gone, Susan said: "Do you know, Jane, Katie Croft is certainly going to desert that awful old woman when we get her here? Everybody says so."
"No, she isn"t, Auntie; the expected is never what happens."
"Jane, any one with your religion can"t rely on proverbs to help them out, because the whole thing puts you right outside of common-sense to begin with."
Jane was sitting looking out upon the pretty garden. "I know, Auntie; I only quoted that in reference to the Sewing Society gossip. It"s never the expected that happens in their world; it"s the expected that always happens in my world. And proverbs don"t exist in my world; they"re every one of them a human limitation."
"Well, Jane, I don"t know; some of them are very pretty, and when I"ve seen Matilda over the fence and run down to get a few sc.r.a.ps, I"ve taken considerable comfort in "No cloud without a silver lining" and "It never rains but it pours." They were a great help to me."
Jane kissed her tenderly. "Bless you, Auntie,--everything"s all right and all lovely, and Madeleine made me so happy to-day. I"m sure that she"s engaged."
"Yes, I"ve thought that, too."
"Yes, and I"m so glad for her."
"I hope he"s good enough for her."
"Oh, I"m sure that he is." Jane thought a minute. "And Madeleine gave me a big lesson, too," she added.
"What?"
"She showed me that with all my teaching and preaching, I don"t trust G.o.d half enough yet."
"Well, Jane," said Susan solemnly, "I s"pose trusting G.o.d is like being grateful for the sunshine,--human beings ain"t big enough to hold all they ought to feel."
"Perhaps we"d be nothing but trust and grat.i.tude, then," said Jane, smiling.
"They"re nice feelings to be made of," said Susan serenely, "but I must go and put my bonnet away. But, oh, heavens, when I think that to-morrow old Mrs. Croft is coming!"
"And that lots of good is coming with her; she is coming to bring happiness and happiness only."
"Yes, I know," Susan"s air was completely submissive. "I can hardly wait for her to get here. They wondered at the Sewing Society if she"d sing Captain Jinks all night often. She does sometimes, you know. But I"m sure we"ll like her. She"s a nice woman."