The scene ended with another song - a duet between the two Scrooges, one where Andi returned to the stage in a lyrical dance intended to represent her moving farther from his life. Again she was graceful, a vision as she moved across the stage.
Bailey watched her, but she was thinking about Cody again. He"s probably falling in love with her right now, she told herself. What guy wouldn"t be? Her red cloak felt heavier, thicker than before. She must"ve looked like a set piece compared to Andi. A coat rack, maybe.
Tim glanced back at her, as if she could do something to undo the pa.s.sing of time. Then he turned to Andi once more and launched into his final verse of the song. As it ended, as Andi danced offstage, Tim turned, anguished, to Bailey and took her hand. "Spirit, remove me from this place. I can bear it no more." The handhold was a plea, an urging from Scrooge, but Tim held her fingers a little longer than they"d rehea.r.s.ed. His eyes locked onto hers, and though no one from the audience - not even the director - could"ve told he was breaking character in any way, he did. For a flicker in time, the longing in his eyes was as intense as it had been when he stared at Isabelle. Only this was real, Bailey had no doubt. And it was aimed at her.
The incident was over almost as soon as it began, but it left Bailey breathless. She wanted to smile, but she couldn"t, because the Ghost of Christmas Past certainly did not smile. But inside she was giddy. Tim might as well have stopped the action and announced to all the room that Andi couldn"t turn his head. Not when he was in love with Bailey.
She felt herself stand a little taller as the scene wound down and as she delivered her final lines - lines that warned Scrooge to love today, while time still allowed. "There is never enough time to say or do the things you want in this life, never enough time to love the way you want to love," she told him. "We are only here for a little while, Scrooge, and then we are gone."
With that, she took the same slow, otherworldly steps off the stage, ignoring Tim"s pleas that she stay with him, that she allow him to live a little longer in the past. As soon as she stepped into the wings, she fell against the wall and remembered the moment with Tim again. Suddenly her own lines came back to her. "Never enough time to love the way you want to love..." So why was she wasting her time thinking about Cody? She was dating an amazing guy, one she"d looked up to all her life. He had none of Cody"s crazy past. He"d never been drunk or slept with a girl, and on top of all that he cared enough to know exactly how she felt in the midst of their scene.
Whatever her feelings for Cody, however she"d been frustrated by him, none of that mattered. Tim was a great guy, and he"d proved that out there on the stage, not caring if anyone caught what he was doing or not. Her heart felt lighter than it had all day.
She removed her red cloak and listened as Tim and the Ghost of Christmas Present sang one of Bailey"s favorite songs from the show. "I like life ... life likes me ... life and I fairly fully agree ..."
Bailey couldn"t agree more. She worried about Andi"s choices, and yes, if Cody fell for her there would be times when Bailey would hurt. But she had Tim, and in light of that sweet moment on stage, she couldn"t be happier.
Tim was wonderful in the final scene of the first act, and Bailey watched his every move, silently cheering for him. As the curtain fell at the beginning of intermission, Bailey waited for him in the shadows.
He started to pa.s.s by, the area too dark to make out shapes or people. "Tim," she whispered as loud as she could without being heard on the other side of the curtain.
"Bailey?" He was out of breath, adrenaline and exhilaration no doubt racing through his veins.
"Here." She reached out and touched his arm. "You were amazing."
"You too."
They couldn"t hang out in the wings for long. The director would expect them to report to the greenroom to hear his notes on the first act and to receive any last-minute direction for the second half of the show. But they had a few minutes at least.
"I mean, I kept believing you were really Scrooge."
He came nearer, facing her. Even this close and as their eyes adjusted to the darkness, he looked like an old man.
"I love this. I could perform in New York, you know?"
"You could."
"You too. Seriously, Bailey, you should"ve been Isabelle. You"re so good."
She should"ve been Isabelle? Bailey opened her mouth to thank him, to tell him that was the exact thing she needed to hear, but the words got jumbled on the way up from her heart. Instead she slipped her arms around his neck and hugged him. Finally, when she was sure of her voice, she pulled back and searched his eyes. "Thank you."
Here was further proof that something was building between them, something that hadn"t been there before. Tim didn"t ask what Bailey was thanking him for. He didn"t have to. Instead his voice softened. "I wanted you to know that my character might desire Isabelle -" He brushed his cheek against hers. "But I want you, Bailey. Only you."
Her heart responded by pounding in her chest, and she wanted more than anything to kiss him. A quick kiss wouldn"t have violated any university theater rule, but again this wasn"t the time. So she eased from his arms and grinned at him. "Come on. We need to get back."
Bailey played a townsperson in the second act, and everyone in the cast gave their all as the show ran down. In the final scene, when Tim sang about being ready to begin again, Bailey wanted to join him. If ever she"d been ready to truly move on it was here, tonight. Not until she was back on stage and staring at a standing ovation did she realize perhaps the most important thing about the night - something that hadn"t happened since the moment Tim looked at her that way in the middle of their scene.
She hadn"t thought about Cody once.
Nine.
FROM HIS PLACE IN THE BACK of the theater, Cody watched the actors take the stage for their curtain call. He could"ve been wrong, but he sensed a change in Bailey, something he couldn"t pinpoint or put into words. Up until now, on the rare times when he and Bailey shared a few words or a conversation, he sensed she still had feelings for him.
Just not enough feelings to walk away from Tim Reed.
But now? There seemed to be some new and stronger chemistry between Bailey and Tim, and as the applause began to die down and the houselights came up, Cody watched Tim sling his arm around Bailey"s shoulders, both of them laughing as they walked offstage with the cast.
He looked away. At the other side of the theater near the front were Bailey"s parents and brothers, people who just a year or so ago had been his family. He thought about crossing the theater to say h.e.l.lo, but they would be looking for Tim now. Not him.
"I see you." His mother leaned in close. She was still clapping, but she made sure he could hear her voice over the noise of the audience.
Cody turned to her, his expression blank. "See what?"
"How you look at her."
"Andi?" Cody shifted and watched Andi saunter toward the edge of the stage. She was still waving at the crowd. He had told his mom that he and Andi were becoming better friends and that she"d asked him to her opening night. He nodded as his eyes found his mom"s again. "She was beautiful. Perfect."
His mother had been absent for so much of his life, trapped by her demons and addictions. She had missed much, but not anymore. These days she was going to church with a few friends from her alcohol recovery cla.s.s, and she"d been sober longer than he could ever remember. They were actually building a relationship for the first time.
She looked at him and raised a brow. "Not Andi." She held up her copy of the Scrooge program and pointed to a photo just inside the front cover. "Bailey Flanigan. You couldn"t take your eyes off her."
With everything in him, Cody wanted her to be wrong. Bailey wasn"t interested. She was dating Tim, and that was that. Especially tonight, when something very special seemed to linger between the two of them. Andi was striking, gorgeous as Isabelle. In his high school days, back when he was a jerk to just about every girl he came across, Cody wouldn"t have had the ability to see past Andi Ellison.
His mom was still looking at him, and he felt something crack in his resistance. Finally he drew a long breath and admitted just enough. "I"ve cared about her longer." The crowd was filing out, moving past them, and Cody was in a hurry to talk about the play or where they were going afterwards for coffee. Anything else. Bailey and he were a thing of the past for lots of reasons. He wasn"t comfortable having his mom look straight into his heart, not when he hadn"t quite given her viewing privileges.
But they were at the end of their row, and before they could file out, she touched his arm and waited until he looked at her again. "It"s okay, Cody. I"ve known for a long time."
"Known what?" He tried to sound neutral rather than frustrated.
Her voice grew nostalgic. "How you feel about that girl. How you"ve always felt."
"Mom." He forced an exhale. "No offense, but you weren"t around when Bailey and I were friends. And that"s all we were. We"ve never been anything more."
"I wasn"t around much." Her eyes were heavy with the pain from years lost. "But when I got out, when I came home ... I saw the way you looked when you talked about her. I knew then." She had to look up to him, but she put her hand on his cheek. "And I know now."
"Mom." He didn"t want to talk about Bailey. Not with his mom, anyway. He was trying to build something new with her, which meant he didn"t want to look backward. Not regarding his mom, and certainly not regarding Bailey. When it came to the ins and outs of his heart, she was hardly a qualified expert. He smiled at her. "Can we talk about something else?"
"It"s just -" She let her hand fall back to her side. Her face grew concerned, almost worried. "Cody ... I like the Flanigan family, but ... I don"t want you to get hurt. You"ve been hurt enough."
He was suddenly aware of his prosthetic lower leg and his lonely afternoons and a lifetime of not knowing his mother - and, mixed together, he hated how it made him feel. "Mom, please." He was not a victim. Not because of his war injury or his past, or anything Bailey might mean to him. "I"m not hurt. I"m fine."
She ceded with a slight nod, and her eyes shifted to the sticky floor between them. "I"m sorry. I just ... I worry about you."
"Don"t. I can take care of myself." He couldn"t get angry with her. It was too late for that. He put his arm around her shoulders and gradually walked her down the aisle toward the door. She was trying, something he"d prayed for. His frustration gave way to kindness, confidence. In this, their new relationship, he was the leader, the stronger one. He had almost forgotten that. "So ... what"d you think of the show?"
"Good." Her smile was tentative, but she understood. The conversation about Bailey was over. "Very good, really. The guy playing Scrooge was amazing."
Tim Reed. Cody narrowed his eyes. "He"s been acting for awhile. Just a freshman too."
"Really?" His mom seemed ready to move on, too, glad that Cody wasn"t upset anymore. She put her arm around his waist and gave him a hug. "The show put me in a Christmas mood." She looked up at him. "I think we should put lights up this year. What do you think?"
The conversation felt easy again, the way Cody liked it. They were still talking about decorating for the holidays when they walked into the far end of the lobby. The crowd was spread throughout the s.p.a.ce, and the cast mingled among them, everyone laughing and talking and taking pictures. His mom gave him a gentle elbow in the ribs. "There"s your friend. She played Isabelle. What"s her name?"
"Andi." He followed his mother"s gaze, and there she was, looking as beautiful as she had on stage. "Andi Ellison." Cody watched her, the way she tilted her head and tossed her hair. She was talking to a couple of guys and clearly enjoying the attention. Andi knew she was beautiful. She would always know it.
"I like that girl." Her mom took a few steps. "I"ll be in the restroom." She dropped her voice, as if anyone would hear her with the commotion around them. "Go talk to her. I saw her look over here."
"Thanks, Mom." He kept his tone light. When she was gone, he leaned against the far wall and slid his hands into his jean pockets. He wished he had feelings for Andi, wanted to be interested in her. His mom was right. Andi was into him. Cody had known that for a long time. Especially after she"d made a play for him that night when he"d helped her home after she got drunk at the frat party. But there were ten quick reasons why he wasn"t interested. The biggest: Bailey Flanigan. He could hear her laugh from across the room. He sighed, and it felt like it came from the bas.e.m.e.nt of his soul.
Cody studied the architecture along the windows and doorways. He read the posters that lined the wall leading into the theater. Anything so he wouldn"t give in to his desire to find Bailey and at least stare into her eyes, tell her she"d done a great job. Don"t look for her, he told himself. She"s with Tim. She"ll be with him now.
A minute pa.s.sed before he lost the battle. Without being too obvious, he made a casual sweep of the room and saw her in the middle of a large group - her parents and brothers, three of the Baxter sisters and their families. She had her red cape slung over one arm, and even from this far away the sight of her took his breath.
Cody shifted a few inches for a better look, and Tim came into view. From the opposite end of the long room, he looked like an old man, still in costume like the rest of the cast.
His eyes easily found their way back to Bailey. Her long, light brown hair falling around her shoulders in layers of curls, her fine features and infectious laugh. How had he let her slip away? Their story was almost like the one that had played out on the stage. A story of lost chances and useless regret. If he could will it, he wouldn"t be standing here alone, watching her live her life with some other guy. He would be back in her entryway, Fourth of July, holding her and telling her how much he"d missed her while he was gone. G.o.d could"ve taken him home after his capture, and he would"ve been okay with it except for one thing.
The memory and hope of Bailey Flanigan.
But instead of telling her exactly how he felt, instead of admitting he was in love with her, he"d done the opposite. He"d praised her for dating someone more her type, and he"d a.s.sured her that he wanted only to be her friend. For her sake. Because she deserved better.
But now ... now he wasn"t the drunk guy who played with girls" hearts. He was a different person, a guy who loved G.o.d and wanted a future based on faith and family. He was the right kind of guy for her now. And no one would ever love her more.
Cody stood a little straighter and filled his lungs with a determined breath. All his life he"d been a fighter. He"d sc.r.a.pped and scrounged to survive as a latchkey grade school kid when his mother"s drinking left him without supervision, and he"d fought hard to find his place with the Flanigans - his only way of getting through high school. No one had worked harder on the football field, and when he was a prisoner of war, he had never, not once, given up.
So why had he given up so easily on Bailey?
The muscles in his jaw tightened, and he forced himself to look away. Maybe he was supposed to take to heart the message of the musical. It was almost the New Year, so this could be the time in his life when he stopped hiding in the shadows and actually tried a different tactic. Like talking to her and texting her, being the friend he"d promised to be. She wasn"t married. Unless she asked him to stay away, he could certainly make himself more of a presence in her life.
The change of heart coming over him was so strong, he didn"t see Andi until she was standing directly in front of him. She giggled and ran her hand along his forearm. "Hey ... you look like you"re in another world."
He was. "Oh, hey, sorry. I didn"t see you." He felt his guard go up. "You did great."
"Thanks." She crossed her arms in front of her and shivered a little. "I was scared to death. You have no idea."
"We couldn"t tell."
Andi hesitated. "Oh ... your mom!" She glanced around. "Where is she?"
"Restroom. She"ll be right back." Cody peered in the direction his mom had walked off in, and for the first time he realized she was taking a long time. He turned back to Andi. "How many shows in the run?"
"All this weekend - five shows - and then three midweek and another five next weekend. Thirteen altogether."
"That"s a lot." He didn"t want a long conversation with Andi. She was a nice girl, but he didn"t want to lead her on. He pressed his back against the wall behind him again. "You and Bailey weren"t at Cru this week." Cru was the Campus Crusade meeting each Thursday on campus. At the beginning of the semester they"d all gone together.
"Dress rehearsals." Andi wrinkled her nose in a cute girly sort of way. "This week we have a show, and then Christmas break. I guess we"ll start up again in January."
"I guess." He looked down the hallway again for his mom. Maybe he should go after her, in case she"d fallen or something. He gave Andi a distracted glance. "You ready for finals?"
"Pretty much." She gasped. "I almost forgot to tell you. This guy in my science cla.s.s is a film student. He"s making an independent movie and he wants me to star in it! I was just talking to him! Isn"t that great?"
"Yeah, great." Cody didn"t want to be rude, but he was finished here. "Hey, listen. I gotta go find my mom." He hugged her. "Seriously. You were great tonight."
"Thanks." She seemed fl.u.s.tered, a little confused by his early exit. "I sorta thought maybe we could go out for coffee, you and your mom and me. I guess I could hang out with the film guy." She gave a disappointed shrug. "He asked, but ... I don"t know. I wanted to hang out with you."
"Oh." He hesitated. She was sincere and kind, and a girl whose shaky faith could use all the right people surrounding her. What would it hurt if they included her for coffee? Bailey was obviously busy tonight. "Okay, sure. Let me go find my mom."
He held back from taking another look at Bailey as he walked the opposite direction down a hall toward the bathrooms. He wasn"t sure whether to be worried about his mom or not. He"d lost track of time watching Bailey, so he wasn"t sure how long she"d been gone. A few minutes? Five ... ten? He picked up his pace.
Just as he was about to turn the corner, she stepped into view, fiddling with something in her purse. She stopped short when she saw him. "Cody. What are you doing?"
"Looking for you." He dropped his gaze from her eyes down to her purse and back up again. Why was she acting guilty? Like she was hiding something? "What took so long?"
"I got a phone call." She slipped her purse up onto her shoulder and smoothed her coat, more confident than a few seconds ago. "Someone from my Bible study."
Cody hesitated. He"d seen his mother crash hard too many times to count, seen her spiral into the evil, clutching hands of her addiction and each time fall lower than the last. He studied her eyes and searched for a hint of deceit, for even the beginnings of the telltale signs - the shaking hands and slightly wild-eyed look. But there was nothing, no reason to doubt her. He breathed out. "Okay." He turned and fell in beside her. He wanted to believe her with everything in him. This was their time, their chance to be mother and son, like they"d never been before. He allowed his nerves to settle and again found a smile. "I ran into Andi. I told her she could join us for coffee."
"That"s wonderful." She grinned at him, maybe a little too big. Maybe not. "Introduce me!"
They reached the foyer again and Andi was still there where he"d left her, talking to a few of her fellow cast mates. He couldn"t tell if Bailey was still in the group at the far end of the room or not.
His mom leaned in as they drew nearer to Andi. "She"s so pretty."
"Yes, Mom." Cody chuckled. He wasn"t used to spending time with his mother, and her persistent efforts to set him up were almost comical. As if in these past few months she wanted badly - almost desperately - to become his friend and confidante.
They reached Andi, and Cody put his hand on her arm. "Mom, meet my friend Andi."
"Andi! Why you"re absolutely adorable!" His mom still didn"t have strong social graces. She was nervous, having spent so many years behind bars of one kind or another, and sometimes she made up for it by being a little overly dramatic, a little over the top. This was one of those times.
"Mrs. Coleman, ma"am." Andi nodded. "Nice to meet you."
"Aren"t you sweet." She laughed awkwardly. "Call me Ca.s.sie. That"s what my friends call me." She gave Andi an impulsive hug. "You"re a perfect Isabelle."
"Thank you, ma"am." Andi"s eyes danced. Awkward or not, she was eating up the attention.
Cody was ready to leave. Across the room, he noticed Bailey separate herself from the group and jog lightly toward them. He willed her to stay away, because already Bailey suspected he had feelings for Andi. And with his mom certain Bailey was going to break his heart, everything about the coming moment screamed disaster.
His mom didn"t notice Bailey. She was still gushing over Andi in a way that was borderline embarra.s.sing. "I"m sure Cody told you we thought you were brilliant tonight, just brilliant. Brilliant."
She was at the last "brilliant" when Bailey reached them. Bailey seemed to register that this might be a special moment and that maybe she shouldn"t interrupt. Her last few steps were slower, tentative. "Hi. Sorry ... I don"t want to interrupt." She nodded at Cody and his mom and finally turned her attention to Andi. She was already taking a step back, retreating. "We"re getting pizza. Wanna come?"
"Um ..." Andi smiled at Cody. "I"m having coffee with Cody and his mom."