His excitement is contagious, and it helps me realize that I"ve made the right decision.
"Yes. I want to be with you, Jordon. Only you. You"re the only guy, in eight years, to make me feel alive when I thought it was impossible. No matter how big of a b.i.t.c.h I was and how many times I pushed you away, you have been right there beside me. You"ve supported me unwaveringly. If that doesn"t show me what you feel for me is real, then I don"t know what would."
Crashing his mouth to mine, Jordon hugs my tightly against him. Our hearts beat rhythmically against each other, feeling as if they"re beating as one.
I melt into his body, letting the feelings inside of me take over and the thoughts in my head fade.
The intensity in his kiss sends a bolt of electricity shooting through my body, causing every touch and caress to magnify. I"m throbbing, wanting to be filled by him, and to feel his mouth on every inch of me.
Tonight, I"m only going to focus on Jordon and how he makes me feel. Giving him all of me that I can, and once tomorrow comes we"ll see where we go from there.
With each piece of the wall guarding my heart that Jordon breaks down, he finds a place inside it I didn"t know was there. I love Cane with every fiber of my being and nothing will ever change that, but I feel my heart growing. My heart is making room for Jordon.
For a moment, the image of Cane flashes behind me eyes. He is happy...happy I"m sober, and happy I"m letting love back into my heart. For years, I was plagued with guilt, and since I finally allowed myself to open up to Jordon, the guilt has slowly slipped away.
Breaking our kiss, Jordon stands taking my hand and pulling me to my feet. "What do you say we head to bed, and play what"s your favorite song?"
Snaking my arm around his waist, I lead him into the house, "I was just thinking that, and I know exactly what song I want you to play. I think I deserve an encore of the last performance."
Walking into the house, I stop at the doorway and gaze up at the night sky. I smile up at the brightest star twinkling above us, and whisper, "Happy Valentine"s Day, Cane." For the first time, I"m going to bed with my heart filled with love and happiness.
Tonight is the start of a new beginning.
Falling.
Jordon.
It"s been two months since Brittan and I became official. Since Valentine"s Day, my life has changed for the better. It hasn"t been easy, but she"s worth it.
The guys weren"t shocked at all. They said it was about d.a.m.n time. My bandmates didn"t get how huge that moment really was for me, but Brittan"s bandmates did. They know what she has gone through since losing her fiance, and were happy to see her finally taking the first step forward with her life.
We spent the last two months touring the Midwest with a break two weeks ago. We had a week off which will be our only break until the tour ends in July, so Brittan and I went to stay at her house in Miami for some much needed rest and relaxation.
She needed a break.
Brittan works harder than anyone I know. Between the shows, her charity foundation, and all the media gigs we"ve been doing to promote the tour and our alb.u.ms; we"ve been running on little sleep and lots of coffee.
It was nice to get some time alone, just Brittan and I without managers, a.s.sistants, and bandmates around twenty-four seven. We were able to have her parents, Roxie with her husband Matt and Brittan"s friend Dalton along with his wife and kids come to the house for a cookout. I was nice to meet everyone just before we left to continue our tour.
I was nervous meeting her parents and friends because they"ve always known her as Cane"s Brittan. They were all actually really cool and welcomed me with open arms. I think they are overjoyed to see Brittan doing so well. She hasn"t had a relapse since that one night on tour and emotionally she seems to be doing really well.
I"ve made it clear to her she can talk about Cane whenever she wants. I never want her to feel she can"t hold onto those memories of their life together. I just don"t want her memories from the past affecting her creating memories in the present.
This week I"m pumped because we"re heading to my old stomping ground, good old Chicago. My parents are excited to finally see me; we"ve been on the road since January and only get to stay in Chicago a few days. My mother is planning to have an early Easter dinner since we"ll be touring the east coast by the time Sunday rolls around.
I"m so f.u.c.king nervous about the dinner; my mother has asked me to bring Brittan along, and she"s obsessed with those stupid gossip sites and magazines. She has been blowing up my phone since seeing us on one of the covers with the headline The New King and Queen of Rock & Roll! The magazine was decked out with a photo of Brittan and me that we shot last month for Rolling Stone to promote our summer leg of the tour.
People are obsessed with all things celebrity. I find it crazy that anyone would care what the h.e.l.l I"m doing or who I"m dating. Last summer no one knew who I was and had no interest in finding out. Now I can"t go anywhere without the paparazzi following Brittan and me.
It"s gotten so ridiculous that we try to stay on the bus or in hotels so we can have some privacy.
"About one hour until we"re in Chicago." We hear come over the intercom from the driver of our bus, snapping me out of my thoughts.
Straddling me, Brittan grabs the notebook out of my hand that I was writing lyrics down in, and tosses it onto the stand beside the bed.
Gripping her hips, I give her a questionable glance. "What"s gotten into you?" I ask as I lean up, lifting her tee. I suck her left pierced nipple into my mouth, swirling my tongue around the silver ring and her hardening bud.
I"m not complaining at all, believe me I"d f.u.c.k her morning, noon, and night if I could.
I still can"t believe she pierced her nipple. While in Miami, we went to Miami Ink and she had her nipple pierced and new ink added to the b.u.t.terflies and flowers rib tattoo she has along her left side. She added sheet music to flow between the two with the words, music washes from the soul the dust of everyday life.
To humor her, I let Brittan pick out a new tattoo for me.
I"ve been adding new designs to the Asian dragon tattoo on my right arm, making it into a quarter length sleeve, but Brittan said she wanted me to tattoo a new area of my body.
I"ll do anything that girl asks me to, except one thing. I said f.u.c.k no when she suggested piercing my d.i.c.k!
She decided on two sparrows, one on my left hip and one on my right hip, with Carpe Diem in script font between them. It"s Latin for Seize the Day. I came up with the quote, wanting something that would be meaningful for Brittan and me.
Brittan said she saw the tattoo in the book, and just knew she would love exploring what was below those bird"s beaks.
Hey, if it means I get blown due to her exploring where my tattoos lead, then so be it.
Sliding her tongue seductively along her bottom lip, she slides my boxers off. "We only have one hour, so we better make it count, Mr. Valentine. After that, it"ll be radio interviews, sound checks, and meeting your parents for the foreseeable future," pressing her finger to my mouth she gives me a knowing look, "don"t bother arguing with me because you know I"m right. We"re going to be exhausted by the time we get back on the road."
Who am I to argue with that reasoning?
Sitting up so my back is flush against the headboard, Brittan quickly removes her top, pajama shorts and panties. My d.i.c.k is so hard right now it"s standing at attention waiting for her to slide her tight perfection around it.
"I wouldn"t dream of it." I murmur against her skin, as I trail a path of kisses from her belly ring back up to her nipple ring.
"Mmm..." She moans as she slides down my length. She slides her fingers into my hair, sc.r.a.ping her nails against my scalp. The sensation makes my eyes roll into the back of my head.
Every time I"m inside of her, feeling her warm tight p.u.s.s.y wrapped around my c.o.c.k, it"s like pure f.u.c.king bliss. Brittan is my heaven, h.e.l.l and everything in between. When I"m f.u.c.king her all is right in the world.
Dragging my fingers along her hips, I lift her up and down on my d.i.c.k. She rotates her hips, ma.s.saging the head of my d.i.c.k and practically making me pa.s.s the f.u.c.k out.
"f.u.c.k...baby...you sure know how to make a man lose his G.o.d d.a.m.n mind..." I hiss between clenched teeth, as I toss my head back against the headboard.
Brittan moves her hands from my hair down to my shoulders. Her nails dig into me and break the skin, as she holds onto me for dear life while she slides herself from root to tip before slamming back down on top of me.
"Ahh...G.o.d...Jordon!" She screams, not caring that our driver can more than likely hear us. She tilts her head back and vocalizes for me how much she loves my c.o.c.k.
Squeezing her a.s.s, I began rotating my hips, connecting our bodies with hard frenzied thrusts. I feel like I can never get deep enough inside of her. When we"re f.u.c.king we"re no longer two people; we become one. It"s the most incredible feeling, especially as she comes around my d.i.c.k.
I slide my right hand along the side of her body, loving the feeling of her hot smooth skin under my fingers. I work my way up to her neck, fisting a handful of her hair, pulling roughly to tilt her head back and expose her neck.
The instant I yank on her hair I feel her shudder around me. Like the f.u.c.king G.o.ddess she is, she gets turned on every time I pull her hair while she rides my d.i.c.k.
I suck, bite, lick and kiss a fiery path from her collar bone up to those lush lips of hers. Biting down on her full bottom lip, I slide my tongue along it and tug on it gently. She drives her nails into me harder and grinds against me at a quickening pace.
Savoring the taste of her pink lemonade lip-gloss, I finally give her what she wants and crush my lips against hers. Our kiss is hard, l.u.s.tful and raw. Our hunger for each other is all-consuming. It"s as if no matter how hard we kiss or how hard we f.u.c.k, we can never get enough of one another.
I"ve let her ride me long enough, now it"s my turn to take the reins.
Pulling away from her mouth, I take in the vision before me. Brittan looks like she"s floating on a high that only I can give her. With those lips, red and swollen from our kiss, bringing me to my f.u.c.king knees, stretching into an alluring smile that"s making my heart slam against my f.u.c.king chest; she knows she has all the power. She"s had me by the b.a.l.l.s since the first night we met.
The need to make her go hoa.r.s.e from her screams of pleasure only my d.i.c.k can give her is astounding. Squeezing her hips, I steady her so that she"s sitting on my c.o.c.k with it eagerly throbbing inside, aching to be ma.s.saged once again by her velvety walls.
"Lie down, baby." I command, motioning my eyes to her side of the bed.
Desire is sparkling in her eyes, as she lies back and lifts her legs giving me full access to my favorite place on earth.
Draping them over my shoulders, I slide the head of my d.i.c.k around her c.l.i.t, teasing her before plunging in hard and deep.
"G.o.d...Jordon! I swear you"re trying to kill me!" She says between moans mixed with soft laughter. I lean down, slowly circling my tongue around her nipples, teasing both of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
I love how flexible she is.
I can bend her legs over her head effortlessly, which just turns me on even more. I swear my girl is a f.u.c.king walking hard on. Just the thought of the things I do to her on a daily basis can give me a b.o.n.e.r that"ll last for hours.
The feeling of her legs wrapped around my head, and her p.u.s.s.y around my d.i.c.k is. Pure. f.u.c.king. Heaven.
"Ooohh, f.u.c.k!" I curse, as she squeezes around me. I grip her hips and hold her lower body off the bed as I begin to feverishly pump into her. I"m careful to only slide my c.o.c.k out leaving the tip inside of her, and drive it back in over and over.
Brittan"s hands are wrapped tightly around my thighs as she tries to hold onto me. Her eyes are closed, and she"s biting down on her bottom lip moaning continuously, it"s as if she"s humming the most erotic song I"ve ever heard.
"Ohh...f.u.c.k...Jordon." She keeps chanting and can I feel her body stiffening as her climax nears. Hearing her moan my name makes my d.i.c.k grow impossibly hard.
"Do you love my d.i.c.k inside your p.u.s.s.y?" I ask between thrusts.
G.o.d I love that look of elation on her face while I slam into her g-spot. Releasing one of her legs, I lick my fingers and get to work playing her c.l.i.t like I would my Gibson.
"Oh. My. G.o.d. Yes!" She shouts between moans making my d.i.c.k throb as it threatens to explode at any moment.
"Favorite song, baby?" I ask with a devilish smile dancing across my lips. I tease her c.l.i.t, pushing her to the edge.
Taking a deep breath, she opens her eyes, and I get lost momentarily in the beauty that is Brittan McKenna.
f.u.c.k. This woman wrecks me with just the slightest glance.
"If I say Lite "Em Up, you gotta play it at the concert...G.o.d it makes me so h.o.r.n.y when I watch you play that song." Her words are breathy and laced with s.e.x, making my d.i.c.k throb inside of her.
"Oh, you can bet your sweet a.s.s I"ll be playing that song, and the whole time I"ll be imagining playing you sweetheart."
Sliding her legs down, she hooks them around my waist and fists the blankets as I get to work pumping my c.o.c.k into her and playing my girl"s favorite finger f.u.c.king song.
Within seconds, she"s tightening around me and arching her back as an o.r.g.a.s.m rips through her. Watching her come is the most erotic thing I"ve ever witnessed in my entire f.u.c.king life.
The look of euphoria on Brittan"s face as she o.r.g.a.s.ms is my undoing. I thrust into her one more time before my body shudders and I come deep inside of her. Her p.u.s.s.y pulsates around my c.o.c.k milking everything I have in me.
Collapsing on top of her, the sound of our heavy breathing fills the small room. The smell of s.e.x, mixed with Brittan"s fruity body lotion is a delicious concoction filling my nose. Every inch of my body is humming from the o.r.g.a.s.m I just had. Nothing compares to this moment.
Not even being on stage.
"That was very, very nice." Brittan whispers breathlessly while sliding her nails up and down my back.
Leaning up on my elbows, I smile down at her, "I definitely think this helped pa.s.s the time. What do you say we jump in the shower and find a way to pa.s.s the next forty minutes?"
Nodding, she holds my face between her delicate little hands and pulls me down to her for a kiss.
The adrenaline that shoots through my body every time our lips meet is addicting. I crave the taste of her every second of the day. I ache for the euphoric high that I only get when our mouths are tangled together in soul shattering kisses.
My true moments of happiness are when it"s just her and me blending into one, as our bodies connect on a level I"ve never experienced with anyone else.
I am falling in love with this woman.
I feel it every time we have s.e.x or even when she smiles at me from across the room. It"s like nothing I"ve ever felt before. I pray to every G.o.d known to f.u.c.king man that she loves me too because there"s no walking away from this one.
"I love the way your mind works." My heart stops for a beat then fires back up when I hear the word love flow from her lips.
That confirms what I"ve known deep down. I love Brittan. Now I just hope when I finally get the courage to speak those three words to her; she"ll repeat them back to me.
Brittan "Are you nervous about meeting Jordon"s parents tomorrow?" Roxie asks me, while I sit for the hairstylist my label sent over to my hotel room. He works on teasing my hair, which was just colored dark cherry red. Roxie loved it the second she saw it, and I can"t wait to see what Jordon thinks.
Roxie and I are FaceTiming while I get my hair and make-up done. I feel like since we have been back on the road, I"ve barely spoken to Roxie. Between her schedule and mine, we are lucky if we get five seconds to talk in a day. So here I am multi-tasking.
Holden, Casper, Nash, Levi and I, along with Jordon and his bandmates, have a radio interview this afternoon with a local rock station here in Chicago. We"re doing an in studio acoustic session and chatting with the host of the afternoon show about our tour and concert tomorrow night.
"Nervous doesn"t even begin to cover it. I"m meeting his mom and dad tomorrow, plus his two brothers. I pray they like me. It would really suck to finally find someone I connect with on such a deep level, and then to have his family disapprove."
Roxie rolls her eyes, and dramatically waves her hands in front of the screen, "Seriously, Brittan. You are always such a Negative Nancy. They are going to love you!"
"Whatever you say. I doubt they want their son settling down with a chick who"s a Rock Star for a living. They probably had hopes he"d settle down with someone who"d want to be a perfect little housewife. Plus it"s not like I can hide my past mistakes from them. Especially since everything has been aired for the world to see."
"Sorry, Brittan. We need to start working on your make-up." Valerie, my make-up artist while in Chicago, says gently tapping me on the shoulder.
I let out a small sigh. Well, we got to chat for a few minutes. Even talking to Roxie for just fifteen minutes has calmed my nerves a little.
"Sorry, Rox. I gotta go. I"ll text you after I"m done so you can see the finished product."
Waving at the screen Roxie gives me an all teeth smile, "Bye girly, and don"t worry everything will be fine!"