""Drat your hide!" I says. "When you speak to your officer you say sir!
And now you go for"ard and light them lights. Don"t you answer back!
If you do I"ll fix you so"s you"ll never ship aboard another vessel!
For"ard there! Lively, you lubber, lively!"
"He went for"ard, takin" consider"ble time and hangin" on for dear life.
But somehow or "nuther he got the lights to goin"; and all the time I hazed him terrible. I was mate on an Australian packet afore I went fishin" to the Banks, and I can haze some. I blackguarded that shover awful.
""Ripperty-rip your everlastin" blankety-blanked dough head!" I roared at him. "You ain"t wuth the weight to sink you. For"ard there and get that fog horn to goin"! And keep it goin"! Lively, you sculpin! Don"t you open your mouth to me!"
"Well, all night we sloshed along, straight acrost the bay. We must have been a curious sight to look at. The floats was awash, so that the automobile looked like she was ridin" the waves all by her lonesome; the lamps was blazin" at either side of the bow; Billings was a-tootin"
the rubber fog horn as if he was wound up; and I was standin" on the cushions amidships, keepin" the whole calabash afore the wind.
"We never met another craft the whole night through. Yes, we did meet one. Old Ezra Cahoon, of Harniss, was out in his dory stealin" quahaugs from Seth Andrews"s bed over nigh the Wapatomac sh.o.r.e. Ezra stayed long enough to get one good glimpse of us as we bust through the fog; then he cut his rodin" and laid to his oars, bound for home and mother. We could hear him screech for half an hour after he left us.
"Ez told next day that the devil had come ridin" acrost the bay after him in a chariot of fire. Said he could smell the brimstone and hear the trumpet callin" him to judgment. Likewise he hove in a lot of particulars concernin" the personal appearance of the Old Boy himself, who, he said, was standin" up wavin" a red-hot pitchfork. Some folks might have been flattered at bein" took for such a famous character; but I wa"n"t; I"m retirin" by nature, and besides, Ez"s description wa"n"t cal"lated to bust a body"s vanity b"iler. I was prouder of the consequences, the same bein" that Ezra signed the Good Templars" pledge that afternoon, and kept it for three whole months, just sixty-nine days longer than any previous attack within the memory of man had lasted.
"And finally, just as mornin" was breakin", the bows of the floats slid easy and slick up on a hard, sandy beach. Then the sun riz and the fog lifted, and there we was within sight of the South Ostable meetin"-house. We"d sailed eighteen miles in that ark and made a better landin" blindfold than we ever could have made on purpose.
"I hauled down the sail, unshipped the mast, and jumped ash.o.r.e to find a rock big enough to use for a makeshift anchor. It wa"n"t more"n three minutes after we fust struck afore my boots. .h.i.t dry ground, but Billings beat me one hundred and seventy seconds, at that. When I had time to look at that shover man he was a cable"s length from high-tide mark, settin" down and grippin" a bunch of beach gra.s.s as if he was afeard the sand was goin" to slide from under him; and you never seen a yallerer, more upset critter in your born days.
"Well, I got the ark anch.o.r.ed, after a fashion, and then we walked up to the South Ostable tavern. Peleg Small, who runs the place, he knows me, so he let me have a room and I turned in for a nap. I slept about three hours. When I woke up I started out to hunt the automobile and Billings.
Both of "em looked consider"ble better than they had when I see "em last. The shover had got a gang of men and they"d got the gas cart ash.o.r.e, and Billings and a blacksmith was workin" over--or rather under--the clockwork.
""h.e.l.lo!" I hails, comin" alongside.
"Billings sticks his head out from under the tinware.
""Hi, pard!" says he. I noticed he hadn"t called me "Grace" nor "Dewey"
for a long spell. Hi, pard," he says, gettin" to his feet, "the old gal ain"t hurt a hair. She"ll be good as ever in a couple of hours. Then you and me can start for Orham."
""In HER?" says I.
""Sure," he says.
""Not by a jugful!" says I, emphatic. "I"ll borrer a boat to get to Orham in, when I"m ready to go. You won"t ketch me in that man killer again; and you can call me a coward all you want to!"
""A coward?" says he. "You a coward? And--Why, you was in that car all night!"
""Oh!" I says. "Last night was diff"rent. The thing was on water then, and when I"ve got enough water underneath me I know I"m safe."
""Safe!" he sings out. "SAFE! Well, by--gosh! Pard, I hate to say it, but it"s the Lord"s truth--you had me doin" my "Now I lay me"s"!"
"For a minute we looked at each other. Then says I, sort of thinkin" out loud, "I cal"late," I says, "that whether a man"s brave or not depends consider"ble on whether he"s used to his lat.i.tude. It"s all accordin".
It lays in the bringin" up, as the duck said when the hen tried to swim."
"He nodded solemn. "Pard," says he, "I sure reckon you"ve called the turn. Let"s shake hands on it."
"So we shook; and . . ."
Captain Bailey stopped short and sprang from his chair. "There"s my train comin"," he shouted. "Good-by, Sol! So long, Barzilla! Keep away from fortune tellers and pretty servant girls or YOU"LL be gettin"
married pretty soon. Good-by."
He darted out of the waiting room and his companions followed. Mr.
Wingate, having a few final calls to make, left the station soon afterwards and did not return until evening. And that evening he heard news which surprised him.
As he and Captain Sol were exchanging a last handshake on the platform, Barzilla said:
"Well, Sol, I"ve enjoyed loafin" around here and yarnin" with you, same as I always do. I"ll be over again in a month or so and we"ll have some more."
The Captain shook his head. "I may not be here then, Barzilla," he observed.
"May not be here? What do you mean by that?"
"I mean that I don"t know exactly where I shall be. I shan"t be depot master, anyway."
"Shan"t be depot master? YOU won"t? Why, what on airth--"
"I sent in my resignation four days ago. n.o.body knows it, except you, not even Issy, but the new depot master for East Harniss will be here to take my place on the mornin" of the twelfth, that"s two days off."
"Why! Why! SOL!"
"Yes. Keep mum about it. I"ll--I"ll let you know what I decide to do. I ain"t settled it myself yet. Good-by, Barzilla."
CHAPTER XVII
ISSY"S REVENGE
The following morning, at nine o"clock, Issy McKay sat upon the heap of rusty chain cable outside the blacksmith"s shop at Denboro, reading, as usual, a love story. Issy was taking a "day off." He had begged permission of Captain Sol Berry, the permission had been granted, and Issy had come over to Denboro, the village eight miles above East Harniss, in his "power dory," or gasoline boat, the Lady May. The Lady May was a relic of the time before Issy was a.s.sistant depot master, when he gained a precarious living by quahauging, separating the reluctant bivalve from its muddy house on the bay bottom with an iron rake, the handle of which was forty feet long. Issy had been seized with a desire to try quahauging once more, hence his holiday. The rake was broken and he had put in at Denboro to have it fixed. While the blacksmith was busy, Issy laboriously spelled out the harrowing chapters of "Vivian, the Shop Girl; or Lord Lyndhurst"s Lowly Love."
A grinning, freckled face peered cautiously around the corner of the blacksmith"s front fence. Then an overripe potato whizzed through the air and burst against the shop wall a few inches from the reader"s head.
Issy jumped.
"You--you everlastin" young ones, you!" he shouted fiercely. "If I git my hands onto you, you"ll wish you"d--I see you hidin" behind that fence."
Two barefooted little figures danced provokingly in the roadway and two shrill voices chanted in derision:
"Is McKay--Is McKay-- Makes the Injuns run away!
"Scalped anybody lately, Issy?"
Alas for the indiscretions of youth! The tale of Issy"s early expedition in search of scalps and glory was known from one end of Ostable County to the other. It had made him famous, in a way.
"If I git a-holt of you kids, I"ll bet there"ll be some scalpin" done,"
retorted the persecuted one, rising from the heap of cable.