"Other young men go to sea. It seemed the only option. And once there, I found I liked it." No need to go into all the suffering that came first.
"I understand. You could still have sent us word, once you had ... er, matured a little, don"t you think?"
"It seemed pointless and I was a different person." Nico shrugged. "Besides, I had no intention of ever coming back. I won"t be staying long now, either. I need to return to Amsterdam."
"Well, it would mean a lot to Kate and me if you would keep in touch from time to time. Can you let bygones be bygones? I apologise for any past misunderstandings between us."
Nico considered the apology was thirteen years too late, but it sounded heartfelt and it seemed churlish to continue to hold a grudge now Jacob had explained his thinking. Besides, it no longer mattered and Jacob was right it was all in the past. He nodded, then held out his hand to shake Jacob"s, trying his best to suppress the feelings of anger which had simmered inside him for so long.
Perhaps now he could bury the past once and for all.
Chapter Twenty-One.
"What is that?" Temperance, who"d just told Midori she was twelve, watched wide-eyed as the latter unpacked her belongings.
"A fan. Don"t you have fans in England?"
"Yes, but I"ve never seen one like that. It"s exquisite! May I hold it?"
"Of course." Midori handed the girl her gilded fan, which was somewhat the worse for wear after much use during the long journey. Temperance opened and closed it with reverence and turned it round several times to inspect the pattern.
"I"ve never seen anything so beautiful," the girl breathed.
"Really? Doesn"t your mother have fans?" It certainly seemed warm enough in England to warrant the use of one.
"No, she doesn"t have any at all," Temperance confided. "No one in this house does."
"Well, you can have this one if you like," Midori offered. "I have another."
"I can? Truly?" Midori nodded with a smile. "Oh, thank you. Thank you so much." Temperance held the fan to her chest with a look of pure delight on her face. Then suddenly her expression clouded over. "But Father probably won"t let me keep it."
"Why ever not? It"s only a small trinket." Midori was confused. What could be wrong with a fan?
"I"m only supposed to own plain things, free from ornament. This is so colourful."
Midori didn"t understand, but she knew one thing when she saw it, and that was happiness. The fan had made Temperance happy and therefore she should have it.
"I"ll tell you what," she said, "how about if I keep it in my clothes chest, but it is still yours and then it can be our little secret? Or we can find some other hiding place for it, if you like?" She"d been looking around and had already discovered that one of the planks that made up the window seat was loose and made a perfect place for concealing her h.o.a.rd of silver coins and her two swords.
"You mean it? You won"t tell a soul?" Temperance"s eyes were huge with a combination of doubt and wonder.
"Never. I swear it by your ... the Bible." Midori thought it was probably the one thing that might convince the girl.
Temperance threw her arms around Midori and hugged her. "Thank you. I"m so glad you"ve come. I hope you stay forever."
Midori laughed. "I"m not sure everyone else shares your feelings, but thank you for making me feel welcome. Actually, since you"re here anyway, could you answer a few questions for me, please? Everything is so new to me and I need to learn quickly."
"Don"t worry, I"ll help you."
Midori smiled. She felt as though she had acquired a younger sister which was something she"d always wanted. Perhaps staying in England wouldn"t be so bad after all.
Later that afternoon Midori went downstairs and found her two aunts in the parlour, busy with their sewing.
"Come in, my dear." Aunt Marston was the first to spot her niece. "What have you there?"
Midori went up to the two women and gave them each a parcel. "It is just a small gift which I brought for you. I didn"t want to arrive empty-handed."
"Why, thank you. That"s very kind." Aunt Marston unwrapped the parcel and revealed the length of silk inside. Her eyes widened as she took in its sheen and l.u.s.tre, but then she shook her head. "Oh, I"m so sorry, but I"m afraid I can"t accept this. It was a wonderful thought, really, but ..."
Midori stared at the shimmering green material and wondered what was wrong with it. She had thought it would suit her aunt"s colouring to perfection and brighten up her pale complexion a little. "You don"t like green? Perhaps you could swap with Aunt Hesketh?"
Her other aunt didn"t say anything, but was staring at the sky-blue silk in her lap with a mixture of hatred and longing. She looked up, venom in her gaze yet again. "It"s not a question of colour. Or rather, it is, but not in the way you imagine."
"I"m sorry, I don"t understand." Midori looked to Aunt Marston for an explanation.
"You see, my dear, we don"t wear such bright colours. We prefer unostentatious ones, like black or grey. And we don"t wear silk either, only wool."
"Not ever? Not even for celebrations?" Somehow Midori had imagined the dreary clothes were worn only for the sake of everyday practicality. "But my mother told me about the betrothal party held for you, Aunt Hesketh, just before she left, and she described the dress you were wearing in detail. I was sure she told me it was a lovely rose pink."
"Enough!" Aunt Hesketh half stood up and had to make a grab for the silk which started to slide off her lap.
Midori recoiled slightly at the vehemence in the woman"s tone and Aunt Marston made a calming motion with her hand in her sister-in-law"s direction.
"Easy, Kate, easy. Our niece can"t be blamed for not knowing these things. After all, over thirty years have pa.s.sed." She looked at Midori. "You see, that was a long time ago and we no longer adhere to the same rules. Now we follow the Bible closely, and it warns us specifically against vanity in our apparel. Surely you can see that something as beautiful as this would be very vain indeed?"
"I ..." Midori didn"t see that at all. She understood even less why it was necessary to wear sober, boring clothing in order to believe in something, but she didn"t know how to argue her case.
Aunt Marston stood up and came over to take her niece"s hands between her own. "Please believe that we appreciate this gesture most sincerely. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts, but unfortunately we can"t accept. Don"t be offended, I beg of you."
"No, no I"m not offended." Midori thought swiftly and hit on an idea. "If you can"t wear this, however, would it be possible for you to sell it?"
"I suppose so. Why?"
"Well, perhaps you could use the money for some better purpose. I just wanted to give you something. It"s the custom in my father"s country."
"An excellent idea. I shall ask your uncle"s advice. Thank you again."
Aunt Hesketh remained silent and when Midori closed the door on her way out of the parlour she saw her aunt fingering the silk before heaving a large sigh.
"Cap"n Noordholt, I hadn"t looked to see you so soon again. Do come in, if you please."
Harding ushered Nico into the tiny house which seemed very shabby in comparison to Jacob"s, but still felt much more welcoming. It consisted of only two rooms, as far as Nico could see, but somehow it managed not to appear too cluttered.
"My daughter"s out just at the moment, but I"m sure I can find us some victuals if you"d like?" Harding offered.
"No, thank you, I"ve eaten. I just came because I wanted to discuss a few things with you. Am I disturbing anything?"
"Not at all, I"m a man of leisure "til the next time I sign on for a journey. Though truth to tell, I"m thinkin" of goin" into business instead. A friend of mine"s offered me a half-share in his chandlery, an" I feel I"m gettin" too old for gallivantin" around. I"ve managed to save enough, so ..."
"Sounds sensible." Nico nodded.
"And what about yourself, sir? Off back to Amsterdam, are you?"
"Not just yet. That"s what I wanted to speak to you about. It"s Mistress Midori, you see. I need to get her away from here. In fact, I should never have brought her." He told Harding about what he"d overheard at the inn. "I can"t make head or tail of all the rumours flying around, but it could be dangerous." Nico had tried his best to find out, but no one seemed to know for sure.
"I hear tell it"s definitely happenin"," Harding said. "More"s the pity. I"m too old for fightin", but I may not have a choice."
"You really think it"ll come to that, here in Devon, too?"
"Aye, I reckon we"ll all have to take sides sooner or later. The problem"s not goin" to go away this time."
Nico clenched his jaw. "That"s bad news. It makes it even more imperative for me to get Midori away."
"I would," Harding agreed. "Not the place for a lady such as her."
"I know." Nico sighed. "She"s stubborn though, and ... well, I sort of deceived her a little, so she"s angry with me now and may not listen." He reluctantly told Harding about the kinship between him and Midori.
Harding whistled softly. "Well, I never. Stepcousins, eh? Who"d have thought."
"Yes, an amazing coincidence, but still, it happened. The point is, if she won"t agree to go with me, can I rely on you to look out for her? Should she need it, that is."
"Of course. Don"t you fret, I"ll do my best."
"Thank you, Harding. I"ll let you know how I get on. First, I need to find a way of waylaying her so I can speak to her alone."
How, he had no idea.
"I would like a word with you, Midori, if you please? In private."
Uncle Marston"s voice was pleasant enough as he ushered her into his small study, and the request perfectly reasonable. But Midori still had the feeling she wasn"t going to enjoy the ensuing conversation. A week had pa.s.sed since her arrival in the Marston household, and she knew she"d been under constant scrutiny. It would seem the time had come for the verdict.
"Do take a seat."
Midori sat down on the high-backed chair opposite her uncle"s, folding her hands in her lap and a.s.suming a calm expression. She tried not to fidget, but it was almost impossible, since the woollen bodice and petticoat were making her skin itch unbearably, despite the linen shift underneath. She wondered how long it would take before her skin became used to the scratchy material. Her aunt said she wasn"t allowed to wear silk, so her Amsterdam purchases had been swapped for various lengths of wool and linen.
There was a long pause as her uncle searched for the right words. He steepled his fingers together, holding the tips against the underside of his chin. For a while he focused on some point beyond her left shoulder, before fixing her with his calm gaze.
"My dear, I"ve been observing you for a few days and I hope you don"t mind me saying this, but it appears to me you don"t quite know how to go on."
"Oh? In what way, Uncle? I have tried my best to follow my aunts" instructions. I"m learning to make bread, to sew clothes and even to spin wool, although I"m afraid it will take me a while to master that." Midori knew he wasn"t talking about her domestic skills, which probably didn"t interest him, but she felt it was better to pretend ignorance. He cut her short.
"Yes, yes, I"m sure you"re making excellent progress with such things, and very commendable it is, too. I was rather thinking of your devotions. As you are under my guidance, I would like, if I may, to offer you some instruction in matters of faith."
Midori couldn"t say his offer was entirely unexpected. Although she"d tried her best to join in the daily prayers and hymn singing, the theological discussions had been beyond her and she often found her mind drifting. Obviously, her uncle had noticed, despite the fact that she"d tried her best to hide her inattention.
"It"s very kind of you, but ... would you be very upset if I decline? Captain ... er, Nicholas and I had some theological discussions during our journey, but I don"t yet feel ready to embrace Christianity fully. I"m sorry." She hung her head, wondering if he would explode with rage and banish her from the house forever. She had thought for a while that she could adapt to a new faith, but when it came down to it, she found it impossible. I have to be true to myself!
"I understand. It must be vastly different to the beliefs you"ve grown up with?"
Midori looked up. "Indeed, yes. And I would feel as though I"m betraying my father. It"s ... this is difficult for me."
"Of course, I realise that," her uncle said in a milder tone of voice. "Would you like to learn more or are you completely set against it? I"d like the opportunity to change your mind, if at all possible, but I don"t want to force you in any way."
Midori was very relieved to hear that. "I would be happy to listen to you, Uncle," she said. After all, what harm could it do?
"Excellent." He smiled at her.
"Thank you for being so understanding and for allowing me to stay here with you. I didn"t know where else to go and Mother said-"
"You did the right thing. No matter what, we are your family and we"re very glad to have you. Think no more about it. Now, why don"t you tell me what you and Nicholas talked about, then we can continue from there?"
"He made me read pa.s.sages from the Bible and then he explained them to me."
"Did he really?" Uncle Marston looked astonished. "Well, I never! So his father didn"t entirely waste his breath on him then ..." He shook his head. "Anyway, our Bible is in the parlour and you may read it there as often as you wish. It is kept in a box and I trust you will handle it with care."
"Yes, of course. Will you tell me which pa.s.sages to read, please?"
He nodded. "I"ll try to choose suitable ones for you. I"d like you to learn first about the various sins and temptations that are set before us daily. The world is an immoral place, and whatever your beliefs, I must insist you follow mine and your aunts" moral guidance, agreed? There are certain things unmarried young women simply mustn"t do. This is not just to do with Christianity, but the code of conduct of English society as a whole, you understand?"
"I promise I"ll try my best."
He continued on in this vein for a while, and Midori listened dutifully. Uncle Marston had treated her with nothing but kindness so far and it wasn"t his fault they were miles apart culturally. She was determined to do her best to please him.
"Now don"t forget, you may come to me at any time with any problems or questions you may have."
"Thank you, Uncle."
Just before leaving the room, she remembered something. "Uncle Marston, there is something which has been puzzling me all week."
"Oh, yes?"
"Did Aunt Hesketh marry the man originally intended for my mother, the one she left England to escape from? I was told my aunt was betrothed to another at that time."
Her uncle"s expression turned guarded. "She did marry Ezekiel Hesketh, yes. She and her former fiance found they weren"t suited to each other and the arrangement came to an end. It"s not a subject we normally discuss and it is all in the past."
"I see. Well, thank you. You"ve been very kind."
Midori fled before she could make any more faux pas.
Back in the small chamber she shared with Temperance, Midori sank to her knees in front of the minute fireplace. Above it was a wooden shelf, its underside blackened with soot. On this shelf she had placed the two urns containing the ashes of her parents. No one had noticed they were anything other than ornaments, and as they were very plain she hadn"t been asked to remove them. A piece of bread and a small mug of cider stood casually between them, as if they"d been left there by mistake. They were Midori"s meagre offerings to her ancestors.