"And I live with her. It is for all day and every day."
"Come, come, be reasonable. We"re not lovesick boys."
"If I touch a piece of bread in giving it to her, she cuts herself another slice."
How I understood you in that, O dainty cruel Coralie!
"And that devil comes and laughs at me."
"He needn"t come, if you don"t wish it."
"Perhaps it"s better than being alone with her," he groaned. "And she doesn"t deceive me. Ah, I should like sometimes to say to her, "Do what you like; amuse yourself, I shall not see. It wouldn"t matter." If she did that, she mightn"t be so hard to me. You wonder that I say this, that I feel it like this? Well, I"m a man; I"m not a dog. I don"t dirty people when I touch them."
I got up and walked to the hearthrug. I stood there with my back to him.
He blew his nose loudly, then took the bottle; I heard the wine trickle in the gla.s.s and the sound of his noisy swallowing. There was a long silence. He struck a match and lit his cigar. Then he folded up the notes I had given him, and the clasp of his pocket-book clicked.
"I have to go with her to rehearsal," he said.
I turned round and walked toward him. His uneasy deference returned, he jumped up with a bow and an air of awkward embarra.s.sment.
"Your Majesty is very good. Your Majesty pardons me? I have abused your Majesty"s kindness. You understand, I have n.o.body to speak to."
"I understand very well, M. Struboff. I am very sorry. Be kind to her and she will change toward you."
He shook his head ponderously.
"She won"t change," he said, and stood shuffling his feet as he waited to be dismissed. I gave him my hand. (O Coralie, you and your bread! I understood.)
"She"ll get accustomed to you," I murmured, with a reminiscence of William Adolphus.
"I think she hates me more every day." He bowed over my hand, and backed out with clumsy ceremony.
I flung myself on the sofa. Was not the burlesque well conceived and deftly fashioned? True, I did not seem to myself much like Struboff.
There was no comfort in that; Struboff did not seem to himself much like what he was. "Am I repulsive, am I loathsome?" he cried indignantly, and my diplomacy could answer only, "What a question, my dear M. Struboff!"
If I cried out, asking whether I were so unattractive that my bride must shrink from me, a thousand shocked voices would answer in like manner, "Oh, sire, what a question!"
Later in the day I called on Coralie and found her alone. Speaking as though from my own observation, I taxed her roundly with her coldness to Struboff and with allowing him to perceive her distaste for him. I instanced the matter of the bread, declaring that I had noticed it when I breakfasted with them. Coralie began to laugh.
"Do I do that? Well, perhaps I do. You"ve felt his hand? It is not very pleasant. Yes, I think I do take another piece."
"He observes it."
"Oh, I think not. He doesn"t care. Besides he must know. Have I pretended to care for him? Heavens, I"m no hypocrite. We knew very well what we wanted, he and I. We have each got it. But kisses weren"t in the bargain."
"And you kiss n.o.body now?"
"No," she answered simply and without offence. "No. Wetter doesn"t ask me, and you know I never felt love for him; if he did ask me, I wouldn"t. These things are very troublesome. And you don"t ask me."
"No, I don"t, Coralie," said I, smiling.
"I might kiss you, perhaps."
"I have something to give too, have I?"
"No, that would be no use. I should make nothing out of you. And the rest is nonsense. No, I wouldn"t kiss you, if you did ask."
"Perhaps Wetter will ask you now. I have lent your husband money, and he will pay Wetter off."
"Ah, perhaps he will then; he is curious, Wetter. But I shan"t kiss him.
I am very well as I am."
"Happy?"
"Yes; at least I should be, if it were not for Struboff. He annoys me very much. You know, it"s like an ugly picture in the room, or a dog one hates. He doesn"t say or do much, but he"s there always. It frets me."
"Madame, my sympathy is extreme."
"Oh, your sympathy! You"re laughing at me. I don"t care. You"re going to be married yourself."
"What you imply is not very rea.s.suring."
"It"s all a question of what one expects," she said with a shrug.
"My wife won"t mind me touching her bread?" I asked anxiously.
"Oh, no, she won"t mind that. You"re not like that. Oh, no, it won"t be in that way."
"I declare I"m much comforted."
"Indeed you needn"t fear that. In some things all women are alike. You needn"t fear anything of that sort. No woman could feel that about you."
"I grow happier every moment. I shouldn"t have liked Elsa to cut herself another slice."
Coralie laughed, sniffed the roses I had brought, and laughed again, as she said:
"In fact I do. I remember it now. I didn"t mean to be rude; it came natural to do it; as if the piece had fallen on the floor, you know."
Evidently Struboff had a.n.a.lyzed his wife"s feelings very correctly. I doubted both the use and the possibility of enlightening her as to his.
Kisses were not in the bargain, she would say. After all, the desire for affection was something of an incongruity in Struboff, an alien weed trespa.s.sing on the ground meant for music and for money. I could hardly blame her for refusing to foster the intruder. I felt that I should be highly unjust if, later on, I laid any blame on Elsa for not satisfying a desire for affection should I chance to feel such a thing. And as to the bread Coralie had quite rea.s.sured me. I looked at her. She was smiling in quiet amus.e.m.e.nt. Evidently her fancy was tickled by the matter of the bread.
"You notice a thing like that," she said. "But he doesn"t. Imagine his noticing it!"
"I can imagine it very well."
"Oh no, impossible. He has no sensibility. You laugh? Well, yes, perhaps it"s lucky."
During the next two or three days I was engaged almost unintermittently with business which followed me from home, and had no opportunity of seeing more of my friends. I regretted this the less, because I seemed now to be possessed of the state of affairs. I resigned myself to the necessity of a speedy return to Forstadt. Already Bederhof was in despair at my absence, and excuses failed me. I could not tell him that to return to Forstadt was to begin the preparations for execution; a point at which hesitation must be forgiven in the condemned. But before I went I had a talk with Wetter.