_Mart._ This Fellow should be a Jesuit by his Taciturnity. You see, Father, the miserable State of our poor Son.
_Old Lar._ I have advis"d him thereon.
_Mart._ Your Advice is kind, tho" needless. He hath not wanted Prayer, Fasting, nor Castigation, which are proper Physick for him.
_Old Lar._ Or suppose, Father, he was to go to a Ball. What think you of a Ball?
_Mart._ A Ball?
_Old Lar._ Ay, or a Wench now; suppose, we were to procure him a Wench.
_Mart._ Oh! monstrous! Oh! impious!----
_Old Lar._ I only give my Opinion.
_Mart._ Thy Opinion is d.a.m.nable. And thou art some Wolf in Sheep"s clothing. Thou art a Scandal to thy Order.
_Old Lar._ I wish thou art not more a Scandal to thine, Brother Father, to abuse a poor old Fellow in a Fit of the Spleen here as thou dost, with a Set of ridiculous Notions of Purgatory and the Devil knows what, when both you and I know there is no such thing.
_Mart._ That I should not know thee before. Don"t you know this reverend Father, Son? Your worthy Neighbour _Laroon_.
_Old Lar._ Then farewel, Hypocrisy. I wou"d not wear thy Cloke another Hour for any Consideration.
_Jourd._ What do I see?
_Old Lar._ Why you see a very honest Neighbour of yours, that has try"d to deliver you out of the Claws of a roguish Priest, whom you may see too; look in the Gla.s.s and you may see an old doating Fool, who is afraid of his own Shadow.
_Mart._ Be not concerned at this, Son. Perhaps, one Hour"s suffering from this Fellow, may strike off several Years of Purgatory; I have known such Instances.
_Jourd._ Oh! Father! Didst thou know what I have been guilty of believing against thee, from the Mouth of this wicked Man?
_Old Lar._ Death and the Devil, I"ll stay no longer here; for if I do, I shall cut this Priest"s Throat, tho" the Rack was before my Face.
SCENE VI.
Martin, Jourdain.
_Mart._ Son, take care of believing any thing against the Church: It is as sinful to believe any thing against the Church, as to disbelieve any thing for it. You are to believe what the Church tells you, and no more.
_Jourd._ I almost shudder when I think what I believed against you. I believed that you had seduced my Daughter.
_Mart._ Oh! horrible! and did you believe it? Think not you believed it.
I order you to think you did not believe it, and it were now sinful to believe you did believe it.
_Jourd._ And can I think so.
_Mart._ Certainly. I know what you believe better than you your self do.
However, that your Mind may be cleansed from the least Pollution of Thought--go say over ten Bead-Rolls immediately, go and Peace attend you----
_Jourd._ I am exceedingly comforted within.
SCENE VII.
Martin _solus_.
Go. While I retire and comfort your Daughter. Was this a Suspicion of _Laroon_"s, or am I betrayed? I begin to fear. I"ll act with Caution, for I am not able yet to discover whether this Girl be of prodigious Simplicity or Cunning. How vain is Policy, when the little Arts of a Woman are superior to the Wisdom of a Conclave. A Priest may cheat Mankind, but a Woman would cheat the Devil.
SCENE VIII. _The Street._
_Old_ Laroon, _Young_ Laroon _meet_.
_Y. Lar._ Well, Sir, what Success?
_Old Lar._ Success! you Rascal! If ever you offer to put me into a Priest"s Skin again, I"ll beat you out of your own.
_Y. Lar._ What"s the Matter, Sir?
_Old Lar._ Matter, Sir? Why I have been laughed at, have been abused.
"Sdeath! Sir! I am in such a Pa.s.sion, that I do not believe I shall come to my self again these twenty Years. That Rascal _Martin_ discovered me in an Instant, and turned me into a Jest.
_Y. Lar._ Be comforted, Sir, you may yet have the Pleasure of turning him into one.
_Old Lar._ Nothing less than turning him inside out.----Nothing less than broiling his Gizzard will satisfy me.
_Y. Lar._ Come with me, and I dare swear, I"ll give your Revenge Content. We have laid a Snare for him, which I think it is impossible he should escape.
_Old Lar._ A Snare for a Priest! a Trap for the Devil! You will as soon catch the one as the other.
_Y. Lar._ I am sure our Bait is good----A fine Woman is as good a Bait for a Priest-trap, as toasted Cheese is for a Mouse-trap.
_Old Lar._ Yes, but the Rascal will nibble off twenty Baits before you can take him.
_Y. Lar._ Leave that to us. I"ll warrant our Success.
_Old Lar._ Wilt thou? then I shall have more Pleasure in taking this one Priest, than in all the other wild Beasts I have ever taken.
SCENE IX.
Jourdain, Isabel.
_Isa._ If I don"t convince you he"s a Villain, renounce me for your Daughter. Do not shut your Ears against Truth, and you shall want no other Evidence.
_Jourd._ Oh, Daughter, Daughter, some Evil Spirit is busy with you. The same Spirit that visited me this Morning, is now in you.