Chapter 5
“Ring——”
“Ring——”
……
The telephone on the desk kept ringing. Yet, Wei Cai only kept looking at the flashing phone light without any means to answer the phone.
Everyone else in the office was attending the fellowship dance at the tenth floor. While on their leave, guarding the office drudgery is, taken for granted, pushed onto him; the section chief——
But he had no slightest feeling of regret——
Since the last holiday break, Li Jia De had been calling him continuously for who knows how many times; each time asking nothing more than to meet up.
While he himself had to work hard non-stopped in thinking up excuses to reject him, it had causing his feelings to be extremely sad. Now he really had no mood to play.
If it were not for these two days which Li Jia De, because of case relations, had to go to Hong Kong for a business trip, Wei Cai was afraid that Li Jia De will come to the procuratorate to find him ——thinking of this fact, Wei Cai felt glad.
But……
Even if the real being is not here, calling non-stop is enough to cause troubles —— like this morning, he had already called as many as three times. It is hard for him to think of variety ways to dodge. Needless to say, now the phone ringing is certainly him calling.
Taking a look at the empty office, he composed a smile, picked up the phone, and with the sound of hanging up “Ka Deng1”—— the disturbing ring finally stopped—— he let out a sigh of relief.
But that silence did not last one minute. The phone immediately started ringing again.
He was about to do the same thing again but the director walked through the door.
“Xiao Cai ah, how come you didn’t answer the phone?” Director looked at him strangely.
Wei Cai couldn’t control his emotions and blushed. He had to pick up the phone,
“Wei2——”
“Cai, why did you hang up the call?” The other side of the line was really Li Jia De’s physically and mentally exhausted voice. This situation is also making his life difficult. His work is already busy and yet he had to take urgent tactics to pursue someone——
Unfortunately, Wei Cai is not a seventeen-years old girl, these tactics used on him are really wasted.
“Because there’s nothing more to say…” Wei Cai was a very strict and self-disciplined person from the beginning. Since the last time, he determined to not meet Li Jia De ever again, he had forced himself to be strictly enforced and held himself back.
Li Jia De, although stronger than ordinary toughness, but when facing the defence that cannot get water poured into it3, he really do not know what to do.
“Just one more time…” Li Jia De"s voice was almost pleading. Wei Cai hardened his heart—— since he wants to kill a dog, then why feed him bones. He tried to make his voice sound a bit cold in the phone “You don’t need to say anything anymore. I’ll never meet you again.”
Not waiting for Li Jia De to respond from the other end, he already hung up the phone.
He looked up and, sure enough, saw the Director looking at his face with a strange expression.
“Xiao Wei ah, is it your girlfriend? Why are you so fierce to people ah?” Director asked him while smiling.
Wei Cai firmly shaking his head and changed the topic, “Director, why did you leave the dance so early? Don’t want to play for a while longer?”
Seeing Wei Cai’s expression is not too good, the Director felt embarra.s.sed to continue asking.
He just followed the thread of discussion and answered, “Ah, it’s all young people’s program—— I might as well skip and come down to see files as soon as possible……”
Laughing with Wei Cai, both of them knew that subordinates will not enjoy to their hearts’ content in leaders’ presence——it is still tactful to avoid for good.
After chatting with Director and sending him off, Wei Cai looked at the time. It was almost the end of working hours. He tidied up his things and went downstairs.
Exiting the elevator to the lobby, he saw a familiar figure standing in front of the gate from far away. Exquisite tailoring suits, tall figure – who actually should still be in Hong Kong, Li Jia De.
Then… this afternoon phone call…
A bit furious about his trick, Wei Cai quickly pressed and held the elevator b.u.t.ton, ready to return back to the office.
After the fireworks entertainment, because Wei Cai rejected to take his calls, Li Jia De had to wait at the office gate several times but all his attempts were avoided by Wei Cai’s sharp eyes.
Later, because he had to travel to Hong Kong for work which let Wei Cai has peace and quiet for a while—— who would have thought that he was back and resorting to this trick again…
Irritating to death…
G.o.d… he himself is not a woman——why does he have to be chased by such a big man?
Wei Cai felt powerless and leaned against the elevator wall. His head is starting to ache.
This is war…the one who persist till the end will win!
Li Jia De’s persistence will not last that long—— All these pampered sons of wealthy families…whatever they are after with fresh enthusiasm, they will soon get tired of this pursuing game——If it was really the case, then the one left with a heartbreak in the end will be himself.
Continuously telling himself, Wei Cai forced himself to stop thinking about Li Jia De. He does not want to think of anything related to him…
As long as he persists on not meeting, it will be fine.
It will be fine…
Like a spirit hunting, he continuously told himself. Wei Cai knew that only by this way, he can get through this period.
A man’s tendency to forget is great—— One day, Li Jia De will think about this matter again and for sure he won’t be able to help but laugh at the present him——how did he fall in love with this old man, and spent so much effort….
Leaning against the large office window and looking at the person who seems to be standing still like a statue, Wei Cai thought almost m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.tically.
Better continue looking at the doc.u.ments ba……. Don’t know for how long he has stayed, the sky has already turned black. Wei Cai put down the file in his hand. He rubbed his sore eyes and stood beside the window again——
The person standing in front of the gate has disappeared. The opposite road is empty, not a single trace of person can be seen—— Wei Cai temporarily felt as if his heart suddenly has an empty hole.
What am I thinking—— Laughing at himself, Wei Cai picked up his briefcase again to go downstairs. He walked towards the direction of the dormitory—— Under the street light, Wei Cai’s shadow was long with an undefinable lonely connotation.
Entering the compound, Wei Cai extended his hand to find the key—— The shadow in front of his eyes suddenly became more than one. He looked on reflex, was greeted by Li Jia De’s pair of eyes that implicate complexity.
“Finally, we meet again”. His voice had a sense of relief.
He leaned in to look, only to find Li Jia De looking very haggard; as though he had not slept for a long time.
Wei Cai couldn’t help but took a step back. Unconsciously he look at the surroundings—— now is 8’o clock in the evening. It was the time where youngsters went out and played so the compound was full of people.
Seriously fear that with Li Jia De, it will be a joke in here, Wei Cai quickly said, “Let’s find a place to sit down and talk ba!”
Li Jia De seemed tired so he also does not want to debate anymore and just nodded his head. Both of them went out together.
After randomly finding a tea house to sit down and ordering the beverage, they did not know what to say for the moment. The atmosphere seemed stiff and awkward.
Finally, Li Jia De broke the silence “Recently…. were you okay?”
Nodding his head, Wei Cai knew this isn’t what he wanted to ask.
Sure enough, Li Jia De is not the type to beat around the bush. He finally spoke out the real question, “Why are you avoiding me?”
Wei Cai, even though he was prepared, still felt it was very difficult to answer. He hesitated for a long time and finally spoke, “We…if we’re to meet again… it’ll be not good for everyone…”
“What is not good for everyone?” Li Jia De frowned his brows, “Don’t beat around the bush. I just asked you a question, do you…… hate me?”
Wei Cai was silent——To be honest, if he hated Li Jia De, how could he have spent so many days interacting with him?
Maybe… although he is reluctant to admit it… he knew deep in his heart that he loves Li Jia De—— love the feeling of being together with him…
However, if it is like this, he was afraid that he won’t be able to get rid of Li Jia De’s pestering in this lifetime.
Wei Cai forced his heart to be tough and said “I can only accept being normal friends with you. If you still want to further a step… it’s better if we don’t meet again….”
……..
Again it’s an awkward silence.
“Why?” Li Jia De finally voiced out, “Why must you reject your real feelings? I can feel that you obviously have feelings for me too—— Why do you have to lie to yourself? Why can’t you admit that you love me?”
Wei Cai was a bit insulted. What rights does he have to say this—— he has an unyielding background, has money that cannot be finished spending in this lifetime, can be free, is able to love anyone.
Yet Wei Cai is only a small-time lawyer. All he need is one scandal to send him to hard struggle—— what rights does he have to be so selfish, forcing him to confront the feeling that he is unwilling to face?
“What feeling?” His heart in anger, he spoke bluntly, “What is called feeling? Feelings can be changed—— I’m not like you. I don’t have a good father. I don’t have some capitals to be sacrificed for feelings.”
Li Jia De’s eyes flashed. He was not angry. On the contrary, he laughed, “So—— you have feelings for me too?”
Shocked to find himself in the trap that Li Jia De has set, yet admitting the idea in the heart, Wei Cai simply and straight-forwardly said, “That’s right! I do in fact not hate you—— But for me to accept a h.o.m.os.e.xual like you, in this lifetime, is impossible!”
Deliberately saying severe words, Wei Cai had been a long time determined to pluck off the budding little love seedlings in his heart.
Absolutely cannot give Li Jia De or himself any chances—— this idea is firmly imprinted in his heart again.
Sure enough, Li Jia De furrowed his brows due to Wei Cai’s decisive statement, “Cai, why bother to constrain your true thoughts? Is the opinion of the outside world really that important to you?” His tone was so sincere that Wei Cai almost could not resist and almost made his heart go soft.
No!
He quickly told himself, no—— What is he going to do if everything is finished… and Li
Jia De’s feelings suddenly disappear? Isn’t that too tragic for him….? Ages of experience made him extremely good at camouflaging himself.
Forcing his tone to become cold, he began, “Yes, I’m not a teenager anymore. I’ve to think for myself—— The position I have today is also what I earned by devoting myself.
I absolutely won’t give up just for these feelings… I am a man——My career is the only life I know! Talking to me about feelings? Can feelings be treated as food to eat? I absolutely don’t want to be supported by a man… Never! Want me to accept you——? It will never happen!”
Feeling as if thousands of strong waves are rolling in his chest, Wei Cai did not wait for Li Jia De’s reply, he “Deng” and stood up-- --
“Don"t come and find me-- -- also don"t call me -- -- it’s useless!” Saying the words that is enough to throw Li Jia De to h.e.l.l, Wei Cai turned and walked in the direction of the door.
After throwing some notes on the counter, he sped out without looking back, leaving Li Jia De sitting there looking foolishly-- --
So he takes my feelings as his life obstacle!
So this is how Wei Cai treated his feelings—worthless, something that just gets in the way for his career……
Really could not restrained his heart filled with disappointment, Li Jia De comforted himself-- -- since he loves him, then he would fulfilled his wishes. Since Wei Cai valued fame and reputation, then just did not go and sticked with him. Let him focused on pursuing his career……
But why----
Does his heart still hurt?
The time pa.s.sed by like flowing water. In a blink of an eye, the last time they met was a month ago---- As Wei Cai wished, Li Jia De did not came and pestered him.
Wet Cai, just like in the past, went to and got off from work with appearance so clam and solemn--------- only he himself knew, in a part of his heart, already have an ineffable gap, silently aching there.
And every Friday once he walked out of the lobby and see that spot which was originally Li Jia De’s parking place, the pain will become more obvious.
That day after work, Wei Cai received a phone call.
“h.e.l.lo? Is it Mr. Wei? I’m from Nian Hua club. Tomorrow night, we’ll be having a fellowship party at Yang Tian hotel. I’d like to ask if you’re free to partic.i.p.ate?”
Nian Hua is a white-collar club he registered last time——which is a modern dating agency.
Wei Cai pondered for a moment—— tomorrow is Friday, a predictable dull day—— should go and relax ba… maybe there are beautiful women…….
With a wry smile for his own thoughts, he replied, “Okay. I’ll be there on time tomorrow.”
“It’s at the lowest level of club”
“Got it.”
After hanging up the phone, Wei Cai was still at a loss for 5 minutes —— Walking through that nightmare which seemed to be happiness for a few months, he had finally walked back to the reality —— This is the depressed as though it is a tank bottom yet let people not likely to fall, the loathsome and bad reality.
A day without any ups and downs had ended again.
Returning back to the empty house, Wei Cai, as always, washed his hands to start cooking. But when everything is ready, looking at the still steaming food, he suddenly felt he had no appet.i.te.
Sitting blankly on the chair, looking out the window, sky is still a light green —— in the meantime, a b.u.t.terfly is in a light dance as if chasing the scent in the air that does not exist.
Maybe—— the beautiful b.u.t.terfly has been in his own dreary world……
Whether his mood is good or bad, he did not feel like eating.
But all of a sudden, he really wants to smoke.
Watching the curl of smoke rising in the small room, Wei Cai, self-harming his health, had obtained some ease in his heart.
Who cares——f.u.c.k!
Why rights he have to say ‘like’—— really too selfish!
Why said it out?
Feeling his heart, being in such unreasonable anger and resentment, had shrunk into a ball, Wei Cai could not resisted but placed his hand over his face.
No tears —— Obviously he was the one who rejected it —— when a man had reached to this age, towards the things he had done, even if he regret till vomiting blood, it is absolutely forbidden to shed tears.
Repeatedly warning himself, Wei Cai forced himself to accept the fact of this so-called feeling had been gone.
Even though, he felt a bit sick waking up in the morning, Wei Cai still went to Yang Tian after work.
Sitting on the promenade surrounded by flowers, he is surrounded by beautiful scenery as the Paris in the early summer.
But Wei Cai was still not in the romantic mood. Looking coldly at the ladies with heavy-makeup across him, he doesn’t even have the desire to open up at all.
The host’s voice has always been shallow and flattering, “Today, there is seven Ladies and seven gentlemen —— Let us proceed with the first program; the round table chat to familiarize ourselves with each other….”
The ladies made shy looks and smiled. The men have their eyes set on their own targets, a look of a hunter hunting.
How Boring ah ——
But Wei Cai was still in line with, “Since I’m here, I may as well stay and make the best of it” idea. Honestly, according to the program and talked with the ladies. This cannot be considered as talk at all.
The dull way of asking each other name, age, career, salary… looking at these originally delicate and charming ladies’ smiles gradually freeze when they hear his income, Wei Cai did not feel any wound in his self-esteem but had a kind of urge to laugh instead.
He was immersed in the enjoyment of this boring chat and was totally unaware that; at the opposite Flower gallery café, there was a pair of eyes staring at him.
Withdrawing his eyes back from Wei Cai, Li Jia De’s eyes fell on the boy sitting opposite him.
The boy’s delicate and charming big eyes which followed his line of sight across the floor saw that group of men and women sitting stiffly and laughed, “Do you know what that is?”
Li Jia De did not say anything and displayed a look of ‘I don’t care’. He tactfully waited for the answer.
“It is match-making ah—— match-making—.” The boy just laughed till he is beat.
“Really old-fashioned to death, very hilarious to death——” In the eyes of these youngsters where h.o.m.os.e.xuality is regarded as rebellious uprising trend, blind dates are things that are really old-fashioned that they can laugh to death.
Dating?
Without words, Li Jia De just looked again on that familiar figure.
It had already been a month ——
Wei Cai had slightly become a bit thin but still has the bright and spirit eyes, he was quietly looking across the women who was talking, with a focus face of a modest, self-disciplined gentleman.
Certainly a normal person ah!
Hmph! Match-making a.s.sociation —— using marriage as prerequisite of dating?
This is what he call as the feelings which will not hinder his future?
Having no mood to continue sitting down, Li Jia De stood up.
The boy was startled by him, “Brother De ——”
“Let’s leave——”
Taking a few bills from the wallet and putting them on the table, Li Jia De left through the door without looking at the boy.
Wei Cai listened insipidly to the lady with a polite and distanced voice across him discussing topics that he had no slightest interest in. A strong impulse of wanting to smoke drove him to stand up.
“I’m sorry—— I’ve to go to the bathroom.” Ignoring the lady’s stunned expression, he stood up in panic. Almost like escaping, he let himself leave this awkward and uncomfortable place.
While stepping down the stairs, Wei Cai reached into his bag to touch the cigarette.
Hurriedly lighting it, he stood against the pillar in the hallway and breathed deeply.
Spicy-suffering air from his throat rushed to his lungs.
He felt numb and heavy till a few of his tears came up —— However, it was only now that he deeply felt like he was still alive.
Drizzle rain had rushed over and hit him on his face. Wei Cai felt waves of coolness and could not helped but raised his head.
Looking at the coffee bar across of him and the person standing in front of its door, he was shocked ——
Li Jia De was coldly standing there wearing a valuable high-level suit line with his deep ill.u.s.trious contour handsome face,attracted the eyes of pa.s.sers-by.
But he was just cold, staring coldly at him. Those eyes did not have love, also had no hate —— only making people’s heart twist together in ice-cold——
Wei Cai’s heart seemed to freeze up.
Time seemed to have stopped.
This world is only left with Li Jia De’s stabbing cold stare, and this cold rain, that does not make sense, rushing towards him.
Involuntary shuddering, Wei Cai’s mouth hesitated for a moment. The cigarette also rolled down to the bottom of the stairs.
He leaned over to pick it up subconsciously.
The magic finally ended at this moment——
A clear male voice resonated in the lonely cold air—— the male voice’s owner just exited the wash-room. He almost looked like bouncing to the side of Li Jia De,
“Brother De, has the car arrived?”
Wei Cai’s hand that was picking up the cigarette froze all of a sudden. He caught a glimpse of the guy—— stylish short hair, big and bright eyes, young and wealthy qualities revealed by him wearing a simple T-shirt and jeans.
His laughter was like a bell. Joy was released in the air.
“Brother De, the car has arrived. You promised me that you’d bring me to your house to visit. I’ve thought about it for a Long time——”
Cutely smiling, that is the youthful charm that no one could reject.
Sarcastic smile seemed somewhat haughty on Lie Jia De’s mouth corners, “okay—— You little wild cat! I knew that you can"t wait…”
Door attendant ran over towards the bright Lamborghini and opened the door for both of them.
Li Jiai De’s deliberately frivolous voice made Wei Cai subconsciously straightened his back and stood up.
But it was just in time to see the boy sitting in Wei Cai’s accustomed seat and the flashy car drove away in dust……
The drizzling rain hit against his covered face. Wei Cai almost felt like he was standing in the autumn rain.
Feeling at loss of what to do, he put the cigarette back in his mouth, yet he realized that it had been long extinguished by the rain.
He took out another one from his briefcase and lit it up. Walking alone among the secret and thin, as though a net weaved upon the fine rain all over the sky