"Hey." Andi tossed her backpack on the floor near her dresser. It was snowing again, and she dusted off the shoulders of her coat as she peeled it off and threw it on the end of her bed.
"Hey." Bailey looked up, but only briefly.
"What"re you reading?"
"Romans 12. "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.""
She closed the Bible and anch.o.r.ed her elbows on her knees. "That section."
Andi knew it well. "Why that?"
"I don"t know." Bailey sighed. "Just thinking about that Taz guy and his crazy offer. It"s weird how people think they can do anything as long as they label it "art." Anything at all."
The sentiment was something Andi"s father had said in the weeks leading up to his decision to leave the mission field for a career as a producer. He wanted to redefine art, take things way above the line from where they were. Andi wasn"t so sure. She could see merit in some of the movies her parents disliked. She was pretty sure she and Bailey wouldn"t see eye to eye on this, so she said nothing. Instead she busied herself with removing her gloves and scarf and setting them on the edge of her desk.
Bailey watched her. After this long as roommates and friends, they kept few secrets from each other. "You"re thinking about it, aren"t you?"
"About what?" Andi forced herself to look innocent.
"You know what." Bailey hugged her knees. "The film. The one with the nudity."
"Partial nudity." Andi had run out of busy work. She dropped to the edge of her bed, her shoulders a notch lower than before. "I think maybe I disagree a little."
"Disagree?"
"About the whole "art" thing." Andi had been honest about her unconventional feelings before. She couldn"t stop now if she wanted to stay close with Bailey. "Sometimes partial nudity might be valid for the sake of art, don"t you think?"
"Not at all." There was no anger in Bailey"s voice. The intensity from earlier in the day was gone, and in its place was a peace, a glow that seemed to come from deep inside her soul. But there was no hesitation, either. "Our bodies are sacred to G.o.d, the temple of the Holy Spirit. We"re supposed to treat them with respect."
The truth came straight from the Bible. Andi knew that much. She pushed her fingers through her hair and tried to find an explanation that would make sense. "The body is a beautiful thing. Maybe it"s honoring it to put the body in a more visible light." She stretched out on her side and leaned up on one elbow. "Or maybe if a film shows the terrible things that can happen to someone who makes bad decisions, and if that film requires partial nudity to get the point across, then maybe that"s honoring. Because maybe it"ll teach some teenaged girl not to make those same bad choices."
"Come on, Andi." Bailey raised one eyebrow. "You must be kidding."
That was the trouble. She wasn"t kidding. Not that she was ready to sign up as the lead in Taz"s film. She needed more information, like where the film would be shot and who would be there and whether it was truly a cla.s.s project and how much nudity and whether it was in full light or only silhouetted.
"See, that"s what I thought. You"re seriously considering it." Bailey sounded worried. "Andi, you know better than that. I could give you a hundred Bible verses that would prove making that film would be a mistake. Romans is a good place to start."
"That"s just it." Andi sat up again. "The pattern of the world interests me. I"m just being honest. I"m not saying I don"t want to be a Christian, but ... I don"t know. I want to experience life. Not avoid it."
For a long while Bailey didn"t say anything. Then she stood, crossed the room, and sat down next to Andi. They both turned so they were facing each other. "I"m not going to judge you, Andi. But let"s at least pray, okay? There"s a lot going on."
"Sure." Andi didn"t mind praying. She still liked the idea that G.o.d was there, that He cared about what she did or didn"t do. But that didn"t change her desire to experience life - in a safe manner, anyway. All of life. Maybe not by getting drunk at frat parties or by putting herself in dangerous situations. But acting in the short film of a student at Indiana University? Actually starring in it? The idea sounded more attractive with every pa.s.sing hour.
Bailey seemed to sense Andi had made up her mind, but she said nothing about it. Instead she took hold of Andi"s hands and began talking to G.o.d in a way that was familiar and comforting. She prayed about their opening night, that they would remember the words, and that the audience would be packed with people. "Let them see the meaning in the story, Lord," she added. "The message of regret for people who don"t make the most of every day they"ve been given."
Her prayer moved on then to the movie offer from Taz. "The world will always have what looks like a better offer." Her voice was kinder still, without a drop of accusation. "Help us see life through Your eyes, Father. So that we know when the world is trying to mislead us. We need Your help, or we"ll be ... Well, we"ll be like people without faith. And that would be a very sad loss, Lord. Thank You for listening. In Jesus" name, amen."
Andi appreciated the prayer and the way moments like this made her and Bailey closer. But she still wondered if Taz was serious, if he and his roommates were really going to be at the show tonight. And if they were, she wondered if they would wait for her afterward. If so, then maybe she could ask him her questions in person. At least then she"d have all the information.
They both turned their attention to getting ready. Their characters needed long, curled hair - so they stood in front of the small mirror and shared Bailey"s curling iron, pa.s.sing it back and forth and spritzing hairspray as they went. They were just putting on their coats and gloves again when Andi got a text. Her first thought was Taz. Maybe he"d gotten her number and now he was texting her, looking for her answer. But as she reached for her phone, she saw she was wrong. The text was from Cody.
HEY, ANDI. WANTED YOU TO KNOW I"LL BE THERE TONIGHT. I"M TAKING MY MOM. CAN"T WAIT TO SEE IT. BREAK A LEG!
She grinned at the phone and her heart soared. She hurried with her response.
YAY! I"M GLAD YOU"RE GOING, BUT DON"T LOOK AT ME DURING MY SONG. LOL. I MIGHT FORGET THE WORDS AND RUN DOWN TO JOIN YOU IN THE AUDIENCE.
Andi couldn"t figure out Cody Coleman. Times like this she was almost certain he had feelings for her, which would be amazing. There was no one she"d rather date than Cody. He was the hottest guy she knew, but more than that he had a wisdom, a faith that was borne of real-life experience and a genuine need for G.o.d. The kind of faith Andi wished she had.
"Who"re you texting?" Bailey wrapped her thick wool scarf around her neck and chin. The air temperature outside was already in the low teens.
"Cody." Andi tried not to feel guilty, but she did. Whenever she and Cody texted, things felt a little awkward with Bailey. "He"ll be at the show."
Bailey"s eyes flickered, proof that the news clearly registered somewhere inside her. But nothing in her expression told whether she felt grateful or upset by the fact. Bailey grabbed her bag and headed for the door. "Did he say anything else?"
"Yeah. He"s coming with his mom."
For a second, Bailey stopped and looked over her shoulder. "You know Cody"s mom?"
"No." Andi wrinkled her nose, confused by the question. "Why would I know her?"
Bailey shrugged. "Just seemed like he wouldn"t tell you that unless you knew her."
"I know she"s had a rough life. Been in prison, drugs, that sort of thing. Cody says he"s trying to build a new relationship with her."
This time there was no mistaking the hurt in Bailey"s eyes. "Great." She checked her watch. "We better go."
They decided to drive because the theater was on the other side of campus and even a five-minute walk wouldn"t be easy in the freezing-cold snow and wind. On the way to the car, and then to the theater, Bailey talked about her costume and Tim"s nervousness about playing Scrooge. She touched on how she might take a break from theater after this quarter and the struggle she was having in her harder cla.s.ses. But Cody"s name didn"t come up again.
Andi tried to a.s.sess Bailey"s response to Cody, her seeming lack of interest. All along she had told herself that Cody had feelings for Bailey, that the two of them were only kidding each other by keeping their distance and maintaining that they"d never seen each other as more than friends. Anyone around the two of them could feel the chemistry there. But watching her now, Andi wondered if she might have read Bailey wrong. Maybe Bailey really didn"t have feelings for Cody. She was still dating Tim, after all.
They ran into the theater, using their backpacks to shield their curly hair from the snow, and Andi was suddenly overcome with a rush of joy and exhilaration. Life was actually going right for her. She was truly living - living in a way that she wished her friend Rachel Baugher might"ve lived. Rachel, who died in a car accident without ever realizing her dreams. That wouldn"t be Andi. She was going to live here and now, without reservations.
She ran through the list of all that was right in her life. She was about to star in her first musical, and she was being asked to star in her first movie - and it was a movie. Short film or not. On top of all that, maybe Cody did like her after all. The possibility seemed so real she could almost see the two of them together, holding hands and laughing. Bailey wouldn"t care. At least it seemed that way.
And for the first time every dream she"d ever had seemed within reach.
She could hardly wait for the curtain to go up.
Eight.
BAILEY COULDN"T EXPLAIN THE HURT CONSUMING her heart. This was opening night, and she wanted everything about it to be a celebration. She was sharing the stage with Tim, a guy she admired and respected. In the audience would be her parents and brothers, along with some of their friends. Katy and Dayne had bought a block of tickets in the center orchestra section, so they"d be there, along with Ashley and Landon and the boys and a few of the other Baxter sisters and their families. Everyone Bailey loved.
Even Cody Coleman.
She and Andi helped each other into their costumes and then moved into the greenroom where all cast members did their own stage makeup. They sat next to each other at a long row of tables. Each spot had a stand-up mirror, and as Bailey began applying her makeup, she was struck again by the sadness consuming her. Or was it jealousy?
This is all because of Cody, she told herself. Dear G.o.d, I know he"s not interested in me as anything more than friend. Help me stop thinking about him. But the moment the quick prayer was over, his face was back in her mind again. Smiling at her, haunting her.
"You okay?" Andi dabbed white powder over her foundation. For the part of Isabelle, she needed to look paler than usual.
"Sure." She gave Andi an instant smile, almost too instant. "Just thinking about my lines."
"Oh." Andi resumed her dabbing. "Okay. You seem kinda quiet."
"Sorry. I"m like this before the first show." She smiled again at her friend. "I"m fine. Really."
Her hurt was something she would only share with G.o.d, at least until she had some alone time with her mom. Figuring out her feelings for Cody was hard enough without involving her roommate.
She took a cotton pad and lightly applied thick foundation across her cheeks. Why didn"t he at least ask about her? Cody knew she was in the show, so he could have dropped her a quick text as easily as he"d texted Andi. The occasional random text, like on Thanksgiving, wasn"t enough. Or was he really avoiding her because of Tim?
She began moving too fast, and her foundation streaked. Slow down, she told herself. So what if Cody"s here tonight. The way he"d treated her lately, he was just another guy on a campus of tens of thousands of guys. But even so, she couldn"t shake his image.
She applied another layer of makeup. She needed paler skin for the show. The Ghost of Christmas Past was supposed to have an otherworldly, ethereal look. When she finished, she stepped back. "Definitely ghostlike," she muttered.
"You look great." Andi put the finishing touches on her eye shadow. She was pale, but striking. The way Isabelle was supposed to look.
Bailey hadn"t been jealous of her friend"s part since the cast list went up, but here, knowing Cody would be in the audience ... For a brief moment she wished she could take the stage in the dress Andi was wearing instead of the velvet cloak a.s.signed to the Ghost of Christmas Past.
They were both studying themselves when she saw Tim enter the room. At least she a.s.sumed the guy was Tim. The transformation was that dramatic. He had reported to the theater half an hour earlier to meet with a professional makeup artist, and now he looked sixty years old. His hair was streaked mostly gray and his face looked haggard and wrinkled.
She turned to face him. "That"s amazing. You look totally different."
"I even talk different." A few of the other cast members stared at him as he crossed the greenroom. "They put some kind of tightening gel near my mouth so that I"ll sound like an old man."
"It"s working." Bailey took a step closer and studied his face. "Seriously, I almost didn"t recognize you."
"I hope not." He tried to laugh, but it sounded strained with his tight mouth. "This isn"t really the look I"m going for offstage."
Bailey giggled as Andi faced Tim too. "Definitely Scrooge." She put her hands on her hips and did a slow twirl. Her dress was pale blue with small white lines of satin. It clung to her upper body, while below her waist it billowed out in soft folds of blue that gracefully hit just below her ankles. With her blonde hair hanging down her back in curls, she was stunning. Any of them could"ve seen that. She grinned at Tim. "What do you think?"
Tim watched her. "Wow." His stage makeup couldn"t hide the appreciation in his eyes. "Scrooge would"ve been a fool to walk away from you."
The compliment made Andi blush even through her pale powder. "Why, thank you, Ebenezer."
Bailey pulled her red velvet cloak around her shoulders and tried not to be bothered by the exchange. She couldn"t blame Tim. His character was motivated largely by the regret he felt in walking away from the woman he"d loved as a young man. Scrooge needed an attraction to Isabelle for the audience to believe the story.
Still, the comment made her feel thick and unattractive. Her cloak came in tight around the neck, but otherwise she would remain shapeless on stage. The only thing that would make her performance stand out was the slight bit of sarcastic humor written into the script. Their director had told her to milk it for all it was worth.
But nothing about the role made her feel pretty.
Tim seemed to realize he hadn"t shown her the same attention he"d shown Andi. He came to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "I like your hair that way, curled." He touched his fingers to the side of her face. "You"re beautiful, Bailey. A vision."
"In a red velvet cloak?" She made a silly face. "That"s okay. Thanks about my hair though. I like it this way too."
He gave her a side hug just as the director bounded into the room. "Okay, people. We"ve got a full house." He chuckled. "Oh, and Dayne Matthews is in the fourth row. This will be a first for my career directing plays at Indiana U." He made eye contact with Tim and a handful of the other leads. "Let"s give it our best tonight."
They circled up and he gave them a few reminders. "All right." He sounded as nervous as any of them. "Everyone take their places."
Only Tim and the kid playing Bob Cratchet were needed for the first scene, but before he walked onto the stage, Tim looked into her eyes. "All day I kept thinking about you, how this was like CKT and ... I guess just how special it is that you"re here." He kept his voice to a whisper. "That we"re in this together."
"I guess I hadn"t thought about that." For the first time since she"d met Andi for lunch, Bailey felt her mood lighten. She"d been consumed with Andi and the shady film offer, confused by how a girl raised by missionary parents could actually consider starring in a movie with nudity. Then there"d been the lack of texts from Cody. And the way her costume hung like heavy drapes.
But now, with Tim gazing at her - even though his eyes sagged with artificial wrinkles - she suddenly felt like a princess. A montage of memories from a dozen CKT shows played in her mind. From days when she had dreamed of dating Tim Reed. And now here she was, Tim"s girlfriend, the two of them about to take the stage at Indiana University for the first time. "You"ll be amazing ... just like always."
"You too." He looked like he wanted to kiss her, but it wasn"t the time or place. Instead he gave her hand a quick squeeze and walked onstage. The orchestra was silent, ready for the cue from the conductor. He gave it and the music began in a beautiful rush of strings and horns, and like that, the air was filled with Christmas.
The opening scene was flawless. Tim was so believable that Bailey and the others couldn"t help but watch from the wings. Bailey had to keep reminding herself that the guy in the counting shop on stage was her nineteen-year-old boyfriend and not the crotchety mean old man he pretended to be. He was that convincing. Tim seemed to pick up steam, getting better still as he was warned by his dead business partner that he would be visited by three additional ghosts.
Bailey and Andi stood in the wings and squeezed hands. "You"ll be great," Bailey whispered.
"I think I"m sick." Andi"s eyes were wide.
"You"re not." Bailey heard her cue but suddenly all she could think about was Cody - where he was sitting and what he was thinking. Whether she would be able to see him from the stage. She pushed his image from her mind. "Gotta go."
She adjusted her cloak and walked on stage with a sort of floating, waltz-like step. Tim was on his knees looking under the bed for any sign of a ghost, grumbling about the warning being a bunch of nonsense. Before he could stand, Bailey tapped him on the shoulder.
His dramatic reaction received a loud bit of laughter from the audience. Bailey remained stoic, straight faced. She had to work to keep herself from listening for Cody"s voice.
"Who are you?" Tim scowled at her, stood, and dusted himself off.
Bailey lifted her chin, proper and poised. "The ghost whose presence was foretold to you."
Their exchange was brief and well rehea.r.s.ed. They"d worked on stage together too long to be anything but professional in a moment like this. She led Tim across the stage to where he could watch a scene from his childhood. After that, she ushered in another moment from Scrooge"s past - the dance at Fezziweg"s where Scrooge first falls in love with Isabelle. Andi entered the stage and there was almost a collective gasp at the vision she made. Truly she was stunning.
Andi danced with young Scrooge, and together they sang a perfect duet. Whatever anxiety Andi had felt about this scene, she was in her element now.
After watching the dance come to an end, Tim reached out toward Isabelle, who of course could not see him. Tim"s expression, the longing in his body language, told everyone in the theater he wanted nothing more than a chance to go back in time, back to that moment with Isabelle. Just once more.
The way I feel about Cody, Bailey thought. Again she forced herself back into the scene. But distraction came easily. Bailey"s part required her only to stand alongside Tim and watch the past play out. She had only a handful of words left before the end of her scene. Was Cody mesmerized by Andi the way the rest of the audience must be? She blinked. Focus, Bailey ... G.o.d, please help me focus.
Tim looked ready to cry as he watched young Scrooge bend on one knee, pull out an engagement ring, and hand it up to a thrilled Isabelle. At the same time, Tim slowly took hold of that same ring, now on a chain around his neck.
"Come." Bailey took his hand and led him to yet another spot on the stage. This time the scene was far sadder. The saddest in the entire play. Young Scrooge was in the counting house as Andi walked up, dressed the same but with a bonnet and a shawl over her shoulders.
"I"m leaving, Ebenezer." She delivered her lines like a pro.
For the first few seconds, young Scrooge barely looked up, still counting. But when Andi insisted that where she was going he would not see her anymore, he stopped. "Why? You were going to marry me."
Tim took a step closer to the action, desperate to stop the younger version of himself. "Don"t let her leave ... you fool!"
But Andi tossed the engagement ring onto his counting scale, and with a final few words, she left. Again Bailey caught a glimpse of Tim as he reached out, longing for a way back to yesterday. Anyone would"ve believed he"d been in love with Andi, and that he"d never gotten over her.