The Naturewoman

Chapter 17

OCEANA. I find I prefer it. I think I shall stay here forever. It tunes you up so! It makes you quite drunk! [Looks at herself in the mirror.] I look cute in this, don"t I?

HENRY. You look like a fairy-story!

OCEANA. I ought to have had sense enough to think of a theatrical costumer in the beginning. [Stretches her arms.] Oh, I feel so wonderful! Ha, ha, ha! I don"t know whether it"s the mountain air.. . or whether it"s because I"m in love!

HENRY. [Seizes her hand.] Sweetheart!

OCEANA. [Stares at him.] How wonderful it is! Beyond all believing! I"m stunned by it... afraid of it. Tell me, Hal, were you ever drunk?



HENRY. [Laughs.] Once or twice.

OCEANA. [Seriously.] I never was. But I"ve watched my people sometimes and tried to understand it. And it"s just that. Nature has made us drunk!

HENRY. And that is what frightens you?

OCEANA. She has her purposes, Hal; and I don"t want to be her blind victim. But then, I look at you again, and wonder leaps up in me... love, such as I never conceived of before; power... vision without end. I seem to be a hundred times myself! It is as if barriers were broken down within me... I see into new vistas of life. I understand... I exult! Oh, Hal, I shall never be the same again!

HENRY. Nor I; I look back at myself as I was a week ago, and I can"t believe it.

OCEANA. With me it is like a great fountain inside. It surges up, and I cannot be still! I want to laugh... to sing! I have to dance it out of me! Do you know Anitra"s Dance, Hal?

HENRY. Yes, of course.

OCEANA. [Begins to sing the music to herself and playfully to dance. The enthusiasm of it takes hold of her, and she dances more quickly.] Play it, Hal! Play!

[HENRY sits at piano and plays Anitra"s Dance; she dances tumultuously, ending in a whirlwind of excitement.] Oh!

[As Henry rises, she flies to him and he clasps her pa.s.sionately.]

HENRY. Sweetheart!

OCEANA. [Panting.] Oh, Hal, I"m so happy! So happy! [She sobs upon his shoulder, then looks at him through her tears.] Oh, if I only dared let myself go!

HENRY. Why not, dearest?

OCEANA. It sweeps me off my feet! And I have to hold myself in.

HENRY. Why? Don"t I love you?

OCEANA. Yes, I know. But I"m terrified at myself; I"m losing my self-control. And I promised father.

HENRY. What?

OCEANA. That I would never do it. "Never feel an emotion," he would say, "that you could not stop feeling if you wished to."

HENRY. But, sweetheart... why so much distrust? Why should we wait, when everything in us cries out against it?

OCEANA. Don"t say that to me now, Hal!

HENRY. But why not?

OCEANA. This is not the time for such a thought. You know it!

HENRY. Dearest...

OCEANA. [Pa.s.sionately.] Ah, don"t put it all on me! Don"t make it too hard for me!

HENRY. But if I only knew...

OCEANA. You will know before long. Ah, Hal, see how I"m situated. I"ve broken all the laws. I"ve no precedent to help me... I have to work it all out for myself. I shall have to bear the scorn of the world; and oh, think if I had to bear the scorn of my own conscience! Don"t you see?

HENRY. Yes, I see. But...

OCEANA. I have chosen a certain course. I have forced myself to be calm, to think it out in the cold light of reason, to decide what is right for me to do. And now I must keep to my resolution. You would not want our love to lead me into shame!

HENRY. No!

OCEANA. Do you read Nietzsche, Henry?

HENRY. He is a mere name to me.

OCEANA. I will give you some lines of Nietzsche"s. "Canst thou give thyself thy good and thine evil, and hang thy will above thee as thy law? Canst thou be thine own judge, and avenger of thy law? Fearful is it to be alone with the judge and the avenger of thy law. So is a stone flung out into empty s.p.a.ce and into the icy breath of isolation."

HENRY. That"s all right... but if you expect Let.i.tia to face this problem in any such way, you will be sadly disappointed.

OCEANA. That"s none of my affair. All I have to do is to give her a chance. If she cannot face the facts, she has pa.s.sed sentence upon herself.

HENRY. [Laughs.] All right, my dear. It will certainly be a scene to watch!

OCEANA. You think she will come?

HENRY. Oh, she"ll certainly come.

OCEANA. And she won"t bring her mother?

HENRY. I can"t tell about that.

OCEANA. If she does, we"ll simply have to send her down to the village ... I won"t talk in Aunt Sophronia"s presence.

HENRY. I was perfectly explicit on that point. [Takes paper from table.] Here"s the telegram: "Come to the bungalow immediately, upon a matter of extreme urgency. Do not bring your mother."

OCEANA. Certainly that is clear enough.

HENRY. And bewildering enough. But I suppose they are prepared for anything by now.

OCEANA. It"s past the time. [Looking from window.] We should be able to see a sleigh.

HENRY. No, the road turns behind that hillock there.

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