Love is the reason for many a wonderful and horrible thing.
Love was the reason I lived, there in the Deep, in the warm embrace of the ocean where Mother Earth"s loins spread and gave birth to the world. Her soul was my soul.
Love is the reason she came to me in the darkness, that brave sea maiden. I remember the taste of her bravery, the euphoric sweetness of her fear. It came to me on wisps of current past the scattered glows of the predators.
The other predators.
Her chest contracted and I felt the sound waves cross the water, heard them with an organ so long unused I had thought it dead.
Help me, she said. I love him.
The white stalks of the bloodworms curled about her tail. We had a common purpose, the worms and I. We were both barnacles seeking the same fix, clinging desperately to the soul of the world. Their crimson tips brushed her stomach, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. They could feel it in her, feel her soul in the blood that coursed through her veins. I felt it too. I yearned for it. A quiet memory waved in the tide.
Patience.
My answer was slow, deliberate. How much do you love him, little anemone?
More than life itself, she answered.
She had said the words.
I had not asked her to bring the memories, the pain. There is no time in the Deep, only darkness. I could but guess at how much had pa.s.sed since those words had been uttered this far down. Until that moment, I had never been sure if the magic would come to me. Those words were the catalyst, the spark that lit the flame.
Flame. Another ancient memory.
The empty vessel that was my body emptied even further. I held my hands out to her breast, and there was light.
I resisted the urge to shut my inner eyelids to it and reveled in the light"s painful beauty. It shone beneath her flawless skin like a small sun, bringing me colors...perceptions I had never dared hope to experience again. Slivers of illumination escaped through her gills and glittered down the abalone-l.u.s.tered scales of her fins. Her hair blossomed in a golden cloud around her perfect face. And her eyes...her eyes were the blue of a sky I had not seen for a very, very long time.
She tilted her head back in surrender and the ball of light floated out of her and into my fingers, thin, white and red-tipped, much as the worms themselves. I cupped her brilliant soul in my palms and felt its power gush through me. So long. So long I had waited for this escape. I had stopped wondering what answer I would give if I should ever hear the words again, ever summon the magic. When the vessel was full, when my dead heart beat again, would I remember? Would I feel remorse? Would I have the strength of will to save her, to turn her away?
You will see him, I told her.
She smiled at me over the pure flame of her soul.
I was a coward.
I pressed her soul into my breast. The moment the light filled me I became her. I could see my body through her eyes-translucent white skin marred by jagged gills, blood red hair tossed up by the smoky vents and tangling about the worms, black eyes wide, lips parted in ecstasy.
I could see him in the back of her mind, the object of her affection. He was tall and angular, with sealskin hair. There had been a storm and a wreck, and she had saved him. She had dragged him onto a beach and fallen in love with him as she waited for him to open his eyes. She had run her fingers through his hair, touched his face, traced the lines of the crest upon his clothes. He was handsome and different and beautiful. When he awoke, he took her hand in his and smiled with all his heart. And when he kissed her, she knew she would never be able to live a life without him in it.
In that small moment, as the glow of her soul dimmed into me, she told herself it was worth it.
Once the transformation began, the pain pushed all other thoughts out of her head. Water left her as suddenly as her soul had left her, her gills closing up after it. The pressure that filled her chest made her eyes want to pop out. She clamped her mouth shut, instinct telling her that she could no longer breathe her native water. She beat furiously with her tail, fleeing for the surface.
Halfway there, the other pain began. It started at the ends of her fin and spread upwards, like bathing in an oyster garden. The sharpness bit into her, skinning her, slicing her to her very core. Paralyzed, she let her momentum and the pressure in her chest pull her closer to the sky. Part of her hoped she could trust the magic enough to get her there. Part of her didn"t care. It wanted to die, and knew it could not.
That price had already been paid.
Her head burst above the waves and she opened her mouth, letting the rest of the water inside her escape. Her first full breath of the insubstantial air was like a lungful of jellyfish. She coughed, her upper half now as much in agony as her lower half, not wanting to take that next breath and knowing that she had to.
She lay there on the undulating bed that was once her home and let it heal her. She stared up at the sky until it didn"t hurt so much to breathe, until her eyes adjusted, until rough hands plucked her out of the sea.
She was dragged across the deck of a ship much like the one from which she had rescued her lover, right before it had been crushed between the rocks and the sea. The man who had pulled her up clasped her tightly to him. He was covered in hair, more hair than she had ever seen in her life, and in the strangest places. It did not reach the top of his head, but spread down his face and neck and onto his chest. Perhaps it liked this upper world as little as she did and sought a safer, darker haven beneath his clothes. She reached out a hand to touch it, and he spoke to her. The sounds were too high, too light, too short, too loud. She did not understand them. His breath smelled of sardines. She ran a finger through the hair on his face, and he dropped her.
Misery shot through her and she collapsed on the deck. Her hair spilled around her...and her legs. She stared at her new skin. It looked so calm and innocent, but every nerve screamed beneath it. Another man stood before her now, wearing more clothes than the hairy man and shiny things on his ears and around his neck. His bellow was deeper than the first man"s but still as coa.r.s.e and profane, and still foreign to her. He crouched down before her and brushed her hair back from her face. He cooed at her. She touched the bright thing around his neck that twinkled the sun at her, and he grinned. His teeth were flat. She wasn"t threatened. Braver now, she pulled at the necklace. He let her slide it over his head and put it around her own neck.
He picked her up and carried her to a place that hid her from the sky and set her somewhere softer than the deck. She liked this place and this man who now worshipped her. He had given her a gift, and now he would take care of her. If only there was a way she could tell him why she was there. She was sure he would help her. Perhaps he could see into her heart and just know.
The man removed his shirt, and she relaxed even more. He wanted to put her at ease. By looking like her, he would make her feel like she belonged. He took off the rest of his clothes and came up beside her. He patted her head, ran his hands down her hair. He touched her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, her belly and her legs. Still sensitive, she brushed his hand away. He put it back. She tried to push it away again, but he was stronger. She frowned. He smiled all those flat teeth at her once more. She wondered if she might have been mistaken. He moaned, parted her knees and entered her.
The misery she had felt before was nothing compared to this anguish. She inhaled the excruciating air and screamed a hoa.r.s.e cry. She clawed at him, pushed at his weight on top of her, but she could not move him. Agony ripped her body apart again. A tingling sensation washed over her and the light in her eyes began to dim. Somewhere in that darkness, through the pain, she could feel his heartbeat. The emptiness in her cried out. He had something she needed.
She reached up, pulled him to her, and sunk her pointed teeth deep into the skin of his neck. She drank him down, consuming his soul, filling the barren places inside her. He collapsed on top of her and still she drank, until there was nothing left.
The door burst open and the hairy man entered. He pulled the naked man off of her. He could tell what the man had done from the blood between her legs. He could tell what she had done from the blood she now licked from her lips.
"Siren," he whispered.
She gasped. In her brain there was an avalanche.
Words flooded her, images and thoughts, smells and sounds. Knowledge. She cried out again and slapped her palms to her head. She had taken the man"s soul, and his life right along with it. She watched as the shafts of her golden hair turned deep red, filled with the captain"s blood.
The first mate had named her. He knew what she was. She was death, the shark, the thing to be afraid of. She lured men to their graves with her beauty.
In one swift motion he pulled the knife from his belt. She did not flinch as he approached her. There was nothing left to fear.
The knife swept down and split the captain"s throat open, hiding the teethmarks in the cut. He stared deep into her eyes as he pulled a large ruby ring off the dead man"s finger and put it on his own. The knife, streaked with what little crimson was left in the captain"s body, he brandished at the crowd of men gathered at the door.
"Eddie Lawless, what"s goin" on?" the man in front asked. The men behind him whispered low, words like "magic" and "evil" and "witch" catching in her ears.
"It"s Lawson, Cooky," the hairy man responded. "Cap"n Lawson. An" don"t ye forget it."
"Yessir," the men mumbled. "Yessir, Cap"n."
"Leave me," Lawson ordered.
"But sir, what about Cap"n-"
"I am the cap"n," he told them. "Ye can collect the carca.s.s later. Leave me now." He slammed the door in their faces.
The mattress shifted under his weight as he sat down across from her. She did not want to look at him, concentrating instead on the ends of her new hair and the line across the dead man"s throat.
Lawson shoved the body onto the floor. "Siren."
She looked up.
"So. Ye can understand me then."
She nodded once.
"Good." He pulled the sheet down and wiped his knife blade with it. "Understand this. I know what ye are, what ye need and what ye do. If ye do exactly as I tell ye, I won"t kill ye."
If she had known how to laugh, she would have. It was unsettling. She knew what laughter was, what caused it and why someone did it, but she didn"t have the slightest idea of how to make her body perform such a feat. It was the same with the words she could understand them, but she couldn"t get her tongue around them and speak back. She would have laughed at the thought of this man killing her, for she would have welcomed death. But there was one task she meant to accomplish before that happened. She had to find her lover.
She nodded her head once more.
"Excellent." He left the bed and went to open a trunk on the other side of the room. He rummaged through it for a moment, and then tossed a bundle of burgundy material into her lap. She stared at it, marveling in the slight difference between it and the color of her hair. She reached out and stroked its softness, drawing patterns on it with her finger.
His chuckle brought her out of her state. "Ye "ave no idea what to do with it, do ye?" He took her by the hand and gently eased her off the bed. "Come on, stand up."
She placed one foot flat on the floor, then the other. Then she pushed up with all her might, locking her knees and propelling herself forward into him.
He caught her before she hit the floor. "Whoa. Easy. Ye "ave to get yer sea legs." He helped her balance enough to stay upright. Surprisingly her feet held her without too much trouble.
"Now," he said, grabbing the bundle off the bed, "ye"re lucky I "ave a daughter an" I"m used to doin" this." He spun her around so that she faced the wall. "Six years ago I only knew "ow to undress a woman." He pulled her hands up above her head and eased the material down around her. He moved her hair to one side so he could b.u.t.ton up the back.
"There." He turned her back around. "It"s a bit large an" it"ll probably be a tad warm. But it"ll keep the sun off ye, and the...my...men away from temptation." He looked her up and down. "Not that they"ll need much warnin", mind. But ye get enough rum into a man...well...stranger things "ave "appened."
He looked down at the former captain"s body. "Ye won"t need to...eat...again for a while then?"
She shook her head.
"Right. Best if ye only do it when I tell ye." He shoved the knife back into his belt.
Her eyes widened.
"Oh, don"t worry," he chuckled. "Ye"re aboard a pirate ship, darlin". If there"s one thing we"ve always got more than our share of, it"s blood."
He wasn"t wrong.
They encountered a ship three days later. There were blasts from cannons spread amidst the cries of men. She lost her footing when the ship lurched sideways, hooks pulling the losing ship close enough so that men might cross over. She peeked through the windows at the smoke of the guns, swords clashing as the blood flew.
Lawson came back to her room when the battle had died down. He opened the door and threw a man down at her feet. His clothes were ripped and his face was a b.l.o.o.d.y mess. Gray eyes looked up at her from the red-stained face and filled with terror.
"No...oh, G.o.d, no" were the last words he spoke.
His fear was intoxicating.
She closed her eyes when she was finished and let the magic wash over her. It wasn"t just the blood she craved; it was everything. She needed the senses and the feelings, the emotions and the pain, the good and the bad. She needed his life, his soul.
Rejuvenated, she tossed her hair back and peered up at Lawson. He cupped her cheek and wiped a spot of blood away from the corner of her mouth. "There"s my girl." He threw open the door and kicked the man"s body over the threshold. "There"s yer cap"n, men," he bellowed. "Seems "e got into a spot of trouble. Any of ye want the same trouble, just cross me."
Crews were mixed and booty was swapped, and then they were off in search of the next victim.
The second ship they burned. It was spectacular. She ran to the railing and held her hand out to the beautiful, live thing that danced on the sea as it consumed sails and timbers and bodies alike. She had seen candles and lamps, but this was a beast, wild and hot and bright as the sun. Hands grabbed at her clothes to keep her from falling over the rail, and they pinned her down when the magazine finally exploded, taking the rest of that ship"s crew with it.
On the third one, she found him.
The battle this time was a long one, and by the time Lawson brought her the captain of the other ship, he was half dead. She drank him anyway. And somewhere in the memories of this man was the someone she had been looking for.
She gasped when his face came to her. She drew back, her teeth disengaging from her meal, blood running down her chin and staining her dress. This man knew her lover. Not well, but he knew him. She tried to make sense of the jumble of images that flowed through her, but nothing connected. She searched his body for a sign, a hint, something. She found it on the smallest ring he wore, a gold band stamped with the crest she had traced over and over on the beach that day.
When Lawson returned, she pointed at herself and then held up the ring. He smiled and patted her on the head. "O"course ye can keep it, darlin". Ye can "ave all the trinkets yer little "eart desires."
He didn"t understand. How would she make him understand? She slid the ring over her red-tipped thumb. She would save it until she thought of a way.
The fourth ship was a long time coming.
She spent most of that time at the bow of the ship. The crew didn"t grumble much about having a woman on deck. Most of them apparently didn"t consider her a woman. Lawson made it plain that he enjoyed having her there. Word was getting around about b.l.o.o.d.y Captain Lawson and the Siren. They struck fear in the hearts of men and made quite a profit as a result, so if anyone had disagreements, no one made mention of them.
Lawson called her their figurehead. It was an apt description, based on what she had seen on the prows of other ships. She would lean against the rail, arms spread, red hair trailing behind her in the breeze. She liked letting the wind slip through her fingers. It reminded her of home. The currents of air were not that different from the currents of water. Men did not have the freedom of movement that her kind enjoyed, but the principles were the same. They walked among it, breathed it in, let it give them life. It brought sounds and smells to them. They did not see it or think to taste it, but it was always there in them, touching them, surrounding them.
She stood there, day after day, until the salt encrusted her lips and her hair was a burnished orange. What little red appeared in the tips of her fingers had been burned there by the sun. The men avoided her and prayed hard for another ship. They tread lightly around the captain. No one wanted to be the Siren"s next meal.
Lawson finally bade her return to the stateroom, and she was too weak to disobey. The table was covered in maps and charts. She walked past them on the way to the bed and glanced down at the area Lawson was plotting. A symbol caught her eye, and she jumped back. She waved at Lawson. She pointed to herself, and to the ring around her thumb. She pointed to herself, and to the same symbol down on the map.
"There?" he asked her. "Ye want to go there? Why?"
She could not answer, so she just kept pointing to herself and the map.
"That"s "ome," Lawson told her. "Where Molly is. I promised never to go back until I "ad a ship full o"riches. She deserves no less." He shook his head. "No, darlin", we can"t go there. Not yet."
Frustrated, she closed her eyes. Disjointed thought flashes skipped through her mind. She tried to remember the man with the ring, tried to bring his soul to the surface. But it had been so long, and she was so weary...and there was a port...
Her eyes snapped open. She moved her finger on the map to an island just off the coast of the country bearing her lover"s symbol. She pointed at Lawson, and then stamped her finger back down on the map.
"There? What"s there?"
She threw her hands up in exasperation and scanned the room. She held up the medallion of her necklace to him.
"Gold?"
She nodded and kept searching. She found his knife on the table, picked it up, and then shook her head.
"Swords?"
She shook her head again.
"This?" He removed the pistol from his belt and held it out to her. She nodded emphatically.
He c.o.c.ked his head and grinned. "Siren, if ye"re right about this, I"ll take ye anywhere in the world." He strode out of the room and hollered to his first mate. "Hard to port, matey!"
"Cap"n?" the first mate asked.