"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom –Anais Nin."***
She was lost on her own thoughts while looking at her twin sister lying unconsciously at the other side of the wall. once again, she entered another dimension not minding the people around her. She only got back this morning but she already had enough blow for the day. Stacy, having stage four leukemia, her- being pregnant for four weeks now, Ethan being distant to her and now Sherry as the only donor to extend Stacy"s life. What in the world is happening around her?
"Aisha, it"s almost nighttime. Aren"t you going home?" Lisa approached her.
Aisha suddenly gazed at Ethan"s direction who was standing near the window, looking at the vast sky. She loves to go home but looks like Ethan is still mad at her. Or probably---- she jerked with her thoughts. Since Stacy is already here, does she even have the right to go home with Ethan? Wait! could that be the reason why Ethan was maintaining his distance from her? her heart ached.
Yes, everyone knows that Stacy was his legal wife although Ethan said that their marriage paper was fake to begin with. But what if Ethan wants to take Stacy back now that he knew the whole reason why she left them. What if? Besides, they were married for almost four years. That isn"t an easy number to break. Thinking about it p.r.i.c.ks Aisha"s heart. Dang!
Aisha was still looking at Ethan when he suddenly stared at her. they locked eyes. She was searching him for an answer. however, his eyes were a bit aloof and emotionless. Still, Aisha was searching for her Ethan, the sweet and loving Ethan. If only he would show up, then it will ease her anxieties a bit. But his nowhere to be found. The Ethan that she"s seeing right now was the same man she met during their first meeting. Cold, detached, hateful.
What happened? What did she do to him? How did things end up like this? Or is this a dream perhaps? if it is, she wanted to wake up as soon as possible! But it"s not. Nothing before her was a dream.
She"s losing heart. Is this how pregnant women usually feels? Are they truly that sensitive? Imaginative? Doubtful? Insecure? Aisha averted her gaze as she heaves a sigh. If she goes home with Ethan, the whole drive will be as awkward as h.e.l.l.
"I"ll stay here. Besides, there are available rooms here." She faked a smile. "Why don"t you go home first? You too Johnny, I"ll stay with her tonight."
"Okay. we will go ahead then." Lisa bid farewell as well as Johnny. Ethan was left all alone with Aisha but after an uncomfortable silence, he decided to go home without a word.
"Ethan…" Aisha called out when she sensed that his about to exit the door. Ethan was about to turn the doork.n.o.b when he suddenly halted.
"Thank you… for everything." She mumbled, their backs facing each other.
"Ehm." It was the only word that he said before exiting the room.
As soon as Ethan walked out the room, Aisha fell on her knees and cried. Is this the end of their relations.h.i.+p? Then she touched her belly. But how about their baby? Aisha sobs as she thought about the baby on her stomach.
***
When Ethan step out the room, he brought his phone out and dialed the number of the head facility. He ordered them to bring comforter and change the bedsheets on the VVIP room where Stacy was and to make sure that healthy food will be served on every meal. Although, he was a bit icy to Aisha, he still cares. He just wants to give her the s.p.a.ce that she asked before.
Ethan was definitely upset at Aisha"s sudden change of behavior during their argument when he called her to tell her about Stacy"s condition. And he was hurt at her words of insult but he decided to give her the s.p.a.ce that she was asking. Is it really his fault that Stacy was terminally ill right now? Dang! that accusation killed his heart instantly that time.
He can take Aisha"s anger that moment because he prepared himself for it. however, blaming him for what happened to Stacy was a bit off. if only they didn"t meet before. if only he wasn"t that selfish to take Stacy as his wife forcefully, if only he didn"t enter their life then maybe things like this didn"t happen to Stacy. Those were just some of her verses that time. the last thing was asking for s.p.a.ce.
However, Aisha didn"t know how her careless remarks hurts Ethan. She didn"t know that the damage was more than what she thought it was. In fact, she even forgot about the speeches she gave him. yes, Aisha was caught by her emotion that moment. Is that even normal for pregnant people? she didn"t know because she doesn"t have a mother who would educate her about such things.
***
Aisha sat beside her sister"s bed. She looks so frail and thin. Then Aisha held her hand and placed it close to her heart.
"Stacy, I"m sorry!" she started to cry. "I"m sorry, I didn"t know you were suffering like this. instead of looking for you, I have coveted your husband. I"m sorry!" she lowered her head.
"Stacy. I need to tell you something. I sinned against you. I"m sorry that I have loved Ethan- your husband and now I"m pregnant." She stooped.
"I"m pregnant with his baby! I"m sorry!" she sobs continually.
Unknown to her, Stacy was conscious, listening to her every words. However, her weak body couldn"t response to what her mind wants to do. Stacy wanted to open her eyes and move her hands to hold and comfort her but she can"t lift even a finger. She cursed within. How she wanted to tell Aisha about their mom and to tell her that it"s okay to love Ethan as long as they genuinely love each other.
"Sissy, please save our mom from that evil man!" Stacy"s thoughts yelled but no words could come out from her mouth.