DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. YOU sent me for a rope"s end as soon- You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. I Will debate this matter at more leisure, And teach your ears to list me with more heed.
To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight; Give her this key, and tell her in the desk That"s cover"d o"er with Turkish tapestry There is a purse of ducats; let her send it.
Tell her I am arrested in the street, And that shall bail me; hie thee, slave, be gone.
On, officer, to prison till it come.
She is too big, I hope, for me to compa.s.s.
Thither I must, although against my will, For servants must their masters" minds fulfil.
SCENE 2
The house of ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA
ADRIANA. Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so?
Might"st thou perceive austerely in his eye That he did plead in earnest? Yea or no?
Look"d he or red or pale, or sad or merrily?
What observation mad"st thou in this case Of his heart"s meteors tilting in his face?
LUCIANA. First he denied you had in him no right.
ADRIANA. He meant he did me none-the more my spite.
LUCIANA. Then swore he that he was a stranger here.
ADRIANA. And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were.
LUCIANA. Then pleaded I for you.
ADRIANA. And what said he?
LUCIANA. That love I begg"d for you he begg"d of me.
ADRIANA. With what persuasion did he tempt thy love?
LUCIANA. With words that in an honest suit might move.
First he did praise my beauty, then my speech.
ADRIANA. Didst speak him fair?
LUCIANA. Have patience, I beseech.
ADRIANA. I cannot, nor I will not hold me still; My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will.
He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere, Ill-fac"d, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere; Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
LUCIANA. Who would be jealous then of such a one?
No evil lost is wail"d when it is gone.
ADRIANA. Ah, but I think him better than I say, And yet would herein others" eyes were worse.
Far from her nest the lapwing cries away; My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse.
Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Here go-the desk, the purse. Sweet now, make haste.
LUCIANA. How hast thou lost thy breath?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. By running fast.
ADRIANA. Where is thy master, Dromio? Is he well?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. No, he"s in Tartar limbo, worse than h.e.l.l.
A devil in an everlasting garment hath him; One whose hard heart is b.u.t.ton"d up with steel; A fiend, a fairy, pitiless and rough; A wolf, nay worse, a fellow all in buff; A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that countermands The pa.s.sages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands; A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dry-foot well; One that, before the Judgment, carries poor souls to h.e.l.l.
ADRIANA. Why, man, what is the matter?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. I do not know the matter; he is rested on the case.
ADRIANA. What, is he arrested? Tell me, at whose suit?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. I know not at whose suit he is arrested well; But he"s in a suit of buff which "rested him, that can I tell.
Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in his desk?
ADRIANA. Go fetch it, sister. [Exit LUCIANA] This I wonder at: Thus he unknown to me should be in debt.
Tell me, was he arrested on a band?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. on a band, but on a stronger thing, A chain, a chain. Do you not hear it ring?
ADRIANA. What, the chain?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. No, no, the bell; "tis time that I were gone.
It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one.
ADRIANA. The hours come back! That did I never hear.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. O yes. If any hour meet a sergeant, "a turns back for very fear.
ADRIANA. As if Time were in debt! How fondly dost thou reason!
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he"s worth to season.
Nay, he"s a thief too: have you not heard men say That Time comes stealing on by night and day?
If "a be in debt and theft, and a sergeant in the way, Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day?
Re-enter LUCIANA with a purse
ADRIANA. Go, Dromio, there"s the money; bear it straight, And bring thy master home immediately.
Come, sister; I am press"d down with conceit- Conceit, my comfort and my injury.
SCENE 3
The mart
Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. There"s not a man I meet but doth salute me As if I were their well-acquainted friend; And every one doth call me by my name.
Some tender money to me, some invite me, Some other give me thanks for kindnesses, Some offer me commodities to buy; Even now a tailor call"d me in his shop, And show"d me silks that he had bought for me, And therewithal took measure of my body.
Sure, these are but imaginary wiles, And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.
Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Master, here"s the gold you sent me for. What, have you got the picture of old Adam new-apparell"d?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Not that Adam that kept the Paradise, but that Adam that keeps the prison; he that goes in the calf"s skin that was kill"d for the Prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. I understand thee not.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. No? Why, "tis a plain case: he that went, like a ba.s.s-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob, and rest them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and give them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a morris-pike.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. What, thou mean"st an officer?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; that brings any man to answer it that breaks his band; on that thinks a man always going to bed, and says "G.o.d give you good rest!"
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? May we be gone?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the bark Expedition put forth to-night; and then were you hind"red by the sergeant, to tarry for the boy Delay. Here are the angels that you sent for to deliver you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. The fellow is distract, and so am I; And here we wander in illusions.
Some blessed power deliver us from hence!
Enter a COURTEZAN
COURTEZAN. Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.