"Somethinglikeit,yes."
"Icouldbuildapictureofoneoftheotherkidnappers,Ithink.Nottheones inthesiege.Ifyoulike."
"IfIlike!Wheredidyouseehim?Howdoyouknow?"
"I"veseenhimtwice.I"lltellyouabout.i.twhenIcomeinwiththelists."
"Howsoon?"hedemanded.
"Whenthemessengercomes.Anytimenow."
ThemessengerobliginglyarrivedwhilePucinelliwasclimbingintohiscar,soI borrowedtheFiatrunaboutagainandfollowedhimtohisheadquarters.
Fittingtogetherpiecesofheadwitheyesandmouth,chinandhairline,I relatedthetwosightings."Youprobablysawhimyourself,outsidethe ambulance,thenightthesiegestarted,"Isaid.
"Ihadtoomuchtothinkof."
Inoddedandaddedears."Thismanisyoung.Difficulttotell...notlessthan twenty-five,though.Lowerthirties,probably."
Ibuiltafullfaceandaprofile,butwasn"tsatisfied,andPucinellisaidhe wouldgetanartistintodrawwhatIwanted."Heworksinthecourts.Very fast."
Atelephonecallproducedtheartistwithinhalfanhour.Hecame,fat, grumbling,smellingofgarlicandscratching,andsayingthat.i.twa.s.siesta,how couldanysanemanbeexpectedtoworkattwointheafternoon?Hestaredwith disillusionatmycompositeefforts,fishedoutathincharcoalstick,andbegan performingrapidmiraclesonasketchpad.Everyfewsecondshestoppedtoraise hiseyebrowsatme,invitingcomment.
"Rounderhead,"Isaid,describingitwithmyhands."Asmoothroundhead."
Theroundheadappeared."Whatnext?"
"Themouth...afractiontoothin.Aslightlyfullerlowerlip."
HestoppedwhenIcouldthinkofnomoreimprovementsandshowedtheresultsto Pucinelli."ThisisthemanasyourEnglishfriendremembershim,"hesaid, sniffing."Memoriesareusuallywrong,don"tforget."
"Thanks,"Pucinellisaid."Gobacktosleep."
Theartistgrumbledanddeparted,andIsaid,"What"sthelatestonLorenzo Traventi?"
"Todaytheysayhe"lllive."
"Good,"Isaidwithrelief.Itwasthefirsttimeanyonehadbeenpositive.
"We"vechargedthetwokidnapperswithintenttokill.Theyareprotesting."He shrugged."Sofartheyarerefusingtosayanythingaboutthekidnap,though naturallywearepointingoutthatiftheyleadustootherarreststheir sentenceswillbeshorter."Hepickeduptheartist"sdrawings."I"llshowthem these.Itwillshockthem."Afleetinglookofsavagepleasurecrossedhisface: thelookofabornpolicemanpoisedforakill.I"dseenitonotherfacesabove otheruniforms,andneverdespisedit:andhedeservedhissatisfaction,after thestrainsofthepastweek.
"Theradio,"Pucinellisaid,pausingasheturnedaway.
"Yes?"
"Itcouldtransmitandreceiveonaircraftfrequencies."
Iblinked."That"snotusual,isit?"
"Notvery.Anditwastunedtotheinternationalemergencyfrequency...whichis monitoredallthetime,andwhichcertainlydidnotpickupanymessagesbetween kidnappers.Wecheckedattheairportthismorning."
Ishookmyheadinfrustration.Pucinelliwentoffwitheagernesstohis interrogations,andIreturnedtothevilla.
Alessiasaid,"DoyoumindifIaskyousomething?"
"Fireaway."
"IaskedPapabuthewon"tanswer,whichIsupposeanywayisananswerof sorts."Shepaused."DidIhaveanyclotheson,whenyoufoundme?"
"Agrayplasticraincoat,"Isaidmatter-of-factly.
"Oh."
Icouldn"ttellwhethertheanswerpleasedherornot.Sheremainedthoughtful forawhile,andthensaid,"IwokeuphereinadressIhaven"twornforyears.
AuntLuisaandIlariasaytheydon"tknowhowithappened.DidPapadressme?Is thatwhyhe"ssoembarra.s.sed?"
"Didn"tyouexpecttohaveclotheson?"Iaskedcuriously.
"Well..."Shehesitated.
Iliftedmyhead."Wereyounaked...allthetime?"
Shemovedherthinbodyrestlesslyinthearmchairasifshewouldsinkintoit, outofsight."Idon"twant..."shesaid;andbrokeoff,swallowing,whileinmy mindIfinishedthesentence.Don"twanteveryonetoknow.
"It"sallright,"Isaid."Iwon"tsay."
Weweresittinginthelibrary,theeveningfadingtodark,theheatoftheday diminishing;freshlyshowered,casuallydressed,waitingintheCencihousehold routinetobejoinedbyeveryoneforadrinkortwobeforedinner.Alessia"s hairwasagaindamp,butshehadprogressedasfaraslipstick.
Shegavemeshortglancesofinspection,notsureofme.
"Whyareyouhere?"shesaid."Papasayshecouldn"thavegotthroughthese weekswithoutyou,but...Idon"treallyunderstand."
Iexplainedmyjob.
"Anadvisor?"
"That"sright."
Shethoughtforawhile,hergazewanderingovermyfaceanddowntomyhands andupagaintomyeyes.Heropinionswereunreadable,butfinallyshesighed, asifmakinguphermind.
"Well...adviseme,too,"shesaid."Ifeelveryodd.Likejetlag,onlymuch worse.Timelag.IfeelasifI"mwalkingontissuepaper.Asifnothing"sreal.
Ikeepwantingtocry.Ishouldbedeliriouslyhappy...whyaren"tI?"
"Reaction,"Isaid.
"Youdon"tknow...youcan"timagine...what.i.twaslike."
"I"veheardfrommanypeoplewhat.i.t"slike.Frompeoplelikeyou,straightback fromkidnap.They"vetoldme.Thefirstbludgeoningshock,thenotbeingableto believeit"shappening.Thehumiliations,forcedonyoupreciselytomakeyou afraidanddefenseless.n.o.bathrooms.Sometimesnoclothes.Certainlyno respect.Nokindnessorgentlenessofanysort.Imprisonment,noonetotalkto, nothingtofillthemind,justuncertaintyandfear...andguilt...Guiltthatyou didn"tescapeinthebeginning,guiltatthedistressbroughtonyourfamily, guiltatwhataransomwillcost...andfearforyourlife...ifthemoneycan"tbe raised,orifsomethinggoeswrong...ifthekidnapperspanic."
Shelistenedintently,atfirstwithsurpriseandthenwithrelief."Youdo know.Youdounderstand.Ihaven"tbeenabletosay...Idon"twanttoupsetthem...
andalso...also..."
"Alsoyoufeelashamed,"Isaid.
"Oh."Hereyeswidened."I...WhydoI?"
"Idon"tknow,butnearlyeveryonedoes."
"Dothey?"
"Yes."
Shesatquietforawhile,thenshesaid,"Howlongwillittake...formetoget overit?"
Tothattherewasnoanswer."Somepeopleshakeitoffalmostatonce,"Isaid.
"But.i.t"slikeillness,oradeath...youhavetogrowscartissue."
Somemanageditindays,someinweeks,someinyears;somebledforever.Some oftheapparentlystrongdisintegratedmost.Onecouldn"ttell,notontheday afterliberation.
Ilariacameintotheroominastunningscarletandgoldtogaandbegan switchingonthelamps.
"Itwasontheradionewsthatyou"refree,"shesaidtoAlessia."Iheardit upstairs.Makethemostofthepeace,thepaparazziwillbestormingupthe drivebeforeyoucanblink."
Alessiashrankagainintoherchairandlookeddistressed.Ilaria,itoccurred tomeuncharitably,haddressedforsuchanevent:anotherstatementaboutnot wantingtobeeclipsed.
"Doesyouradvicestretchtopaparazzi?"Alessiaaskedweakly,andInodded,"If youlike."
Ilariapattedthetopofmyheada.s.shepa.s.sedbehindmychair."OurMr.Fixit.
Neverataloss."
PaoloCencihimselfarrivedwithLuisa,theonelookinganxious,theother fluttery,asusual.
"Someonetelephonedfromthetelevisioncompany,"Cencisaid."Theysayacrew isonthewayhere.Alessia...you"dbetterstayinyourroomuntilthey"vegone."
Ishookmyhead."They"lljustcamponyourdoorstep.Better,really,toget.i.t over."IlookedatAlessia."Ifyoucouldpossibly...andIknowit"shard...make somesortofjoke,they"llgoawayquicker."
Shesaidinbewilderment,"Why?"
"Becausegoodnewsisbriefnews.Iftheythinkyouhadareallybadtime, they"llkeeponprobing.Tellthemthekidnapperstreatedyouwell,sayyou"re gladtobehome,sayyou"llbebackontheracecourseverysoon.Iftheyaskyou anythingwhichitwouldreallydistressyoutoanswer,blankthethoughtsout andmakeajoke."
"Idon"tknow...ifIcan."
"Theworldwantstohearthatyou"reallright,"Isaid."Theywanttobe rea.s.sured,toseeyousmile.Ifyoucanmanageitnowitwillmakeyourreturn tonormallifemucheasier.Thepeopleyouknowwillgreetyouwithdelight...
theywon"tfindmeetingyouuncomfortable,whichtheycouldifthey"dseenyou inhysterics."
Cencisaidcrossly,"She"snotinhysterics."
"Iknowwhathemeans,"Alessiasaid.Shesmiledwanlyatherfather."Ihear you"repayingfortheadvice,sowe"dbettertakeit."
Oncemobilized,thefamilyputonaremarkableshow,likeactorsonstage.For IlariaandLuisaitwasleastdifficult,butforCencitheaffablehostrole musthaveseemedbizarre,asheadmittedthetelevisionpeoplewithcourtesyand washelpfulaboutelectricplugsandmovingfurniture.Asecondtelevisioncrew arrivedwhilethefirstwa.s.stillsettingup,andafterthatseveralcarsfulof reporters,somefrominternationalnewsagencies,andaclatterof photographers.Ilariamovedlikeascarletbirdamongthem,gailychatting,and evenLuisawasappearinggracious,inherunfocusedway.
Iwatchedthecircusa.s.semblefrombehindthealmostclosedlibrarydoor,while Alessiasatsilentinherarmchair,developingshadowsunderhereyes.
"Ican"tdoit,"shesaid.
"Theywon"texpectasonganddanceact.Justbe...normal."
"Andmakeajoke."
"Yes."
"Ifeelsick,"shesaid.
"You"reusedtocrowds,"Isaid."Usedtopeoplestaringatyou.Thinkof being..."Igroped"...inthewinners"circle.Lotsoffuss.You"reusedtoit, whichgivesyouashield."
Shemerelyswallowed,butwhenherfathercameforhershewalkedoutandfaced thebarrageofflashlightsandquestionswithoutcracking.Iwatchedfromthe librarydoor,listeningtoherslow,clearItalian.
"I"mdelightedtobehomewithmyfamily.Yes,I"mfine.Yes,Ihopetobe racingagainverysoon."
Thebrilliantlightingforthetelevisioncamerasmadeherlookextrapale, especiallyneartheglowingIlaria,b.u.t.thecalmhalfsmileonherfacenever wavered.
"No,Ineversawthekidnappers"faces.Theywerevery...discreet."
Thenewsgatherersreactedtothewordwithalowgrowlingrumbleof appreciation.
"Yes,thefoodwas.e.xcellent...ifyouliketinnedpasta."
Hertimingwasmarvellous:thistimeshereapedafulllaugh.
"I"vebeenlivinginthesortoftentpeopletakeonholiday.Size?Asingle bedroom...aboutthatsize.Yes...quitecomfortable...Ilistenedtomusic,mostof thetime."
Hervoicewasquiet,butrock-steady.Thewarmthofthenewsmentowardshercame overclearlynowintheirquestions,andshetoldthemanopensportscarhad provedaliabilityandsheregrettedhavingcausedeveryonesomuchtrouble.
"Howmuchransom?Idon"tknow.Myfathersaysitwasn"ttoomuch."
"Whatwastheworstthingaboutbeingkidnapped?"Sherepeatedthequestionas ifherselfwondering,andthen,afterapause,said,"MissingtheEnglishDerby, Iguess.MissingtherideonBrunelleschi."
Itwastheclimax.Tothenextquestionshesmiledandsaidshehadalotof thingstocatchupwith,andshewasabittired,andwouldtheypleaseexcuse her?
Theyapplaudedher.Ilistenedinamazementtothetributefromthemostcynical bunchintheworld,andshecameintothelibrarywithareallaughinhereyes.
Isawinaflashwhatherfamewasallabout:notjusttalent,notjustcourage, butstyle.