Resisting Temptation.
Jordon.
We"ve been on the road for two weeks. No matter how hard I"ve tried, and believe me I"ve tried every trick in the book, Brittan"s still resisting every advance I"ve make. Normally, by now I would have had the woman I was pursuing underneath me every f.u.c.king night we"ve been touring!
Brittan is frustrating the ever living s.h.i.t out of me.
She hasn"t held back with flaunting her perfect f.u.c.king a.s.s and t.i.ts. I"d love nothing more than to slide my d.i.c.k between those gorgeous t.i.ts of hers and f.u.c.k them until I blow my load.
Thank G.o.d for the fine a.s.s we"ve had backstage after every concert, because if not, I"d have had to resort to jerking off. That is the last thing I want to be doing on a tour bus with three other guys closely bunked in around me.
The most f.u.c.ked up part is I have to picture how Brittan looked when I was giving her mind shattering o.r.g.a.s.ms just to get off. It"s not like the chicks I"m banging are ugly, not by a long shot.
s.h.i.t, I still have standards!
To top it all off, she walks around backstage acting as if I am f.u.c.king invisible!
I never chase a girl. Ever. They always chase me.
For the first time ever, I broke the one cardinal rule I"ve lived by my entire f.u.c.king life. I can"t stop thinking about Brittan and how it would feel to f.u.c.k her every single night in a different city while on this tour.
How f.u.c.ked up is that?
I thought I"d be able to f.u.c.k enough chicks while on the road that I"d be saying, Brittan who? I never thought another woman would crawl into my head and refuse to get the h.e.l.l out. The last woman to do this, broke-up with me a week before I went on that Indie tour last summer.
There"s nothing like having your girlfriend of two years tell you she"s pregnant, and in the next breath say, "oh, by the way; it"s not yours".
That was a f.u.c.king awesome way to leave on tour. I got over Kinsley pretty quick after I had a few wild nights with some Grade A p.u.s.s.y.
I figured I"d be able to say the same about Brittan. But two weeks and seven random f.u.c.ks later, all my d.i.c.k wants is to be buried inside of her.
f.u.c.k. Me.
Even on stage I can"t get her out of my head. The one place I can normally escape from the world and get lost in my f.u.c.king music.
"You guys have been awesome! I am officially in love with Phoenix!" Zane shouts out to the crowd, causing them to erupt in whistles and screams so loud my eardrums vibrate inside my head.
I pump my fist in the air and stroke the strings on my electric guitar as I chant, "Phoenix, Phoenix..." and my bandmates join in.
The crowd is eating it up.
You learn quickly that you need to treat a crowd of fans like you would a chick you"re trying to get your d.i.c.k into. So every performance we stroke the egos of the fans at the concerts. Just like a girl would stroke the nice large c.o.c.k trapped in my tight jeans.
They love to hear how amazing they are and the more we tell them, the louder they cheer and the crazier they get.
I glance down at the mosh pit at my feet and lean down hi-fiving a few, causing a new riot to erupt inside the barricade. Bodies begin thrashing against each other as I fall to my knees in front of them and start playing a bada.s.s riff on my guitar.
A smirk plays on my lips, as I watch the chicks in the crowd go crazy. They get turned on faster than a guy in a strip club when they see my fingers teasing the strings of my guitar.
Jumping to my feet, I run over to Zane and whisper in his ear. I just got an idea that I think will definitely get Brittan"s blood boiling.
One thing I love is getting under that girl"s skin.
Zane flashes one of his mega-watt smiles that instantly cause women to drop to their knees, and beg to suck his d.i.c.k. Shouting out to the crowd, he asks, "How about we do one of our favorite covers for you guys since you are so f.u.c.king awesome? Then we"ll send Beyond Redemption out here to blow the roof off this mo"fo?!"
The crowd of thousands goes insane chanting Tempting Tomorrow over and over, sending chills over my entire body. I"m still trying to get use to the fact that people actually love our s.h.i.t!
Zane runs around the stage telling Lawson and Jayson; who now, because Brittan said she loves Kingston, insists we all call him that.
f.u.c.king a.s.shole is crushing on her too.
Zane lets them all know the last song we"re going to perform before we end our night.
We all start clapping our hands in sync as soon as Zane"s feet land back in front of his mic, and we start singing, "whoa ohh whoa ooh whoa ooh ahh oooh ooh oohh..." and then Kingston and I start playing on our guitars as Lawson begins tearing it up on the drums.
As soon as Zane starts singing the first line, the crowd erupts with infectious energy and instantly begins singing along with him.
"Be careful making wishes in the dark...dark."
I glance to the corner of the stage where Brittan and the other bandmates from Beyond Redemption stand during every concert, watching us perform. I flash Brittan a wicked grin and let out a low chuckle as I see her expression swiftly change from content to furious.
Oh yeah, baby. You may think you"re the Queen of c.o.c.k Teases, but I"m the King of p.u.s.s.y and before this tour is over I"ll have you wrapped around my c.o.c.k again, begging me to never stop.
Brittan Oh. My. G.o.d.
I cannot believe they"re singing that song.
I"m trying so hard to be p.i.s.sed at him, but my body is betraying me and getting turned on! I can"t take my eyes off Jordon"s fingers as they play along to, Fall Out Boy, making me weak in the knees.
I wonder how many other women he"s fingered to their favorite song and then played the very same song in front of a crowd of thousands as a way of f.u.c.king torturing them!?
Waving to the crowd, Tempting Tomorrow makes their way off stage. Nash, Holden, Casper and Levi all congratulate them on another successful opening. I can"t stop shooting daggers at Jordon as he makes his way past me.
I"d love to smack that smirk right off his face.
I swear he is the only man that makes me want to turn violent. He evokes the worst in me but yet is the one man in years to send my blood boiling and my body panting all at the same time.
After being announced we all run out onto the stage, I step up to my mic and wave to the crowd, "Hey Phoenix! Y"all ready to rock the s.h.i.t outta this place?"
The crowd roars with chanting of "Beyond Redemption, Beyond Redemption!"
I flash them an impish grin and ask, "Did y"all love our opening act Tempting Tomorrow? They"re pretty f.u.c.king bada.s.s aren"t they?"
That gets the crowd going. They"re all hooting and hollering now.
Laughing, I hold my hand up in the air and shout, "Let"s all give them a hand." As I jerk an invisible d.i.c.k sending the crowd into a roar of laughter. I glance over to where Jordon and the guys are now standing and give Jordon a playful wink.
How about them apples, jack a.s.s?
I snicker at a few women and even some men who shout they"d love to give the guys from Tempting Tomorrow a hand job. I love my fans; they seriously are the best!
After another successful concert, we all head backstage for the after party with a select group of fans who purchased backstage pa.s.ses that include drinks with both bands. I eagerly jump behind the mini bar that"s set up and mix drinks for fans in between taking pictures with them.
My eyes can"t stop roaming around the room following Jordon, who"s surrounded by chicks yet again. He"s in groupie heaven at the moment, signing t.i.ts and flirting his a.s.s off. I hate that it bothers me.
Since the night we hooked up; my brain has been a mess. I have thoughts of him blended in my mind mixing with thoughts of Cane. It"s emotionally exhausting trying to deal with it all. I keep trying to forget about Jordon and focus on the love I have for Cane, but it is becoming more and more difficult with each pa.s.sing day I have to spend around him.
I"ve had random hook ups since we"ve been on the road but since Cane died, not one single person has made me feel anything. I just don"t understand why I am feeling so overwhelmed by Jordon. It makes no sense to me.
One of the fans backstage tonight has been flirting with me for the last half hour. I"m h.o.r.n.y; he"s hot. So I"m going for it, especially since I need a hot distraction to keep me from torturing myself. I can"t stop staring at Jordon, as he makes out with some s.k.a.n.k that"s draped over his lap while all the guys do tequila shots.
Earlier, while signing his forearm, I learned the hot guy"s name is Kurt. At that time, he confessed my autograph will be tattooed onto his arm tomorrow. He"s sitting on a barstool chatting with Levi and Nash about the greatest rock bands of all time. I"m standing between his thighs with my arms draped over his shoulders while I nibble on his neck.
I can feel that my efforts to seduce him are working as I feel his erection growing in his jeans. It isn"t huge, but it"ll do the job.
I hear the bimbos behind me talking with Jordon about going back to Tempting Tomorrow"s tour bus with him and the other bandmates. Since Natasha flew back to Chicago this week, the guys have had a record breaking number of groupies on their bus after every concert.
In an attempt to refrain myself from ripping the s.l.u.t that"s kissing Jordon off of his lap and beating the ever living s.h.i.t out of her for putting her lips on him, I distract myself with Kurt.
I kiss a path from his neck up to his ear and whisper, "Come with me." Fisting his t-shirt, I step backwards and mirror the smile he has on his face.
Kurt eagerly follows behind me with his arms wrapped tightly around my waist as we make our way down the long hallway. I quickly yank him into the dressing room I used tonight.
The minute we make it through the door I get to work on his belt, quickly undoing it then sliding his jeans down. I jump up onto my vanity and shimmy my dress up giving him easy access.
"You got a condom?" I ask as he steps between my thighs, and begins stroking his c.o.c.k and teasing my c.l.i.t with the head of it.
"I always come prepared." He says as he fishes a condom out of his jeans pocket.
I s.n.a.t.c.h it out of his hands and get to work tearing open the foil and slowly sliding it over his hard length.
Resting my head back against the mirror, I close my eyes and shudder as he finally enters me. He does it just how I like it: fast and hard.
I don"t want to take this slow.
He grips my a.s.s, lifting me a few centimeters off of the vanity. He angles my hips perfectly so he can increase his speed and thrust into me forcing his pubic bone to stimulate my c.l.i.t.
This is going to be fast and pleasurable. Then we"ll each go on our merry way. My only goal is to have a good f.u.c.k that"ll numb my pain, even if it"s only temporary, and try to help me forget about Jordon.
I lace my fingers through his long s.h.a.ggy blonde hair and get lost in the feeling of his mouth sucking on my neck. His c.o.c.k slides in and out of me as I inch closer to the edge of climax.
"Faster!" I shout through clenched teeth as I arch my back and begin grinding my hips to meet each thrust.
"f.u.c.k..." Kurt curses as his d.i.c.k begins to grow harder and expands ever so slightly. He"s close to finishing, and I"m right there teetering on the verge of climaxing but I can"t reach my o.r.g.a.s.m.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I picture Cane"s face, and imagine it"s him f.u.c.king me right now and not some stranger. I feel tingly as my o.r.g.a.s.m begins to erupt from within me as Kurt"s body jerks, and he reaches his o.r.g.a.s.m too.
I scream out as it pulsates throughout my body, and I"m shocked when Cane"s face begins to morph into Jordon"s. I"m staring into his piercing blue eyes as I ride the wave of ecstasy coursing through me.
What the h.e.l.l just happened?
Panicking, I shove Kurt off me as he starts to pull out causing him to stumble back slightly. He loses his balance due to his jeans being down around his ankles.
Ranking my fingers through my hair, I jump down off the vanity and adjust my dress.
"I"m sorry, I gotta go." I blurt out. I turn my gaze towards the door and try to fight back the tears that are threatening to fall.
My stomach, right on cue, starts to twist in knots as the all too familiar feeling of guilt consumes me. Only this time I feel guilt not only for having s.e.x with a man that isn"t Cane, but also for having Jordon pop up in my subconscious as I climaxed.
I"ve never had that happen before. Never once have I envisioned another man besides Cane.
My head is spinning. It"s bombarded with a thousand thoughts running through it.
"Brittan, wait!" I hear Kurt shout out to me, as I run out of the dressing room and sprint towards the closest ladies room.
After splashing water on my face, I try to calm down but the panic attack is overtaking me and making it hard to breathe. It feels like someone is squeezing my lungs, making it impossible to get a drop of air into them.
Falling to my knees, I sit on the bathroom floor gasping for air as I fist my hands against my chest.
I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye and looked to my left. I m.u.f.fle a scream as I slap my hand over my mouth. I see Cane standing beside me and as quickly as he was there, I blink and he"s gone.
Now my hallucinations are back. Fan-f.u.c.king-tastic!
With shaky legs, I grip the door k.n.o.b, whip the door open and bolt out just in time to crash full force into Jordon, his s.k.a.n.ky groupies and other bandmates.
A look of concern flashes across his face, "Whoa, Brittan!" He says reaching out and gripping my arms.
The purple headed chick with piercings covering her face and ears shoots daggers at me as she eyes Jordon"s hands on my body.
I"ll smack that glare straight off her face if she doesn"t stop glaring at me. I am not in the mood to deal with catty b.i.t.c.hes tonight.
It probably doesn"t help that I look like s.h.i.t at the moment. I have big racc.o.o.n eyes, and my hair is a complete mess. I look like I feel...like s.h.i.t.
That"s what getting f.u.c.ked in a dressing room then having a panic attack and seeing your dead fiance will do to a girl.
With shaky words, I say, "I"m so sorry."
Jordon scans his eyes over my body and then focuses back on my face. "Are you okay? Kurt just came back into the after party and said you bolted out of here like the place was on fire. He didn"t know what happened."
I feel like s.h.i.t that I scared the c.r.a.p out of Kurt. He probably thinks I"m going to claim he raped me or something.
G.o.d. This is just getting worse by the minute.