These words were ostensibly addressed to Mr. O"Brallaghan, who was, in contempt of Mr. Jinks, busily engaged at his work again; but, in reality, the whole harangue of Mr. Jinks was intended for the ears of a person in the crowd, who, holding a hot "iron" in her hand, had run up, like the rest, when the occurrence first took place.
This person, who was of the opposite s.e.x, and upon whom Mr. Jinks evidently desired to produce an impression, gazed at the cavalier with tender melancholy in her ruddy face, and especially regarded the legs of Mr. Jinks with unconcealed admiration.
It was Mistress O"Calligan, the handsome ruddy lady, whom we have met with once before, on that day when Mr. Jinks, remembering O"Brallaghan"s incapacity to fight, challenged that gentleman to mortal combat.
Between this lady and Mr. Jinks, on the present occasion, glances pa.s.sed more than once; and when--O"Brallaghan not appearing--Mr. Jinks rode away from the shop of the dastard, in dignified disgust, he directed the steps of Fodder, cautiously and gently, around the corner, and stopped before the door of Mistress O"Calligan"s lodging.
The lamented O"Calligan was gone to that bourne which we all know of, and his widow now supported herself and the two round, dirty-faced young gentlemen who had choked themselves in their astonishment at Ralph, by taking in washing and ironing, to which she added, occasionally, the occupation and mystery of undergarment construction.
Thanks to these toils, Mistress O"Calligan, who was yet young and handsome, and strong and healthy, had ama.s.sed a very snug little sum of money, which she had invested in a garden, numerous pigs, chickens, and other things; and, in the neighborhood, this lady was regarded as one destined to thrive in the world; and eventually bring to the successor of the lamented O"Calligan, not only her fair self, and good-humored smile included, but also no contemptible portion of this world"s goods.
O"Brallaghan"s ambition was to succeed the lamented. He had long made unsuccessful court to the lady--in vain. He suspected, not without justice, that the graceful and military Mr. Jinks had made an impression on the lady"s heart, and hated Mr. Jinks accordingly.
It was before the low, comfortable cottage of Mistress O"Calligan, therefore, that Mr. Jinks stopped. And tying Fodder to the pump, he pushed aside the under-tunics which depended from lines, and were fluttering in the wind, and so made his entrance into the dwelling.
Mistress O"Calligan pretended to be greatly surprised and fluttered on Mr. Jinks" entrance; and laid down the iron she was trying, by putting her finger in her mouth, and then applying it to the under surface.
She then smiled; and declared she never was in such a taking; and to prove this, sat down and panted, and screamed good-humoredly to the youthful O"Calligans, not to go near that pretty horse; and then asked Mr. Jinks if he would"nt take something.
Mr. Jinks said, with great dignity, that he thought he would.
Thereupon, Mistress O"Calligan produced a flat bottle of poteen, and pouring a portion for her own fair self, into a cup, said that this was a wicked world, and handed the flask to Mr. Jinks.
That gentleman took a tolerably large draught; and then setting down the bottle, scowled.
This terrified Mistress O"Calligan; and she said so.
Mr. Jinks explained that he was angry,--in a towering rage; and added, that nothing but the presence of Mistress O"Calligan had prevented him from exterminating O"Brallaghan, who was a wretched creature, beneath the contempt, etc.
Whereto the lady replied, Really, to think it; but that these feelings was wrong; and she were only too happy if her presence had prevented bloodshed. She thought that Mr. Jinks was flattering her--with more of the same description.
Thus commenced this interview, which the loving and flattered Mistress O"Calligan wrongly supposed to be intended as one of courtship, on the part of Mr. Jinks. She was greatly mistaken. If ever proceeding was calm, deliberate, and prompted by revengeful and diabolical intentions, the proceeding of Mr. Jinks, on the present occasion, was of that description.
But none of this appeared upon the countenance of our friend. Mr.
Jinks was himself--he was gallant, impressive; and warming with the rum, entered into details of his private feelings.
He had ever admired and venerated--he said--the character of the beautiful and fascinating Judith O"Calligan, who had alone, and by her una.s.sisted merits, removed from his character that tendency toward contempt and undervaluation of women, which, he was mortified to say, he had been induced to feel from an early disappointment in love.
Mistress O"Calligan here looked very much flurried, and e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed, Lor!
Mr. Jinks proceeded to say, that the lady need not feel any concern for him now; that the early disappointment spoken of, had, it was true, cast a shadow on his life, which, he imagined, nothing but the gory blood of his successful rival could remove; that still he, Mr.
Jinks, had had the rare, good fortune of meeting with a divine charmer who caused him to forget his past sorrows, and again indulge in hopes of domestic felicity and paternal happiness by the larean altars of a happy home. That the visions of romance had never pictured such a person; that the lady whom he spoke of, was well known to the lady whom he addressed; and, indeed, to be more explicit, was not ten thousand miles from them at the moment in question.
This was so very broad, that the "lady" in question blushed the color of the red bricks in her fire-place, and declared that Mr. Jinks was the dreadfulest creature, and he need"nt expect to persuade her that he liked her--no, he need"nt.
Mr. Jinks repelled the accusation of being a dreadful creature, and said, that however terrifying his name might be to his enemies among the men, that no woman had ever yet had cause to be afraid of him, or to complain of him.
After which, Mr. Jinks frowned, and took a gulp of the poteen.
Mistress O"Calligan thought that Mr. Jinks was very wrong to be talking in such a meaning way to her--and the lamented O"Calligan not dead two years. That she knew what it was to bestow her affections on an object, which object did not return them--and never, never could be brought to trust the future of those blessed dears a-playing on the side-walk to a gay deceiver.
After which observation, Mistress O"Calligan took up a corner of her ap.r.o.n, and made a feint to cry; but not being encouraged by any consternation, agitation, or objection of any description on the part of her companion, changed her mind, and smiled.
Mr. Jinks said that if the paragon of her s.e.x, the lovely Judith, meant to say that he was a gay deceiver, the a.s.sertion in question involved a mistake of a cruel and opprobrious character. So far from being a deceiver, he had himself been uniformly deceived; and that in the present instance, it was much more probable that he would suffer, because the lovely charmer before him cared nothing for him.
Which accusation threw the lovely charmer into a flutter, and caused her to deny the truth of Mr. Jinks" charge; and in addition, to a.s.sert that there existed no proof of the fact that she did"nt care much more for Mr. Jinks than he did for her--and whether he said she did"nt, or did"nt say she did"nt, still that this did"nt change the fact: and so he was mistaken.
Whereupon Mr. Jinks, imbibing more poteen, replied that a.s.sertions, though in themselves worthy of high respect when they issued from so lovely and fascinating a source, could still not stand in opposition to facts.
Mistress O"Calligan asked what facts.
Which caused Mr. Jinks to explain. He meant, that the test of affection was doing one a service; that the loving individual would perform what the beloved wished; and that here the beautiful Judith was deficient.
To which the beautiful Judith, with a preparatory caution to the young O"Calligans, replied by saying, that she had never been tried; and if that was all the foundation for such a charge, the best way to prove its falseness was to immediately test her friendship.
At this Mr. Jinks brightened up, and leaning over toward the ruddy-faced Judith, whispered for some minutes. The whispers brought to the lady"s face a variety of expressions: consternation, alarm, doubt, objection, refusal. Refusal remained paramount.
Mr. Jinks imbibed more poteen, and observed, with dignity, that he had been perfectly well aware, before making his communication, that the protestations of the lady opposite to whom he sat were like those of ladies in general, calculated to mislead and deceive. He would therefore not annoy her further, but seek some other--
Incipient tears from the lady, who thought Mr. Jinks cruel, unreasonable, and too bad.
Mr. Jinks was rational, and had asked a very inconsiderable favor; his beautiful acquaintance, Miss Sallianna, would not hesitate a moment to oblige him, and he would therefore respectfully take his departure--for some time, he was afraid, if not forever.
Mr. Jinks had played his game with much skill, and great knowledge of the lady whom he addressed. He brought out his trump, so to speak, when he mentioned Miss Sallianna, and alluded to his intention never to return, perhaps.
The lady could not resist. The moment had arrived when she was to decide whether she should supply the youthful O"Calligans with a n.o.ble father and protector, or suffer them still to inhabit the dangerous side-walk in infant helplessness, and exposed to every enemy.
Therefore the fair Mistress O"Calligan found her resolution evaporate--her objections removed--she consented to comply with Mr.
Jinks" request, because the object of her affections made it--yes, the object of her affections for many a long day, through every accusation of cabbaged cloth, and other things brought by his enemies--the object of her ambition, the destined recipient of the garden, and the chickens, and the pigs, when fate removed her!
And having uttered this speech with great agitation, and numerous gasps, Mistress O"Calligan yielded to her nerves, and reposed upon Mr.
Jinks" breast.
Fifteen minutes afterwards Mr. Jinks was going back to Bousch"s tavern, mounted on Fodder, and grimacing.
"She"ll do it, sir! she"ll do it!" said Mr. Jinks; "we"ll see. Look out for gory blood, sir!"
And that was all.
CHAPTER LVI.
TAKES VERTY TO MR. ROUNDJACKET.
As Mr. Jinks went along, thus absorbed in his dreams of vengeance, he chanced to raise his head; which movement made him aware of the fact that a gentleman with whom he was well acquainted rode in the same direction with himself--that is to say, toward Bousch"s tavern.