"I helped develop the bomb," Forest said. He had a crew cut and dressed in fatigues, and to January he looked more Army than the colonel. Suspiciously he stared back and forth at the two men.
"You"ll vouch for this man"s ident.i.ty on your word as an officer?" he asked Dray.
"Of course," the colonel said stiffly, offended.
"So," Dr. Forest said. "You had some trouble getting it off when you wanted to. Tell me what you saw."
"I saw nothing," January said harshly. He took a deep breath; it was time to commit himself. "I want you to take a message back to the scientists. You folks have been working on this thing for years, and you must have had time to consider how the bomb should have been used. You know we could have convinced the j.a.ps to surrender by showing them a demonstration-"
"Wait a minute," Forest said. "You"re saying you didn"t see anything? There wasn"t a malfunction?"
"That"s right," January said, and cleared his throat. "It wasn"t necessary, do you understand?"
Forest was looking at Colonel Dray. Dray gave him a disgusted shrug. "He told me he saw evidence of sabotage."
"I want you to go back and ask the scientists to intercede for me," January said, raising his voice to get the man"s attention. "I haven"t got a chance in that court-martial. But if the scientists defend me then maybe they"ll let me live, see? I don"t want to get shot for doing something every one of you scientists would have done."
Dr. Forest had backed away. Color rising, he said, "What makes you think that"s what we would have done? Don"t you think we considered it? Don"t you think men better qualified than you made the decision?" He waved a hand. "G.o.d d.a.m.n it-what made you think you were competent to decide something as important as that!"
January was appalled at the man"s reaction; in his plan it had gone differently. Angrily he jabbed a finger at Forest. "Because I was the man doing it, Doctor Forest. You take even one step back from that and suddenly you can pretend it"s not your doing. Fine for you, but I was there."
At every word the man"s color was rising. It looked like he might pop a vein in his neck. January tried once more. "Have you ever tried to imagine what one of your bombs would do to a city full of people?"
"I"ve had enough!" the man exploded. He turned to Dray. "I"m under no obligation to keep what I"ve heard here confidential. You can be sure it will be used as evidence in Captain January"s court-martial." He turned and gave January a look of such blazing hatred that January understood it. For these men to admit he was right would mean admitting that they were wrong-that every one of them was responsible for his part in the construction of the weapon January had refused to use. Understanding that, January knew he was doomed.
The bang of Dr. Forest"s departure still shook the little office. January sat on his cot, got out a smoke. Under Colonel Dray"s cold gaze he lit one shakily, took a drag. He looked up at the colonel, shrugged. "It was my best chance," he explained. That did something-for the first and only time the cold disdain in the colonel"s eyes shifted to a little, hard, lawyerly gleam of respect.
The court-martial lasted two days. The verdict was guilty of disobeying orders in combat and of giving aid and comfort to the enemy. The sentence was death by firing squad.
For most of his remaining days January rarely spoke, drawing ever further behind the mask that had hidden him for so long. A clergyman came to see him, but it was the 509th"s chaplain, the one who had said the prayer blessing the Lucky Strike" s mission before they took off. Angrily January sent him packing.
Later, however, a young Catholic priest dropped by. His name was Patrick Getty. He was a little pudgy man, bespectacled and, it seemed, somewhat afraid of January. January let the man talk to him. When he returned the next day January talked back a bit, and on the day after that he talked some more. It became a habit.
Usually January talked about his childhood. He talked of plowing mucky black bottom land behind a mule. Of running down the lane to the mailbox. Of reading books by the light of the moon after he had been ordered to sleep, and of being beaten by his mother for it with a high-heeled shoe. He told the priest the story of the time his arm had been burnt, and about the car crash at the bottom of Fourth Street. "It"s the truck driver"s face I remember, do you see, Father?"
"Yes," the young priest said. "Yes."
And he told him about the game he had played in which every action he took tipped the balance of world affairs. "When I remembered that game I thought it was dumb. Step on a sidewalk crack and cause an earthquake-you know, it"s stupid. Kids are like that." The priest nodded. "But now I"ve been thinking that if everybody were to live their whole lives like that, thinking that every move they made really was important, then... it might make a difference." He waved a hand vaguely, expelled cigarette smoke. "You"re accountable for what you do."
"Yes," the priest said. "Yes, you are."
"And if you"re given orders to do something wrong, you"re still accountable, right? The orders don"t change it."
"That"s right."
"Hmph." January smoked a while. "So they say, anyway. But look what happens." He waved at the office. "I"m like the guy in a story I read-he thought everything in books was true, and after reading a bunch of westerns he tried to rob a train. They tossed him in jail." He laughed shortly. "Books are full of c.r.a.p."
"Not all of them," the priest said. "Besides, you weren"t trying to rob a train."
They laughed at the notion. "Did you read that story?"
"No."
"It was the strangest book-there were two stories in it, and they alternated chapter by chapter, but they didn"t have a thing to do with each other! I didn"t get it."
"...Maybe the writer was trying to say that everything connects to everything else."
"Maybe. But it"s a funny way to say it."
"I like it."
And so they pa.s.sed the time, talking.
So it was the priest who was the one to come by and tell January that his request for a Presidential pardon had been refused. Getty said awkwardly, "It seems the President approves the sentence."
"That b.a.s.t.a.r.d," January said weakly. He sat on his cot.
Time pa.s.sed. It was another hot, humid day.
"Well," the priest said. "Let me give you some better news. Given your situation I don"t think telling you matters, though I"ve been told not to. The second mission-you know there was a second strike?"
"Yes."
"Well, they missed too."
"What?" January cried, and bounced to his feet. "You"re kidding!"
"No. They flew to Kokura, but found it covered by clouds. It was the same over Nagasaki and Hiroshima, so they flew back to Kokura and tried to drop the bomb using radar to guide it, but apparently there was a-a genuine equipment failure this time, and the bomb fell on an island."
January was hopping up and down, mouth hanging open, "So we n-never-"
"We never dropped an atom bomb on a j.a.panese city. That"s right." Getty grinned. "And get this-I heard this from my superior-they sent a message to the j.a.panese government telling them that the two explosions were warnings, and that if they didn"t surrender by September first we would drop bombs on Kyoto and Tokyo, and then wherever else we had to. Word is that the Emperor went to Hiroshima to survey the damage, and when he saw it he ordered the Cabinet to surrender. So..."
"So it worked," January said. He hopped around, "It worked, it worked!"
"Yes."
"Just like I said it would!" he cried, and hopping before the priest he laughed.
Getty was jumping around a little too, and the sight of the priest bouncing was too much for January. He sat on his cot and laughed till the tears ran down his cheeks.
"So-" he sobered quickly. "So Truman"s going to shoot me anyway, eh?"
"Yes," the priest said unhappily. "I guess that"s right."
This time January"s laugh was bitter. "He"s a b.a.s.t.a.r.d, all right. And proud of being a b.a.s.t.a.r.d, which makes it worse." He shook his head. "If Roosevelt had lived..."
"It would have been different," Getty finished. "Yes. Maybe so. But he didn"t." He sat beside January. "Cigarette?" He held out a pack, and January noticed the white wartime wrapper. He frowned.
"Oh. Sorry."
"Oh well. That"s all right." January took one of the Lucky Strikes, lit up. "That"s awfully good news." He breathed out. "I never believed Truman would pardon me anyway, so mostly you"ve brought good news. Ha. They missed. You have no idea how much better that makes me feel."
"I think I do."
January smoked the cigarette.
"...So I"m a good American after all. I am a good American," he insisted, "no matter what Truman says."
"Yes," Getty replied, and coughed. "You"re better than Truman any day."
"Better watch what you say, Father." He looked into the eyes behind the gla.s.ses, and the expression he saw there gave him pause. Since the drop every look directed at him had been filled with contempt. He"d seen it so often during the court-martial that he"d learned to stop looking; and now he had to teach himself to see again. The priest looked at him as if he were... as if he were some kind of hero. That wasn"t exactly right. But seeing it...
January would not live to see the years that followed, so he would never know what came of his action. He had given up casting his mind forward and imagining possibilities, because there was no point to it. His planning was ended. In any case he would not have been able to imagine the course of the post-war years. That the world would quickly become an armed camp pitched on the edge of atomic war, he might have predicted. But he never would have guessed that so many people would join a January Society. He would never know of the effect the Society had on Dewey during the Korean crisis, never know of the Society"s successful campaign for the test ban treaty, and never learn that thanks in part to the Society and its allies, a treaty would be signed by the great powers that would reduce the number of atomic bombs year by year, until there were none left.
Frank January would never know any of that. But in that moment on his cot looking into the eyes of young Patrick Getty, he guessed an inkling of it-he felt, just for an instant, the impact on history.
And with that he relaxed. In his last week everyone who met him carried away the same impression, that of a calm, quiet man, angry at Truman and others, but in a withdrawn, matter-of-fact way. Patrick Getty, a strong force in the January Society ever after, said January was talkative for some time after he learned of the missed attack on Kokura. Then he became quieter and quieter, as the day approached. On the morning that they woke him at dawn to march him out to a hastily constructed execution shed, his MPs shook his hand. The priest was with him as he smoked a final cigarette, and they prepared to put the hood over his head. January looked at him calmly. "They load one of the guns with a blank cartridge, right?"
"Yes," Getty said.
"So each man in the squad can imagine he may not have shot me?"
"Yes. That"s right."
A tight, unhumorous smile was January"s last expression. He threw down the cigarette, ground it out, poked the priest in the arm. "But I know." Then the mask slipped back into place for good, making the hood redundant, and with a firm step January went to the wall. One might have said he was at peace.
NICHOLAS A. DiCHARIO
A prolific writer of short fiction, Nicholas A. DiChario has published more than two dozen stories in the past decade. His short fiction, some of it written in collaboration with Mike Resnick, has appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Starsh.o.r.e, and Science Fiction Age, and been anthologized in The Ultimate Alien, Universe Three, Witch Fantastic, Christmas Ghosts, and numerous other anthologies. DiChario"s special interest in alternate history is on display in his contributions to Alternate Tyrants, Alternate Warriors, and The Way It Wasn"t. "The Winterberry," which appeared in the anthology Alternate Kennedys, was selected for inclusion in the Writers of the Future series.
THE WINTERBERRY.
Nicholas A. DiChario
MAY, 1971.
It was uncle Teddy who taught me how to read and write. I think it took a long time but I"m not sure. I heard him arguing with Mother about it one night a few years ago when I wasn"t supposed to be out of my room, but I was very excited with the next day being my birthday and I couldn"t sleep.
"He can do it," Uncle Teddy had said.
And Mother said, "He doesn"t care whether he reads or writes. It"s you who cares. Why do you torture yourself? Let him be."
"He"s fifty-four years old," Uncle Teddy said.
"Let him be!" Mother sounded very angry.
I listened to Uncle Teddy walk across the room. "If you feel that way," he said, "why didn"t you just let him die?"
There was a long silence before Mother said, "I don"t know," and another long silence after that.
Something in their voices frightened me so I returned to my room. I became very ill, and for several weeks Dr. Armbruster came to see me every day but he wouldn"t let anyone else come in because he said I was too weak to have visitors.
But sometime after, when I was much better, Uncle Teddy came to visit and he brought a picture book with him which made me remember his talk with Mother. I"m glad Uncle Teddy got his way because now I read and write a lot even though I throw most of my writing away. I hide some of it though and keep it just for myself, and it"s not because I"m being sneaky, it"s more because some of the things I write are my own personal secrets and I don"t want to tell anyone, just like people don"t want to tell me things sometimes when I ask them questions.
DECEMBER, 1977.
I am very excited about Christmas almost being here. I am looking forward to Uncle Teddy"s stay because he always has something fun in mind. Yesterday after he arrived he walked me through the house and showed me all of the decorations-wreaths and flowers and a huge Christmas tree near the front hall, strung with tinsel and candles. He brought with him several boxes full of gifts, all shapes and sizes, wrapped in bright colors-red and green and blue and silver with bows and ribbons-and I knew they were all for me because he put them under my tree upstairs.
Our house is very large. Mother calls it a mansion. She doesn"t allow me to go anywhere except the room on my floor. She says I have everything I need right here.
That"s why sometimes at night I"ll walk around when everything is dark and everyone is asleep or in their rooms for the night. I don"t think I"m being sneaky, it"s just that I am very curious and if I ask about things no one tells me what I want to know. I"ve come to know this house very well. There are many hidden pa.s.sageways behind the walls and I know them all by heart. I will hear things every once in a while that mother would not like me to hear.
There was a big happening in the house last night and the servants were very busy, although it did not look to be a planned thing because everyone appeared disorganized and Mother didn"t come to lock me in my room.
I went through one of my pa.s.sageways that led to the main entrance of the house and I peeked through a tiny opening in the wall and saw a very beautiful woman with dark hair standing inside the door. She was so beautiful that I held my breath. It must have been very cold outside because she was wearing a long black winter coat and there were flakes of snow on her hair. When she spoke, it was the most soft and delicate voice I had ever heard. She said, "Merry Christmas."
I wanted to stay and watch the woman forever but I knew that Mother would be up to check on me so I ran back to my room and pretended to be asleep. Mother came in and kissed my head and said, "Sleep well, child," like she did every night. I listened very closely for a long time hoping to hear the voice of the woman again, but next thing I knew it was morning, and she was gone.
OCTOBER, 1982.
I heard Mother and Dr. Armbruster arguing yesterday. They were just talking pleasantly for a while and I was listening in my pa.s.sageway to the low, pleasant sound of their voices. The doctor was saying things I did not understand about sickness and diets and so on, when all of a sudden he said, "But John is doing fine," and Mother just about exploded with anger.
"His name is not John, do you understand me? Don"t you ever call him by that name again! John is dead! My John is dead!" I had never heard Mother get so angry except for that one time with Uncle Teddy. She made the doctor leave right away and told him he could be replaced, but I hoped that she wouldn"t do that because I sort of liked Dr. Armbruster.