"Nope. I"m going to remodel my downstairs bathroom instead."
"By yourself?"
"Yes, by myself. I"ll hire an electrician and a plumber when I need to, but there"s no reason I can"t do most of the work on my own."
"Oh?"
"You don"t sound convinced." Haley recalled the disastrous state of her kitchen and bathroom pre-Haney & Sons. She couldn"t blame her. "Sam taught me a lot, and I"m confident I can pull it off."
"I"m sure you can remodel your bathroom, Haley. I"m just disappointed I won"t get to live vicariously through you now that you"ve decided to take a break from online dating."
"You could always sign up on an online site yourself, you know."
"Mmm. Do you need any help with your new project? I"m pretty good at painting. I"d appreciate it if you"d teach me a few new skills. There are things I"d like to do with my townhouse, but with my student loans and car payment, I can"t really afford to hire anybody to do the work."
"I"d love to teach you what I"ve learned. If you want to pitch in, get your hands dirty and callused, that"d be great." Excitement for her new project surged. "I"m going to need help with carrying things out to a dumpster, like the old vanity, the toilet, buckets of construction debris and stuff like that. Do you think your brother would be willing to lend a hand? I"d pay him, of course."
"He"s always looking for a way to earn some cash. His college cla.s.ses keep him too busy to take on more than temporary jobs, and something like this would be perfect."
A knock on her door startled Haley, and she glanced out the front window toward the street. Sam"s SUV was parked in front of her mailbox-in the same spot where he"d always parked when they were working on her house. Her heart leaped up her throat. "Oh my G.o.d, you"ll never guess who"s at my front door."
"Kathy told me about this game. Wait. Isaiah Mustafa?"
Her mouth dry, Haley walked to the door. "Who"s Isaiah Mustafa?"
"The hot brother who made Old Spice famous a few years ago."
"Oh, I remember him. Gotta go. I"ll call you back later."
Felicia sighed. "You"d better."
Haley ended the call. Her hand shaking and her heart thumping, she opened the door. "Sam. What are you doing here?"
"I brought you a present." He lifted a gift bag in the air for her to see. His gaze roamed over her. "Along with fresh cinnamon bagels and cream cheese." He lifted the other hand to reveal a Panera bag.
She was still in her pajamas, flannel pants and a snug long-sleeve T-shirt. No bra. Great. "Wait here." She slammed the door in his face and hurried to her room to dress. She had no idea why he"d shown up at her door, but she didn"t need him ogling her braless, traitorous b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Her nipples had pebbled at the sight of him, or maybe it was from the cold coming in through the door. Must be the cold.
She tossed her phone on her dresser and rummaged through the drawers. Haley dressed in record time, jeans, a sweater-with a padded bra beneath that would not show off the state of her nipples. Running a brush through her hair, she struggled to calm her nerves.
She marched back to her front door, and once again threw it open. "If you"re here for your bowls, they"re still in the breezeway." It hurt to look at him, so she didn"t.
"I"m not here for the bowls. If you don"t want to invite me in, I"ll understand completely, and I"ll leave these for you." He tried to hand her the two bags.
She didn"t take them. "Come in." She moved aside, and he stepped over the threshold, close enough that she caught a whiff of his aftershave. That hurt too. "Coffee?"
"I"d love a cup, thanks."
"Have a seat." Haley hurried off to the kitchen, buying herself a few more seconds to pull herself together. She poured herself a fresh cup, and another for Sam. Taking a deep breath, she returned to the living room and set the mugs on the table next to the Panera bag.
Sam had placed the gift bag on the floor by the couch. Curiosity burned through her, but she was distracted by the very sight of him. He wore the nice blue sweater his grandmother had given him for Christmas, and a pair of jeans that looked as if he"d ironed them. They had a crease in front. As surrept.i.tiously as possible, she drank him in.
She reached for her coffee, going for casual nonchalance. Ha. Her insides quaked and stirred like some kind of off-kilter washing machine in a mad spin cycle. "So, what brings you here today, and bearing gifts no less? A consolation prize?"
"No." Sam raked his fingers through his hair, his Adam"s apple bobbing.
Good. At least she knew he was nervous too. "What is this for then?" She set her coffee down and leaned over the gift bag, trying like h.e.l.l to catch a glimpse of what might lie beneath the tissue paper.
"Haley, I can"t-"
"I know you can"t, Sam." She shot up from the couch and paced. "We"ve already been through this, haven"t we? Did you show up today just to-"
"Are you always going to jump to conclusions every time I open my mouth? Is this what it"s going to be like for the rest of our lives? You interrupting me?"
Stunned, she stopped her pacing and wrapped her arms around herself. She stared out her front window, unsure she"d heard him correctly and unwilling to ask him to repeat himself.
"I was going to say that I can"t sleep. I"ve lost weight, and you"re on my mind pretty much around the clock. And with you so close right now, I can hardly breathe. I was wrong, Haley."
"About what?" she asked, afraid she"d break down into a weepy, snotty mess if she looked at him.
"Pretty much everything. I"ve kept myself cut off from becoming seriously involved with anyone because more than anything, I fear losing the people I love. I believed that losing my one and only-that would be you, by the way-would be the very worst kind of loss, and it would destroy me."
She nodded, conscious of the way he watched her. Wait. Did he just say . . . Her stupid hopes shot up again. She put a lid on them, unwilling to allow herself to go there. Besides, she wasn"t about to jump right back into his arms.
"I asked Grandpa Joe how he dealt with loss, how he coped with the possibility that Grandma Maggie might go before him. Do you want to hear what he had to say?"
Her eyes filled. Still giving him her back, she nodded again.
"Then come sit with me, Haley. Please come sit with me."
She shook her head, and a tear slid down her cheek. She so didn"t want to blubber in front of him, and she was definitely on the verge.
"OK. I respect that." Sam sighed heavily. "Grandpa Joe believes he and Grandma Maggie will somehow be together again once they both leave this world, and even without her, having family around will help make his life worth living. He says if Grandma Maggie goes first, a part of her will live on in us, so it"s not like he"ll ever lose her completely."
The rustle of paper behind her piqued her curiosity.
"Here," Sam said, coming up beside her. "I brought you these, because I wanted you to know I heard what you said. I paid attention. You got through to me."
He handed her a pair of water wings, the kind little kids wore while swimming. She turned them over in her hands, staring at them. "You brought me water wings?"
"I brought you flotation devices. Remember? You said memories are like flotation devices, and they keep us afloat through the tough times. When Grandpa Joe talked about how his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren will sustain him if he loses Grandma, I figured families are also flotation devices. I get it now. I want to make memories with you, Haley. Please give me a second chance, because I fell in love with you the day we met, and I"m not going to fall out of love with you. Ever."
A sob broke free, and she covered her mouth. Sam drew her into his arms and held her just right. The water wings fell to the floor, and she wrapped her arms around his waist. She wanted to stay right there for the rest of the day. "I fell in love with you, too. I"ve missed you so much."
"Please," he whispered into her ear. "Come sit on the couch and see what I brought you."
"All right," she said, wiping her eyes. "We need to discuss a few things, negotiate terms."
"I"m all ears, Ms. Paralegal." He led her to the couch and settled her there. "I have a feeling I"m going to need sustenance for this conversation. You sit. I"m going to go get plates, a knife for the cream cheese and napkins."
"Bring me a few sheets of paper towel, too," she said, tossing him a watery smile. She sagged into the couch cushions, drained, hungry and optimistic.
Sam returned and set two places at the coffee table. He reached into the Panera bag and brought out two bagels, placing one on her plate and one on his. "I"m starving," he said, handing her a wad of paper towels.
She wiped her nose and sopped up her tears. As hungry as she was, she couldn"t eat, but she let him fix a bagel for her anyway. "Panera"s cinnamon bagels are my favorite," she said, her voice quavering.
"Mine too. See? We"re perfect for each other." He grinned. "Do you want to open your present or negotiate first?"
She sniffed and hiccupped. "Negotiate."
"I figured, what with you being a paralegal and all." He straightened and placed his hands on his knees, bracing himself. "OK, shoot. What do you need?"
"How do I know I can trust you when you"re working? Women are still going to throw themselves at you." She gestured toward him. "You"re hot, Sam, and you have this scruffy-little-boy-who-needs-care thing going on. It"s irresistible."
"You find me irresistible?" His grin grew wider. "You think I"m hot? How hot?"
"I do think so, and you are not helping your cause right now." Haley crossed her arms in front of her and lifted her chin.
"Aw, Haley. You"re pretty irresistible yourself." He laughed. "I love it when you look down your nose at me. You have no idea how much I"ve missed you."
He reached for her, and she held herself stiff in his arms. "Negotiations first."
"OK." He let her go, his expression solemn. "Haney men don"t stray. According to Gramps, fidelity is part of our DNA. When all that stuff happened on the job, I wasn"t involved with anyone, and I"ve never hooked up with a woman who was involved with anyone either. That"s not who I am. If I had been in a relationship, none of it would"ve happened. The women who threw themselves at me, what we did together, it was . . . empty. Physical gratification, and that"s all. I lost interest in empty the minute I laid eyes on you."
His gaze met and held hers. "When we made love, it blew me away, freaked me out and brought on a panic attack. Do you know why?"
"No, why?" Her heart danced around in her chest, her pitiful hopes soaring.
"Because making love to you was so much more than physical gratification. Intense doesn"t even begin to describe how I felt that night. I bonded with you at a soul-deep level, and it scared the s.h.i.t out of me." He took her hands in his. "I won"t do anything to threaten that bond, Haley. What I feel for you is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and I realize now what a fool I was to run from you the way I did. I won"t make the same mistake twice."
Her breath hitched, she wanted him so badly right now. "Have there been other women since we met?" Haley lifted her chin again, determined to get all of this out of the way. She stared deeply into his eyes, so she"d be able to tell if he told the truth or not.
One of the things she loved about Sam was his basic goodness, his forthright nature. What you saw was what you got with him. He was as salt-of-the-earth as they came, a throwback and a gentleman. She understood how he"d gotten caught up in the whole handsiest handyman thing, but that was over now. Still, she needed him to say the words-for his benefit as well as for hers.
"No, Haley." He continued to meet her gaze, his steady and sure. "I have not been with anyone else since the day we met, and it has nothing to do with flak from my grandfather or the stupid radio show. It has everything to do with you. My heart knew you were the one for me right away, but I fought it, and it took a while for my head to catch on." He ran a knuckle down her cheek, and she leaned into the caress.
"There have been offers, but even the thought of touching another woman makes my skin crawl. Plus, if you want, you can stop by my job sites to check on me at any time."
"Not necessary."
"Well, you still could." He waggled his eyebrows. "We could do some role-playing. Me, handyman; you, s.e.xy client in need of my special touch."
She laughed. "We"ll talk about that another time."
He blew out a breath. "How long before you trust me?"
"I did trust you until you pushed me away. I want to trust you again, Sam. I really do, but-"
"Let me prove to you I"m worthy of a second chance."
"All right." Her heart melted. "I"m willing to try."
"Good." He leaned back. "What else?"
"I understand about the trauma from your childhood and the panic attacks, but can we come up with a plan to deal with them that doesn"t include you running away from me?" Another tear slid down her cheek. "I have a hard time dealing with . . . with-"
"I"m sorry," he whispered. "I"m so sorry I hurt you."
"I know you are." She sighed. "What if when you feel a panic attack coming on, you tell me what"s going on? Maybe we can talk things through?"
"I swear to you that"s exactly what I"ll do." Sam lifted her to his lap.
Haley leaned against him, savoring his scent. He smelled like home. "There"s one more issue, and it"s huge," she murmured.
"Oh?" He kissed her.
She put her arms around him and kissed him back, so happy more tears flooded her eyes. She could hardly wrap her mind around everything he"d said, everything he was willing to do for her.
Sam broke the kiss and reached for a paper towel to dry her tears. He studied her. "Uh-oh." He sucked in a huge breath. "OK. Lay it on me. What is this huge issue I must face?"
"T-Trudy Cooper," she managed through more hiccups. "What about my mother?"
Sam chuckled and wrapped his arms around her. "She"s going to have to get used to me, because I"m not going anywhere."
"I"m not worried about her getting used to you; I"m worried about you getting used to her." She huffed. "You have no idea."
"I kind of do. It"s a nonissue." He grunted. He reached for the gift bag and handed it to her. "Open your present."
Haley scooted off his lap and removed the white tissue paper. She gasped. "A tool belt!" She laughed. "I love it. I absolutely love it." She hugged the stiff leather to her chest.
"There"s more," Sam said, putting his arm around her. He reached into the bag and pulled out an envelope. "Here," he said, handing it to her.
Haley opened the flap and pulled out the thick folded sheets. Flattening them on her lap, she frowned. "This is from Haney & Sons, an estimate form."
"Yep. Read." He ran his hand up and down her arm.
"One thousand forty hours of handyman/carpenter labor at no charge, no matter what." Her eyes widened. "That"s a lot of hours."
"I figured it out. If I put in twenty hours a week, it"ll take me a year. I hope that will be long enough for you to see you can place your faith in me."
She smiled, unable to speak for the strong emotions swirling through her.
"Can I start proving myself right away, Ms. Cooper?"
"What did you have in mind?" she asked as he swept her into his arms.
"Let"s spend the weekend together. We can go snowmobiling today, and-"
"It"s far too cold out for snowmobiling today." She shrugged and sent him a sultry look.