He collapsed on the doorstep and seized the bottle Tommy offered him. The cloying wine poured down his throat; bile rose to meet it, but he choked them down. As the wind bl.u.s.tered at his chest it seemed to kindle the wine in him. There was no pregnant corpse in the settling dust, no room thick with dim light, no crackling head. He tilted his head back, gulping.
Tommy was trying to wrest the bottle from him. The neck tapped viciously against Dutton"s teeth, but he held it between his lips and thrust his tongue up to hurry the last drops; then he hurled the bottle into the gutter, where it smashed, echoing between the blank houses. As he threw it, a police car entered the road.
Dutton sat inert while the policemen strolled towards him. Tommy was levering himself away rapidly, crutch thumping. Dutton knew one of the policemen: Constable Wayne. "We can"t pretend we didn"t see that, Billy," Wayne told him. "Be a good boy and you"ll be out in the morning."
The wine smudged the world around Dutton for a while. The cell wall was a screen on which he could put pictures to the sounds of the police station: footsteps, shouts, telephones, spoons rattling in mugs. His eyes were coaxing the graffiti from beneath the new paint when, distant but clear, he heard a voice say "What about Billy Dutton?"
"Him knock an old woman"s head in?" Wayne"s voice said. "I don"t reckon he could do that, even sober. Besides, I brought him in around the time of death. He wasn"t capable of handling a bottle, let alone a murder."
Later a young policeman brought Dutton a mug of tea and some ageing cheese sandwiches wrapped in greaseproof paper, then stood frowning with mingled disapproval and embarra.s.sment while Dutton was sick. Yet though Dutton lay rocking with nausea for most of the night, though frequently he stood up and roamed unsteadily about the cell and felt as if his nausea was sinking deep within him like dregs, always he could hear Wayne"s words. The words freed him of guilt. He had risked, and lost, and that was all. When he left the cell he could return to his old life. He would buy a bottle and celebrate with Tommy, Maud, even old Frank.
He could hear an odd sound far out in the night, separate from the musings of the city, the barking dogs, the foghorns on the Mersey. He propped himself on one elbow to listen. Now that it was coming closer he could make it out: a sound like an interrupted metal yawn. It was groaning towards him; it was beside him. He awoke shouting and saw Wayne opening his cell. It must have been the hinges of the door.
"It"s about time you saw someone who can help you," Wayne said.
Perhaps he was threatening to give Dutton"s address to a social worker or someone like that. Let him, Dutton thought. They couldn"t force their way into his room so long as he didn"t do wrong. He was sure that was true, it must be.
Three doors away from the police station was a pub, a Wine Lodge. They must have let him sleep while he could; the Wine Lodge was already open. Dutton bought a bottle and crossed to the opposite pavement, which was the edge of the derelict area towards which he"d pursued the old woman. The dull sunlight seemed to seep out of the ruined walls. Dutton trudged over the orange mud, past stagnant puddles in the shape of footprints; water welled up around his shoes, the mud sucked them loudly. As soon as there were walls between him and the police station he unstoppered the bottle and drank. He felt like a flower opening to the sun. Still walking, he hadn"t lowered the bottle when he caught sight of old Frank sitting on the step of a derelict house.
"Here"s Billy," Frank shouted, and the others appeared in the empty window. At the edge of the waste land a police car was roving; that must be why they had taken refuge.
They came forward as best they could to welcome him. "You won"t be wanting to go home tonight," Maud said.
"Why not?" In fact there was no reason why he shouldn"t know-he could have told them what he"d overheard Wayne discussing-but he wouldn"t take the risk. They were ready to suspect anyone, these people; you couldn"t trust them.
"Someone did for that old woman," Frank said. "The one in the room below you. Bashed her head in and took her pram."
Dutton"s throat closed involuntarily; wine welled up from his lips, around the neck of the bottle. "Took her pram?" he coughed, weeping. "Are you sure?"
"Sure as I was standing outside when they carried her out. The police knew her, you know, her and her pram. They used to look in to make sure she was all right. She wouldn"t have left her pram anywhere, they said. Someone took it."
"So you won"t be wanting to go home tonight. You can warm my bed if you like," Maud said toothlessly, lips wrinkling.
"What would anyone want to kill her for?" Betty said, dragging her grey hair over the scarred side of her face. "She hadn"t got anything."
"She had once. She was rich. She bought something with all that," Maud said.
"Don"t care. She didn"t have anything worth killing her for. Did she, Billy?"
"No," Dutton said, and stumbled hurriedly on: "There wasn"t anything in that pram. I know. I looked in it once when she was going in her room. She was poorer than us."
"Unless she was a witch," Maud said.
Dutton shook the bottle to quicken the liquor. In a moment it would take hold of him completely, he"d be floating on it, Maud"s words would drift by like flotsam on a warm sea. "What?" he said. "Unless she was a witch. Then she could have given everything she owned, and her soul as well, to that man they never found, and still have had something for it that n.o.body could see, or wouldn"t understand if they did see." She panted, having managed her speech, and drank.
"That woman was a witch right enough," Tommy said, challenging the splintered floor with his crutch. "I used to go by there at night and hear her singing to herself. There was something not right there."
"I sing," Frank said, standing up menacingly, and did so: "Rock of Ages." "Am I a witch, eh? Am I a witch?"
"They weren"t hymns she was singing, I"ll be bound. If I hadn"t seen her in the street I"d have said she was a darkey. Jungle music, it was. Mumbo-jumbo."
"She was singing to her baby," Dutton said loosely.
"She didn"t have a baby, Billy," Maud said. "Only a pram."
"She was going to have one."
"You"re the man who should know, are you?" Frank demanded. "She could have fooled me. She was flat as a pancake when they carried her out. Flat as a pancake."
Dutton stared at Frank for as long as he could, before he had to look away from the deformed strawberry of the man"s nose. He seemed to be telling the truth. Two memories were circling Dutton, trying to perch on his thoughts: a little girl who"d been peering in the old woman"s window one day, suddenly running away and calling back-inappropriately, it had seemed at the time-"Fat cow"; the corpse on the dusty floor, indisputably pregnant even in the dim light. "Flat as a pancake," Frank repeated.
Dutton was still struggling to understand when Maud said "What"s that?"
Dutton could hear nothing but the rushing of his blood. "Sounds like a car" Betty said.
"Too small for a car. Needs oiling, whatever it is."
What were they talking about? Why were they talking about things he couldn"t understand, that he couldn"t even hear, that disturbed him? "What?" Dutton yelled.
They all stared at him, focusing elaborately, and Tommy thumped his crutch angrily. "It"s gone now," Maud said at last.
There was a silence until Betty said sleepily "If she was a witch where was her familiar?"
"Her what?" Dutton said, as the bottle blurred and dissolved above his eyes. She didn"t know what she was talking about. Nor did he, he shouted at himself. Nor did he.
"Her familiar. A kind of, you know, creature that would do things for her. Bring her food, that kind of thing. A cat, or something. She hadn"t anything like that. She wouldn"t have been able to hide it."
Nowhere to hide it, Dutton thought. In her pram-but her pram had been empty. The top of his head was rising, floating away; it didn"t matter. Betty"s hand wobbled at the edge of his vision, spilling wine towards him. He grabbed the bottle as her eyes closed. He tried to drink but couldn"t find his mouth. Somehow he managed to stopper the bottle with his finger, and a moment later was asleep.
When he awoke he was alone in the dark.
Among the bricks that were bruising his chest was the bottle, still glued to his finger. He clambered to his feet, deafened by the clattering of bricks, and dug the bottle into his pocket for safety, finger and all. He groped his way out of the house, sniffing, searching vainly for his handkerchief. A wall reeled back from him and he fell, sc.r.a.ping his shoulder. Eventually he reached the doorway.
Night had fallen. Amid the mutter of the city, fireworks were already sputtering; distant chimneys sprang up momentarily against a spray of white fire. Far ahead, between the tipsily shifting walls, the lights of the shops blinked faintly at Dutton. He took a draught to fend off the icy plucking of the wind, then he stuffed the bottle in his pocket and made for the lights.
The mud was lying in wait for him. It swallowed his feet with an approving sound. It poured into his shoes, seeping into the plastic bags. It squeezed out from beneath unsteady paving-stones, where there were any. He snarled at it and stamped, sending it over his trouser cuffs. It stretched glistening faintly before him as far as he could see.
Cars were taking a short cut from the main road, past the shops. Dutton stood and waited for their lights to sweep over the mud, lighting up his way. He emptied the bottle into himself. Headlights swung towards him, blazing abruptly in puddles, pinching up silver edges of ruts from the darkness, touching a small still dark object between the walls to Dutton"s left.
He glared towards that, through the pale fading firework display on his eyeb.a.l.l.s. It had been low and squat, he was sure; part of it had been raised, like a hood. Suddenly he recoiled from the restless darkness and began to run wildly. He fell with a flat splash and heaved himself up, his hands gloved in grit and mud. He stumbled towards the swaying lights and glared about whenever headlights flashed between the walls. Around him the walls seemed as unstable as the ground.
He was close enough to the shops for the individual sounds of the street to have separated themselves from the muted anonymous roar of the city, when he fell again. He fell into darkness behind walls, and scrabbled in the mud, slithering grittily. When he regained his feet he peered desperately about, trying to hold things still. The lights of the street, sinking, leaping back into place and sinking, sinking; the walls around him, wavering and drooping; a dwarfish fragment of wall close to him, on his left. Headlights slipped past him and corrected him. It wasn"t a fragment of wall. It was a pram.
In that moment of frozen clarity he could see the twin clawmarks its wheels had scored in the mud, reaching back into darkness. Then the darkness rushed at him as his ankles tangled and he lost his footing. He was reeling helplessly towards the pram.
A second before he reached it he lashed out blindly with one foot. He tottered in a socket of mud, but he felt his foot strike metal, and heard the pram fall. He whirled about, running towards the whirling lights, changing his direction when they steadied. The next time headlights pa.s.sed him he twisted about to look. The force of his movement spun him back again and on, towards the lights. But he was sure he"d seen the pram upturned in the mud, and shaking like a turtle trying to right itself.
Once among the shops he felt safe. This was his territory. People were hurrying home from work, children were running errands; cars laden with packages b.u.t.ted their way towards the suburbs, honking. He"d stay here, where there were people; he wouldn"t go home to his room.
He began to stroll, rolling unsteadily. He gazed in the shop windows, whose contents sank like a loose television image. When he reached a launderette he halted, frowning, and couldn"t understand why. Was it something he"d heard? Yes, there was a sound somewhere amid the impatient clamour of the traffic: a yawn of metal cut short by a high squeal. It was something like that, not entirely, not the sound he remembered, only the sound of a car. Within the launderette things whirled, whirled; so did the launderette; so did the pavement. Dutton forced himself onward, cursing as he almost fell over a child. He shoved the child aside and collided with a pram.
Bulging out from beneath its hood was a swollen faceless head of blue plastic. Folds of its wrinkled wormlike body squeezed over the side of the pram; within the blue transparent body he could see white coils and rolls of washing, like tripe. Dutton thrust it away, choking. The woman wheeling it aimed a blow at him and pushed the pram into the launderette.
He ran helplessly forward, trying to retrieve his balance. Mud trickled through the burst plastic in his shoes and grated between his toes. He fell, slapping the pavement with himself. When someone tried to help him up he snarled and rolled out of their reach. He was cold and wet. His coat had soaked up all the water his falls had squeezed out of the mud. He couldn"t go home, couldn"t warm himself in bed; he had to stay here, out on the street. His mouth tasted like an abandoned bottle. He glared about, roaring at anyone who came near. Then, over the jerking segments of the line of car roofs, he saw Maud hurrying down a side street, carrying a bottle wrapped in newspaper.
That was what he needed. A ball of fire sprang up spinning and whooping above the roofs. Dutton surged towards the pedestrian crossing, whose two green stick-figures were squeaking at each other across the path through the cars. He was almost there when a pram rushed at him from an alley.
He grappled with it, hurling it from him. It was only a pram, never mind, he must catch up with Maud. But a white featureless head nodded towards him on a scrawny neck, craning out from beneath the hood; a head that slipped awry, rolling loose on its neck, as the strings that tied it came unknotted. It was only a guy begging pennies for cut-price fireworks. Before he realised that, Dutton had overbalanced away from it into the road, in front of a released car.
There was a howl of brakes, another, a tinkle of gla.s.s. Dutton found himself staring up from beneath a front b.u.mper. Wheels blocked his vision on either side, like huge oppressive earm.u.f.fs. People were shouting at each other, someone was shouting at him, the crowd was chattering, laughing. When someone tried to help him to his feet he kicked out and clung to the b.u.mper. Nothing could touch him now, he was safe, they wouldn"t dare to. Eventually someone took hold of his arm and wouldn"t let go until he stood up. It was Constable Wayne.
"Come on, Billy," Wayne said. "That"s enough for today. Go home."
"I won"t go home!" Dutton cried in panic.
"Do you mean to tell me you"re sending him home and that"s all?" a woman shouted above the clamour of her jacketed Pekinese. "What about my headlight?"
"I"ll deal with him," Wayne said. "My colleague will take your statements. Don"t give me any trouble, Billy," he said, taking a firmer hold on Dutton"s arm.
Dutton found himself being marched along the street, towards his room. "I"m not going home," he shouted.
"You are, and I"ll see that you do." A fire engine was elbowing its way through the traffic, braying. In the middle of a side street, between walls that quaked with the light of a huge bonfire, children were stoning firemen.
"I won"t," Dutton said, pleading. "If you make me I"ll get out again. I"ve drunk too much. I"ll do something bad, I"ll hurt someone."
"You aren"t one of those. Go home now and sleep it off. You know we"ve no room for you on Sat.u.r.day nights. And tonight of all nights we don"t want to be bothered with you."
They had almost reached the house. Wayne gazed up at the dormant bonfire on the waste ground. "We"ll have to see about that," he said. But Dutton hardly heard him. As the house swayed towards him, a rocket exploded low and s.n.a.t.c.hed the house forward for a moment from the darkness. In the old woman"s room, at the bottom of the windowpane, he saw a metal bar: the handle of a pram.
Dutton began to struggle again. "I"m not going in there!" he shouted, searching his mind wildly for anything. "I killed that old woman! I knocked her head in, it was me!"
"That"s enough of that, now," Wayne said, dragging him up the steps. "You"re lucky I can see you"re drunk."
Dutton clenched the front door-frame with both hands. "There"s something in there!" he screamed. "In her room!"
"There"s nothing at all," Wayne said. "Come here and I"ll show you." He propelled Dutton into the hall and, switching on his torch, pushed open the old woman"s door with his foot. "Now, what"s in here?" he demanded. "Nothing."
Dutton looked in, ready to flinch. The torch-beam swept impatiently about the room, revealing nothing but dust. The bed had been pushed beneath the window during the police search. Its headrail was visible through the pane: a metal bar.
Dutton sagged with relief. Only Wayne"s grip kept him from falling. He turned as Wayne hurried him towards the stairs, and saw the mouth of darkness just below the landing. It was waiting for him, its lips working. He tried to pull back, but Wayne was becoming more impatient. "See me upstairs," Dutton pleaded.
"Oh, it"s the horrors, is it? Come on now, quickly." Wayne stayed where he was, but shone his torch into the mouth, which paled. Dutton stumbled upstairs as far as the lips, which flickered tentatively towards him. He heard the constable clatter up behind him, and the darkness fell back further. Before him, sharp and bright amid the darkness, was his door.
"Switch on your light, be quick," Wayne said.
The room was exactly as Dutton had left it. And why not? he thought, confident all at once. He never locked it, there was nothing to steal, but now the familiarity of everything seemed welcoming: the rumpled bed; the wardrobe, rusted open and plainly empty; the washbasin; the grimy coinmeter. "All right," he called down to Wayne, and bolted the door. He stood for a long time against the door while his head swam slowly back to him. The wind reached for him through the wide-open window. He couldn"t remember having opened it so wide, but it didn"t matter. Once he was steady he would close it, then he"d go to bed. The blankets were raised like a cowl at the pillow, waiting for him. He heard Constable Wayne walk away. Eventually he heard the children light the bonfire.
When blackening tatters of fire began to flutter towards the house he limped to close the window. The bonfire was roaring; the heat collided with him. He remembered with a shock of pleasure that the iron bar was deep in the blaze. He sniffed and groped vainly for his handkerchief as the smoke stung his nostrils. Never mind. He squinted at the black object at the peak of the bonfire, which the flames had just reached. Then he fell back involuntarily. It was the pram.
He slammed the window. Bright orange faces glanced up at him, then turned away. There was no mistaking the pram, for he saw the photograph within the hood strain with the heat, and shatter. He tested his feelings gingerly and realised he could release the thoughts he"d held back, at last. The pursuit was over. It had given up. And suddenly he knew why.
It had been the old woman"s familiar. He"d known that as soon as Betty had mentioned the idea, but he hadn"t dared think in case it heard him thinking; devils could do that. The old woman had taken it out in her pram, and it had stolen food for her. But it hadn"t lived in the pram. It had lived inside the old woman. That was what he"d seen in her room, only it had got out before the police had found the body.
He switched off the light. The room stayed almost as bright, from the blaze. He fumbled with his b.u.t.tons and removed his outer clothes. The walls shook; his mouth was beginning to taste like dregs again. It didn"t matter. If he couldn"t sleep he could go out and buy a bottle. Tomorrow he could cash his book. He needn"t be afraid to go out now.
It must have thrown itself on the bonfire because devils lived in fire. It must have realised at last that he wasn"t like the old woman, that it couldn"t live inside him. He stumbled towards the bed. A shadow was moving on the pillow. He baulked, then he saw it was the shadow of the blanket"s cowl. He pulled the blanket back.
He had just realised how like the hood of a pram the shape of the blanket had been when the long spidery arms unfolded from the bed, and the powerful claws reached eagerly to part him.
The Companion (1976).
When Stone reached the fairground, having been misdirected twice, he thought it looked more like a gigantic amus.e.m.e.nt arcade. A couple of paper cups tumbled and rattled on the sh.o.r.e beneath the promenade, and the cold insinuating October wind scooped the Mersey across the slabs of red rock that formed the beach, across the broken bottles and abandoned tyres. Beneath the stubby white mock turrets of the long fairground facade, the shops displayed souvenirs and fish and chips. Among them, in the fairground entrances, sc.r.a.ps of paper whirled.
Stone almost walked away. This wasn"t his best holiday. One fairground in Wales had been closed, and this one certainly wasn"t what he"d expected. The guidebook had made it sound like a genuine fairground, sideshows you must stride among not looking in case their barkers lured you in, the sudden shock of waterfalls cascading down what looked like painted cardboard, the shots and bells and wooden concussions of target galleries, the girls" shrieks overhead, the slippery armour and juicy crunch of toffee-apples, the illuminations springing alight against a darkening sky. But at least, he thought, he had chosen his time well. If he went in now he might have the fairground almost to himself.
As he reached an entrance, he saw his mother eating fish and chips from a paper tray. What nonsense! She would never have eaten standing up in public-"like a horse," as she"d used to say. But he watched as she hurried out of the shop, face averted from him and the wind. Of course, it had been the way she ate, with little s.n.a.t.c.hing motions of her fork and mouth. He pushed the incident to the side of his mind in the hope that it would fall away, and hurried through the entrance, into the clamour of colour and noise.
The high roof with its bare iron girders reminded him at once of a railway station, but the place was noisier still. The uproar-the echoing sirens and jets and dangerous groaning of metal-" trapped, and was deafening. It was so overwhelming that he had to remind himself he could see, even if he couldn"t hear. But there wasn"t much to see. The machines looked faded and dusty. Cars like huge armchairs were lurching and spinning helplessly along a switchback, a canvas canopy was closing over an endless parade of seats, a great disc ta.s.selled with seats was lifting towards the roof, dangling a lone couple over its gears. With so few people in sight it seemed almost that the machines, frustrated by inaction, were operating themselves. For a moment Stone had the impression of being shut in a dusty room where the toys, as in childhood tales, had come to life.
He shrugged vaguely and turned to leave. Perhaps he could drive to the fairground at Southport, though it was a good few miles across the Mersey. His holiday was dwindling rapidly. He wondered how they were managing at the tax office in his absence. Slower as usual, no doubt.
Then he saw the roundabout. It was like a toy forgotten by another child and left here, or handed down the generations. Beneath its ornate scrolled canopy the horses rode on poles towards their reflections in a ring of mirrors. The horses were white wood or wood painted white, their bodies dappled with purple, red, and green, and some of their sketched faces too. On the hub, above a notice made in Amsterdam, an organ piped to itself. Around it Stone saw carved fish, mermen, zephyrs, a head and shoulders smoking a pipe in a frame, a landscape of hills and lake and unfurling perched hawk. "Oh yes," Stone said.
As he clambered onto the platform he felt a hint of embarra.s.sment, but n.o.body seemed to be watching. "Can you pay me," said the head in the frame. "My boy"s gone for a minute."
The man"s hair was the colour of the smoke from his pipe. His lips puckered on the stem and smiled. "It"s a good roundabout," Stone said.
"You know about them, do you?"
"Well, a little." The man looked disappointed, and Stone hurried on. "I know a lot of fairgrounds. They"re my holiday, you see, every year. Each year I cover a different area. I may write a book." The idea had occasionally tempted him-but he hadn"t taken notes, and he still had ten years to retirement, for which the book had suggested itself as an activity.
"You go alone every year?"
"It has its merits. Less expensive, for one thing. Helps me save. Before I retire I mean to see Disneyland and Vienna." He thought of the Big Wheel, Harry Lime, the earth falling away beneath. "I"ll get on," he said.
He patted the unyielding shoulders of the horse, and remembered a childhood friend who"d had a rocking horse in his bedroom. Stone had ridden it a few times, more and more wildly when it was nearly time to go home; his friend"s bedroom was brighter than his, and as he clung to the wooden shoulders he was clutching the friendly room too. Funny thinking of that now, he thought. Because I haven"t been on a roundabout for years, I suppose.
The roundabout stirred; the horse lifted him, let him sink. As they moved forward, slowly gathering momentum, Stone saw a crowd surging through one of the entrances and spreading through the funfair. He grimaced: it had been his fairground for a little while, they needn"t have arrived just as he was enjoying his roundabout.
The crowd swung away. A jangle of pinball machines sailed by. Amid the Dodgems a giant with a barrel body was spinning, flapping its limp arms, a red electric cigar thrust in its blank grin and throbbing in time with its slow thick laughter. A tinny voice read Bingo numbers, buzzing indistinctly. Perhaps it was because he hadn"t eaten for a while, saving himself for the toffeeapples, but he was growing dizzy-it felt like the whirling blurred shot of the fair in Sat.u.r.day Night and Sunday Morning, a fair he hadn"t liked because it was too grim. Give him Strangers on a Train, Some Came Running, The Third Man, even the fairground murder in Horrors of the Black Museum. He shook his head to try to control his pouring thoughts.
But the fair was spinning faster. The Ghost Train"s station raced by, howling and screaming. People strolling past the roundabout looked jerky as drawings in a thaumatrope. Here came the Ghost Train once more, and Stone glimpsed the queue beneath the beckoning green corpse. They were staring at him. No, he realised next time round, they were staring at the roundabout. He was just something that kept appearing as they watched. At the end of the queue, staring and poking around inside his nostrils, stood Stone"s father.