XXIII
There came a moment when it seemed to Mary that she had promised to do an undignified thing, a thing which would make Vanno respect her less than ever. To go out deliberately to meet him, after all that had pa.s.sed!--it was impossible. She must send a message to the cure saying that she could not come to his garden.
She even began such a letter, late on the night after his call; but as she wrote, the good brown eyes of the priest seemed to look at her, saying, "I thank you for trusting me." Then she tore up the sheet of paper, and went on trusting him blindly. She slept better afterward than she had slept since Christmas, her first night in the Villa Bella Vista.
Mary"s habit was to go to the Casino every morning as soon as the doors opened, and she paid the artist whom she had met in the Paris train to seize a place for her, in the rush of early players. For doing this he received ten francs, which gave him two stakes at roulette, and sometimes enabled him to play for several hours before he was "cleaned out." She had lost a good deal by this time; all her original winnings, and had begun to fall back on her own capital, for her luck had never returned for more than a few hours together. A hateful sense of failure was upon her. She was feverishly anxious to get back her losses, not so much for the money"s sake as for the pleasure of "beating the bank," as she had continually beaten it at first. Once, she had had the great white, good-natured animal under her feet, and people had looked at her with wondering admiration, as if she had been Una leading an obedient lion. Now the admiring looks, tributes to her lovely face and pretty clothes or jewels, were tempered with pity. The lion had Una in his mouth. There seemed to be no question in the public mind as to how he would eventually dispose of her. Mary felt the difference keenly. She could hardly submit to it. She wanted desperately to do something which, in every sense, would turn the tables. She risked huge sums in a wild hope that her courage might conquer luck, that again she might know the peculiar joy, the indescribable thrill of seeing the "bank" send for more money. Yet deep down within her a voice said that the moment would never come again; and she had no longer her old gay confidence in placing her stakes.
The crowds had ceased to collect round her table, to watch the "wonderful Miss Grant." It is the sensational wins, where piles of gold and notes mount up, that people rush to gaze upon. They are not amused by seeing money monotonously swept off the tables, even in immense sums.
It discourages and depresses them. n.o.body likes to be discouraged and depressed; therefore Mary had lost her audiences. Still she played on, and listened to no advice.
This morning, however, when she woke to remember her promise to the cure, she felt oddly disinclined to go to the Casino. Usually she wakened, after dozing fitfully, dreaming over again last night"s worries, with an almost tremulous longing to be at the tables once more, a longing that seemed even more physical than mental, an aching of the nerves. Now the burning desire was suddenly a.s.suaged, or forgotten in the powerful sway of a new thought, as illness can be forgotten in sudden fear or joy. The Casino appeared unimportant, trivial. All there was of her was already on the mountain, in the little garden which Rose Winter had said was like fairyland.
Mary did not wish to be questioned by anybody in the house, however; so she went out at the usual hour, found her employe in the long queue of those who waited before the Casino doors, paid him, and said that he might keep the seat for himself. She then went to walk on the terrace, hoping that no one she knew might be there: and it seemed likely that she would have her wish, for most of her acquaintances were keen gamblers who considered a morning wasted outside the Casino.
Mary walked to the eastern end of the terrace, where the _ascenseur_ comes up from the level of the railway station below. She remembered how she had heard the little boy give his musical cry, and how she had looked out of the train window, and his smile had decided her not to go on. If she had gone on, how different everything would have been, how much better perhaps; and yet--she could not be sorry to-day, as she was sometimes in bitter moments, that she had come to Monte Carlo.
As she stood by the bal.u.s.trade, looking away toward Italy, a voice she knew spoke behind her. She turned, and saw Hannaford, his hat off, his marred face pale in the sunshine.
"Oh," she said impulsively, "I think you"re the one person I could endure talking to just now!"
Since the night of the ball on the yacht, when they had sat on the terrace in the moonlight, they had become good friends, she and Hannaford. She had no feeling of repulsion for him now. That was lost in pity, and forgotten in grat.i.tude for the sympathy which made it possible to confide in him as she could in no one else. He stood entirely apart from other men, in her eyes, as he seemed to stand apart from life, and out of the sun. When she spoke to him of her troubles or hopes it was not, to her, as if she spoke to a man like other men, but to a sad spirit, who knew all the sadness her spirit could ever know.
Often they had walked here together on the terrace, but it was usually in the afternoon, when Hannaford could persuade her out of the Casino for a few minutes, to "revive herself with a breath of fresh air," or to see the gold-and-crimson sunset glory behind the Rock of Hercules. Since Hannaford had won the money he wanted for the buying of his villa, he had kept his resolution not to play seriously; but he spent a good deal of time in the Casino, un.o.btrusively watching over Mary. He did not feel the slightest desire to play, he told Carleton, and other men who were amused or made curious by the sudden change in him. He had a "new interest in life," he explained; and every one took it for granted that he meant the villa, now his own. But he never said it was that which had made life better worth living for him.
"If it"s a question of bare endurance of me, I"ll go," he answered Mary"s greeting, "and leave you to walk by yourself."
"No," she a.s.sured him. "I"d really like to have you. I thought I wanted to be alone. But I see now that being with you is better."
Hannaford drew in a long breath of the exquisite air, and looked up into the sunshine as if for once he did not feel himself unfitted for the light. "Do you really mean that, I wonder?" he asked in a low voice.
"Yes. I wouldn"t say it if I didn"t," Mary answered with complete frankness. "How do you happen to be here at this time of day?"
"To tell the truth, I saw you go down the steps, and followed to ask the same question."
"I came, because for some reason I have to be out of doors. I _couldn"t_ go into the Rooms! I"d take a long walk, if I knew where to go."
"Good. I"m glad to hear it. Will you let me guide you somewhere, and give you a surprise?"
Mary looked undecided. "I"d like that. But I have an engagement this afternoon. Not in the Casino--or anywhere at Monte Carlo. It"s up at Roquebrune. I have promised to go and see the--the cure"s garden there."
"I"ll bring you back from my expedition in plenty of time, if that"s all," said Hannaford. He did not urge, but Mary knew that he very much wanted her to say yes.
"Will it be out of doors?"
"All the time out of doors, except for a few minutes when you"re looking at a curiosity. First we have to get to Mentone. I"ll spin you over there in a taxi. Then we can walk to--to the surprise. I"m sure you"ve never been."
"Is it to see your villa?" Mary asked, for he had suggested her going there some day.
"No, for I wouldn"t take you to my house alone. We"re not very conventional, you and I, I"m afraid; but there must be a party for your first visit to my "castle in Spain" transplanted into Italy. I"ll give you, and any people you like to ask, a picnic luncheon over there. But to-day I want you to lunch with me alone somewhere."
There was rather an odd ring in his voice, which made Mary look up quickly, but his face was calm, even stolid, as usual; and she thought that she had been mistaken. She put herself quietly into his care, feeling the comfort of perfect ease in his companionship. She could talk to him if she chose, or be silent. Whatever she liked, he too would like.
Half an hour later the taxi which Hannaford had hired stopped at the bridge dedicated to the Empress of Austria, the bridge which marks the dividing line between the communes of Roquebrune and Mentone. Then the two walked along the sea front, where the spray spouted gold in the sun, and a salt tang was on the breeze. It was a different world, somehow, from the world of Monte Carlo, though it was made up of pleasure-seekers from many countries. There were smartly dressed women, pretty girls with tennis rackets, men in flannels, with Panama hats pulled over their tanned faces; men with fine, clear profiles, who had been soldiers; solemn judges on holiday; fat old couples who waddled from side to side, as if their legs were set on at the corners, like the legs of chairs and tables; thin, middle-aged ladies with long, flat feet which showed under short tweed skirts; ladies clothed as unalluringly as possible as if to apologize for belonging to the female s.e.x; elderly gentlemen with superior, selfish expressions, and faces like ten thousand other elderly gentlemen who live in _pensions_, talk of their "well-connected"
friends, and collect all the newspapers to brood over in corners, as dogs collect bones. There were invalids, too, in bath-chairs, and children playing with huge St. Bernards or Great Danes, and charming actresses from the Mentone Casino, with incredibly slim figures, immense ermine m.u.f.fs, and miniature j.a.panese spaniels. Mary could see no reason why these people who promenaded and listened to the music should be different both individually and in ma.s.s from a crowd to be seen at Monte Carlo, yet the fact remained that they were different; and among the faces there were none she knew, save those of the bird-like girl and her mother, half forgotten since the meeting in the train.
Hannaford took her by the Port, and past the old town whose heights towered picturesquely up and up, roof after roof, above the queer shops and pink and yellow houses of the sea level. Then came the East Bay, with its new villas and hotels, and background of hills silvered with olives; and at last, by a turn to the right which avoided the high road to Italy, they dipped into a rough path past a pebble floored stream, where pretty kneeling girls sang and scrubbed clothing on the stones.
Two douaniers, one French, the other Italian, lounging on opposite sides of the little stream flowing down from the Gorge of St. Louis, told that this was the frontier. It was not the road to Italy that Mary knew, when once or twice she had motored over the high bridge flung across the dark Gorge of St. Louis on excursions to Bordighera and San Remo.
Nevertheless they were in Italy, and a mysterious change had come over the landscape, the indefinable change that belongs to frontiers. The buildings were shabbier; yet, as if in generous pity for their poorness, roses and pink geraniums draped them in cataracts of bloom. Gardens were less well kept, yet somehow more poetic. The colour of the old plastered walls and pergolas was more beautiful here, because more faded, stained green with moss, and splashed with many flower-like tints born of age and weather.
Always ahead, as Mary walked on with Hannaford, the high red wall of the Rochers Rouges glowed as if stained with blood where the sun struck it; and between the towering heights of rock and the turquoise sea he stopped her at an open-air restaurant roofed with palm leaves. There Hannaford ordered luncheon, at a table almost overhanging the water, and while the _bouillabaisse_ was being made, he took her to the cave of the prehistoric skeletons.
Mary was interested, yet depressed. Life seemed such a little thing when she thought of all the lives that had pa.s.sed in one unending procession of brief joys and tedious tragedies since those bones had been clothed with flesh and had caged hearts which beat as hotly as hers was beating now. "What does it matter," she said, "whether we are happy or not?"
"Does it not matter to ourselves?" Hannaford answered, rather than asked.
"Just at this moment, I"m not sure."
"Does it matter more about making others happy?"
"Perhaps. I should like to think that in my life I had made some others happy."
"I"m going to tell you by and by," he said, "how you can make one other very happy. It"s just a suggestion I have to offer. There may be nothing in it."
He spoke rather dryly and perfunctorily, as he helped her down the stairs of the cave-dwellers" rock-house. Mary had a vague idea that he meant to interest her in a "sad case," as he had done once or twice before, when he thought she needed to be "taken out of herself." She expected to hear a tale of some poor girl who had "lost all," and must be redeemed from disaster by a helping hand lest worse things happen; and as he was evidently determined not to tell his story then, Mary waited without impatience.
They were lunching early, and had finished before many people began to arrive dustily in carriages and automobiles. Hannaford had ordered his taxi at two o"clock, and there was no hurry. He told the Italian musicians to play softly, some simple old airs that he loved. Then, when Mary sat staring dreamily into the water, far down through clear green depths, he put his elbows on the table, his chin in his hands, and leaned across to her.
"Of course you know," he said, "that I love you. Don"t speak yet--and don"t look at me, please. Keep your eyes on the water. I told you I had something to ask; but it"s not for your love I"m asking. I know that no woman, not even with your kind and gentle heart, could love a man like me. But something has hurt you. I told you once before that I didn"t want to hear what it was. Only I"m afraid you"re not happy, and perhaps--if the hurt was in your heart--you may never be happy again in exactly the old way, as a young girl is when she is full of hope. We feel alike about a lot of things, you and I. We are good friends. At least, you look on me as your friend. And as for you, no man will ever be your friend, as you think of that word. I"m your friend to this extent, that you"ve given me back my interest in the world. I used to want to get out of it all, but I don"t now, because you"re in it.
Anyhow, I don"t want to go if you"ll let me be of use to you--if you"ll let me love you. Is it possible, dear, that you could think of marrying me--just in a friendly sort of way, you know, to have a protector, a man to look after you, and worship you, without any return except a little sympathy and kindness?"
Not once had Mary looked up at him, after the first fluttering glance of surprise when he began. Even when Hannaford stopped, and waited, she still kept her eyes on the water; but he saw that her hand trembled on the bal.u.s.trade, and that a little pulse beat in her throat.
"I never thought!" she quavered, miserably.
"I know that, very well. I wouldn"t believe most women who made such an excuse, after being as kind to me as you have been--a man like me! I should have thought you knew, and that you were playing, as the boys play with the frogs. But I realized from the first that you weren"t going to "think," unless I put thoughts into your head. I wouldn"t ask such a thing of you if you were happy, but you"re not happy. I don"t believe you know what to do with your future. You"re not interested in things, as you were when you first came--except in the Casino, and that can"t go on forever. The sort of thing you"re doing now eats a woman"s soul away. Men can stand it longer than women. Almost anything else would be better for you. Even marrying me. Maybe you would take an interest in the place I"ve bought. It could be made so beautiful! You can"t imagine the joy I"ve had in simply picturing you there."
"I should love to come--to see it--but only as your friend," Mary said, stammering guiltily, as if she were doing wrong in refusing him. "Oh, I can"t tell you how sorry, how sorry I am!"
"You needn"t be sorry," he answered. "I might have known what I wanted was too good to come true. I might have known I was beyond the pale. And I did know, in my heart. Only I had to find out, for sure. You mustn"t mind. I wouldn"t be without the memory of this day with you, anyhow--not for the world. It"s good enough to live on for the rest of my life."
"But--you speak as if we weren"t to see each other any more," said Mary.
"Can"t we go on being friends?"
"Yes. Wherever we are, we"ll "go on being friends." But you may leave Monte. You probably will. And I--I shall be leaving too. Still, we"ll "go on being friends." And the next favour I ask of you, if you possibly can, will you grant it?"
"Indeed I will," Mary promised eagerly. "Ask me now."