G.A.R.--Yes, but is was a more common sight to see a sentry box.
A simple old farmer, McVeagh, Whom every one said was a jeagh, Fell in with a man On the confidence plan, And now he is back making heagh.
"Why, the bare idea!"
"Of what, dear?"
"Telling the naked truth!"
BESS--May wears the worst clothes when she is riding horseback.
Look at her now!
FRED--That certainly is one of her bad habits.
"That," said the loaf, pointing to the oven, "is where I was bred."
FIRST FLY--Did it ever occur to you the baldheaded men have a keener sense of humor than others?
SECOND FLY--Well, I have noticed that they seem to be easily tickled.
The rubber plant was rubb"ring round In a manner most absurd: The long green corn p.r.i.c.kled up her ears And this is what she heard:
"Wot"s tomato wid you, you beat?"
Asked the onion of the hash, "I"m jealous of the potato, Because he"s got a mash.
"He is stuck on the honeycomb, And suits her to a tea, I used to be in love myself, But the cream has soured on me."
"Why do you call your dog hardware?"
"Because when I go to whip him he makes a bolt for the door."
HUSBAND--That ice box of ours reminds me of a good pinochle player.
WIFE--Why?
HUSBAND--Because it is a great melter.
HE: Do you know, dear, you remind me of Huyler"s candy.
SHE: Why? Because I am "so sweet?"
HE: No! "Fresh every hour."
LANDLADY (proudly)--Nothing goes to waste in this house. I make hash out of everything that"s left over.
BOARDER--(musingly)--But what do you do with the hash that"s left over?
LANDLADY--Re-hash it!
"If," said the druggist, "you will give this new tonic a trial I"m sure you will never use any other."
"Excuse me," rejoined the customer, "but I prefer something less fatal."
"Do you know, George, Papa thinks you are a literary man."
"Where did he get that idea?"
"I don"t know, but he said you looked just like a bookmaker."
STUDENT--Professor, which is the logical way of reaching a conclusion?