"Poor child!" he said--"Are you not a prisoner in the House of Aselzion?"
"With my own consent,"--I answered.
He lifted his hands in a kind of appealing astonishment, and the woman smiled sadly.
"Not so!"--she told me--"You are under a very serious delusion. You are here by the wicked will of Rafel Santoris--a man who would sacrifice any life remorselessly in the support of his own mad theories! You are under his influence, you poor creature!--so easily trapped, too!--you think you are following your own way and carrying out your own wishes, but you are really the slave of Santoris and have been so ever since you met him. You are a mere instrument on which he can play any tune."
And she turned to the old man beside her with an appealing gesture--"Is it not so?"
He bent his head in the affirmative.
For a moment my brain was in a whirl. Could it be possible that what they said was true? Their looks were sincere,--they could have no object but kindness in warning me of intended mischief. I tried to conceal the torturing anxiety that possessed me, and asked quietly-- "If you have good reason to think all this, what would you advise me to do? If I am in danger how shall I escape from it?"
The woman looked curiously at me, and her eyes glittered with sudden interest. Her venerable companion replied to my question--
"Escape is quite easy here and now. You have only to follow us and we will take you out of this wood and escort you to a place of safety.
Then you can return to your own home and forget--"
"Forget what?" I interrupted him.
"All this foolishness"--he answered, with a gentle seriousness--"This idea of eternal life and love which the artful conjurer Rafel Santoris has instilled into your too sensitive and credulous imagination--these fantastic beliefs in the immortality and individuality of the soul,--and you will accept old age and death with the sane resignation of ordinary mortals. Such love as he professes to believe in does not exist,--such life can never be,--and the secret of his youth--"
"Ah!" I exclaimed eagerly--"Tell me of that! And of Aselzion"s splendid prime when he should be old and feeble? Tell me of that also!"
For the first time during this interview, my two companions looked confused. I saw this, and I gained confidence from their evident embarra.s.sment.
"Why," I pursued--"should you come to me with warnings against those whom G.o.d or Destiny has brought into my life? You may perhaps say that you yourselves have been sent by G.o.d--but does Deity contradict Itself?
I am not conscious of having suffered any evil through Rafel Santoris or through Aselzion--I am pained and perplexed and tortured by what I hear and see--but my hearing and sight are capable of being deceived--why should I think of evil things which are not proved?"
The woman surveyed me with sudden scorn.
"So you will stay here, the dupe of your own sentiments and dreams!"--she said, contemptuously--"You, a woman, will remain among a community of men who are known impostors, and sacrifice your name and reputation to a mere chimera!"
Her look and manner had completely changed, and I was at once on my guard.
"My name and reputation are my own to protect,"--I answered, coldly--"Whatever I do I shall be ready to answer for to anyone having the right to ask."
The old man now advanced and laid his hand on my arm. His eyes sparkled angrily.
"You must be saved from yourself"--he said, sharply, "You must come with us whether you will or no! We have seen too many victims of Aselzion"s art already--we are resolved to save you from the peril which threatens you."
And he made an effort to draw me closer to him--but my spirit was up and I held back with all my force.
"No, I will not go with you!" I exclaimed, hotly--"G.o.d alone shall remove me from harm if any harm is really meant towards me. I do not believe one word you have said against Rafel Santoris or against Aselzion--I love the one, and I trust the other!--let me go my own way in peace!"
Hardly had I spoken these words when both the old man and woman threw themselves upon me and seizing me by force, endeavoured to drag me away with them. I resisted with all my strength, still holding tightly the book of the "Secret of Life" in one hand. But their united efforts were beginning to overpower me, and feeling myself growing weaker and weaker I cried aloud in desperation:
"Rafel! Rafel!"
In an instant I stood free. My captors loosed their hold of me, and I rushed away, not knowing whither--only running, running, running, afraid of pursuit--till I suddenly found myself alone on the borders of a dark stretch of water spreading away in cold blackness to an unseen horizon.
XVIII
DREAMS WITHIN A DREAM
I stopped abruptly, brought perforce to a standstill. There was nothing but the black water heaving in front of me with a slow and dizzying motion and faintly illumined by a dim, pearly light like that of a waning moon. I looked behind me, fearing my persecutors were following, and saw that a thick mist filled the air and s.p.a.ce to the obliteration of everything that might otherwise have been visible. I had thought it was day, and that the sun was shining, but now it appeared to be night.
Utterly fatigued in body and mind, I sank down wearily on the ground, close to the edge of the strange dark flood which I could scarcely see.
The quiet and deep obscurity had a lulling effect on my senses--and I thought languidly how good it would be if I might be allowed to rest where I was for an indefinite time.
"I can understand"--I said to myself--"why many people long for death and pray for it as a great blessing! They have lost love--and without love, life is valueless. To live on and on through cycles of time in worlds that are empty of all sweetness,--companionless and deprived of hope and comfort--this would be h.e.l.l!--not heaven!"
"h.e.l.l--not heaven!" said a voice near me.
I started and looked up--a shadowy figure stood beside me--that of a woman in dark trailing garments, whose face shone with a pale beauty in the dim light surrounding us both.
"So you have found your way here at last!" she said, gently--"Here, where all things end, and nothing begins!"
I rose to my feet and confronted her.
"Where all things end!" I repeated--"Surely where life exists there is no end?"
She gave me a fleeting smile.
"Life is a dream,"--she said--"And the things of life are dreams within the dream! There are no realities. You imagine truths which are deceptions."
I looked at her in wonder and bewilderment. She was beautiful--and the calm sadness of her eyes expressed compa.s.sion and tenderness.
"Then--is Creation a lie?" I asked.
She made no immediate answer, but pointed with one hand towards the dark water. I looked, and uttered a cry of ecstasy--there, shining in the heaving blackness like a vision from fairyland, was the "Dream"--glittering from stem to stern with light that sparkled like millions of diamonds!
"Your Dream of Love!" said the woman beside me--"Behold it for the last time!"
With straining eyes and beating heart I watched--and saw the shining vessel begin to sink slowly into the deep watery blackness--down, down still lower, till only her masts were visible--then something defiant and forceful sprang up within me,--I would master this torture, I thought--I would not yield to the agony that threatened to drive me to utter despair.
"This is a phantom of sorrow!"--I said--"It has no meaning! The love that is in my heart is my own!--it is my life, my soul, my inmost being!--it is eternal as G.o.d Himself, and to Him I commend it!"
I spoke these words aloud, holding the book of the "Secret of Life"
clasped to my breast--and raised my eyes trustfully to the dense darkness which should have been the sky. Then I felt the woman"s hand on mine. Her touch was warm and gentle.
"Come!" she said, softly.
And I saw a small boat slip out on the gloomy water, guided towards me by One whose face was hidden in a fold of black. My companion drew me with her and signed to me to enter. Something in myself, as well as in her looks, impelled me to obey, and as she stepped into the boat I followed. We were borne along in silence for what seemed to me a long time, till suddenly I began to hear strange sounds of wailing, and shuddering cries of appeal, and our darkness was lightened by the drifting to and fro of pale forms that were luminous and human in shape though scarcely of human resemblance.
"What are these?" I whispered.