But I also couldn"t imagine it without Izzy.
I hated when she crashed through our moments. The urge to push him away was strong, but not as strong as my need to pull him close and never let go.
The thought of her was brushed aside, the guilt replaced with a large fill of this glorious man. His hips stroked evenly between my legs, and he continued the same, quick thrust for several seconds before releasing and groaning as quietly as he could. His head fell, and he kissed me where his mouth landed.
A deep sigh filled the room as he rested on my chest. Forcing his head up and meeting his mellow brown eyes, I whispered, "I love you too, Theo. I have loved you for so long." His arm tightened around me. "My love for you has been irreplaceable. No one has ever made me feel the way you do. I know it"s wrong," I said, "and I know we shouldn"t be sharing feelings like this, but it"s all true. I hate lying to myself. I hate fighting it. I hate being without you."
He looked me over and then licked his lips, pulling out and moving up to my side. Gripping my chin with his thumb and forefinger, he tilted my head, allowing our mouths to press. I sighed as his tongue parted my lips, wrapping around mine, before he pulled away, grazing my bottom lip. "You are my little knight," he murmured. "My rock. My savior. I love you."
Those words repeated that entire night. He cuddled with me for an hour and he joked about my anger, making me slap him playfully a couple times before leaving. He asked me to show up the next day to help him pack his things.
His landlord told him he could move in a few days early, and considering he had a ton of s.h.i.t that needed packing, I agreed. After all, he wasn"t going to be able to do it all on his own.
My anger subsided. Ecstasy raced through my veins, a feeling I developed only when he was around. I smiled like a child would on Christmas Eve"s night. With Theo, every day from that moment and forward, would be a gift.
"No thinking," he told me before leaving. He had already climbed through my window, his body supported by the thick branch of the tree. "No what if"s and no maybes. We"ll live. We"ll have fun, and we"ll hold onto our momentary happiness. We"ll feel everything, and we"ll f.u.c.king love it." He kissed me with so much pa.s.sion it made my heart swell. "I love you, Chloe."
"I love you too," I replied. And I meant it. I really meant it, and it felt amazing to say out loud.
NINETEEN.
Love is a funny thing, isn"t it?
One minute you think everything is just so simple, and the next, you"re whispering sweet lyrics to a girl you"ve always wanted as your own. Those three days were f.u.c.king insane.
I couldn"t stop thinking about her, but what was worse was how the thought of love hit me like a clashing wave, the very thing that disturbed the black sea. Why else would I have been so concerned? Or wanting to spend every waking moment with her? Why else would I have called so many times, climbed up that skimpy tree, and then snuck through her window, just to tell her exactly how I felt?
It was wrong of me to say it knowing we couldn"t take this thing too far, but I couldn"t not tell her. This was Chloe, a girl I"d known for years. She grew up around me. She trusted me, and I trusted her. I had no reason to doubt it. She was way more mature than the average female her age. She was perfection, and every part of her I desperately needed to belong to only me.
But something deep in my core twisted and knotted, proving that she wouldn"t be mine once this summer was over. She would be back at school, and she would most likely reconsider her love for me, or figure she needed someone her age. Most of all, she"d take Izzy into true consideration.
I didn"t know what would happen, but until I was to find out, I was satisfied with where we stood. I walked across the street, tugging my baseball cap down until it was snug on my forehead. I met at the driveway, but to my surprise, a white Honda was parked there.
My forehead went tight, creasing with annoyance. I hustled forward, entering my unlocked door, stalking around the corner, and spotting Trixie sitting at the bar counter, her legs crossed. She wore a short red dress with spikey red pumps to match. Her hair was pinned up, but a smirk rested on her lips.
"You know, you shouldn"t leave your door open this late, Daddy." Her voice was once a turn on, but it threw me off kilter, filling me with disgust.
"What the f.u.c.k are you doing here, Trixie?"
She climbed off her stool. "Well, I was coming to tell you that I found a job in L.A. Only a few minutes away from here. Which means I"m not going to Vegas. But"-she walked towards me, placing her palm on my chest and running it down as she circled me-"turns out someone has already moved on, huh?"
I grimaced. "What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?"
She crossed her arms when she met in front of me again. "Why are you sneaking through windows, Theo? Hmm? Didn"t you tell me once before that your daughter"s best friend lived there? You were drunk and-" She went absolutely quiet, then her eyes became broad, a cunning smile taking over. "Oh my G.o.d." She laughed out loud. "Oh my f.u.c.king G.o.d. Wait-are you serious?" She was both shocked and humored.
I ignored her, walking to my front door as she followed after me. Pulling it open, I stepped back with my hand constricted around the handle and growled, "Get the h.e.l.l out of my house. Now."
"Oh, I"m not leaving," she laughed. "No, I think I"ll stay tonight."
My nostrils flared, and I did my best to control my temper.
"I saved your daughter"s number when I went through your phone a long time ago, you know, just in case I ever had to fill her in on anything or if something were to happen to you. Hmm... maybe I"ll give her a little call now." She met up to me, holding me around the waist. I went completely still, jaw flexed. "G.o.d, I"ve missed you, Theo. Take me upstairs?" she whined.
I moved out of her grasp and shut my door, gripping her face in my hands with blunt force as her back hit the wall. I made sure it was aggressive, but not too much to hurt her... yet. Trust me, I wanted to slap that devious smile right off her face, but I didn"t hit women, no matter how much they tempted me to.
"What are you gonna do, Daddy?"
"Stop calling me that," I snapped.
"But I like it... and you loved it." She tried touching me. I jerked away.
With her face still fastened tight in my hand, I said, "Go home, Trixie. And don"t come back. We"re done. You know that."
"You left me for a girl that"s, like, thirty years younger than you." Her brows pulled together, cheeks turning just a shade redder. Pulling her face away, she stabbed a finger at my chest and said, "I dare you to try and break it off with me now. Try it, Theo, and I"ll run right across the street and bang on her window. I"ll tell her we"re still together, and I"m sure she"ll believe me because she"s a young, nave little girl who clearly doesn"t have any common sense or decency if she"s f.u.c.king around with you."
Her words gripped me like an anaconda, squeezing so hard it caused an excruciating pain in my chest. I stepped away, but my eyes never left hers. She knew she had me, and I knew she"d go to Chloe-or worse, go knocking on the door to cause a scene.
Trixie was the type of woman that thrived on drama. I don"t know why I bothered spending three years around her trifling, immature a.s.s. I knew what she was about the moment I met her, but her p.u.s.s.y hooked me. I was drunk, and she took advantage of that, riding my c.o.c.k and then hopping down, allowing me to bust my load into her mouth.
She was nowhere near as great as Chloe, but still good. And she was easy... too f.u.c.king easy.
I used to sympathize, especially when she told me her dad abandoned her to further his career as mayor of a small city in Nevada and her mom was constantly in rehab for heroin, leaving her to take care of herself, but that night, I hated her with a pa.s.sion.
I wanted to choke the life right out of her for even bothering to threaten my daughter and Chloe in any kind of way. She was f.u.c.king with my life-my love-and if this were the Theo Black from over twenty years ago-the one that dwelled during the Union-she"d already be dead.
But I wasn"t him anymore.
I had changed.
And she had me right where she wanted.
Chloe would be coming to my home tomorrow, eager to see me, and if I didn"t come up with a plan to get Trixie the f.u.c.k out of my house, I would lose my knight for good.
d.a.m.n.
I was f.u.c.king screwed
TWENTY.
Before going to Theo"s to help pack, I spent a few hours with Margie and Dad. Margie made a load of pancakes, some scrambled eggs, and even bacon. I ate two of the pancakes and some eggs, and when I was almost finished, Sterling walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.
He walked to his mom and told her good morning as he kissed her on the cheek. She smiled, asking if he wanted her to make him a plate. "Sure, Ma. That"d be great."
I figured he"d sit at the counter with Dad who was reading the newspaper, but instead, he came to the dining table, picking up the carafe of fresh coffee and pouring himself a mug. After mixing in some sugar and Bailey"s Irish creamer-the same way I loved my coffee-he sat across from me, taking a long sip.
"Morning," he said when he placed his brown mug down.
"Good morning." I finished my slice of bacon, looking him over thoroughly. There were small bags beneath his eyes, his lids droopy. "You look like you haven"t slept in days."
His brows shifted, and he fought a smile. "Long night."
"Doing what?"
He didn"t respond right away. He took another sip of coffee first. "Catching up on a lot of files. Organizing music sheets... stuff like that."
"Oh."
He nodded, and Margie walked over, making it easy for the conversation to end. I picked up my empty plate and went to the sink to wash it. Of course, I felt the same familiar gaze on my back.
G.o.d, why did he always watch me?
Turning, I kissed Dad on the cheek and then I walked through the mouth of the kitchen, purposely avoiding Sterling"s line of sight. I jogged upstairs and changed into one of my less appealing one-piece bathing suits, grabbed my goggles and a towel, and hurried back downstairs. I had to pa.s.s the kitchen to get to the deck, so I walked by with the towel around my waist. Thirty minutes had surely pa.s.sed me by. I was good for a few laps.
"Going for a swim, Margie. Let me know if you need me."
"Take your time, sweetheart." Her voice was lighter. Cheerier. She was pleased about her weird son being around. I guess I didn"t need to ruin that. Maybe he was being weird and watching me because he didn"t trust me. Perhaps I scared him when I barged in that first day, causing him to lose all trust and safety in our home. Maybe this creeper approach of his was a way to keep his guard up, protect himself.
I rolled it off my shoulders, the bottoms of my feet landing on the warm, polished wood of the deck. I dropped my towel on one of the lounge chairs and went straight into swimming. I did three quick laps. I thought I heard the slam of a door, but I ignored it, a.s.suming it was the neighbors.
When I surfaced, gripping the gravelly cement edge of the pool, I was so wrong. Standing right above me was Sterling, glowering right at me. I leaped back, water splashing with my startled reaction. "What the h.e.l.l are you doing?" I lowered my upper half in the water, as if it would conceal my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. It didn"t do much. Clear water, and all.
"Nice day. Thought I"d take a swim too."
"Um..." I paused, moving back, glad the water covered at least some of my frame. "I was just about to get out."
"No, you weren"t." His face was straight. "You normally swim eight laps, right? You have five more to go."
Okay. Yeah. He was really, really starting to creep me the f.u.c.k out. I pulled out of the water as he jumped in, hiking towards my towel and s.n.a.t.c.hing it up to cover myself as quickly as possible. "Why are you such a f.u.c.king weirdo," I muttered with my back to him and yanking off my goggles.
"I didn"t realize I was bothering you so much." He looked at me beneath furrowed brows.
"Yeah," I scoffed. "You really are."
"Well, you know what bothered me?"
I turned when his deep voice got louder. "I don"t really care."
He went on. "I wasn"t up grading papers, you know? It was just really f.u.c.king hard to sleep with people talking and doing things they shouldn"t have been doing so late at night." He dropped his arms in the water, starting a thoughtless float. "So, who was it that snuck through your window last night, Chloe?" My eyes expanded like never before. I stilled, staring down at the creep as my heart slammed in my chest. He continued. "I heard you two arguing... saw him leave about an hour later and go into the house across the street. Saw him this morning too, expecting a young boy but was definitely mistaken and surprised by who I saw. Older man?" He smirked, brow piqued. "I knew there was something different about you. Is that what you like?"
"What?" I said, my voice a gasp and a whisper. "Why were you even listening? Most people pretend things like that don"t happen." More proof he was possibly a psycho with mommy issues.
He lifted his hands in the air innocently. "Kinda hard not to when I could hear everything. Including the noises of pleasure." He shuddered a little, as if a vivid image of Theo and me crossed his mind. I wanted to shudder too, die from complete embarra.s.sment. "You"re lucky my mom slept downstairs and your dad was drugged up in his bedroom. Just saying." He sank under the water and swam to the other end. When he came back up, I started to ask him what else he heard, but he went back under in the same amount of time, purposely ignoring me. He obviously didn"t want to speak on it anymore, but it wasn"t okay with me. He... heard me. Oh, G.o.d, he heard me. I needed to know what all he heard.
I huffed as I watched him swim back and forth without much need for air, and then I rushed to the door, yanking it open and storming through the kitchen. Dad and Margie were no longer there.
I wanted to tell Margie that Sterling couldn"t stay here anymore, that he needed to be in a hotel, but she would have hated me for it. The last thing I wanted was to get on her bad side. It seemed hard to get on her bad side. She was too nice, and somewhat of a pushover, but something told me she didn"t mess around when it came to her son.
I zoomed upstairs and into my bedroom, shutting and locking my door behind me. My phone was ringing on my bed, and I sped for it, momentarily putting the thought of Sterling"s eavesdropping behind me.
Izzy"s name appeared on the screen, and surprisingly, I was relieved to see her calling. I answered without a moment of hesitation. "Hey Izzy! Busy?"
"No. Chlo! Just going with the flow."
I laughed. That was our greeting. Something we picked up when we had finally gotten cellphones at fourteen. "What"s up? How"s summer school going?"
"It f.u.c.king sucks. I need a d.a.m.n break already."
"It hasn"t even been that long!" I laughed.
"Yeah, but... ugh, who cares? This is so pointless." She groaned. "I regret partying so hard now."
"Well, that"s what happens, kiddo."
"So, how are things? How"s your dad?"
"He"s... taking it day by day. He has his days where I just want to break something, maybe punch a hole in my wall out of frustration, but he"s fine. I think the new meds are helping. He seems to have more better days than bad ones now."
"Oh. Good. That"s awesome."
"But there"s this one f.u.c.king problem..."
She gasped, ready to indulge in my drama. That was a first. She must have been really, really bored. "What?"
"My caregiver, the sweet, amazing woman I told you about?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well, her son is staying here for a few days. Honestly, he"s really hot, but Izzy, he"s a freak. He scares the s.h.i.t out of me, I swear."
"I stopped listening after you said he was hot," she teased. "Hold on, how is he a freak? What has he done to you? Do I need to bash his junk in?"
"Nah, he hasn"t touched me or anything, but since he"s been here, he"s been watching me do my laps in the pool. I"ll see the guestroom window wide open and he"ll be standing there, just watching me. Then, today, when I was doing my laps, he just popped up at the edge of the pool. It scared the s.h.i.t out of me."
"Seriously? Oh my gosh, he sounds f.u.c.king craaazzzy!" She sang the last word.
"I"m starting to think some psychological issues make him that way. But that"s not even the freaky part." I sat down on the edge of my computer chair. "He said he wanted to join me on the swim, and I told him I was just getting out. Then, he said I wasn"t, that I had five more laps to go. I had only done three laps. I normally do eight, but isn"t it weird that he knows that? He"s too observant. f.u.c.king weird."