The nearest relatives and friends of the family are invited to partake of the _Bowbhat_ or bridal dinner consisting of boiled rice, dhall, fish and vegetable curries, frumenty, _polowya_, &c., served to the guests by the bride"s own hands, which is tantamount to her recognition as one of the members of the family. To eat _unna_ (boiled rice) is one thing and to eat _jalpan_ (loochees and sweetmeats) is quite another. A Hindoo can take the latter at the house of one of inferior caste, but he would lose his caste if he were to eat the former at the same place. Even among equals of the same caste, and much more among inferiors, boiled rice is not taken without mature consideration, and some sort of compensation from the inferior to the superior for condescending to eat the same. The compensation is made in money and clothes according to the rank of the _Koolins_. Before departing, the guests invited to the _Bowbhat_ at which they eat boiled _rice_ from the hands of the bride, give her one, two, or more Rupees each.
The day following is a very interesting day or rather night, being the night of _Foolsajya_[42] or flowery bed. At about eight o"clock in the evening the father of the bride sends to his son-in-law ample presents of all sorts of fruits in or out of season, home and bazar made sweetmeats, some in the shape of men, women, fishes, birds, carriages, horses, elephants, &c., &c., each weighing from 6 to 10 lbs., sweet and sour milk (_batasa_,) a kind of sweet cakes, _chineere moorkey_, paddy, fried and sugared comfits, spices of all sorts, betel and prepared betel-nuts, sets of ornaments and toys made of cutch, representing railway carriages, gardens, house, dancing girls, &c., imitation pearl necklaces made of rice, imitation gold necklace made of paddy, colored imitation fruits made of curd[43], b.u.t.ter, sugar, sugar-candy, _chana_ (coagulated milk), otto of rose, rose-water, chaplets of flowers and flower ornaments, in great variety, Dacca and embroidered Benares _dhooty_ and _saree_ for the boy and the girl, clothes for all the elderly females, couch-cot, beddings, sets of silver and bra.s.s utensils, carpet, embroidered shoes, gold watch and chain, &c., &c. Between 125 and 150 servants, male and female, carry these articles, some in banghy, some in baskets, and some in large bra.s.s _thalas_ or trays. These presents being properly arranged in the _Thacoor-dallan_ the male friends of the family are invited to come down and see them, some praising the choice a.s.sortment and large variety, as well as the taste of the father of the bride, while others more calculating make an estimate as to the probable cost of the whole. These articles are then removed into the inner apartment, where the females, naturally loquacious, criticise them according to their judgment; the simple and the good-natured say they are good and satisfactory, others more fastidious find fault with them. They are, however, soon silenced by the prudent remarks of the adult male members of the family. The servants are next fed and dismissed with presents of money, some receiving one Rupee each being the servants of the bride"s family, some half a Rupee being the servants of other families. They then take back all the bra.s.s _thalas_ and trays, leaving the baskets behind.
Here we come to the climax of interest. The bridegroom and the bride, adorned with a wealth of flower wreaths, and dressed in red-bordered Dacca clothes, with sandal paste on their foreheads, and sitting side by side in the presence of females whose husbands are alive, are desired to eat even a small portion of the articles of food that have been presented, and what is the most interesting feature in the scene, is that the former helps the latter and the latter helps the former, both throwing aside for the first time the restraint which modesty naturally imposes on such an occasion. To be more explicit, the boy eats one half of a sweetmeat and gives the other half to the girl, and the girl in her turn is constrained to follow the same example, though with a blushing countenance and a veiled face. Female modesty predominates in this isolated instance. If the boy give blushingly, the girl gives shyly and tremulously; in spite of her best efforts, she cannot consistently make up her mind to lift up her right hand and stretch it towards the mouth of her husband, but is after all helped to do so by a woman, whose husband is alive. This process of eating[44] and mutual help, when three days have scarcely pa.s.sed over their heads, naturally gives rise to joy, merriment and laughter among the females; and one amongst them exclaims; "look, look, _Soudaminey_, how our new _Radha_ and _Krishna_ are sitting side by side and eating together; may they live long and sport thus."
The mother of the boy watches the progress of the interesting scene, and in transports of joy wishes for their continued felicity. The young and sprightly, who have once pa.s.sed through the same process, and whose hearts are enlivened by the reminiscences of past occurrences, too recent to be forgotten, tarry in the room to the last moment, till sleep weighing down the eyelids of the happy pair, the mother of the bridegroom gently calls them aside, and leaves them to rest undisturbed.
In accordance with the old established custom, their bed is strewn with flowers and their bodies perfumed with otto of rose. This is not enough for the sprightly ladies, the complement of whose amus.e.m.e.nt and merriment is not yet full. Even if the night be a chilly one, regardless of the effects of exposure, they must _aripato_, or jealously watch through the crevices of windows, whether or not the boy talks to the girl, and if he do, what is the nature of the talk. Thus they pa.s.s the whole night prying and laughing, chatting with each other on subjects suited to their taste and mode of thought. When morning dawns, the boy opening the door goes outside, and the girl slowly walks to her maid-servants, who accompanied her from her father"s house. Her whole desire is to get back to her mother and sisters; nothing can reconcile her to her new home; novelty has no charms for her except in her paternal domicile. She repeatedly asks her maid-servants as to when the _Palkee_ will come, and what is the time fixed for her _jattra_, (departure); the maid-servants, consoling her, induce her to wash her mouth and break her fast with a few sweetmeats. In obedience to the kind instruction of her mother, she sits closely veiled and talks little, if at all, even to young girls of her tender age. She next takes her _vojan_, or dinner, and to while away time, little girls try to amuse her with toys or a game at cards; at length the time comes for the toilet work, and the arrival of the covered _Mohapaya_ is announced. She again takes a few sweetmeats, and making a _p.r.o.nam_ (bow) to all her superiors, is helped into the Palkee by her mother-in-law, a female having previously washed her feet. The usual benediction on such an occasion is, "may you continue to live under the roof of your father-in-law in the enjoyment of conjugal bliss."
On the arrival of the Mahapaya at her father"s house, almost all the females come out for a moment, taking care previously to have the suddur door bolted and the Palkee bearers removed. They cheerfully welcome the return of the girl home. Her mother, unveiling her face and taking her in her arms, thus affectionately addresses her, "my _Bacha_, (child) my _sonarchand_ (golden moon) where have you been? Did not your heart mourn for us?" Our house looked _khakha_ (desolate) in your absence. "What did they (bridegroom"s family) say about our _dayway thowya_ (presents)? Did they express any _nindya_, (dissatisfaction)? How have the women behaved towards you? How are your _sa.s.sooree_ and _sasoor_ (mother-in-law and father-in-law,)?" Thus interrogating, they all walk inside and, making the girl change her silk clothes and sit near them, begin to examine and criticise the ornaments given her by her father-in-law. "Let us see the pearl necklace _first_," says Bhoopada? "The pearls are not smooth and round, what may be its value?" _Geeri Balla_, taking her own pearl necklace from off her neck, compares the one with the other. They unanimously p.r.o.nounce the latter to be more costly than the former; be that as it may, its value cannot be less than Rupees 500. They next take in hand the _pitj.a.pa_, ornament for the back, looking at it for a few minutes they pa.s.s their opinion, saying it is heavier and better made than that of _Geeri Balla_. The _Sita haur_, or _Jarawya_[45] (gold necklace) afterwards attracts their attention, and they roughly estimate its price at Rupees 350. It is not a little surprising that though these women are never permitted to go beyond the precincts of the zenana, yet their valuation of ornaments, unless it be a _jarawya bijoutry_ of enormous cost, such as is worn on grand occasions by the wife of a "_big swell_," often bears the nearest approximation to the intrinsic worth of an article. Thus almost every ornament, one after another, forms the subject of their criticism. When their discussion is over, the girl is desired to take the greater portion of her ornaments off her body--save a pair of gold _balla_[46] on her hands and a necklace on her neck--and leave them to the care of her mother. She then mixes in the company of other little girls of her tender age, some married, some unmarried; who curiously ask her all about her new friends, until their talk resumes its usual childish topics. She pa.s.ses the day among them very pleasantly, so much so that when her mother calls her to take her luncheon, she stays back and says only "_jachee, jachee_," (coming, coming,) her mind being so much absorbed in her juvenile sports.
The next day is again a day of trial for her, she has to go for _gharbasath_[47] to her father-in-law"s house. On awaking, she remembers where she will have to go in course of the day; a sensation bordering on sulkiness almost unconsciously steals upon her, and as time pa.s.ses it increases in intensity. About four in the afternoon the arrival of the _Mahapaya_ is announced, her sister combs her hair and adorns her person with all the ornaments she has lately received. Dressed in her bridal silk _saree_, her eyes seem charged with tears, and symptoms of reluctance are visible in every step; but go she must; no alternative is left her. So her mother helps her into the _Mahapaya_ and orders a durwan and two maid-servants to accompany her, not forgetting to a.s.sure her that she is to be brought back the next day. Despite this a.s.surance, she whimpers and weeps, and is consoled on the way by her maid-servants.
At her father-in-law"s, young girls of her age being impatient to receive her, are seen moving backwards and forwards to get a glimpse of the _Mahapaya_, the arrival of which is a signal for almost all the ladies to come out and greet the object of their affection. Her mother-in-law steps forward, and taking up the girl in her arms walks inside, followed by a train of other ladies, whose hearts are exhilarated again at the prospect of merriment at the expense of the married pair. When the time comes round for them to retire, the same scene of _arepata_ is re-enacted by the mirth-loving ladies, with all their "quips and cranks and wanton wiles." At day-break, the girl, as must naturally be expected, quietly walks to her confidential maid-servant, and whispers her to go and tell her mother to send the _Mahapaya_ Palkee as early as possible. Bearing her message, one of them goes for the purpose but the mother replies, How can she send the Palkee except at the lucky hour after dinner? When this reply is communicated to the girl, she sits sulkily aloof, until her mother-in-law cajoles her and offers for her breakfast a few sweetmeats with milk. After a great deal of hesitation she complies with her request, which, to be effective, is always accompanied by a threat of not allowing her to return to her father"s in the event of a refusal. About ten o"clock she takes her regular breakfast as described before, but she does not eat with zest, for whatever delicacy may be offered her, it palls upon her taste; continually brooding on the idea of a return home. This is the day when the bridegroom and the bride untie from each other"s hand the yellow home-spun _charka_ thread with which they were entwined on the day of marriage, as a mark of their indissoluble union. At length the lucky hour arrives, and with it the _Mahapaya_ comes. The very announcement of the fact revives the drooping spirits of the bride.
After going through the usual toilet work and a slight repast, she gets into the covered conveyance, a.s.sisted by her mother-in-law and other ladies. When she returns home, she changes her bridal silk garment and strips herself of the greater portion of her ornaments. Now uncontrolled and unreserved, she breathes a free, genial, atmosphere; her mother and sisters welcome her with their heartfelt congratulations, and she moves about with her wonted buoyancy of spirit. Throwing aside her sulkiness, she commingles readily in conversation with all around her. She praises the amiable qualities of her father-in-law and mother-in-law, and the very kind treatment she has had while under their roof, but she keeps her reserve when even the slightest allusion is made to her husband, because this is to her young mind forbidden ground on which she cannot venture to tread without violating the sacred rules of conventionalism.
At the marriages of rich families, as will be understood from our description, vast sums of money are expended. The greatest expense is incurred in purchasing jewels and making presents of bra.s.s utensils, shawls, clothes, sweetmeats, &c., to Brahmins, Koolins, _Ghatacks_ and numerous friends, relatives and acquaintances, besides illuminations, fireworks and all the pageantry of a pompous procession. In and about Calcutta, the Rajahs of Shobabazar, the Dey family, the Mullick family, the Tagore family, the Dutt family, the Ghosal family, and others, are reported to have spent from fifty thousand rupees to two lakhs (5,000 to 20,000) and upwards in the marriages of their sons. Whilst writing this I am told Maharajah Jotendro Mohun Tagore is said to have expended about two lakhs of rupees in the marriage of his nephew. The most interesting feature in the extraordinary munificence of the Moharajah is, as I have learnt, his princely contribution to the "District Charitable Society,"--an act of benevolence which has shewn, in a very conspicuous manner, not only his good sense, but his warm sympathy with the cause of suffering humanity. It were to be wished that his n.o.ble example would exercise some influence on other Hindoo millionaires. If a t.i.the of such marriage expenses were devoted to Public Charity, the poor and helpless would ceaselessly chant the names of such donors, and the reward would be something better than the transient admiration of the idle populace.
For one or two years after marriage, the girl generally remains under the paternal roof, occasionally paying a visit to her father-in-law"s as need be. As she advances in years, her repugnance--the effect of early marriage--to live with her husband is gradually overcome, till time and circ.u.mstances completely reconcile her to her future home. Her affection grows, and she learns to appreciate the grave meaning of a married life.
She is still, however, but a girl, in habit and ideas, when the real union of wedded life or the second marriage takes place, which is solemnised when she arrives at the age of p.u.b.erty, say at her twelfth or thirteenth year. There is a popular belief, whether erroneous or not it is not for me to decide, that in this country heat accelerates growth, and hence the Hindoo Shasturs enjoin the necessity of early marriage, the injurious consequences of which are chiefly seen in the weak const.i.tution of the offspring, and the premature decay of the mother.
So abominable are some of the ceremonies connected with this event in the life of a female that to describe them fully would be an outrage on common decency.[48] I will, therefore, confine myself to a description of the ceremonies, entirely abstaining from an allusion to the abominations connected therewith. A general depravity of manners can only account for the prevalence of this obnoxious inst.i.tution, in the eradication of which every Hindoo whose moral sense is not entirely blunted ought to co-operate. As the delay of the union is in the belief of a Hindoo an unpardonable sin, the fact referred to is announced by the sound of a conch, and the bodies of all the females are smeared with turmeric water,--an unmistakable evidence of joy. The news is also conveyed to the nearest relatives by the family barber who receives presents of clothes and money. It is quite evident from the silence of the Hindoo Shastur on the subject that the origin of the female rites is comparatively recent. Irrespective of the religious observances, it affords an opportunity to the zenana females to indulge in obscene depravities, the outcome of vitiated feeling.
The poor girl is placed on this occasion in the corner of a dark, dingy room, with a small round pebble before her, shut out from the gaze of men, and surrounded on four sides by four pieces of slender split bamboos about one yard long fastened by a piece of thread. This is called the _teerghur_ mentioned before. Being regarded as unclean, she remains in this room for four days without a bedding or a musquito curtain, and no one touches her, not even her sisters. She is forbidden to see the sun, her diet is confined to boiled rice, milk, sugar, curd, and tamarind without salt. On the morning of the fifth day, she is taken to a neighbouring tank, accompanied by five women whose husbands are alive. Smeared with turmeric water, they all bathe and return home, throwing away the mat and other things that were in the room. She then sits in another room, and a very low caste woman, in the presence of five other respectable females (not widows), performs a series of what is vulgarly called _Nith Kith_,[49] purely female rites, which are exceedingly indecent and immoral, so much so that a woman who has any sense of shame feels quite disgusted. During the day, according to previous invitations, numerous female guests a.s.semble and partake of a good dinner provided for the occasion. They are also entertained with songs, dancing and music, all done by professional females. When the guests retire, they congratulate the girl with the usual benediction to the effect,--"may you be blessed with a male child."
After a day or two the religious part of the ceremony is performed, which is free from obscenity. On this occasion, the officiating priest reading, and the bridegroom repeating the service after him, presents offerings of rice, sweetmeats, plantain, clothes, doov-gra.s.s, fruits and flowers to the following G.o.ds and G.o.ddesses, _viz._, _Shasthi_, _Marcando_, _Soorja_, _Soobhachini_, _Gannesh_, and the nine planets, much in the same way as when the nuptial rites were formally solemnized.
After this the hands of the bridegroom and the bride are joined together, and the priest repeating certain formulas, the bridegroom then causes a ring to slide between the bride"s silk garment and her waist.
Twenty-one small images (twenty male and one female) made of pounded rice are placed before the happy pair, and the priest feeds the bride with sugar, clarified b.u.t.ter, milk, and the urine and dung of a calf to ensure the purity of the offspring. They then partake of a good dinner, the bride taking the residue of the bridegroom"s meal. The twenty-one images are put into the room of the pair as a token of happy offspring, and the proportion of the males to the females, shews the premium and discount at which they are respectively held. The bride now takes up her permanent residence in the house of her father-in-law and becomes one of his family.
For one twelve month after the marriage, the parents of the bridegroom and the bride have to make exchanges of suitable presents to one another at all the grand festivals. At the _first tatto_ or present, besides clothes, heaps of fruits, sweetmeats, English toys and sundries, the father of the youth gives one complete set of miniature silver and bra.s.s utensils to the girl, while in return the father of the girl sends such presents as a table, chair, writing desk, silver inkstand, gold and silver pencil cases, stationery, perfumery, &c., in addition to an equally large quant.i.ty of choice eatables of all kinds too numerous to be detailed. The most expensive presents are two, namely, the _sittory_ or winter present and the Doorga Poojah present, the former requiring a Cashmere shawl, _choga_ and sundry other articles of use, and the latter, fine Dacca and silk clothes to the whole family, including men, women and children.
It is a lamentable fact that though a Hindoo bears a great love and affection to his wife while she lives, yet in the event of her death, the effects of these amiable qualities are too soon effaced by the strong influence of a new pa.s.sion, and another union is very speedily formed. Even during the period of his mourning, which lasts one month, proposals for a second marriage are entertained, if not by the husband himself, by his father or elder brother. When the remembrance of this heavy domestic bereavement is so very fresh in the memory, it is highly unbecoming and ungenerous to open or enter into a matrimonial negotiation, and have it consummated immediately after the _asuchi_ or mourning is over. A wife is certainly not a beast of burden that is no sooner removed by death than it may be replaced by another. She is a being whose joy and sorrow, happiness and misery, should be identical with her husband"s, and he is a savage in the widest sense of the word who does not cherish a sacred regard for her memory after her death. In regard to the whole conduct and relations of the married life, Hindoos cannot have the golden rule too strongly impressed: "Let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself; and let the wife see that she reverence her husband."
FOOTNOTES:
[15] I may be permitted here to observe _en pa.s.sant_ that a civilized nation in describing the beauty of a woman, is sometimes apt to adopt the flowery language of Hafiz. At a Ministerial banquet sometime ago, the Lord Mayor of London was reported to have said about the Princess of Wales; "she is perfection, she sparkles like a gem of fifty facets, she is light when she smiles and she is beauty whenever you see her."
[16] Presents of sweetmeats, fruits, clothes, flowers and sundry other articles on a pretty grand scale from the bride to the bridegroom, which will be described more in detail afterwards.
[17] A Rajpoot prince was said to have given a lakh of Rupees to a bard in order to purchase his rhythmic plaudits in a respectable a.s.semblage of his countrymen.
[18] If we consult properly the pages of the history of this country from the earliest period, we shall find abundant proofs of the very great influence of women on Hindoo society in general. I cannot do better than give the following quotation from Tod"s Annals of Rajasthan.
"What led to the wars of Rama? The rape of Sita. What rendered deadly the feuds of the Yadus? The insult of Dropadi. What made prince Nala an exile from Nirwar? His love for Damayanti. What made Raja Bharti abandon the throne of Avanti? The loss of Pingala. What subjected the Hindu to the dominion of the Islamite? The rape of the princess of Canouj. In fine, the cause which overturned kingdoms, commuted the sceptre to the pilgrim"s staff and formed the ground-work of all their grand epics, is woman."
[19] Besides the marriage expenses, this man gave to his five sons-in-law fifty thousand Rupees each, as well as a house worth ten thousand Rupees more.
[20] A thin stuff like paper with which Hindoo females redden their feet. A widow is not allowed to use it. In the absence of shoes, which they are forbidden to wear, this red color heightens the beauty of their tiny feet. It is applied once a week.
[21] In the selection of a bridegroom, outward appearances are not always to be trusted. The late Baboo Aushotosh Dey, a millionaire, had a very beautiful grand-daughter to give in marriage. As was to be expected, _Ghatacks_ and _Ghatkees_ had been rummaging the whole town and its suburbs for a suitable match, one who would possess all the recommendations of a good education, a respectable family, and a fair, prepossessing appearance--qualities which are rarely combined in one.
Among others, the name of the late Honorable Baboo Dwarkey Nauth Mitter (afterwards a Judge of the Calcutta High Court,) was mentioned. He was then a bachelor, and his reputation as a scholar spread far and wide.
Somehow or other he was brought into the house of Baboo Aushotosh Dey for the purpose of giving the ladies an opportunity of seeing him. His scholastic attainments were p.r.o.nounced to be of very superior order, but not being blessed with a prepossessing appearance, he was rejected.
[22] In Hindoo marriages and other ceremonies of a similar nature _red_ color is indispensably necessary for all kinds of wearing apparel, even the invitation cards must be on _red_ paper. Red color is the sign of joy and gaiety as opposed to black, which is held to be ominous.
[23] A collirium case which contains the black dye with which native females daub their own and their childrens" eyelids.
[24] The Bengalis have become so much anglicised of late that they have not hesitated to give an English name to their sweetmeats. When the late Lord Canning was the Governor General of India, it was said his Baboo made a present of some native sweetmeats to Lady Canning, who was kindly pleased to accept it. Hence the sweetmeat is called "Lady Canning," and to this day no grand feast among the Bengalis is considered as complete unless the "Lady Canning" sort is offered to the guests. The man that first made it is said to have gained much money by its sale. It is not the savoury taste of the thing that makes it so popular, but the name of the ill.u.s.trious Lady. While treating the subject of Hindoo entertainment, it would not be out of place to make a few observations on a branch of it, for the information of European readers. At all public entertainments of the kind I am referring to, respectable Hindoos strictly confine themselves to _vegetable curries_. Though those of the _Sakto_ denomination (the followers of Kali and Doorga) have no religious scruples to use goat-meat (male) and onion in the shape of curry among select friends at home, they dare not expose themselves by offering it to strangers. Hence, in large a.s.semblies, they strictly confine themselves to vegetable curries of different kinds. The principle is good, were it honestly observed; because meat, if not necessarily, yet generally, is the concomitant of _drink_. _Privately_, however, both meat and drink are largely used. Respectable females are entirely free as yet from these carnal indulgences.
[25] The cause of the fear is as follows: When Kartick (the G.o.d of beauty and the son of the G.o.ddess Doorga) went out to marry, he had forgotten to take with him the usual pair of nut-crackers. When he remembered this on the way, he immediately returned home, and to his great surprise, saw his mother eating with her ten hands, she being a ten handed G.o.ddess. On asking the reason, he was told that it was lest, when he should bring his wife, she would not give her the proper quant.i.ty of food. Under what strange hallucinations, even the G.o.ds and G.o.ddesses of the Hindoos laboured!
[26] The _chamurs_ are fans made of the tails of Thibet cows.
[27] Every commonplace minutiae in the domestic economy of a Hindoo family is fraught with meaning: the nuts are kept all-day in the bride"s mouth and are saturated with her saliva. When cut by the hand of the bridegroom they are supposed to possess a peculiar virtue. Somehow or other, the bridegroom must be made to use them with the betel, in spite of the warning of his mother, forbidding him to use them on any account.
When used, his love for his wife is supposed to be intensified, which is prejudicial to the interests of his mother.
[28] The articles consist of Silver Ghara, Gharoo, Batha, Thalla, Batti, Gla.s.s, Raykab, Dahur, Dipay and Pickdan.
[29] I have known a young collegian of a rather humourous disposition bleat like a lamb at the time of marriage, to the great amus.e.m.e.nt of all the females, except his mother-in-law, who, simple as she was, took the matter in a serious light, and felt herself almost dejected on account of the great stupidity of her son-in-law (for she could not take it in any other sense), but her dejection gave place to joy when in the _Basurghur_--the sleeping room of the happy pair for the night--she heard him outwit all the females present. It is obvious that the meaning of this part of the female rite is to render the husband tame and docile as a lamb, especially in his treatment of his wife.
[30] In former days when education was but very scantily cultivated, unpleasant quarrels were known to have arisen between the two parties from very trivial circ.u.mstances. The friends of the bridegroom, often pluming themselves on their special prerogatives as members of the strong party readily resented even the slightest insult offered them rather incautiously by the bridal party. These altercations sometimes terminated in blows, if not in lacerated limbs. Instead of waiting till the conclusion of the ceremony, the whole of the bridegroom"s party has been known to return home without dinner, to the great mortification of the other party. There is a common saying among the Bengalees that "he who is the enemy of the house should go to a marriage party." It was a common sport with the friends of the bridegroom to cut with a pair of scissors the bedding at the house of the bride. But happily such practices are of rare occurrence now-a-days.
[31] An English gentleman, who, to a versatile genius, combined an intelligent knowledge of, and a familiar acquaintance with, the manners and customs of the country, once advised a Native friend of his to go to England and other great countries on the continent with a number of Hindoo females and exhibit there all the important social and domestic ceremonials of this country in a place of public resort. The very circ.u.mstance of Hindoo females performing those rites in the manner in which they are popularly celebrated here, would be sure to attract a very large audience. The marriage ceremonies alone would form a regular night of enchantment and amus.e.m.e.nt. The time will certainly come when the realization of such an ingenious idea would no longer be held Utopian.
[32] Sweeper-caste females.
[33] According to the prescribed rules of the Hindoo society, a mother-in-law is not permitted to appear before her son-in-law; it is not only considered indecorous, but is a.s.sociated with something else that is scandalous; hence she always keeps her distance from her son-in-law, but on this particular night, her presence in the room with other females is quite consistent with feminine propriety. In the case of a very young son-in-law, however, a departure from this rule is not reprehensible.
[34] In the suburbs and rural districts of Bengal, females, more particularly among the Brahmin cla.s.s, are tacitly allowed to have so much liberty on this special occasion that they, putting under the bushel their instinctive modesty, entertain the bridegroom not only with epithalamiums but with other amorous songs, having reference to the diversions of Krishna with his mistress, and the numerous milk-maids.
Under an erroneous impression of singing holy songs they unwittingly trumpet the profligate character of their G.o.d. These songs are generally known by the names of _sakhisungbad_ and _biraha_; the former as the designation implies, consist of news as conveyed by the princ.i.p.al milk-maids regarding his mistress, to whom he oftentimes proved false, and the latter of disappointed love, which broadly exhibits the prominent features of his sensuous life. They feel such an interest in these low entertainments, that under the hallowed name of religion they are led to indirectly perpetrate a crime. Frail as women naturally are, the example of such a G.o.d, combined with the sanction of religion, has undoubtedly a tendency to impair the moral influence of a virtuous life.
I have always regretted this from my personal observation, but to strike a death blow at the root of the evil must be the work of ages. The essential elements of the Hindoo character must be thoroughly recast.
[35] The fee for the trouble of removing the bed and keeping up the night, the ladies who remained in the bed-chamber are justly ent.i.tled to it for their pains; a widow, be it observed, is not permitted to touch the bed lest her misfortune would befall the bride, but she gets, however, her portion or share of the fee.
[36] It should be mentioned that a female after her marriage is not allowed to utter the name of her husband or of any of his male and female relatives save those who are younger than she. There is no harm done in taking the name of a husband, but through a sense of shame she does not repeat it.
[37] The _Urghi_ consists of _dooav_ gra.s.s, rice and _alta_ (a thin red stuff made of cotton like paper with which Hindoo females daub their feet,) previously consecrated to the G.o.ddess Doorga, and is supposed to possess a peculiar virtue in promoting felicity and relieving distress.
[38] Hindoos are so pa.s.sionately fond of their children, male or female, that they can but ill brook the idea of a segregation, even under circ.u.mstances where it is unavoidable. Hence wealthy families often keep their sons-in-law under their own roof. Sometimes this is done from vanity. Such sons-in-law generally become indolent and effeminate, dest.i.tute alike of mental activity and physical energy. They eat, drink, smoke, play and sleep. Fattening on the ample resources of their father-in-law they contract demoralizing habits, which engender vice and profligacy. The late Baboos Ramdoolal Dey, Ramruttun Roy, Prannauth Chowdry, the Tagore families, the old Rajahs of Calcutta and some of the newly fledged English made Rajahs and others, countenanced this practice, and the result is, they have left with but few exceptions a number of men singularly deficient in good moral character. These men are called _Ghar Jamayes_, or home bred sons-in-law, which is a term of reproach among all persons who have a spark of independence about them.
The late Baboo Dinno Bundho Mitter, the celebrated author of "_Nil Durpun_," strongly satirises such characters in a book called "_Jamay Bareek_." While on this subject I may as well mention here that Baboo Ramdoolal Dey of Calcutta, who had risen from obscurity to great opulence, had five daughters, to each of whom he gave a marriage dowry of Rupees 50,000 in Government securities, and 10,000 Rupees for a house. Of course all his sons-in-law were first cla.s.s _Koolins_, and used to live under the roof of their father-in-law. Some of their sons and grandsons are now ranked amongst the Hindoo millionaires of this great City, while most of the members of the original stock have dwindled into insignificance, strikingly ill.u.s.trating the instability of fortune.
[39] The use of an iron bangle or bracelet has a deep meaning, it outlasts gold and silver ones. A girl may wear gold ornaments set in precious stones to the value of ten or fifteen thousand Rupees, but an _iron_ bangle worth a pice,--a veritable insignia of _ayestreehood_ opposed to widowhood--is indispensable to a married woman for its comparatively durable quality. A young widow may wear gold bangles till her twentieth year, but she is not privileged to put on an iron bangle after the death of her husband.
[40] In the early part of the British Government in Bengal, _cowries_ were the common currency of the Province in the ordinary transactions of life. People used to make their _hautbazar_ (market) with _cowries_, and a family that made a daily bazar with sixteen or eighteen _kahuns_ of cowries, equal to one rupee or so, was reckoned a very respectable family. The prices of provisions ranged nearly one-third of what they now are. Even the revenues of Government were sometimes paid in cowries in the Eastern districts, namely, a.s.sam, Sylhet, &c.
[41] There is a custom amongst the Hindoos that a married woman considers it no disgrace but rather an act of merit to eat the residue of her husband"s meal in his absence; so great is the respect in which a husband is held, and so warm the sympathy existing between them. Even an elderly woman, the mother of five or six children, cheerfully partakes of the residue, as if it were the orts of G.o.ds.
[42] It is a noteworthy fact that in contracting matrimonial alliances, some families placed in mediocre circ.u.mstances are satisfied with taking a certain sum of money in lieu of the presents mentioned, partly because the articles are mostly of a perishable nature, and partly because the making presents of money to numerous servants for their trouble and feeding them, is regarded more as a tax than anything else. They prefer utility to show. Even in such cases of verbal contract, the father of the bride must send at least thirty servants with presents, besides 100 or 150 Rupees in cash as is stipulated before.
[43] In making the above imitations, Hindoo females exhibit an astonishing degree of skill and ingenuity which, if directed by the hand of an expert, is capable of still further improvement. Naturally and instinctively they evince a great apt.i.tude for learning all sorts of handiwork.
[44] It is perhaps not generally known that the dinner of a native, Hindoo or Mussulman, male or female, is not considered complete, until he chews his _pan beera_ or betel. The bridegroom after eating and washing his mouth chews his usual _pan_, and is asked to give a portion thereof to the bride; he hesitates at first, but consents at length to give it into the right hand of his elder brother"s wife, who forcibly thrusts the same into the mouth of the bride, observing at the same time that their mutual repugnance on this score will soon be overcome when their incipient affection grows into true love.