CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES
Mr. Wingate stopped and roared a greeting to Captain Hiram Baker, who was pa.s.sing the open door of the waiting room.
"h.e.l.lo, there, Hime!" he shouted. "Come up in here! What, are you too proud to speak to common folks?"
Captain Hiram entered. "h.e.l.lo!" he said. "You look like a busy gang, for sure. What you doin"--seatin" chairs?"
"Just now we"re automobilin"," observed Captain Sol. "Set down, Hiram."
"Automobilin"?" repeated the new arrival, evidently puzzled.
"Sartin. Barzilla"s takin" us out. Go on, Barzilla."
Mr. Wingate smiled broadly. "Well," he began, "we HAVE just about reached the part where I went autoin". The widow and me and Jonadab."
"Jonadab!" shouted St.i.tt. "I thought you said--"
"I know what I said. But we went auto ridin" just the same.
""Twas Henry G. Bradbury that took us out, him and his bran-new big tourin" car. You see, he landed to board with us the next day after Henrietta come--this Henry G. did--and he was so quiet and easy spoken and run his car so slow that even a pizen auto hater like Jonadab couldn"t take much offense at him. He wa"n"t very well, he said, subject to some kind of heart attacks, and had come to the Old Home for rest.
"Him and the Cap"n had great arguments about the sins of automobilin".
Jonadab was sot on the idee that nine folks out of ten hadn"t machine sense enough to run a car. Bradbury, he declared that that was a fact with the majority of autos, but not with his. "Why, a child could run it," says he. "Look here, Cap"n: To start it you just do this. To stop it you do so and so. To make her go slow you haul back on this lever. To make her go faster you shove down this one. And as for steerin"--well, a man that"s handled the wheels of as many catboats as you have would simply have a picnic. I"m in entire sympathy with your feelin"s against speeders and such--I"d be a constable if I was in your shoes--but this is a gentleman"s car and runs like one."
"All Jonadab said was "Bosh!" and "Humph!" but he couldn"t help actin"
interested, particular as Mrs. Ba.s.sett kept him alongside of the machine and was so turrible interested herself. And when, this partic"lar afternoon, Henry G. invites us all to go out with him for a little "roll around," the widow was so tickled and insisted so that he just HAD to go; he didn"t dast say no.
"Somehow or "nother--I ain"t just sure yet how it happened--the seatin"
arrangements was made like this: Jonadab and Bradbury on the front seat, and me and Henrietta in the stuffed c.o.c.kpit astern. We rolled out and purred along the road, smooth as a cat trottin" to dinner. No speedin", no joltin", no nothin". "TWAS a "gentleman"s car"; there wa"n"t no doubt about that.
"We went "way over to Bayport and Orham and beyond. And all the time Bradbury kept p"intin" out the diff"rent levers to Jonadab and tellin"
him how to work "em. Finally, after we"d headed back, he asked Jonadab to take the wheel and steer her a spell. Said his heart was feelin" sort of mean and "twould do him good to rest.
"Jonadab said no, emphatic and more"n average ugly, but Henry G. kept beggin" and pleadin", and pretty soon the widow put in her oar. He must do it, to please her. He had SAID he could do it--had told her so--and now he must make good. Why, when Mr. Loveland--
""All right," snarls Jonadab. "I"ll try. But if ever--"
""Hold on!" says I. "Here"s where I get out."
"However, they wouldn"t let me, and the Cap"n took the wheel. His jaw was set and his hands shakin", but he done it. Hettie had give her orders and she was skipper.
"For a consider"ble spell we just crawled. Jonadab was steerin" less crooked every minute and it tickled him; you could see that.
""Answers her h.e.l.lum tiptop, don"t she?" he says.
""Bet your life!" says Bradbury. "Better put on a little more speed, hadn"t we?""
He put it on himself, afore the new pilot could stop him, and we commenced to move.
""When you want to make her jump," he says, you press down on that with your foot, and you shove the spark back."
""Shut up!" howls Jonadab. "Belay! Don"t you dast to touch that. I"m scart to death as "tis. Here! you take this wheel."
"But he wouldn"t, and we went on at a good clip. For a green hand the Cap"n was leavin" a pretty straight wake.
""Gosh!" he says, after a spell; "I b"lieve I"m kind of gettin" the hang of the craft."
""Course you are," says Bradbury. "I told--Oh!"
"He straightens up, grabs at his vest, and slumps down against the back of the seat.
""What IS it?" screams the widow. "Oh, what IS it, Mr. Bradbury?"
"He answers, plucky, but toler"ble faintlike. My heart!" he gasps.
"I--I"m afraid I"m goin" to have one of my attacks. I must get to a doctor quick."
""Doctor!" I sings out. "Great land of love! there ain"t a doctor nigher than Denboro, and that"s four mile astern."
""Never mind," cries the Ba.s.sett woman. "We must go there, then. Turn around, Jonadab! Turn around at once! Mr. Bradbury--"
"But poor Henry G. was curled up against the cushions and we couldn"t get nothin" out of him but groans. And all the time we was sailin" along up the road.
""Turn around, Jonadab!" orders Henrietta. "Turn around and go for the doctor!"
"Jonadab"s hands was clutched on that wheel, and his face was white as his rubber collar.
""Jerushy!" he groans desperate, "I--I don"t know HOW to turn around."
""Then stop, you foolhead!" I bellers. "Stop where you be!"
"And he moans--almost cryin" he was: "I--I"ve forgotten how to STOP."
"Talk about your situations! If we wa"n"t in one then I miss my guess.
Every minute we was sinkin" Denboro below the horizon.
""We MUST get to a doctor," says the widow. "Where is there another one, Mr. Wingate?"
""The next one"s in Bayport," says I, "and that"s ten mile ahead if it"s a foot."
"However, there wa"n"t nothin" else for it, so toward Bayport we put.
Bradbury groaned once in a while, and Mrs. Ba.s.sett got nervous.
""We"ll never get there at this rate," says she. "Go faster, Jonadab.
Faster! Press down on--on that thing he told you to. Please! for MY sake."
""Don"t you--" I begun; but "twas too late. He pressed, and away we went. We was eatin" up the road now, I tell you, and though I was expectin" every minute to be my next, I couldn"t help admirin" the way the Cap"n steered. And, as for him, he was gettin" more and more set up and confident.
""She handles like a yacht, Barzilla," he grunts, between his teeth.