With Brittan, it started out as fun casual s.e.x, but with each pa.s.sing day we"ve spent together while on this tour, it"s slowly developed into something more. I don"t want to be the friend she f.u.c.ks on the side and then goes to after parties and randomly hooks up with other guys.
I want her all to myself.
We"ve spent the last three days at her beach house in Malibu. It"s been fun, all of us just chilling at the beach, Bar-B-Qing, drinking, and just hanging out. We"ve grown into one big a.s.s family of crazy rockers, and I love it. This tour has turned into something I could never have imagined.
Brittan"s best friend Roxie stayed two nights; I noticed a change in Brittan between those two days. Her friendship with Roxie is not something you see every day. They truly are best friends in every way. After talking with Roxie a bit, I can see she likes me too. I can"t help but think she had something to do with Brittan finally letting me in. I will forever be grateful to her for whatever it is she said or did.
Today is Valentine"s Day and our last night off before we load onto the buses and hit the road again. I want to spend the entire day with Brittan making sure she has fun.
It"s hard being with a woman who"s had her heart broken so severely. I want to be the one who helps her move on, but it"s difficult to do. Every time I think I"m getting Brittan to come out of the force field she"s built around herself, she seems to lock herself back inside it.
Especially on a day like today.
I imagine since she was with Cane for so many years; in her head, she has made Valentine"s Day a special day only for them.
My goal for today is to make sure Brittan has fun and doesn"t spend it with her thoughts in the past.
I want her to enjoy Valentine"s Day and to enjoy spending it with me. I do not want her to lock herself away in thoughts of a life she no longer has.
Brittan is downstairs making us breakfast, having snuck down and cooking while I was still asleep. Kingston and Zane are still pa.s.sed out. Their plan is to spend the day down on the beach hitting on lonely hot chicks.
I just finished taking a quick shower and slipped on a t-shirt and some basketball shorts. While lacing up my sneakers, I can"t help but smile to myself as I think back to how I spent Valentine"s Day last year compared to how I plan on spending it today.
Last year on Valentine"s Day, I was busting my a.s.s working at a guitar store in Chicago, waiting for our big break. I stopped by a florist to grab Kinsley flowers and then took her out to eat at her favorite restaurant. The whole day I was just going through the motions. I liked her, but I sure as h.e.l.l didn"t love her. I had fun with her; she was great in bed, but there was never a moment where I thought if we broke up tomorrow I"d be devastated.
I think it"s because we both felt the same way. We were friends who were trying to force our friendship to be a relationship. Then to find out that she was sleeping with someone else the entire time hurt like h.e.l.l, but I guess she did me a favor. We parted ways, and I left on the Rockers and Rebels summer tour with a few other indie bands.
All that led me to where I am right now. For the first time, I am actually putting thought into Valentine"s Day and wanting to make it a special day for Brittan.
This girl has me all tied up in f.u.c.king knots. I can"t stop thinking about her; no matter how hard I try. The last three nights with Brittan sleeping curled up in my arms have been the best nights of my life. Feeling her relax and sleep so peacefully has been the most amazing feeling ever; especially knowing it"s because of me.
I"ve lost count to how many nights I heard her crying herself to sleep on the tour bus. It took everything in me to keep my a.s.s in my bed and not bust her d.a.m.n door down. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed, dry her tears and hold her until she fell asleep.
My goal, today, is to help Brittan forget about everything she"s dealing with and just enjoy herself. I talked with Roxie to get some ideas of things she loves to do, and I"m confident this Valentine"s Day will be a day she"ll never forget.
Since the first day we were together on her tour bus, I"ve been working on a song in my head. I plan on singing it to her tonight. I just hope that with everything I am doing she"ll slowly continue to open herself up to me.
Jogging down the stairs into Brittan"s kitchen, my face breaks out into a huge grin. She"s looking as gorgeous as ever, standing by the counter slicing oranges.
Her house is breathtaking with every wall that faces the ocean made of out gla.s.s. They open up, exposing her house to the warm sun and cool salty breeze of the Pacific Ocean.
"Happy Valentine"s Day, Brittan." I murmur against her lips as I press a kiss to her plump lips that taste of citrus. Leaning against the counter, I can"t take my eyes off of her as I pop a K-Cup into her Keurig.
Playfully slapping me on the b.u.t.t, Brittan flashes me a sultry smile, "Happy Valentine"s Day to you too, Mr. Valentine."
I normally hate my last name, but hearing it come out of her mouth; I suddenly love it.
"Good thing you made this big a.s.s breakfast because today you"re going to need your energy." I tell her forthright, as I add cream and sugar into my coffee and eye the counter full of food.
Laughing, Brittan rests her hand on her hip and purses her lips making me ache to kiss them again, "Don"t tell me you plan on keeping me locked upstairs in the bedroom all day, because that is not what a girl finds romantic on Valentine"s Day."
I can"t help but shake my head and laugh at her sa.s.siness. She"s a hot Latin spitfire. Add that red hair, and you got yourself one hot chick that can make your d.i.c.k spring to life faster than you can say "morning wood".
Adjusting myself in my basketball shorts, a ghost of a smile creeps over my lips. The thought of locking her up in her bedroom to f.u.c.k until we both collapse from exhaustion plays in my mind.
Brittan slaps my arm playfully knocking the erotic imagines from my mind, "Will you stop picturing us having s.e.x!?! You"re such a perv."
Smiling down at her, I snaked my arm around her waist and pull her to me, "You love my dirty mind! And you love when I imagine f.u.c.king you on every surface of your bedroom."
I can"t help but get harder as I feel her shudder in my arms as my words. .h.i.t those pretty little ears of hers.
"If you keep talking dirty like that I may just turn the tables on you, Jordon. It"ll be me locking you upstairs."
I let out a deep chuckle and press my erection into her hip, "Oh, don"t threaten me with a good time, because then I"ll just have to keep talking dirty to you."
Rolling her eyes, Brittan pops a piece of kiwi in her mouth and eyes me as she chews it and begins making her plate. "I better fuel up then because no matter what you have planned, I"m picturing the day ending with me naked and exhausted."
Now it"s my turn to shudder.
d.a.m.n this woman can make me practically fall to my knees and beg her to let me f.u.c.k her with just the slightest glance.
Piling waffles, eggs and bacon onto my plate, I grab my coffee and I make my way over to the island surrounded with bar stools and sit down beside Brittan. She"s already busy smothering her waffles with syrup. She has a mountain of fruit and yogurt stacked on top of them, but she"s defeating the purpose of making her breakfast healthy by adding the entire fricking bottle of syrup onto her plate.
"You"re right." I admit as I shove a piece of bacon into my mouth, and wash it down with a sip of coffee.
Brittan raises an eyebrow at me as she watches me intently, waiting for me to continue.
"I"m a Rock Star, baby. So of course I plan on ending the night buried inside that delicious p.u.s.s.y of yours."
Eyeing me suspiciously, Brittan takes a sip of her orange juice and then slowly slides her tongue across her lips. I can"t take it, leaning in I cup the back of her head and press a kiss to her lips. Slowly mimicking her, I slide my tongue across her lips, licking the citrusy juice from them.
"Mmm, now that"s how to start the morning off right." I tease as I press another quick kiss to her lips.
Brittan lets out the cutest laugh as she bites into a strawberry. I practically c.u.m in my pants as I watch those lips wrap around the fruit.
How the f.u.c.k does she make eating breakfast so d.a.m.n arousing?
"Now, seriously...are you going to tell me what you have planned for us today?" Brittan asks snapping her fingers in front of my face, breaking me out of my daze. My mind froze the moment I envisioned those lips wrapped around my c.o.c.k.
"Nope." Is all I say as I quickly get to work finishing my breakfast, trying to refrain from f.u.c.king her right here on the kitchen counter.
Brittan As soon as we finished breakfast Jordon sent me upstairs. The only hint I had for today"s plans were to put on hiking clothes. So now here I sit in the pa.s.senger seat of my Challenger, wearing yoga capris, racer back tank, and my favorite sneakers.
I"ve asked multiple times where we"re going, but he refuses to tell me. To top it off, he"s making me cover my eyes. I already know we"re going hiking; he made that clear when he had me get dressed. You would think where wouldn"t be a big secret, but whatever.
Most guys would take you out to some fancy restaurant for Valentine"s Day. Not to a mountain for a hike. The only reason I can figure he is doing this is because of Roxie. She must have told him how much I love going for long runs through the various trails here in Malibu. Running was one of the things I did every day, while in rehab, that helped me clear my head.
Today is definitely a good day for a run because I"ve been struggling to keep it together. Having Jordon here with me this morning was surprisingly helpful. He helped keep me distracted from my thoughts. Normally on Valentine"s Day, I"d stay cooped up in my house all day remembering all the things Cane and I did each year.
This morning I woke up in a panic because I was dreaming about Cane again. The dream was so vivid. I woke up in a confused state thinking it was real. It was as if he was really standing there with me. As I began to wake from the fogginess, I realized I was in my bed in Malibu and not back at my old condo with Cane.
I was on the verge of a breakdown when I remembered what today is. I then rolled over to find Jordon sleeping peacefully beside me in my bed. The warm morning breeze was blowing through the windows, and the sun cast a ray of light that shined across my bed stopping on Jordon"s face.
I laid there for a few moments gently sliding my fingers through his hair, just enough to soothe myself and not wake him up.
At that moment, I told myself I would not allow myself to wallow in self-pity today. I"m going to celebrate life and enjoy today with Jordon. I can look back on memories of Cane and be happy, instead of letting them paralyze me.
Cane told me to follow my dreams, to be happy, and that"s what I"m going to try and do.
I"m lucky to be doing just that. So many people wish to be a star, and here I am, the lead singer in a number one alternative rock group. I"ve had a lot of struggles but after it was all said and done I still had my career.
I am so appreciative to the guys for taking a chance on me and for Cane, who even in death was by my side supporting my dreams. Without the money he left me, I would probably be teaching music in a high school somewhere instead of traveling around the world.
I never imagined after losing Cane that I"d meet a man who makes me feel alive again. The last few weeks have been truly amazing. I haven"t laughed this much since Cane was alive. For the first time in eight years, I actually look forward to waking up in the morning just so I can see Jordon.
So today, I"m going to push aside my thoughts of Cane, and focus on enjoying the day with Jordon. I can"t wait to see what he has in store for us.
I"m excited to make some new memories.
I feel the car come to a stop, and the roar of the engine quiet as Jordon turns it off. I hear the sound of my security team pulling up beside us.
"Can I remove my hands yet?" I ask with excitement in my voice.
I hear the sound of the driver door opening and closing followed by Jordon"s sneakers on the paved parking lot as he makes his way around the car and to my door. I feel his body shading me from the sun as he finally speaks, "You can now."
Opening my eyes I blink a few times to adjust to the bright sunlight shining through the windshield. I glance to my right peering up at Jordon who"s resting with his arms propped up on the roof of my car and his forehead resting against my car.
I immediately recognize the parking area. This is my favorite place to hike, Devil"s Backbone Trail at Mt. Baldy. It"s a hard trail and only experienced hikers, and runners use it.
I give Jordon an impish grin, "Devil"s Backbone? Are you sure you can handle this? My idea of a fun Valentine"s Day is not sitting in the ER with my date because he collapsed while trying to keep up with me."
The trail is 6.6 miles of incline to the peak of the mountain. One section of the trail is only wide enough to walk through with drop offs on both sides. If you have a fear of heights, this is not the hike for you.
Jordon furrows his brows, "Psshhh; I think it"ll be the other way around. For your information, I"m an avid runner and this place will be like a walk in the park for me. So if you can, please try to keep up and don"t collapse before we reach the top."
Ignoring him I flip onto my knees and grab our hoodies we threw in the backseat. The higher up in alt.i.tude we get, the cooler it"ll be and we"ll definitely want an extra layer of clothing.
"Ouch!" I scream spinning back around and glaring at Jordon, who has a c.o.c.ky grin plastered on his face.
Men. They can"t resist slapping an a.s.s in tight spandex.
"Hey, you wiggle that thing around in my face I"m going to slap it." He tells me bluntly as I climb out of the car and chuck his hoodie at his chest.
With our water bottles in tow and two of my security guards a few feet behind us, we begin the trek up the trail. We stop and take pics with the San Antonio Falls behind us. We are about two hours into the hike we"re now going at a full on jog.
Glancing over my shoulder, I keep smiling back at Jordon who"s trying so hard to keep up, but failing miserably.
Avid runner my a.s.s.
"You want to turn around?" I ask stopping and jogging in place.
Jordon stops and gripping his thighs he leans over trying to catch his breath. "No. I"m good. Just need to rest a second then we can continue." He says in between gasps of air.
"Okay, let"s sit over here." Walking off of the trail, I find a spot under a tree with some shade and sit down. I squeeze my water bottle filling my mouth with water, and watch as Jordon does the same as he sits down beside me.
My body guard"s stay standing at the edge of the trail to make sure no one bothers us. Luckily for us, it"s not very busy today.
Jordon brushes a strand of hair out of my face that has fallen out of my ponytail and tucks it behind my ear as he slides his gaze over my face. The feeling of his hands on my face sends a jolt of electricity straight to my chest, causing me to momentarily lose my breath.
I imagine my face is redder than a cherry, and my skin is misted in sweat from running for over two hours.
Definitely not very glamorous at the moment.
"So, how am I doing so far?" He asks, never taking his eyes off of mine.
I don"t know if he"s asking me about his running skills or choice of Valentine"s Day activities, but I"m a.s.suming it"s the latter.
Deciding to bust his b.a.l.l.s I answer, "Well, I was expecting more stellar running skills, but hey you made it almost five miles in two hours, that"s pretty awesome."
Jordon tries to look offended, but I see through his act, "No, you smart a.s.s, what do you think of your first surprise so far today?" Pausing a moment he glares at me trying to hide the smile creeping up on his lips and failing miserably, "And for your information, I"m a very good runner; the change in elevation is more difficult to run in than I thought it would be. I"m used to running in parks not mountains, unlike you Miss. Professional All Terrain Runner."
Falling back on the gra.s.s, I let out a small giggle as Jordon slides his fingers under my tank top and tickles my stomach.
"I love hearing you laugh, you never look more beautiful...well that isn"t true because you"re the most beautiful when you"re at the peak of an o.r.g.a.s.m that I"m giving you." He whispers with a sly grin, just low enough for me to hear.
Immediately the all too familiar tingle between my thighs returns as Jordon mentions s.e.x. I don"t know what it is about this man but just a few dirty words, and I am panting. I"m practically begging him to f.u.c.k me right here in the middle of a d.a.m.n hiking trail!
"You don"t need to try and flatter me, Jordon. You know you"re getting a piece of a.s.s tonight. I look far from beautiful at the moment with my sweaty hair and red flushed face." I clamp my bottom lip between my teeth as his hand works its way from my abdomen to the side of my thigh.
Giving my leg a squeeze Jordon"s eyes soften, and his voice turns serious, "Believe me Brittan, every word I speak is the truth. Always. I love this side of you that only I have the honor of seeing. Everyone else gets to see the Rock Star Brittan. The Brittan who is covered in designer clothes and has her hair and makeup all done up, while I get to see your natural beauty. Like these big, bright brown eyes..." He says pressing kisses to both my eyes, "and my favorite are these perfectly plump lips. Believe me, if I could, I would spend all day kissing...or watching them go up and down my...ughhh!" Jordon huffs out a groan, as I smack him in the arm before he can finish the rest of that sentence.
"You were doing so well then you had to go all pervert again." I laugh, and I slide my fingers into his hair, pulling him down to me for a kiss.
It feels amazing to just let go, and it"s getting easier to do with Jordon. I don"t even think about it. It just feels as if it"s a natural instinct to relax and enjoy myself instead of forcing it.
I fist his hair as he deepens the kiss. I can taste the salt of our sweat on our lips, and I open my mouth giving him better access. He eagerly dips his tongue into my mouth twisting his with mine. I let out a tiny moan as he begins to pull away.
I"m so lost in the moment that I forget for a split second that we"re lying on the side of the trail in the middle of the woods.
That"s what Jordon does to me.
He makes me stop thinking, and I get lost in living in the moment.
Little by little I feel the barrier between us slowly crumbling.
He"s made this one of the best day"s I"ve had in a very long time, and I"m excited to see what other surprises Jordon has planned for us.