aCrucify him! Crucify him!a the people began to howl.
Pilate ordered a basin and a pitcher of water brought him. He leaned over and washed his hands in front of the crowd.
aI wash and rinse my hands,a he said. aIt is not I who spill his blood, I am innocent. May the sin fall on you!a aHis blood be on our heads and on the heads of our children!a the people bellowed.
aTake him,a Pilate said, aand donat bother me any more!a They seized him, loaded the cross on his back, spit at him, beat him, kicked him toward Golgotha. The cross was heavy. Staggering, he looked about him. Perhaps he would discover one of the disciples and nod to him so that he might take pity on him. He looked and looked. No one. He sighed.
aBlessed is death,a he murmured. aGlory be to G.o.d!a The disciples, meanwhile, had burrowed into Simon the Cyrenianas tavern. They were waiting for the crucifixion to be over and night to fall so that they could escape without being seen. Squatting behind the barrels, they listened with c.o.c.ked ears to the happy throngs which pa.s.sed by outside in the street. The whole citya"men and womena"had begun to run toward Golgotha. The people had enjoyed a fine Pa.s.sover, had eaten more than enough meat, drunk more than enough wine; and now here was the crucifixion to while away their time.
The people ran; the disciples listened to the noise in the street and trembled. Now and then Johnas m.u.f.fled weeping could be heard. At times Andrew rose and paced up and down the tavern uttering threats. Peter cursed and vilified himself for being a coward and not having the courage to race outside to be killed along with the master. How many times he had sworn to him: aWith you, Rabbi, to the death!a But now that death had appeared, he had burrowed behind the barrels.
Jacob grew furious. aJohn,a he said, astop your bawlinga"youare a man. And you, gallant Andrew, donat twist your mustache. Sit down. Sit down, all of you. Letas come to a decision. Suppose heas really the Messiah. With what kind of faces will we appear before him if he is resurrected in three daysa time? Did you ever think about that? What do you say, Peter?a aIf heas the Messiah, weare done fora"thatas what I say,a answered Peter hopelessly. aI told you, I already denied him three times.a aBut if he isnat the Messiah, weare still done for,a said Jacob. aWhat do you say, Nathanael?a aI say we should get out of here. Whether heas the Messiah or not, weare done for.a aAnd leave him like this, unprotected? How can your hearts endure that?a said Andrew, starting to rush toward the door.
But Peter caught hold of his tunic. aSit down, wretch, before I break you into a thousand pieces! Letas find another solution.a aHypocrites and Pharisees!a Thomas hissed. aWhat solution? Letas speak out and not blush over it: we made a transaction, we sank in all our capital. Yes: business! Why look daggers at mea"thatas what we did; we transacted a little business. You give me and I give you. I gave my waresa"combs, spools of thread, pocket mirrorsa"in exchange for the kingdom of heaven. All of you did the same. One gave his boat, another his sheep, a third his peace of mind. And now the whole affair has gone to the devil. Weare bankrupt; our capital has disappeared down the drain. Look out we donat lose our lives in the bargain. What advice do I give, then? Go while the goingas good!a aAgreed!a shouted both Philip and Nathanael. aGo while the goingas good!a Peter turned anxiously to Matthew, who was sitting off to one side. He had been listening with cupped ear, not breathing a word. aFor G.o.das sake, Matthew,a Peter said, adonat write all this down. Play deaf. Donat make us ridiculous for all eternity!a aDonat worry, I know what Iam doing,a Matthew answered. aI see and hear a lot, but I select. ... A word, however, for your own good: Come to a n.o.ble decision; show how brave you area"so that I can write about it, and you poor fellows can be glorified. You are apostles, and thatas no small matter!a Just then Simon the Cyrenian shoved open the tavern door and entered. His clothes were torn, his face and chest full of blood, his right eye swollen and running. Cursing and groaning, he threw off the rags that remained to him, plunged his head in the tub he used to clean the winegla.s.ses, grabbed a towel and wiped his chest and back, all the while bellowing and spitting. Then he put his mouth to the tap of the barrel and drank. Hearing a disturbance behind the barrels, he leaned over. When he saw the pile of huddling disciples, he went wild.
aOut of my sight, filthy dogs!a he screamed at them. aBah! Is this the way you stick by your chief! Ducking out of battle, eh! Lousy Galileans, lousy Samaritans, lousy b.a.s.t.a.r.ds!a aG.o.d knows our souls were willing,a Peter ventured, abut our bodiesa"a aShut up, jabber-jaws! Bah! When the soul is willing, the body doesnat mean a thing. All becomes soul, even the club in your hand, the coat on your back, the stones you walk overa"all, all! Look, cowards, look at me: black and blue, my clothes in tatters, my eyeb.a.l.l.s ready to fall out of my head. Why?a"the devil take you, filthy disciples!a"because, d.a.m.n it, I defended your master. I fought the whole populationa"me, me, the innkeeper, the lousy Cyrenian! And why did I do it? Was it because I believed he was the Messiah and tomorrow head make me great and important? Not a bit; no, not a single bit. It was because my confounded self-respect got hold of me, and Iam not sorry, either!a He paced up and down, tripped over the stools, spat, cursed. Matthew was sitting on hot coals. He wanted to learn what happened at Caiaphasas palace, what at Pilateas, what the teacher said, what the people shouted, so that he could record it all in his book.
aIf you believe in G.o.d, Simon, my brother,a he said, aquiet down and tell us what happened: how, when and where; and if the teacher spoke.a aHe certainly did speak!a Simon answered. aad.a.m.n you to h.e.l.l, disciples!aa"thatas what he said. Wella"write! Why are you looking at me? Grab your pen and write: ad.a.m.n you to h.e.l.l!aa Lamentations arose from behind the barrels. John was rolling on the ground and screeching, and Peter was beating his head against the wall.
aIf you believe in G.o.d, Simon,a Matthew begged him again, atell the truth so that I can write it down. Canat you understand that at this moment the future of the whole world depends on what you say?a Peter was still beating his head against the wall.
aBlast it, donat get desperate, Peter,a the innkeeper said to him. aIall tell you what you can do to win glory for all eternity. Listen: soon theyare going to lead him by herea"I already hear the noise. Get up, open the door like a man, go take the cross from him and put it on your own shoulders. Itas heavy, curse it, and your G.o.d is very delicate, and exhausted.a Laughing, he shoved Peter with his foot. aYouall do it? I want to see some action, here and now!a aI would do it, I swear to you, if there werenat such a crowd,a Peter whined. aTheyall make mincemeat out of me.a The enraged innkeeper spat. aGo to h.e.l.la"all of you!a he shouted. aWill none of you do it? You, Nathanael bean-stalk? You, Andrew cutthroat? No one, no one? Pfou! To the devil with you all! Ah, my poor Messiah, what sterling generals you chose to help you conquer the world! Youad have done better choosing mea"me! I may deserve to be hanged and have my head displayed on a stake, but Iave got a little self-respect all the same, and when a fellowas got self-respect it doesnat matter if heas a drunkard, a robber or a liar: heas still a man. When youave got no self-respect, you might be an innocent dove, but pfou! youare not worth a miserable shoe patch!a Spitting again, he opened the door and stood on the threshold, puffing.
The streets had filled with people. Men and women were running, shouting, aHeas coming! The king of the Jews is coming. Boo! Boo!a The disciples burrowed again behind the barrels. Simon whirled around. aBah! Donat you have any self-respect? Youare not going out to see him, eh? Wonat you even give the poor fellow the consolation of a glimpse of his disciples? All right, then: Iall go out, Iall wave to him. aItas me,a Iall say, ame, Simon the Cyreniana"present.a a With one bound he was in the road.
The mult.i.tude pa.s.sed by, wave after wave. In front, Roman cavalry; behind, Jesus bearing the cross. Blood ran over him, and his clothes hung in tatters. He no longer had the strength to walk. His face pitched more and more forward; he continually stumbled, ready to fall, and they continually set him up straight again and kicked him onward. In back ran the lame, the blind and the maimed, enraged because he had not healed them. They cursed him and struck him with their crutches and canes. He frequently looked around him. Would none of the beloved companions appear? What had happened to them?
Outside the tavern he turned and saw the innkeeper waving his hand at him. His heart rejoiced. He started to nod his head to say goodbye to him but tripped on a stone and collapsed to the ground, the cross over his back. He groaned with pain.
The Cyrenian rushed forward, lifted him up, took the cross and loaded it upon his own back. Then he turned and smiled at Jesus. aCourage,a he said to him. aIam here; donat be afraid.a They left by the gate of David and started up the slope which led to the summit of Golgothaa"Golgotha: all stones, thorns and bones. Here the rebels were crucified, their remains left to the vultures. The air stank from carrion.
The Cyrenian put down the cross. Two soldiers began to dig and embed it between the rocks. Jesus sat down on a stone and waited. The sun hung high above them; the heavens were white, burninga"and closed. Not a flame, not an angel, not even a small sign that someone there above was watching the events below on earth. ... And while he sat and waited, crumbling a small clod of earth between his fingers, he felt someone standing before him, looking at him. Raising his head calmly, without haste, he saw and recognized her.
aWelcome, faithful fellow voyager,a he murmured. aHere the journey ends. What you wanted has been accomplished; what I wanted has also been accomplished. All my life I toiled to turn the Curse into a blessing. Iave done it, and we are friends now. Farewell, Mother!a He waved his hand languidly at the savage shade.
Two soldiers grabbed him by the shoulders. aGet up, Your Majesty,a they shouted at him. aMount your throne!a They undressed him, revealing his thin body. It was covered with blood.
The heat was intense. The people, tired of shouting themselves hoa.r.s.e, watched mutely.
aLet him drink some wine to gain strength,a a soldier suggested.
But Jesus pushed away the cup and extended his arms to the cross. aFather,a he murmured, ayour will be done.a The blind, the leprous and the maimed now began to howl. aLiar! Cheat! Deceiver of the people!a aWhere is the kingdom of heaven, where are the ovens with the loaves?a howled the ragam.u.f.fins, and they barraged him with lemon peels and stones.
Jesus spread wide his arms and opened his mouth to cry, Brothers! but the soldiers seized him and hoisted him up onto the cross. Then they called the gypsies with the nails, but as the hammers were lifted and the first blow was heard, the sun hid its face; as the second was heard, the sky darkened and the stars appeared: not stars, but large tears which dripped onto the soil.
The crowd was overcome with fright. The horses on which the Romans were mounted became ferocious. Rearing, they began to gallop furiously and trample the Jewry. Then earth, sky and air suddenly grew mute, as at the beginning of an earthquake.
Simon the Cyrenian fell p.r.o.ne onto the stones. The world had shaken many times under his feet, and he was terrified. aAlas! now the earth will open up and swallow us all,a he murmured.
He lifted his head and looked around him. The world seemed to have fainted. Deathly pale, it was now just barely visible in the bluish darkness. The heads of the people had vanished and only their eyesa"black holesa"bored through the air. A thick flock of crows which had scented the blood and rushed to Golgotha now fled in terror. A feeble gasp of complaint descended from the cross, and the Cyrenian, tying his heart into a knot so that he would not weep, lifted his eyes and looked. Suddenly he uttered a cry. Jesus was not being nailed to the cross by gypsies! No, a mult.i.tude of angels had come down from heaven, holding hammers and nails in their hands. They flew around Jesus, swung the hammers happily and nailed the hands and feet; some tightly bound the victimas body with stout cord so that he would not fall; and a small angel with rosy cheeks and golden curls held a lance and pierced Jesusa heart.
aWhat is this?a murmured the Cyrenian, trembling. aG.o.d himself, G.o.d himself is crucifying him!a And thena"never in his life had the Cyrenian experienced such intense fear or pain-a great, heart-rending cry, full of complaint, tore the air from earth to heaven.
aELI ... ELI ...a The sufferer was unable to continue. He wanted to but could not: he had no more breath.
The Crucified inclined his heada"and fainted.
Chapter Thirty.
HIS EYELIDS fluttered with joy and surprise. This was not a cross; it was a huge tree reaching from earth to heaven. Spring had come: blossoms covered the entire tree; and at the very very end of each branch a bird sat over the brink and sang. ... And hea"he stood erect, his whole body leaning against the flowering tree. He lifted his head and counted: one, two, three ...
aThirty-three,a he murmured. aAs many as my own years. Thirty-three birds, and all singing.a His eyes expanded, burst their bounds, covered his entire face. Without turning, he could see the world in bloom in every direction. His ears, two sinuous seash.e.l.ls, received the blasphemies, weeping and tumult of the world and turned them into song. And from his heart, pierced by a lance, the blood flowed.
There was no wind, but the compa.s.sionate tree shed its flowers, one by one, onto his thorn-entangled hair and b.l.o.o.d.y hands. And as he struggled amid the sea of twitterings to remember who he was and where he was, the air suddenly whirled, congealed, and an angel stood before him. ... At that moment, day broke.
He had seen many angels, both while asleep and while awake, but he had never seen an angel like this. What warm, human beauty, what soft, curly fluff on his cheeks and upper lip! And the eyesa"how they played friskily, full of pa.s.sion, like those of a young man or woman in love. His body was supple and firm; a blue-black disquieting fluff enwrapped his legs, from the shins to the rounded thighs; and his armpits smelled of beloved human sweat.
Jesus was disconcerted. aWho are you?a he asked him, his heart pounding.
The angel smiled and his whole face became sweet, like the face of a man. He folded his two wide green wings as though he did not want to frighten Jesus too much.
aI am just like yourself,a he answered. aYour guardian angel. Have faith.a His voice was deep and caressing, compa.s.sionate and familiara"just like the voice of a man. The voices of the angels Jesus had heard until now had been severe, and they had always scolded him. Rejoicing, he looked imploringly at the angel and waited for him to speak again.
The angel divined this and inclined smilingly to the manas desire. aG.o.d sent me to bring sweetness to your lips. Men have given you much bitterness to drink; the heavens have done the same. You have suffered and struggled. In your whole life you have seen not one day of gladness. Your mother, brothers, disciples; the poor, the maimed, the oppresseda"all, all abandoned you in the last terrible moment. You remained upon a rock in the darkness, completely alone and undefended. And then G.o.d the Father took pity on you. aHey, there, why are you sitting?a he called to me. aArenat you his guardian angel? Well, go down and save him. I donat want him to be crucified. Enoughas enough!a a aLord of hosts,a I answered him, trembling, adidnat you send him to earth to be crucified in order to save mankind? Thatas why I sit here undisturbed: I thought that such was your will.a a aLet him be crucified in a dream,a G.o.d answered; alet him taste the same fear, the same pain.a a aGuardian angel,a cried Jesus, grasping the angelas head with both his hands so that he would not lose him, aguardian angel, Iam bewildereda"wasnat I crucified?a The angel placed his all-white hand on Jesusa agitated heart in order to calm it. aQuiet down, donat be disturbed, beloved,a he said to him, and his bewitching eyes fluttered. aNo, you werenat crucified.a aWas the cross, then, a dreama"and the nails, the pain, the sun which became dark?a aYes, a dream. You lived your entire Pa.s.sion in a dream. You mounted the cross and were nailed to it in a dream. The five wounds in your hands, feet and heart were inflicted in a dream, but with such force that, look! the blood is still flowing.a Jesus gazed around him in a trance. Where was he? What was this plain with its flowering trees and water? And Jerusalem? And his soul? He turned to the angel and touched his arm. How cool his flesh was, how firm!
aGuardian angel,a he said, aas you speak my flesh finds relief, the cross becomes the shadow of a cross, the nails shadows of nails, and the crucifixion floats in the sky above me, like a cloud.a aLet us go,a said the angel, and he began to stride nimbly over the blossoming meadow. aGreat joys await you, Jesus of Nazareth. G.o.d left me free to allow you to taste all the pleasures you ever secretly longed for. Beloved, the earth is gooda"youall see. Wine, laughter, the lips of a woman, the gambols of your first son on your kneesa"all are good. We angels (would you believe it?) often lean over, up there in heaven, look at the eartha"and sigh.a His huge green wings fluttered and embraced Jesus. aTurn your head,a he said; alook behind you.a Jesus turned his heada"and what did he see? High in the distance, the hill of Nazareth gleamed in the rising sun, the fortress gates were open, and a mult.i.tude of thousandsa"all great lords and ladiesa"was coming out. They were dressed in gold and mounted on white horses. Waving in the air were standards of snowy-white silk decorated with golden lilies. The procession descended between flowering mountains, pa.s.sed by royal castles, forded rivers, wound in and out, hugging the hillsides. He heard a din compounded of laughter, shrill conversations, and from behind the thick clumps of trees, sweet sighs.
aGuardian angel,a said Jesus, bewildered, awhat is this mult.i.tude of n.o.blemen? Who are these kings and queens? Where are they going?a aItas a royal marriage procession,a the angel replied with a smile. aThey are going to a wedding.a aWho is getting married?a aYou,a he answered. aThis is the first joy I give you.a Jesusa blood flowed up to his head. Suddenly he conjectured who the bride would be, and his flesh rejoiced. He was in a hurry now. aLetas go,a he said.
He immediately felt that he too had mounted a white horse saddled and bridled in gold. He looked at himself. A blue feather was waving at the top of his head, and his poor tunic with its thousands of patches had become all velvet and gold.
aMy boy, is this the kingdom of heaven I announced to men?a he asked.
aNo, no,a the angel replied, laughing. aThis is the Earth.a aHow did it change so much?a aIt did not change; you did. Once upon a time your heart did not want the earth: it went against her will. Now it wants hera"and that is the whole secret. Harmony between the earth and the heart, Jesus of Nazareth: that is the kingdom of heaven. ... But why waste our time with words? Come, the bride is waiting.a The angel now mounted a white horse, and they set out. Behind him the mountains neighed with the royal cavalcade which was descending. The laughter of the women had increased. The birds, beating their wings in the air, were drawing everything toward the south. aHeas coming,a they sang, aheas coming, heas coming!a Jesusa heart was also a bird. Perched on the top of his head, it twittered, aIam coming, Iam coming, Iam coming!a But while he was galloping, suddenly, in the midst of his great exaltation, he remembered his disciples. Looking behind him, he examined the ma.s.s of lords and ladies, searched to find thema"and did not find them.
He glanced at his companion with surprise.
aAnd my disciples?a he asked. aI donat see them. Where can they be?a He was answered with mocking laughter. aDispersed.a aWhy?a aFear.a aEven Judas?a aAll! All! They returned to their caques, hid themselves in their cottages. They swear they never saw you, donat know you. ... Donat look behind you any more. Forget about them. Look in front.a The inebriating perfume of flowering lemon trees invaded the air.
aHere we are,a said the angel, dismounting. His horse turned into light and vanished.
A deep lowing of complaint, all suffering and sweetness, resounded from within the olive grove. Jesus felt troubled: his own bowels seemed to be calling out. He looked. Tied to the trunk of an olive tree was a gleaming full-rumped bull, black with white forehead. His tail was held high, and a nuptial crown rested on his horns. Jesus had never seen such power, such brilliance, such hard muscles, nor eyes so dark, so full of virility. He was frightened. This is not a bull, he reflected; it is one of the dark, deathless faces of Almighty G.o.d.
The angel stood near him and smiled cunningly. aDonat be afraid, Jesus of Nazareth. Itas a bull, a young virgin bull. Look how swiftly he moves his tongue and licks his moist nostrils, how he lowers his head and b.u.t.ts the olive tree, anxious to fight with it, how he shakes himself in order to break the rope and escape. ... Look down there in the meadow. What do you see?a aHeifers, young heifers. Theyare grazing.a aTheyare not grazing; theyare waiting for the young bull to break the rope. Listen once more how he bellows. What tenderness, what supplication, what power! Truly, like a dark and wounded G.o.d. ... Why has your face grown fierce, Jesus of Nazareth? Why do you look at me with those dark, unlaughing eyes?a aLet us go,a Jesus bellowed softly. His voice was all tenderness, supplication and power.
aFirst Iall release the bull,a answered the angel, laughing. aDonat you feel sorry for him?a He approached and untied the rope. For a moment the chaste beast did not move. But suddenly he understood: he was free. With a bound he rushed toward the meadow.
At precisely that instant Jesus heard the tinkling of bracelets and necklaces from within a lemon orchard. He turned. Mary Magdalene, crowned with lemon blossoms, was standing before him, bashful and trembling.
Jesus rushed forward and took her in his arms. aMagdalene, beloved Magdalene,a he cried, aoh, how many, how very many years Iave longed for this moment! Who stepped between us and refused to leave us freea"G.o.d? ... Why are you crying?a aBecause of my great joy, Beloved; because of my great longing. Come!a aLet us go. Lead me!a He turned to say goodbye to his companion, but the angel had vanished into the air. Behind them, the great royal cortege of lords, ladies, kings, white horses and white lilies had also vanished. Below in the meadow, the bull was mounting the heifers.
aWhom are you looking for, Beloved? Why do you gaze behind you? Only we two remain in the world. I kiss the five wounds on your feet, your hands, your heart. What joy this is, what a Pa.s.sover! The whole world has been resurrected! Come.a aWhere? Give me your hand; lead me. I trust you.a aTo a dense orchard. Youare being hunted; they want to seize you. Everything was readya"the cross, the nails, the mob, Pilatea"but suddenly an angel came and s.n.a.t.c.hed you away. Comea"before the sun mounts and they see you. Theyave grown rabid: they want your death.a aWhat have I done to them?a aYou sought their good, their salvation. How can they ever pardon you for that! Give me your hand, Beloved. Follow the woman. She, always sure, finds the way.a She took his hand. Her fiery-red veil swelled as she walked hastily under the flowering, soon-fruitful lemon trees. Her fingers, entwined in those of the man, were burning hot, and her mouth smelled of lemon leaves.
Out of breath, she stopped for a moment and looked at Jesus. He shuddered, for he saw her eye frolic seductively, cunningly, like the eye of the angel. But she smiled at him.
aDonat be afraid, Beloved. For years and years Iave had something on the tip of my tongue, but I never had the courage to reveal it to you. Now I shall do so.a aWhat is it? Speak without fear, Beloved.a aIf youare in the seventh heaven and a pa.s.ser-by requests a gla.s.s of water of you, descend from the seventh heaven in order to give it to him. If you are a holy saint and a woman requests a kiss of you, descend from your sanct.i.ty in order to give it to her. Otherwise you cannot be saved.a Jesus seized her, threw back her head and kissed her on the mouth.
They both turned deathly pale. Their knees gave way. Unable to go further, they lay down under a flowering lemon tree and began to roll on the ground.
The sun came and stood above them. A breeze blew; several lemon flowers fell on the two naked bodies. A green lizard cemented itself to a stone opposite and watched them with its round, motionless eyes. Now and then the bull could be heard bellowing in the distance, rested now and satiated. A gentle drizzle cooled the two burning bodies and drew out the odor of the soil.
Purring, Mary Magdalene hugged the man, kept his body glued to hers.
aNo man has ever kissed me. I have never felt a manas beard over my lips and cheeks, nor a manas knees between my knees. This is the day of my birth! ... Are you crying, my child?a aBeloved wife, I never knew the world was so beautiful or the flesh so holy. It too is a daughter of G.o.d, a graceful sister of the soul. I never knew that the joys of the body were not sinful.a aWhy did you set out to conquer heaven, and sigh, and seek the miraculous water of eternal life? I am that water. You have stooped, drunk, found peace. ... Are you still sighing, my child? What are you thinking about?a aMy heart is a withered rose of Jericho which revives and opens up again when placed in water. Woman is a fountain of immortal water. Now I understand.a aUnderstand what, my child?a aThis is the road.a aThe road? What road, dearest Jesus?a aThe road by which the mortal becomes immortal, the road by which G.o.d descends to earth in human shape. I went astray because I sought a route outside the flesh; I wanted to go by way of the clouds, great thoughts and death. Woman, precious fellow worker of G.o.d, forgive me. I bow and worship you, Mother of G.o.d. ... What shall we name the son we are going to have?a aTake him to the Jordan and baptize him as you please. Heas yours.a aLetas call him Paraclete, the Comforter!a aShh, I hear someone coming through the trees. It must be my faithful little Negro. I told him to keep watch so that no one would come near. Here he is!a aSaul, maaam.a The boyas brilliantly white eyes danced; his chubby body was frothing all over like that of a horse after a gallop.
Magdalene jumped up and placed her hand over his mouth. aQuiet!a She turned to Jesus. aBeloved husband, youare tired. Sleep. I shall return quickly.a But Jesus had already closed his eyes. A sweet sleep had flowed over his eyelids and temples, and he did not see Magdalene go away under the lemon trees and disappear down the deserted road.
But his mind jolted up. Leaving his body on the ground to sleep, it started out after Magdalene. Where was she going? Why had her eyes suddenly filled with tears and the world grown dim? His mind, like a hawk, flew over those eyes and did not let her escape.
The frightened young Negro stumbled along in front. They pa.s.sed the olive grove. The sun still had not set. They entered the meadow. The heifers were stretched out on the gra.s.s, chewing their cud. They went down into a shady, rocky ravine where they heard dogs barking and the panting voices of men. Terror took hold of the young Negro. aIam leaving,a he said, and ran off.
Magdalene remained all alone. She looked around her. Rocks, flint, a few brambles. A wild, barren fig tree protruded horizontally from the face of the cliff. Two ravensa"sentries on the vantage point of a jutting rocka"caught sight of Magdalene and began to screech as though calling their mates.
She heard the sound of stones being dislodged. Men were climbing the cliff. A black, red-spotted dog appeared, its tongue hanging out. The ravine became filled, like a cemetery, with cypresses and palms.
A calm, satisfied voice was heard. aWelcome.a Magdalene turned around. aWho spoke? Who greeted me?a aI did.a aWho are you?a aG.o.d.a aG.o.d! Let me cover my hair and hide my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Turn away your face, Lord; you must not see my nakednessa"Iam ashamed. Why did you bring me into this savage wilderness? Where am I? I see nothing but cypresses and palms.a aExactly! Death and immortality. ... Great Martyr, Iave brought you precisely where I want you. Prepare yourself for death, Magdalene, so that you may become immortal.a aI donat want to die. I donat want to become immortal. Let me continue to live on the earth, and afterward, turn me into ashes.a aDeath is a caravan laden with spices and perfumes. Do not be afraid, Magdalene. Mount the black camel and enter the desert of heaven.a aOh, who are those frenzied travelers who emerged from behind the cypresses?a aDonat be afraid, Magdalene; they are my camel-drivers. Shade your eyes with your hand. Donat you see the black camel they are leading, the one with the red velvet saddle on which youall ride? Do not resist.a aLord, Iam not afraid of death, but I have a complaint to make. Just now, for the first time, my flesh and soul were considered worthy of having the same mouth; for the first time, both of them were kisseda"and must I die?a aThis is an excellent moment for you to die, Magdalene. You wonat find a better one, so do not resist.a aOh! what are those cries, threats and peals of laughter I hear? Lord, do not abandon me. Theyare coming to kill me!a She heard the voice, still calm and satisfied, but far away now in the distance. aMagdalene, you have attained the highest joy of your life. You can go no higher. Death is kind. ... Until we meet again, First Martyr!a The voice disappeared. From a bend in the ravine the mob of frenzied Levites and bloodthirsty slaves of Caiaphas emerged with knives and hatchets. They saw Magdalene, and cleavers, dogs and men fell upon her.
aMary Magdalene, wh.o.r.e!a they howled in fits of laughter.
A black cloud covered the sun; the earth grew dark.
aIam not, Iam not!a the unfortunate woman cried out. aI was, but am not. Today I was born!a aMary Magdalene, wh.o.r.e!a aI was, but Iam not now, I swear it. Donat kill me. Mercy! Who are you, you with the bald head, the fat belly, the crooked legsa"you, the hunchback? Donat touch me!a aMary Magdalene, wh.o.r.e! I am Saul. The G.o.d of Israel sent me from Damascus and gave me the authority to kill him.a aTo kill whom?a aYour lover!a He turned to his gang.
aOn her, lads! Sheas his lover, sheall know. Tell us where youave hidden him, strumpet!a aI wonat!a aIall kill you!a aIn Bethany!a aLiar! Weave just come from there. Youave got him hidden somewhere near here. The truth now!a aLet go of my hair! Why do you want to kill him? What has he done to you?a aWhoever lifts his hand against the holy Lawa"death!a While the hunchback spoke he looked at her pa.s.sionately and came closer and closer, his breath on fire.
Magdalene fluttered her eyelids. aSaul,a she said, alook at my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, my arms, my throat. Wouldnat it be a shame if they perished? Donat kill them!a Saul came still closer. His voice was smothered, hoa.r.s.e. aConfess where he is and I wonat kill you. I like your b.r.e.a.s.t.s, your arms, your neck. Pity your beauty and confess! Why do you look at me like that? What are you thinking?a aI was just thinking, Saula"and sighinga"just thinking what miracles you would perform if G.o.d suddenly flashed within you and you saw the truth! To conquer the world my beloved needs disciples like youa"not fishermen, peddlers and shepherds, but flames like yourself, Saul!a aConquer the world! Does he want to conquer the world? How? Speak, Magdalene, because thatas just what I want to do.a aWith love.a aWith love?a aSaul, listen to what Iam going to tell you. Send the others awaya"I donat want them to hear. This man youare hunting and want to kill is the son of G.o.d, the Saviour of the world, the Messiah! Yes, by the soul which I shall render to G.o.d!a A skinny, tubercular Levite with a scanty gray beard hissed: aSaul, Saul, her arms are wolf snares. Beware!a aGo away!a He turned again to Magdalene. aWith love? I too want to conquer the world. I go down to the ports, see the ships leaving, and my heart burns. I want to reach the ends of the earth, but not as a beggarly slave of a Jew: no, as a king, with my sword! But how? Itas impossible. I feel so wretched I want to kill myself. In the meantime I find relief by killing others.a He was quiet for a moment and then, coming still closer to the woman, aWhere is your master, Magdalene?a he asked in a gentle tone. aTell me so that I can go find him and speak with him. I want him to tell me what love is, and which kind of love will conquer the world. ... Why are you crying?a aBecause I do want to reveal to you where he is. I want the two of you to meet. He is all sweetness; you all fire. Together, you will conquer the world. But I donat trust you; no, I donat trust you, Saula"and thatas why Iam crying.a She was still speaking when a stone whistled through the air and broke her jaw.
aBrothersa"in the name of the G.o.d of Abraham, Isaac and Jacoba"strike!a howled the consumptive Levite. It was he who had seized the first stone and had struck her.
The heavens thundered. In the distance the setting sun was bathed in blood.
aHereas for her thousand-kissed mouth!a howled one of Caiaphasas slaves. Magdaleneas teeth scattered on the ground.
aHereas for her belly!a aAnd for her heart!a aAnd for the bridge of her nose!a Magdalene buried her head in her breast to protect it. Blood gushed from her mouth, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, her womb. The death rale commenced.
The hawk beat its wings. Its round eyes had seen everything. Uttering a piercing cry, it returned, found its body still lying under the lemon trees, and entered. Jesusa eyelids fluttered; a large drop of rain fell on his lips. He awoke and sat up on the rich mortuary soil, lost in thought. What had he just dreamed? He could not remember. Nothing remained in his mind but stones, a woman and blood. ... Could the woman have been Magdalene? Her face rippled, flowed like water, would not stay fixed so that he could see it. As he struggled to distinguish it the stones and blood seemed to turn into a loom, and now the woman was a weaver sitting before her machine and singing. Her voice was exceeding sweet, and full of complaint.
Above his head the lemons gleamed all gold between the dark leaves of the lemon tree. He pressed his palms into the damp soil and felt its coolness and vernal warmth. He glanced quickly around him: no one was watching. Leaning over, he kissed the earth.
aMother,a he said softly, ahold me close, and I shall hold you close. Mother, why canat you be my G.o.d?a The lemon leaves stirred, there were light footsteps on the damp earth, an invisible blackbird whistled. Jesus raised his eyes and saw his green-winged guardian angel standing before him, pleased and merry. The curly fuzz on his body glittered in the oblique rays of the setting sun.
ah.e.l.lo,a Jesus said. aYour face is sparkling. What more good news do you bring me? I have faith in you: the green of your wings is like the gra.s.s of the earth.a The angel laughed and folded his wings. Squatting next to Jesus he crumpled a lemon flower and smelled it ardently, then gazed at the western sky, which was now the color of sour cherries. A gentle breeze rose from the earth, and all the leaves of the lemon tree rustled joyously and danced.
aHow happy you human beings must be!a he said. aYou are made of soil and water, and everything on the earth is made of soil and water. Thatas why you all match: men, women, meat, vegetables, fruit. ... Arenat you of the same soil, the same water? Everything wants to join together. Why, just now on my way I heard a woman calling you.a aWhy was she calling me? What does she want?a The angel smiled. aHer water and soil are calling your water and soil. She sits at her loom, weaving and singing. Her song pierces the mountains, spills over the plaina"seeking you. Listen. In a moment it will come here, here to the lemon trees. Quiet: there it is. Do you hear? I thought she was singing, but she is not singing; she is lamenting. Listen carefully. What do you hear?a aI hear the birds returning to their nests. Itas getting dark.a aNothing else? Try with all your might. Let your soul escape your body so that it may hear.a aI hear! I hear! The voice of a woman, far away, far away ... Sheas lamenting, but I canat catch the words.a aI hear them perfectly. Listen to them yourself. What is she lamenting?a Jesus rose and exerted all his strength: his soul escaped. It arrived at the village, entered the house and stopped in the courtyard.
aI hear ...a Jesus said, putting a finger to his lips.
aSpeak.a Tomb of silver, tomb of gold, gilded tomb, Eat not the red lips, eat not the black eyes, Eat not his tiny nightingale-voiced tongue ...
aDo you recognize the singer, Jesus of Nazareth?a aYes.a aItas Mary, the sister of Lazarus. She is still weaving her trousseau. She thinks you are dead, and weeps. Her snowy throat is uncovered; her necklace of turquoises bears down upon her bosom. Her whole body is wet with sweata"and smells: smells like bread freshly removed from the oven, like the ripe quince, like soil after a rain. Get up. Let us go and console her.a aAnd Magdalene?a Jesus cried, frightened.
The angel took him by the arm and sat him down once more on the ground. aMagdalene,a he said tranquilly. aOh, yes, I forgot to tell you: sheas dead.a aDead?a aShe was killed. Hey, where are you going, Jesus of Nazareth, with your fists all clenched like that? Whom are you off to murdera"G.o.d? It was he who killed her. Sit down! The All-Holy threw an arrow, pierced her at the highest peak of her happiness, and now she remains above, immortal. Can there be a greater joy for a woman? She will not see her love fade, her heart turn coward, her flesh rot away. I was there the whole time he was killing her, and I saw what happened. She lifted her hands to heaven and shouted, aThank you, G.o.d. This is what I wanted!a a But Jesus flared up. aOnly dogs have such a longing for submissiona"dogs and angels! Iam not a dog and Iam not an angel. Iam a man, and I shout, Unjust! Unjust! Almighty, it was unjust of you to kill her. Even the most boorish of wood-choppers trembles to cut down a tree in bloom, and Magdalene had blossomed from her roots right up to the topmost branches!a The angel took him in his arms and caressed his hair, shoulders, knees; spoke to him quietly, tenderly. It became dark at last. A breeze blew, the clouds scattered and a large star appeared. It must have been the Evening Star.
aBe patient,a he said to him, asubmit, do not despair. Only one woman exists in the world, one woman with countless faces. This one falls; the next rises. Mary Magdalene died, Mary sister of Lazarus lives and waits for us, waits for you. She is Magdalene herself, but with another face. Listen ... She sighed again. Let us go and comfort her. Within her womb she holdsa"holds for you, Jesus of Nazaretha"the greatest of all joys: a sona"your son. Let us go!a The angel stroked his friend tenderly and slowly lifted him from the ground. The two now stood together under the lemon trees. Above them, the Evening Star went down, laughing.
Little by little Jesusa heart softened. In the humid half darkness the faces of Mary Magdalene and Mary sister of Lazarus were mixing, becoming one. The night arrived, all perfume, and covered them.
aCome,a mumbled the angel, placing his round, fuzzy arm about Jesusa waist. His breath smelled of nutmeg and damp soil. Jesus leaned his head against him, closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He wanted the breath of the guardian angel to descend to his very bowels.
Smiling, the angel unfolded one of his wings. The night was accompanied by a heavy frost, and he wrapped his thick green wings around Jesus so that he would not be cold. Once more the womanas lament, like a peaceful springtime drizzle, was audible in the damp air: Tomb of silver, tomb of gold ...
aLet us go,a said Jesus, and he smiled.
Chapter Thirty-One.
ALL NIGHT LONG Jesus skimmed over the ground wrapped in the green wings and hugging the angel tightly around the waist. A large moon had climbed into the sky. It was odd tonight, and merry. On it, instead of seeing Cain slay Abel, you saw a wide, happy mouth, two peaceful eyes and two well-nourished cheeks bathed in light: the fully circular face of a night-roaming woman in love. The trees fled; the night birds spoke like human beings. The mountains opened, drew the two nocturnal wanderers within and closed again behind them.
What happiness this is: to fly, skimming over the earth just as we do in our dreams! Life has become a dream. Can this be the meaning of Paradise? ... He wanted to ask the angel but remained quiet, for he feared that by speaking he might wake himself up.
He looked around him. How very light the spirits of the stones, the air, the mountain, had become: as when you sit with friends, your heart heavy, and the cool wine comes and you drink; and little by little your mind lightens, hovers, sails above your head, becomes a rosy cloud; and the world, all gold and air, is reflected on it upside down.
Once more he started to turn in order to speak to the angel, but the other placed his finger on his lips, smiled at him, and gently told him to be still.