"I asked you how you would like a donkey, instead of a horse, meaning, in fact, to ask if Fodder would, for the time, answer your warlike and gallant purposes? If so, my dear fellow, I"ll lend him to you--Tom can go back to the farm in the wagon--it comes and goes every day."
Tom looked at Mr. Jinks" legs, scratched his head, and grinning from ear to ear, added the a.s.surance that he was rather pleased to get rid of Fodder, who was too small for a man of his weight.
Mr. Jinks received these propositions and a.s.surances, at first, with a shake of the head: he really could not deprive, etc.; then he looked dubious; then he regarded Fodder with admiration and affection; then he a.s.sented to Ralph"s arrangement, and put his arm affectionately around Fodder"s neck.
"I love that animal already!" cried the enthusiastic Mr. Jinks.
Ralph turned aside to laugh.
"That is highly honorable, Jinks, my boy," he said; "there"s no trait of character more characteristic of a great and exalted intellect, than kindness to animals."
"You flatter me, sir."
"Never--I never flatter. Now, Tom," continued Ralph to the negro,"
return homeward, and inform my dear old Governor that, next week, I shall return, temporarily, to make preparations for my marriage.
Further, relate to him the fate of Fodder--go, sir."
And throwing Tom, who grinned and laughed, a piece of silver, Ralph turned again to Jinks.
"Do you like Fodder?" he said.
"I consider him the paragon of donkeys," returned Mr. Jinks.
And, hugging the donkey"s neck--"Eh, Fodder?" said Jinks.
Fodder turned a sleepy looking eye, which was covered with the broad, square leather of the wagon-bridle, toward Mr. Jinks, and regarded that gentleman with manifest curiosity. Then shaking his head, lowered it again, remonstrating with his huge ears against the a.s.saults of the flies.
"He likes you already! he admires and respects you, Jinks!" cried Ralph, bursting into a roar of laughter; "a ride! a ride! mount, sir!"
"Is he vicious?" asked Mr. Jinks.
"Hum! he _has_ been known to--to--do dreadful things!" said Ralph, choking.
Mr. Jinks drew back.
"But he won"t hurt you--just try."
"Hum! I"d rather test his character first," said Mr. Jinks; "of course I"m not afraid; it would be unnecessary for me to prove that, sir--I wear a sword--"
"Oh, yes?"
"But dangerous accidents have frequently resulted from--"
"Donkeys? you are right. But suppose I mount with you!" said Ralph, who had fallen into one of his mischievous moods.
"Hum! sir--will he carry double, do you think?"
"Carry double! He"d carry a thousand--Fodder would! Just get into the saddle, and I"ll put my handkerchief on his back, and mount behind--I"ll guide him. Come!"
And Ralph, with a suppressed chuckle, pushed Mr. Jinks toward the saddle.
Mr. Jinks looked round--cleared his throat--glanced at the expression of the donkey"s eyes--and endeavored to discover from the movement of his ears if he was vicious. Fodder seemed to be peaceful--Mr. Jinks got into the saddle, his gra.s.shopper legs reaching nearly to the ground.
"Now!" cried Ralph, vaulting behind him, "now for a ride!"
And seizing the reins, before Mr. Jinks could even get his feet into the stirrups, the young man kicked the donkey vigorously, and set off at a gallop.
Mr. Jinks leaned forward in the saddle with loud cries, balancing himself by the pummel, and holding on to the mane. Fodder was frightened by the cries, and ran like a race-horse, kicking up his heels, and indeed rendered Ralph"s position somewhat perilous. But that gentleman was experienced, from earliest infancy, in riding bareback, and held on. He also held Mr. Jinks on.
The great swordsman continued to utter loud cries, and to remonstrate piteously. Only the clatter of his sword, and Ralph"s shouts of laughter, answered him.
Still on! and in five minutes Fodder was opposite the store of O"Brallaghan.
A brilliant idea suddenly struck Ralph; with the rapidity and presence of mind of a great general, he put it into execution.
Fodder found one rein loosened--the other drawn violently round; the consequence was, that from a straight course, he suddenly came to adopt a circular one. Mr. Jinks had just saved himself by wrapping his legs, so to speak, around the donkey"s person, when Ralph"s design was accomplished.
Fodder, obeying the pull upon the rein, sweeped down upon O"Brallaghan"s shop, and in the midst of the cries of babies, the barking of dogs, and the shrill screams of elderly ladies, entered the broad door of the clothes-warehouse, and thrust his nose into Mr.
O"Brallaghan"s face, just as that gentleman was cutting out the sixth pair of pantaloons for himself, in which he was to personate St.
Michael.
O"Brallaghan staggered back--Ralph burst into a roar of laughter, and sliding from Fodder, ignominiously retreated, leaving Mr. Jinks and O"Brallaghan face to face.
The scene which then ensued is dreadful to even reflect upon, after the lapse of so many years. Fodder backed into the street immediately, but he had accomplished the insult to O"Brallaghan. That gentleman ran out furiously, shears in hand, and with these instruments it seemed to be his intention to sever the epiglottis of Mr. Jinks, or at least his ears.
But, as on a former occasion, when Mr. Jinks threatened to rid the earth of a scoundrel and a villain, the execution of this scheme was prevented by the interposition of a third party; so on the present occasion did the neighbors interfere and quiet the combatants.
Ralph perfected the reconciliation by declaring that Fodder was the most vicious and dangerous of animals, and that no one could rationally wonder at his conduct on this occasion.
O"Brallaghan thereupon observed that he despised Mr. Jinks too much to touch him, and would forgive him; and so he elbowed his way through the crowd of gossips and re-entered his shop, scowling at, and being scowled at by, the severe Mr. Jinks.
Ralph also embraced the opportunity to slip through the crowd, and hasten round a corner; having achieved which movement, he leaned against a pump, and laughed until two babies playing on the side-walk nearly choked themselves with marbles as they gazed at him. Then chuckling to himself, the young-worthy returned toward the tavern, leaving Mr. Jinks to his fate.
CHAPTER LV.
WOMAN TRAPS LAID BY MR. JINKS.
No sooner had O"Brallaghan retreated into his store, than Mr. Jinks cast after him defiant words and gestures, calling on the crowd to take notice that O"Brallaghan had ignominiously yielded ground, and declined his, Mr. Jinks", proposition to have a combat.
If any wonder is felt at Mr. Jinks" bravery, we may dispel it, probably, by explaining that Mr. O"Brallaghan had two or three months before been bound over in a large sum to keep the peace of the commonwealth against the inhabitants of the said commonwealth, and especially that portion of them who dwelt in the borough of Winchester; which fact Mr. Jinks was well acquainted with, and shaped his conduct by. If there was anything which O"Brallaghan preferred to a personal encounter with fists or shillelahs, that object was money; and Mr. Jinks knew that O"Brallaghan would not touch him.
Therefore Mr. Jinks sent words of defiance and menace after the retreating individual, and said to the crowd, with dignified calmness:
"My friends, I call you to bear witness that I have offered to give this--this--person," said Mr. Jinks, "the amplest satisfaction in my power for the unfortunate conduct of my animal, which I have just purchased at a large sum, and have not exactly learned to manage yet.
We have not come to understand each other--myself and Fodder--just yet; and in pa.s.sing with a young man whom I kindly permitted to mount behind me, the animal ran into the shop of this--individual. If he wants satisfaction!" continued Mr. Jinks, frowning, and laying his hand upon his sword, "he can have it, sir! yes, sir! I am ready, sir!--now and always, sir!"